False Attraction
by grey-eyed-blonde
Summary: Bella moves to Forks after the death of her mother. There, she makes quick friends with the popular and spoiled kids of the sticks. When Edward, the dark player, becomes her rival for a prestigious scholarship, what will their attractions prove to be? AH
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Twilight and all affiliated characters belong to S. Meyers. I do not own a thing. **

**AH, OOC, B+E**

**Rated M for Sex, drugs, mature themes. **

**BPOV**

I woke up at six-thirty in the morning, fricking early as hell, to the smell of bacon and eggs downstairs in the kitchen. Slowly I pulled the covers off and walked over to the window and opened the blinds. To no surprise, it was overcast and drizzling outside. _Great_.

I rubbed my eyes, yawned, and shuffled along the soft carpeting making my way to the bathroom down the hall.

I grabbed the handle to open the door, and of course, it was locked. _Frickin' Rosalie_.

"Rose" I called out, banging the door with my fist, "Hurry the hell up!"

"Bella, don't even fucking start with me!" Rose hollered back, swinging open the door and flashing me a wicked glare. "If this is ever going to fucking work, which I don't anticipate it will, you are going to have to learn some ground rules."

I couldn't hold my giggles back and burst out into laughter in her face. Rose was wearing one of those bright blue gunky looking facemasks, and had her hair was messily pulled up in a hairpin, slightly resembling a big golden rat's nest. It was comical to see Rosalie, the beauty queen, with her morning face on.

Rosalie was not amused with my laughter, and shook her head in annoyance. "Look, Bella. Just give me until seven" she said, slamming the door in my face.

I shuffled down the long curved staircase, running my hand down the smooth cherry banister to steady my disorientation, and entered the kitchen, pulled out a stool and sat down with my head in my hands on the marble island.

"Not a morning girl, are you?" Esme observed, chuckling to herself as she took a sip of her coffee.

"Not usually," I groggily replied.

"Are you going to be okay today at school, hun?" she asked, eyeing my carefully.

"Yah Esme, I'll be fine."

I hated all the unnecessary attention I was receiving since I moved to Forks. Usually I was a "suffer in silence" type of person, but Esme was convinced that wasn't a healthy coping mechanism, in fact she didn't think that was coping at all.

My mom, Renee died of pancreatic cancer this past spring. My mom was my only real family and losing her messed up right up. Despite Esme's most persistent attempts of getting me into therapy, I wouldn't have any of that hocus pocus voodoo shit. Maybe it works for some kids, but it's not my grieving method of choice. I learned at a young age that you can't rely on anyone for anything, which is why I was happier dealing with my issues using my special blend of pot and my favourite pipe than talking to some shrink that didn't know crap about my life. Writing was my outlet and I had some pretty fucking amazing poetry going after my mom's death; grief brings out the strongest of emotions and I framed some of the darker poems to remind me of why I was here in Forks.

My dad died when I was a little girl so I had no family back in Phoenix which is why I had to come to this deadbeat town and live with my only living family – my aunt Esme and her daughter Rosalie.

Esme was cool; I had gotten to know her a little bit by living with her this summer. Esme made her best efforts to make me feel at home in Forks, even though I was pretty damn sure I would never feel at home ever again for the rest of my life.

Rosalie was decent; as far as cousins go she was pretty chill, despite being the polar opposite of me.

Rosalie Hale was Forks High's beauty queen; standing 5'8"with a figure that any supermodel would envy, long cascading wavy blonde locks and the most intense blue eyes that were to die for, she was every guy's fantasy, and every girl's worst enemy. She wasn't exactly modest about this either.

I, on the other hand, was totally average. I had brown hair, brown eyes, and pale skin. There was absolutely nothing outstanding about me. Mind you, this is not to say I didn't get guy's attention, because believe me; I had experience in that field. I had a foul mouth and wicked wit, and I suppose there was something seductive about being such an independent woman. I guess the short skirts and combat boots didn't help my chances either.

However this year wasn't about boys at all. This year was about maintaining my perfect 4.0 so I could get into Harvard, then go to law school, and then become the most successful feminist lawyer that every man feared. Thus, I was stashing away the short skirts and combat boots this year.

It wasn't about friends, either. I had acquired some friends over the summer through Rose; her best friend Alice and I got along pretty good and their friend Jasper was just about the coolest kid I ever met; man, if anyone ever marched to their own drum and didn't give a damn about it, it was Jazz. Only he could pull off the style he had.

Plus the neighbour boy Jake was a good time. So, although I preferred being anti-social, Rose was Miss Popularity in Forks and thus her popularity was passed onto me by virtue of being her blood relative. What I wouldn't give to live a day in her shoes.

Rosalie had her nearly perfect GPA, and spent most of her free time fucking her football player boyfriend, Emmett McCarty, the Senator's son. Her tactic was simple: sleep her way to the top. By dating the Senator's son, who in turn would easily cruise through undergrad and law school granted he chose that path (or perhaps he would take one of the many football scholarships that were being handed to him on a silver platter) she already had her life set out for her. Not like Rose needed to be worried about anything like money or prestige; Esme was the single most successful paediatrician in the entire state, which made it difficult for her to find her match as well. I could totally relate to poor Esme. She was too intelligent by society's standards, and in turn, guys were intimidated by her profuse knowledge of all things medical and thus every single date she had ended up dumping her because she was too smart. Even the doctors she dated felt she was a little too smart. I found this ridiculous because Esme was one of the most stunning and kind women I had ever met. She was entirely modest about everything from her looks to her intellect, which is why I found it difficult to believe that she and Rosalie, the vainest person to walk the earth, were related.

"BELLAAAAAAAAA" Rose yelled from upstairs, breaking my concentration.

"Comingggg" I replied, running upstairs to see what the emergency was about.

I reached the bathroom huffing and puffing.

"God Bella, you need to cut the smoking," Rose said as she meticulously applied her mascara.

"Yah, whatever, what's the emergency?" Smoking was the only thing that helped me get from day to day.

"Well like I said, you get the bathroom from seven until seven-thirty. We leave her at eight, no later. Class starts at eight fifteen."

Wow, what a spaz. Rosalie needed to take things down a notch.

"So who gets the bathroom between seven-thirty and eight?" I said comically, trying to lighten her mood a bit.

She looked at me puzzled. "Well, I do of course. I never said you couldn't use the downstairs bathroom for your" she paused, searching for the right word, "_primping_ or whatever you do in the morning."

She smacked her glossy lips and sashayed down the hall in her fuzzy pink Victoria' Secret robe and into her bedroom. _Drama queen_.

I took one look at myself in the fog-covered bathroom mirror. Ugh. There was absolutely nothing appealing about me this morning. My hair was flat, my complexion was grey from the lack of sleep, and I was starting to develop a serious smoker's hack. I nearly keeled over in a coughing fit during my self-assessment in the mirror and settled on not doing the whole "showering" thing today.

I hollered to Rose to let her know that she could use the bathroom and trudged back to my bedroom.

I searched my closet for something cute to wear on my first day at the new school and found nothing.

_Screw that, as if I would even be noticed beside Rosalie anyway._

I settled on a black hoodie and jeans, and my favourite red Converse Chuck Taylor's.

I ran down the stairs and Rose was standing by the front door, impatiently tapping her foot and glaring at me. "That" she pointed at my outfit with wide eyes, "Is what you are wearing to debut yourself as Rosalie Hale's cousin?"

I just shrugged her unnecessary comment off, incredibly tempted to let her know that her tiny white v-neck cleavage-baring sweater and thigh high denim skirt wasn't exactly appropriate for school unless you were a stripper. And that was _before_ she put on her sparkly baby blue four-inch stiletto heels.

Nonetheless I lost; the threat of losing her popularity because her cousin dressed like a "dyke" was too much to risk. So I obligingly followed her up those damn friggin stairs, huffing and puffing, to her bedroom where she slutted up by outfit.

I left her room wearing a pair of purposely ripped True Religion jeans (why anyone would buy a pair of $300 jeans that were intentionally tore to bits, I will never know), a plain white tank top, a trucker hat, and battled and won the fight to wear my Chuck Taylor's.

"Now," she said, grabbing her keys off the counter, "Starbucks run before class?"

****

We pulled up to the school in Rosalie's ostentatious red BMW M3 convertible, lattes in hand, and I had a bittersweet taste of what popularity was like for a brief second but was quickly overshadowed by Rosalie.

Guys were practically dropping to their knees, worshipping the very ground she walked on. She brushed them aside, paying them no attention whatsoever, and waltzed into the school toward our lockers. I wasn't so comfortable with everyone staring at us, and suddenly wished that my jeans didn't have rips right below my butt cheeks, exposing small slits of thigh to anyone who was behind me.

Emmett was waiting by her locker looking all happy; smiling wide and revealing his adorable dimples. Emmett was a giant and I wouldn't ever want to get on his bad side; he stood an intimidating six foot four and weighed about two hundred and twenty pounds of pure muscle, and had jet black short hair. I found Emmett to be sexy as hell, much like every other girl in Forks. Once you got to know him, he was like a big, giant teddy bear.

"Hey Emmett."

"So, big day today Bella, being your first day at a new school and all. Don't let anyone intimidate you Bella. Me, Cullen and Whitlock might as well own the place."

I gave him an appreciative smile. It was nice to have guys like Emmett and Jasper around.

I stuffed my backpack in my locker, grabbed the white Macbook that Esme so kindly purchased for me, and stalked off to biology, late and alone and feeling vulnerable.

I heard guys commenting on me as I walked to my homeroom and suddenly regretted not just sticking with my original outfit. But when I walked into the classroom, I realized that girls didn't exactly 'dress down' for class here at Forks High. Most of them had overly processed hair and were dressed to the nines, presumably because it was the first day back from the summer holidays. Two girls in particular stood out; they were wearing skimpy short skirts, high heels, and tube tops; something that I would only wear to a bar, if at all. They were both smacking their gum against their shiny pink heavily glossed lips and frantically texting into their Blackberry's. I guessed they were texting to each other because as soon as they noticed me they both grabbed their phones and texted back and forth, laughing at the messages. _Pathetic_.

I scanned the classroom for an empty seat and found one at the very back left corner of the classroom.

I set up my computer and was instantly appreciative that Esme insisted on me using "modern technology" rather than a pen and paper. Apparently nobody had heard of pens and paper at this school, and everyone had a brand new shiny laptop.

The teacher, Mr Molina cleared his throat in an attempt to get the class's attention and failed miserably. He rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed with everyone's attitude, and spoke up.

"Guys, settle the heck down. Turn to page four in your text and read the first chapter and answer questions one through twelve on page thirty." Nobody seemed to notice he spoke up except for me so he walked over and began flicking the lights.

Just when he was in the middle of his disciplinary action of calling out specific names to quiet them down ("Mallory, Stanley, Yorkie, be quiet!") the classroom door opened and the most gorgeous man I ever laid eyes on walked into the room. He was wearing jeans and a blue Lacoste button down shirt and had an expensive looking backpack swung around his left shoulder. He had smouldering topaz eyes and bronze hair that was dishevelled, looking like he just had a romp in the sack. His body was perfectly toned and I could see his immaculately sculpted pecs through his shirt. Just as my mouth was about to drop open, he ran his fingers through his messy hair, which was about the hottest thing he could have done right then.

"Ah, Mr Cullen," Mr Molina called out, clearly very irritated with this student's tardiness. "Thank you for gracing us with your presence. Now take a seat beside Ms Swan."

I nearly choked. This... this _Adonis_ was going to sit next to me, and I was expected to pay attention _how_? I raised my eyebrows as he approached my table.

"Oh and Cullen? Next time you decide to sleep in, how about you do us a favour and not show up at all," Mr Molina said, looking rather satisfied with his defeat.

And just when I'd thought the teacher finally put this kid in his place, this alleged _Cullen_ freezes in his spot and turns around, looking the teacher in the eyes.

"Yah Molina? You want to take that up with my father?" He retorted, sizing the teacher up with his eyes, more than thrilled with a slight challenge by an authority figure.

The teacher just dropped his jaw and slowly hung his head, accepting his loss.

"That's what I thought" Cullen smirked.

I nearly gasped. Never had I seen a teacher so humiliated. Mr Molina apologized and excused himself from the classroom for a minute, likely to ice his wounds and count his losses with some sort of cheap whiskey.

_So that is how this place operates_, I thought to myself, storing it in the back of my head.

I looked down as the Greek god approached me, avoiding eye contact and attempting to look busy with my work.

He sat down, unpacked his shiny new Macbook Pro, and looked over at me, presumably assessing me for a long couple of minutes.

I swear to god I read the same sentence over twelve times. _Scientists have not been able to cause amino acids dissolved in water to join together to form proteins. The energy-requiring chemical reactions that join amino acids are reversible and do not occur spontaneously in water._

I couldn't even think.

"Does sweetheart have a name?" he said, holding his hand out to shake mine.

"Um, me?" I muttered, not sure if he was actually real, let alone talking to me.

"Yes you, silly." He laughed quietly to himself, clearly amused with his own thoughts.

I looked at him with wide eyes, trying not to look like my heart was about to burst out of my chest and start pumping on the lab table in front of us.

"Um, yes, I'm Bella. Bella Swan." I searched his face for a sign of recognition and suddenly his eyes shifted up and down my body, critically sizing me up.

"Oh so you are _the_ Swan, eh?" he said, still checking me out. "Not bad, not bad. I'm Edward Cullen."

I took his hand and shook it, and I felt a surge of electricity run through my body. This boy was going to be the death of me.

I quickly looked back down at my textbook and tried to read, which was proving to be an impossible feat with this sex bomb sitting beside.

_Scientists have not been able to cause amino acids dissolved in water to join together to form protein. _Fuck, not this sentence again.

He started up his laptop and the desktop lit up featuring a nearly naked Megan Fox as his background; nearly naked meaning nothing but a tiny piece of sheer fabric was covering her vajay, and two hands clutching on to her perfect round boobs barely left anything to the imagination.

_As if he needed to fantasize about her. He could probably win her over with a flash of that smug grin of his. _

He noticed me staring and called me out on it.

"Haha Megan Fox fan eh?" he said smugly, watching as my face turned a humiliating shade of scarlet. "She's such a babe. I met her when I was in LA for a bit this summer. The Fox doesn't disappoint" he smirked.

_What. The. Fuck_. I looked at him with a puzzled face, trying to decipher whether he was joking or not. As a response he just chuckled, and went on to browse the internet for cars or some crap like that, with MSN messages popping up every four seconds from various girls in the classroom.

The rest of class was uneventful and dull; Mr Molina returned looking serene and flipped through a _National Geographic_ at the front of the room. I finished the answers in the textbook quickly and handed them in to him.

Mr Molina furrowed his brow at my paper, confused as to how I could be finished so early, and closely examined my answers. When he was content with my answers and could find no flaws, he dismissed me early.

As I was walking down the halls, mentally kicking myself in the head for giving more than two seconds of thought to that... that _pig_... that _man whore_, I heard someone call my name from behind. He had the most incredible voice in the world, and I didn't have to look to see whose it was.

I turned around slowly and low and behold, _he_ was walking toward me, looking cocky as hell.

"Hey Swan," he hollered, and I halted until he caught up with me, my arms crossed across my chest, doing the impatient Rosalie foot tap.

"Yes?" I asked sceptically, wondering what the hell he could want with me.

"I noticed you handed in your paper pretty early, and Molina looked almost _impressed_. Were you in some kinda AP program back in _wherever_ you came from?"

I looked at him smugly. He was clearly threatened by my intelligence and that is right where I wanted him. This kid couldn't have an ounce of intelligence in his thick head.

"Well yes, I was top of my AP class in _Phoenix_," I said, correcting his rude referral to my hometown, "And I expect to be top of the class here in this place you call _Forks_ as well." I turned on my heels and walked away, leaving him dumbfounded, or at least I hoped I did.

"Hey Swan!" he hollered again. _Yah, he's real dumbfounded, Swan_.

I rolled my eyes and turned around, being sure to look utterly unaffected by him. He was _so_ threatened.

"So if you're as smart as you say you are, you must be fighting for that scholarship eh?"

Now _that_ tweaked my interest. "What scholarship?" I asked casually, pretending I didn't need the money or anything. Judging by the student parking lot, everyone here was pretty damn rich.

"The Roosevelt Scholarship of Distinction," he said, matter-of-factly. When he realized I had no clue what he was talking about, he continued, "Twenty-five grand to the top student of the graduating class." I nearly choked at that sum. I couldn't fathom winning that much money. "And this isn't some Miss Popularity valedictorian shit. This is the top student, strictly based on your GPA. Sure, they have other awards and shit based on your sucking up skills, but those are reserved for Mike Newton type people. And Rosalie Hale is up for one of the scholarships for the most sucking and _blowing_. The Roosevelt is unbiased, which is why I am the most likely to win right now. As you can imagine, I'm not exactly popular with a lot of the staff at this school" he said, and that sexy smug grin returned.

I paused for a minute. This scholarship would seal my chances of getting in to Harvard. I needed this. Renee wasn't exactly responsible with her money, which is why I barely had any funds to pay for one semester of college, let alone Harvard of all places.

"I hadn't considered it," I said casually, shrugging it off. _Let him think that he's got nothing on you, then kick his ass, leaving him blown away in the dust. _

****

**EPOV**

I sat on my prized Italian leather couch in front of the forty-two inch LCD TV in my room, completely bored with the selection of channels. As I mindlessly flipped through the channels, I went over some of the highlights of the first day back at Forks High.

Well today was a hell of a lot more interesting than I would've guessed.

Usually when there's new meat in the school, they're all over me, eye-fucking the shit out of me upon first laying eyes on me, and then throwing themselves at me during lunch.

Take Jessica Stanley for example. She arrived at Forks High in the tenth grade and was giving me head by lunch that same day. We had a nice little arrangement where she blew me and I did nothing in return but listen to her mindless banter every once in awhile to up her popularity. Rarely was I ever so desperate that I had to call on her for sex, but hey, she was a good booty call regardless. Sometimes it was nice not having to reciprocate.

But not this chick – no way, no how. She was totally indifferent toward me. She barely even looked at me all class, and couldn't have looked more unimpressed as I told her about the most-coveted scholarship in Forks High history. My grand-father won that scholarship in his graduating year, as did my father. It was absolutely expected that I win it, and there was nothing anyone could do to get in the way. Hell, Carlisle even bribed the teachers by funding the renovation of the new school library, appropriately called "Cullen Family Library." Not that I needed bribing for my grades, of course. I was positively more intelligent than most of the teachers in this place, a benefit of Carlisle's sending me to private tutoring and private summer programs across Europe since I was five. Plus, I like to believe I'm just inherently fucking brilliant. My attitude on the other hand, well that was the cause of many minor infractions resulting in suspensions and threats of expulsion, which never looked good on a transcript. Carlisle went out of his way constantly trying to get these little professional school deterrents off my transcript.

This Swan chick was surely just on some power-trip from being top of Arizona High or wherever she said she came from, and was clearly nothing to worry about.

Don't get me wrong though, she was a fine piece of ass. She'd definitely be a good fuck, and I'm sure she could satisfy. From vast personal experience, it's always the slightly insecure girls that are the hottest in the sack.

Being Rosalie Hale's cousin, this girl had more than enough reason to feel insecure. Rosalie Hale was the hottest piece of ass to ever grace Forks High. Her mother was a fine piece of ass too, but always held back a bit; it was clear Esme had reservations about her looks, and she was too damn smart for her own good. She worked at Port Angeles General Hospital with my father and they were constantly butting heads at work.

I hooked up with Rosalie before she started dating Emmett and she was highly overrated; sure she was the _hottest_ lay I've ever had, but she was too full of herself to reciprocate. I didn't care enough about Rosalie Hale to ruin her reputation as a sex goddess, so I let it slide. From then on, I resorted to college chicks, or whatever fine piece of ass in Forks was the next best thing. Most of the teachers here at Forks High couldn't keep their hands off me, so if they were hot enough, I'd have the occasional romp in the hay with them too so to speak. But for the most part, I was utterly and incessantly bored with the ass around this town.

I decided it was my mission to hook up with this Swan chick. She dismissed me today and that shit doesn't fly with Edward Cullen. Edward Cullen doesn't get _rejected_. That trucker hat didn't hurt her chances of being fucked senseless by me either. I'd never seen a girl pull off that look so expertly.

And I'll be damned if she comes close to threatening my GPA or birthright scholarship.

With that, I laid out a line of my special blend of pure white on my coffee table, grabbed a fifty, and snorted.


	2. Chapter 2

****

**BPOV**

That night I spoke to Rosalie about Edward Cullen, bringing him up as casually as possible.

"So, I hear I have some pretty fierce competition with this Roosevelt Scholarship thing," I said as I took a seat in her desk chair, straddling either side of the chair before slowly sitting down. Being around Rosalie was definitely making me more aware of behaviours that drove men wild, and I would need constant practice if I was going to distract Edward Cullen from winning the scholarship.

She eyed me curiously as I seduced the chair, and nodded her head in approval. "Nice, Bella, I'm glad to see my training isn't entirely going to waste." I didn't necessarily need Rosalie's training, but to get her in on my ingenious plan I would need the hottest girl in school as an accomplice. "Oh, and yah, Cullen is determined to win that thing," she said, looking at me through the reflection of her huge gilded mirror.

"I need you to help me win that Rosalie. I won't get into Harvard without it." I discovered, from experience, honesty was the best policy with Rose.

She turned around, coyly raising her eyebrow with a keen interest for my devious plan. "I'm listening."

"Ok, well Cullen is the most likely to win, but he can't. He doesn't even need the damn thing. Isn't he like, loaded?" I asked, and she nodded.

"The Cullens are the richest people in this friggin town, which is a difficult title to win if you get my drift. And it's not because of Carlisle alone. His mom was absolutely loaded from her own family money because she's some real estate heiress, and left him a fortune when she took off with some billionaire playboy to live in the South of France. He still gets monthly deposits in his trust fund from his absent mother. Plus Carlisle makes a small fortune as a doctor; he makes as much as my mom. So no, he definitely doesn't need, or _deserve_ that scholarship" Rosalie concluded.

"Well that is why I need to distract him, getting him utterly infatuated with some girl, like you for instance, and then take over his place as number one. I can't do it with my intelligence alone, because I get the feeling this guy plays dirty," I said, fidgeting with my nail.

Rosalie pondered this for a minute. "Bella, honey, if you need to know anything about Edward, know that he will not ever get distracted by some chick. He tried desperately through high school to sleep with me, because I had resisted for so long. I wanted him as badly as he wanted me, but he played it cool as if he wasn't interested. Finally I gave in, and he said I wasn't all I was hyped up to be. That was it," Rose said, shaking the memory out of her head. "Edward doesn't do relationships. And he definitely doesn't let chicks ruin his concentration. He's too fucking smart for that shit. And everyone wants him, so he doesn't even have to hesitate and there's ten girls kneeling down in front of him with their mouths open."

That visual made me nauseous. This guy had issues.

"And in case you forgot, I'm with McCarty, Edward's _best_ friend. I wouldn't get in between that shit. Bro's before ho's with those guys. But I hear ya on finding someone who can resist him long enough to keep him slightly preoccupied, and if you think that'll give you enough leverage then you'd have a good shot. I mean your grades are decent, yah?"

"Yah, I have a four-point-oh, but you know, that doesn't guarantee shit. It has to stand this year and it'll be hard since Cullen seems to have absolute control over all the teachers at Forks High."

Rosalie thought about this for a minute. Slowly, a smug grin formed on her perfectly glossed lips. "I think _you_, Miss Swan, might be the forbidden fruit that Cullen needs."

***

I consulted Alice's expertise in addition to Rosalie's to make sure that there wasn't another option before sacrificing myself on enemy lines.

"Cullen hates competition. He hates the fact that someone might be a threat, and he goes out of his way to crush them. He's never met his match in a chick before, and I have a feeling all that would take would be to ignore him and reject his advances..." Alice said as we sped down the highway in her yellow Porsche. I had a hard time accepting the fact that Mr and Mrs Brandon felt it entirely necessary to buy their daughter, a speed demon and highly distracted driver, a Porsche 911 Turbo. When I asked her about this, she said, "Safety comes first for my parents_." So buy a minivan_.

"If there's anything I know about my cousin –" Alice continued, and I nearly choked on my caramel macchiato.

"Your _cousin_?!" I exclaimed. I was plotting this devious plan on one of my best friend's cousins and she was willingly helping?

"Yah, my cousin, Cullen. Get with the program, Bella. And as I was saying, if there's one thing I know about Edward, he wants what's a) new and b) what he cannot have. He will meet his match in you. And it will hopefully take the smug bastard down a notch, he's certainly fucked over enough of my friends," Alice said, focusing back on the road.

I clearly had no choice in the matter. I had to capture Cullen's attention, seduce him, and fuck over his chance of getting this scholarship.

Alice and Rosalie willingly produced a game plan for me, and despite my doubts about the whole thing, I would give it my best shot. I certainly had reinforcements; I easily solicited the help of Jasper, who had become one of my closest friends, and Rosalie pulled Emmett into the plan. Although Emmett and Jasper were Edward's friends, they agreed that he needed his ego taken down a notch.

Alice agreed to help me with this because firstly she was super excited about this plan, and secondly, it gave her a chance to spend some of her trust fund on "doing good"; which, in her mind, was taking me to Seattle for the day and spending copious amounts of money on a make-over to jump start my plan.

"Men are entirely visual," Alice said, "Especially Cullen. With the right clothes, good makeup, and a couple subtle highlights, you're bound to drive him wild."

**APOV**

Bella was a cool chick; a little insecure though and man, she didn't realize what she had. She was pretty, in a really down to earth kind of way, but with the right outfit and a proper skincare regime, she would catch the attention of every guy in Forks.

And to be perfectly honest, I was secretly kind of worried about this. I mean, I had been at frickin' Forks High in Jasper Whitlock's art class for three, now four, consecutive years, and no matter how hard I dressed up, no matter how expertly I applied my makeup, no matter how precisely I strutted my perfectly enhanced boobs in his face when I'd grab a pencil from his side of the table, he never gave me a second glance. I mean we were frickin' art partners for the past two years and this year, he even _requested_ he have a different art partner. What a slap across my pretty little face.

And then Bella Swan comes to town and like a shiny new toy, everyone is in love with her. It's like there's something guys find appealing about her modesty and crap. Anyway, ever since Bella's been in town, Jasper has been ditching the group to hang out with just Bella alone. When I asked her about this, she claimed they just listened to old school records and played retro Mario Kart and shit, but I didn't buy it. Jasper wasn't blind. Bella was totally Jasper's style. He was all about being indie and weird, and I don't think he even had to plan it. All old school rock and roll with his perfectly mussed shaggy blonde hair and Ray Ban aviators – an original pair, from when they were cool before.

So I explain to Bella that we usually chill as a group, and she's all like "what do you mean, I have no idea what you're talking about." Right Bella Swan, as if I don't see what you're trying to pull. So of course when she brought up the opportunity of her preoccupying the time of my smug cousin Edward I didn't really have to hesitate; in fact I vehemently agreed.

I usually wasn't too keen on getting on the wrong side of my family, but jeez, Cullen needed to be knocked off his high horse. I wanted him to win the scholarship before, when I wasn't aware of his couple-grand-a-week cocaine addiction. I'd rather Bella win this and pursue her dream of becoming a feminist lawyer or whatever she was on about, than see Cullen win this and spend it all on blow.

I mean, yah, Edward wasn't dealt an easy hand; his mother (my aunt) Elizabeth Masen took off to live on a yacht somewhere out in the Mediterranean or something, leaving Edward with one hell of a trust fund. Hell, his nice little fund was continually topped up monthly. I mean, it's not as if I was roughing it or anything, but knowing that my father and Elizabeth shared the royalties of Masen Luxury Real Estate, I was aware of the nice _x_ million that was going into Edward's little fund annually. I would at least have to wait.

And even though I'm pretty sure Carlisle knew about his son's blow addiction, there wasn't exactly much he could do about it, since Edward was the sole beneficiary to his mom's estate. Elizabeth made the mistake of going totally MIA and leaving all these funds in her irresponsible, rebellious son's name. I curse that bitch.

So that is why I felt so inclined to help Bella. I mean, it's not like I needed or desired to strive to win that scholarship, so why shouldn't I help someone else try and win it? Daddy managed to get me an early acceptance to RISD for fashion design, and I heard through Bella that Jasper was going there too. Damn her for being my new reliable source on all things Jasper.

Rose and Emmett were probably going to do the Ivy League thing since that's what the Senator wants, and since Emmett's got scholarship offers for football, oh, and the fact that his dad was also loaded, meant he didn't need the money either. Rose did her part by sleeping with most of the male staff before she and Emmett got together, obtaining signed contracts from the teachers mid-blow job stating that they will maintain her 3.7 GPA, which would be good enough for some Ivy Leagues.

Now Cullen on the other hand had some serious aspirations for his cocky little self. He could do med school, law school, business school; I think his dad wanted him to do the med school thing, hence the internship at his hospital and all, but the sight of blood make Edward act all weird, like squeamish and crap, so I think he was going to go the Harvard MBA route. Maybe he'd take over William C. Masen & Co. Enterprises or some crap with his fancy business degree and ability to make everything he touches turn to gold. Even girls he fucked had an increased social status after he toyed with them. If Cullen touched a girl, it suddenly made her that much _more_ desired by every other guy in school. Pathetic.

"Bella, for Christ sakes, come out and show me that fucking outfit already!" That silly girl had been sitting in the dressing room for ten minutes, likely contemplating whether she would brave stepping out of the dressing room in that.

Slowly, she opened the dressing room door, and boy, did I do good.

Bella always had the whole bad girl rocker chic look down, so I played that up by tucking a pair of black skinny jeans in a pair of black distressed calf-length Frye boots, and contrasting that with a crisp loose white blouse splayed open across her chest, revealing just the right amount of cleavage against a mini vest that totally showed off her rockin bod.

"Lookin' good Swan," I commented, motioning for her to spin around so I could assess her derriere. She was actually pretty damn hot. And to my surprise, she was totally comfortable in what she wore.

"I'm likin this look," she said, checking herself out in the 3-way mirror.

This would definitely get a fucking rise out of every guy at Forks High, and in turn get a rise out of Edward, and hopefully in the process wouldn't result in Jasper jumping her bones.

She picked out a few more outfits from Guess, entirely without my help might I add; and then we sauntered over to Sephora, shopping bags slung over both of our shoulders.

After choosing the required makeup to effectively capture a smoky eye look I concluded that our work here was done.

**BPOV**

When I told Esme about the scholarship, she was thrilled that I set my ambitions so high. "You know, the Cullen boy has had his eye set on that scholarship since the ninth grade," she said, her eyes lighting up. "Dr Cullen is quite sure Edward is a shoe-in for it, and I'd be nice to see that smug kid brought down a notch. I mean, can you believe Carlisle used his connections to get Edward an internship at the hospital that is specifically reserved for Seattle U pre-meds?" she asked, clearly the question being rhetorical since it was common knowledge in Forks that Carlisle would give an arm and a leg to get Edward ahead.

"Yah, that's what I hear," I said, spearing a piece of mushroom ravioli with my fork. Amongst Esme's many talents, cooking was up there. It's really comical how far the apple fell from the tree with Rosalie.

"So although Edward is really quite brilliant," Esme continued thoughtfully, "I wouldn't put it past him to pull a couple tricks to make sure he wins." She carefully sliced a piece of ravioli, looking at me intently. "If I was you, and this comes from me as a member of the town aware of the Cullen's clout and not your responsible legal guardian, I wouldn't hesitate to get my hands a little dirty if you know what I mean."

Rosalie looked up from texting a message on her Blackberry and snickered. "Oh I think we have that covered, mother dearest," she said, getting up and putting her dishes in the sink.

"Great dinner Esme, and thanks for the advice" I flashed an appreciative smile and made my way upstairs to finish my English essay.

Esme was about the greatest guardian a teenage girl could ever ask for; because of her lengthy commute she was often gone as soon as we woke up and came home well after dinner and went straight to bed. When she did make it home before eight, she'd cook a fabulous meal and we would all sit down and eat together. She never pried and trusted us to take care of ourselves, and judging by how Rosalie turned out, was a little too lenient with the house rules. But nonetheless she provided a place for me to hang my hat and I was grateful for her taking me in and not sending me to Betty Hemming's Preparatory Academy like my mother suggested, had Esme not been up to the challenge of raising me.

For the most part the maid type nanny lady, Magda, took care of the household affairs and ensured we had a healthy meal on the table every night.

Despite the shitty ass situation I was in having just been orphaned, I tried not to let Esme see my vices such as swearing, smoking, drinking, and enjoying the occasional reefer, because she had enough on her hands with her demanding career. It was a don't ask, don't tell arrangement, much like it had been for Rosalie's entire life.

The next morning I felt it was absolutely necessary to sport my new attire to advance day one of the grand scheme.

I knew I had to flaunt what I had to get the attention of this Cullen prick, if that was even a possibility. I heard he fucked college girls since he was bored of the Forks crowd. How the hell could I compete with them? They were probably sex goddesses. And Megan Fox...? Need I say more?

Luckily nobody ever said anything about me having to sleep with Cullen. That is what kept me desirable to him; as soon as he had me I'd be yesterday's trash, so all I had to do was keep my objective of teasing him senseless and paying no interest to his advances. _Easy enough, right?_

I grabbed a ride to school with Alice this morning since Rose was busy "prepping" Emmett that morning for his big game; she was his personal cheerleader apparently, and I'm sure she got pretty creative with her moves and outfits.

I arrived at school and sauntered through the school linked arm in arm with Alice and I felt like a fucking supermodel. Everyone was moving aside, standing up against their lockers to let us pass through, their jaws dropping as we passed. Alice had to super-sluttify her outfit to grab Jasper's attention today, since she informed me on the ride in to school that she was threatened by my new sex bomb clothes.

"Beautiful ladies!" Jasper hollered from down the hall and jogged over to us. Jasper was such a cool fuckin kid. He didn't even have to try. I motioned toward his outfit; a vintage Rolling Stones concert tee and a pair of faded black jeans and a fucking plaid fedora, and a pair of Sennheiser headphones – he was clearly rocking out to some sick tunes as he swayed his head to either side. "Nice," I mouthed, referring to his style and giving him a thumbs-up.

"Whatcha listening to here, kid," I said, grabbing his headphones and putting them on my head.

"Bellaaaa!" Alice screeched, launching toward me to grab the headphones, "You're going to ruin your hair!!"

I shrugged my shoulders and let her intercept, assuming she was attending to her own personal agenda of Operation: Win Jasper's Heart. The two of them were utterly obsessed with one another, but Edward forbade Jasper from dating his cousin because of Jasper's extensive sexual past (fucking hypocrite, Cullen) and Alice wouldn't pursue Jazz because of his apparent disinterest in her.

We strolled through the halls, Jasper and Alice exiting at their art homeroom, and then me, alone and vulnerable again, braved the biology classroom.

Everyone's heads were directed toward me as I entered the room, and Edward looked around at all his peers, wondering what they were staring at. He was looking pretty damn fine today, but I had an objective to meet so I barely took notice of his clothing. I did however take notice of his jaw dropping as soon as he laid eyes on me.

_I had him right where I needed him_.


	3. Chapter 3

**EPOV**

_Wow_. Just _wow_.

That pretty much summed up Isabella Swan this bright and rather perky morning; my mood was foul because of the cocaine hangover I was fighting but my anatomy was proving to feel differently.

I strategically moved my textbook onto my crotch as Bella slowly straddled her lab stool beside me and slowly lowered herself onto it. She looked like she was reading to fuck the damn thing.

"You look... nice" I muttered, referring to the ripped tight black jeans, biker boots and boobs popping out of the sad excuse of a shirt she was wearing. The shirt was actually not a shirt, but one of those mini vests that chicks were wearing all the time – cept when most chicks wore them, they wore a fucking tank top or some shit underneath. Oh not Bella though; the vest hugged every curve of her beautiful body and skimmed over the top of her bellybutton, barely covering enough of her midriff to keep her from suspension or having to go to the office and put on one of those embarrassing school sweaters that the principal reserved for over-exposed girls (it was blasphemy, covering up a smokin hot body with a tacky forty-sizes-too-big baggy grey sweater). Oh and as I examined the top part of the vest – well that didn't exactly leave much to the imagination either. It was cut low enough to show the tops of her perky breasts popping out of the black lace bra that was ever so slightly exposed. That was definitely intentional, _fucking cock tease._

She smiled shyly at my comment and then bent over and _holy fuck_. As she bent over, I could see the top of her black matching lace thong peeping out over the top of her pants, displaying the sexiest little back dimples I've ever seen. She grabbed her textbook and sat back up, and I hoped to Jesus Christ the Saviour that she didn't have to pull anything else out of that backpack.

I couldn't even begin to recall anything else that was going on in the class because I was fucking out of it. The only thing I could focus on was the sexy ass girl beside me and the fact that she made a point of not looking me in the eye.

This fucking boggled my mind. I mean, what the hell kind of girl sits beside Edward motherfucking Cullen and doesn't look twice? I made it abundantly clear that I liked her outfit because despite my most perseverant attempts (and believe me, they were perseverant; I had a reputation to withhold, remember?) I couldn't take my eyes off this saucy sex bomb beside me.

The thing about Swan was even though she wasn't my conventional type (my conventional type was blonde hair, blue eyes; think Rosalie Hale); there was something about her that was just so goddamn sexy. Like the fact that she maybe didn't have to try to look hot as fuck and still did. She barely wore any makeup and didn't appear to do anything special with her hair, but still she looked a hell of a lot better than any other girl in the school that likely spends hours in their appearance every morning.

And she smelt so friggin incredible too – a mix of strawberries and something else I couldn't pin my finger on. When class was dismissed I could still smell that sweet scent lingering at the lab table and it took all my might to walk away from it.

At lunch I entered the cafeteria and noticed Bella sitting at our lunch table with Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Alice. As much as I wanted to avoid Bella in order to preserve my dick from another painful throbbing erection I would draw more attention to myself if I sat at a different table. I glanced over at Slutty Stanley's table and noticed she and Lauren Mallory were both flipping through some _Cosmo_ magazine or shit, likely looking for the next hottest ways to give head. I picked the better of the two evils and faced my demon; that fucking Bella Swan.

I sat down at the table between Jasper and Alice, earning an irate glare from Alice as I did so. _I wonder what the fuck her problem is_. She must be on her fucking rag. Gross. I shuddered at the thought.

"Hello Edward," Bella sneered at me, not looking up from the banana she was devouring. _You have got to be kidding me. A fucking banana? That shit just isn't even fair_.

I watched her out of the corned of my eye as she slowly wrapped her mouth around the circumference of the thick banana, sliding her mouth down the length of it, and then taking a sharp bite. My dick twitched at the sight.

She looked up at me through those thick dark eyelashes and I turned away, not wanting to envision the exact face she would be making if she was giving me head.

"So Cullen how's your schedule this term?" Emmett asked, totally oblivious to my discomfort at the table.

"Fine," I mumbled, quickly getting up from the table. "Jasper, smoke?" I said, nudging him on the shoulder a little harder than necessary, which was bro language for 'I don't give a fuck if you don't want a smoke but get the hell out of here with me, stat.'

It took him a sec but he eventually got the social cue and Emmett got up, anticipating joining us for our discussion when I shot him a glance. "No no big guy, you have a game tonight, no fucking smokes for you," I said, and Emmett groaned. Even though he had a near perfect scoring record, if he smoked he was huffing and puffing down the field and that shit just looked pathetic. It was for his own good.

Rosalie gave me that annoying as hell smug grin and I glanced at Alice who cocked her eyebrow at me, and with that I was out. They didn't need to know shit about this. As far as they were concerned, _Edward Cullen has no weaknesses_.

I hopped in my Volvo and Jasper followed suit, and I fucking sped the hell outta Forks. _Fast_.

"Cullen what the fuck has gotten in to you," Jasper said as soon as we hit the highway, knowing exactly what the hell had gotten in to me. Or not what had gotten in to me, but what I needed to get _into_ me and fucked hard and then out of my system for good – fuckin ASAP.

"Fucking Bella Swan, that cock tease" I said, steering with my knees as I grabbed my pack of smokes and lighter out of my Hugo Boss jacket pocket. I passed Jasper a smoke and lit up, passing him the lighter and rolling down the window. I took the steering wheel again and wondered just how much I should tell him, since he'd been spending an awful lot of time with Swan lately.

"What the fuck is Swan's deal?" I said, gripping the wheel so tightly my knuckles turned white. "What the fuck man. Who does she think she is, coming into _my_ town, _my_ fucking school and teasing the shit out of me like she doesn't want to suck my dick like every other girl in Forks," I said, watching the needle on the speedometer increase quickly.

"Whoa, Cullen, is _that_ what this is about? You wanting Bella Swan?" he asked, a little bit of fear in his tone, likely due to my erratic driving. "You know she's not like that. She's a cool fuckin' chick. I'm sure it's just the fact that she's living with Rose that she's getting all dressed up for school, right? I mean you gotta admit," he paused, relaxing a bit as he took a hit of his smoke, "She did look fucking mint. She's got this whole 'I just rolled outta bed and threw on the first things that I could find which happened to be a vest that wouldn't fit a four year old boy' look down to a tee."

I considered this. Perhaps Swan wasn't intentionally fucking with me, and maybe she was just trying to fit in to Forks society the best way she knew how, by following the model of Rosalie Hale. "Why the fuck is this chick bugging me so much, Jazz?" I asked, not quite sure why I just wanted to throw her on the bed and rape the fuck out of her. _Wow_. I'd never thought that way about a girl before. Sure I liked to _use_ chicks, but take _advantage_ of them? Take them down a notch? That wasn't my style. I guess I'd never encountered a chick who wouldn't willingly suck my cock before.

"So is this what it feels like to have a chick who doesn't like you? You oughta know, with Alice and all," I said smugly, knowing that it was exactly the opposite that Alice felt. She was fucking drooling over him since the ninth grade when they first had art together. But my best friend dating my cousin? Not cool. I couldn't take that shit knowing he was boning my innocent little... ah, who the fuck was I kidding? Al wasn't innocent. She likely fucked just as many guys as Jazz did girls.

He shot me an indignant glare and I took another hit of my smoke. "Just sayin" I said, raising my arms innocently.

"All you have to do is fuck Bella Swan. It shouldn't be that difficult for you, Cullen. And maybe that's all it'll take to get her out of your mind. Do you think you actually have a personal vendetta against the girl though?" he asked, wondering why exactly I was so infuriated about this whole situation.

"I think I just need to get her through my system. The nerve of her coming into town and threatening my shot at that fuckin Roosevelt –" Jasper cut me off and I realized that I'd said too much. _Fuck. I'd never hear the end of this_.

"Oh so that's what this whole fuckin thing is about" Jasper said, nodding his head, grinning like a retard. "Cullen's intimidated by the new girl's _intellect_" he said, enhancing the 'intellect' like a slap in the face. I'd never had anyone match my brains before, and I'll be damned if Swan thought she could. She was a fucking _chick_ for Christ's sake.

"Maybe I'm a little" I chose my words carefully, "_annoyed_ that she's the first girl that might pose somewhat of a challenge to me winning what is practically a Cullen birthright," I said vigilantly, not wanting Jasper to think I was afraid of a challenge. "I mean, she _will_ win points with the male faculty, and she's probably a pretty good suck up, which is what gets me every time."

Jasper nodded in agreement with my conclusion. "So it's easy then. Don't let her get in the way of your grades. Just keep up the school work and pay attention in class and don't let her affect you. Pretend like she's not even there. But don't expect me to do any scheming. I'm wiping my hands clean of this shit. Bella's a cool chick and I'll be damned if you want me to sacrifice her as a friend so you can win some scholarship you don't even need."

"I need it if I'm going to keep up the blow in college," I said smugly, and then shook my head and laughed. "Who am I kidding," I hit the pedal to the metal, grinning at the sound of the engine, "no I don't."

***

_Another day, another Swan outfit_, I thought as I pulled into Forks High. I took the Ducati today, playing up my "I don't give a shit attitude" to the max. I noticed both the beamer and the Porsche were here, which would mean that Swan would be here, which would mean I'd have to find a new way to hide my erection from her and the entire school. I took the back door and went straight to biology, glancing at my Rolex and realizing I was already ten minutes late. _Fuck_.

I walked into Bio, shot Molina a look that said 'fucking comment on my tardiness and forever work cleaning toilets,' and narrowed in on our lab table and saw Bella.

Let's just say Bella Swan didn't disappoint. I sat down quickly and awkwardly, like a motherfucking fourteen year old boy, and placed my textbook over my lap. She chuckled at me quietly and went back to reading _East of Eden_ that was tucked into her biology textbook. _Ooh, Rebel_.

And she looked like it too; she was wearing a practically see-through white blouse barely buttoned closed and tied in a knot baring her sexy-as-sin stomach again, faded jeans, those damn biker boots, and a fucking cropped leather motorcycle jacket, wide open, that barley skimmed her waist.

"You look like you need a ride," I said, trying to sound like the King of the Sack I am.

She blushed furiously and looked down; ignoring my comment like I'd said something vile.

"No really," I continued, disregarding Molina's glare at my loud whispering to Bella, "I brought my bike today and you look like you should be sitting on the back of it."

She rolled her eyes and looked at me with an evil smirk. "No thank you," she said, and went back to reading.

I couldn't fucking give up this easily. I grabbed the book out of her hands and held it up, reading a passage out of it. "_The wind whistled over the settlements in the afternoon, and the farmers began to set out mile-long windbreaks of eucalyptus to keep the plowed topsoil from blowing away. And this is about the way the Salinas Valley was when my grandfather brought his wife and settled in the foothills to the east of King City." _

"What is this shit?" I said, holding the book away from her as she reached over desperately trying to grab it.

"Give me that –" she grunted, and lightly punched me between the legs. _Damn, this girl plays dirty_.

My reflexes kicked in and I covered myself and she grabbed the book at me and stuck her tiny pink tongue out at me. Oh dear god_. That tongue_; I imagined what that little pink tongue would look like running up and down my big hardened shaft, and how amazing it would feel as she wrapped it around my cock...

"Cullen! I don't have the patience today for your puppy love, now you and Miss Swan get out of here. Go to the office or leave or _something_!" Molina shouted, and I shot him an annoyed glance but got up nonetheless because I couldn't friggin concentrate worth shit.

I sighed loudly, packed up my shit, shot Molina a warning glare, and left the classroom, trailing behind Swan and her fine ass.

**BPOV**

I could feel him walking behind me, and I whipped around, catching him hypnotized by my ass. He didn't bother readjusting his gaze.

"Hey idiot, I'm up here," I said, pointing at my face.

"That's nice Swan, but I can't help it – you just have such a _fine ass_," Edward said, not fazed by my comment in the least.

"Humph." I walked away, hoping that he would leave me alone. I mean first he gets me kicked out of class, and then he has the nerve to follow me down the hall making cocky remarks. I just wasn't in the mood for his bullshit today.

"Hey Swan, where are you off to in such a rush?" he asked, effortlessly keeping up with my hurried pace.

"I'm going to smoke a jay," I said flatly, "And then I'm going to do some fucking work since I was _kicked_ _out_ of first period."

I opened my locker, stuffed my laptop on the top shelf, grabbed my old ratty backpack, and slammed the door shut.

"Not without me you're not," he said, following me out to the yard.

"Oh yah, Cullen? And why would you suspect that?" I said, glaring daggers at him.

If I hadn't known of the infamous Edward Cullen any better, I'd say he was almost afraid of me.

"Because firstly, you're lucky I'm talking to you in the first place" he paused, not even noticing the offended look that was growing on my face "And second and more importantly might I add, I'm sure you're about to become a disgrace to cultured first-class stoners across the globe by smoking some local Forks crap that is probably equivalent to oregano from my grandma's kitchen. Very fortunately for you, my supplier dropped by town not too long ago and sold me some dope shit from off the coast of South Africa – the dopest shit that you can get your hands on, called Durban Poison."

I stopped walking to contemplate this possibility. He _was_ right – I did have a local variety of "hippie lettuce" in my backpack that I'd bought off some kid Jacob in the smoking pit yesterday, and it looked pretty sketch. Cullen's pot was sure to be the cream of the crop, crème de la crème variety of strong, authentic shit. Since I _was_ in a bad mood, and I _was_ having a bad day, and he _did_ have a very convincing grin on his hot-as-fuck face, I found it impossible to turn down his offer.

"Ya, what the hell," I said, and we walked out to the parking lot. I halted when I saw a motorcycle where his car was usually parked.

"Oh Bella, come on," he said, reacting to the horrified look on my face. "If you're gonna dress like a biker babe you have to at least try it once," he passed me his helmet and sat on the bike, sticking the keys in the ignition and turning it on.

I stared back and forth between him and the helmet. This was a stupid, stupid, stupid idea.

He looked at me impatiently and revved the engine. "Come on Swan," he taunted, "don't make me tell everyone that you're just one big _poser_. Whitlock would be very disappointed in you."

He had a point. Jasper was an awesome kid and somehow I earned his respect because I was such a 'rad chick' and 'a real badass'. More importantly, I didn't want to let Edward think I was afraid of _anything_. I slid the helmet on my head and hopped on the back of the bike, grabbing him tightly around his waist and holding on for dear life.

I'd honestly never been on a bike before, and I was a little embarrassed by the fact that he called me a poser. The first thing I thought of Edward when I saw him in his expensive leather motorcycle jacket today was 'what a poser' and I was instantly gratified by the fact that this little rich kid thought he could pull of badass.

Well then I saw the bike, and for a second, an ounce of respect was granted to him. _Just an ounce..._

We slowly inched out of the school parking lot, and I could tell he was going slowly at first to get me comfortable. I thought he was being considerate, until we hit the road and he instantly sped up, clicking gears every three seconds until we were going what I guessed to be a hundred miles an hour. I grabbed on tighter and peered over his shoulder at the speedo and we weren't far off from what I guessed; what felt like a hundred miles an hour was actually ninety. _Holy fuck_.

I squeezed onto him tighter and clenched my eyes shut every time we sped around a curve, hugging the corners tightly. I thought looking at the scenery on either side of me would ease the nerves but that actually made me ten times more nauseous. His hair was blowing in the wind in front of me and I could see his knuckles clench on the handlebars every time we took a sharp turn, and he expertly mastered it every time. I would have been quite impressed with the way he handled this thing if I hadn't been praying to Jesus Christ and all the Saints to save my dear life.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any scarier, he veered to the left and zipped down the winding road at top speeds. At this point we must have been a couple miles outside the town and I was a little worried as to where he was taking me... alone.

He slowly turned onto a paved driveway with an expensive looking wrought iron automatic gate and entered in a code. We drove down the long driveway and pulled up in front of one of the most breathtaking houses I've ever seen.

It was very, very large. It was a tall red brick mansion with lots of windows and appeared to be at least four storeys high. In front of the house were meticulously landscaped gardens and topiaries surrounding a large stone fountain. Judging by their home, I could tell the Cullens liked to make a statement.

I found it hard to believe that this... this _mansion_ was the location of so many of those famous Forks debaucheries I had so often heard about. Leading to the front door was a long stone walkway and as we approached a heavy wooden door with a large wrought iron handle, Edward turned to me.

"That, my dear Swan," Edward said, opening the heavy wooden door, "is what you call a Ducati eight-forty-eight."

_What?_

"Um, you have a nice place here, Cullen," I said, completely forgetting how we arrived at this beautiful mansion.

He smiled genuinely, "Thanks Swan. It's not bad. Plus, Emmett and Alice live just down the road."

"So this is where Forks hides the millionaires, eh?" I said, taking in the beautiful interior that looked like it just came out of a page of Luxury Homes and Gardens magazine.

"Yah, it's been in a couple magazines and it was used in a few movies," Edward said casually, shrugging his shoulders. "So, how 'bout that chronic?"

After grilling Edward on how his father, a doctor (albeit a very famous, very successful doctor) could afford this place, he told me the story of his wealthy heiress mother who inherited it from her parents who got it from their parents... and so on and so forth. Apparently it'd been in the Masen family for hundreds of years and Edward's mother requested it and then pissed off to Europe, leaving Carlisle a very fortunate man for having this great place.

We walked up what felt like a million stairs and passed random people (who I assumed were maids and the like) along the way.

"Don't you get lonely here all by yourself, Cullen?" I asked, wondering how on earth he and Carlisle maintained their sanity while living in such a humongous place.

"I have a lot of friends who like to chill here; McCarty practically lives here because his father's always out of town and your lovely cousin Rose usually accompanies him. He's actually got a key to the place because when he was young he actually stayed here full-time when his dad was away, which was every week pretty much. He's like a brother."

I wanted to ask about "Mrs" McCarty, but stopped myself and assumed that none of these kids had normal families. I guess with the exception of not being a millionaire, I fit right in.

"Plus, there's a lot of rooms and shit we don't even use. Like the ballroom and maid's quarters and shit. We only have one full-time maid and the others are just day staff or occasional, like groundskeepers and stuff."

_Huh_.

We finally reached his bedroom and I froze. This was a side of Edward Cullen I hadn't seen before. I had expected something completely different; I'm not quite sure what I expected to be honest, but it likely involved a lot of porn and signed female celeb posters from his various trysts.

But I was pleasantly surprised. The room was huge, of course, but surprisingly bright; the bed was larger than a king sized bed, and covered in neatly pressed navy blue bed sheets. It was placed in the centre of the room, positioned perfectly so that when you laid in it, you would be looking out in front of two ceiling-high French doors leading onto a large stone balcony that looked out to the beautiful scenery. On the right side of the room was a massive black leather couch in front of a huge state-of-the-art TV that was mounted against the wall like a painting. On the other side of the room was a large mahogany desk with a leather chair and an impressively oversized iMac. It was surprisingly sophisticated and running along the sides of the room were bookshelves full of books and expensive looking speakers leading to a central stereo system. I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped.

"Well your pile of bricks isn't bad either from what I've seen," he said, feeling a little awkward with my gawking.

"Yah, Esme's house is great. It's just not so... so old" I observed, referring to time-telling details like the intricately carved wood trim and polished wood floors.

"Hmm, I suppose it's the fact that it's a heritage home that makes it so impressive. Things just aren't made the way they used to be made in real estate," he said as he began expertly rolling a joint on his glass coffee table. I looked across the table and noticed a vast array of other drug paraphernalia including rolled up fifty dollar bills, pill containers, and several glass slides like the ones we used in biology. I assumed he wasn't just into pot.

"You're not into that hard shit, are you Swan?" he said looking me straight in the eye, then back to furrowing his eyebrows at the task of rolling the joint.

"Um, no, not really," I said, looking down and hoping that he wasn't going to press me to start snorting coke with him.

"Good –I don't ever wanna hear that you've gotten into that shit. I'd just have to kick the son of a bitch who dared to sell it to you."

_That was remotely sweet, in a fucked up kind of way_, I thought.

He motioned for me to sit on the couch beside him while he finished rolling the joint and I couldn't help but stare as he slowly licked along the rolling paper, sealing it closed.

"Come on," he said, getting up and padding down his jacket in search of a lighter, "We'll blaze on the balcony."

He balanced the joint in his mouth as he swung open the two large French doors and walked to the edge of the balcony, placing his hands on the edge of the railing.

He looked over at me as he lit the joint, and took a deep long hit, holding the smoke for a minute and then looking serene and suddenly relieved as he slowly exhaled.

"This is some good shit," he confirmed, passing me the joint.

I carefully took it from his hand and brushed his fingers accidentally in the process, and he grinned; I wasn't sure if he was grinning at my slight flinch from the touch of his hand, or the fact that he was really enjoying the pot.

As I took a hit I could taste the faintest hint of what his lips must have tasted like on the end of the joint; I closed my eyes and imagined that taste transferring onto my lips in a kiss...

I stopped myself from that blissful thought.

_NO Bella!_ I mentally slapped myself across the face. _Bad! _

I opened my eyes quickly and thankfully he was enjoying the scenery of the forest that extended beyond the edge of their huge property and didn't notice me savouring his taste off the joint.

"Great view, eh Swan?" he said, looking more down my shirt than anywhere else. It made my heart skip a beat.

"Yah, it's so beautiful here."

I imagined how many previous girls he must have brought out here on the balcony with hopes of getting in their pants, and how quickly they would strip off their clothes and throw themselves at him because he's Edward _fucking_ Cullen.

"You know Edward," I said tentatively, making a point to look away from his gorgeous topaz eyes that were clouding over from the high, looking even more smouldering than I imagined possible, "Just cause I take a couple tokes with you doesn't mean I hate you any less, right?"

He paused and then looked at me, a smug grin forming on his perfect lips.

"You keep telling that to yourself Swan," he said knowingly, flicking a bit of ash over the edge of the balcony.

I couldn't look away from his perfect eyes and was starting to believe that I might actually have feelings for him when a loud persistent beeping came from his bedroom, disrupting my thoughts.

Edward sauntered over to a small speaker near his door and pressed a button.

"Yes Aro," he spoke in to the speaker, "Tell me something good."

"There's a Miss Denali here for you Mr Cullen," a man with a thick Italian accent said through the speaker.

"Very good Aro!" Edward exclaimed, looking at me with a smug grin on his face, "Send her right up. Oh, and please drive Miss Swan home right away."

I took that as my cue to leave and grabbed my jacket off the expensive looking leather couch, but not before noticing a simple wooden picture frame on his desk with a black and white photo of a beautiful woman who I guessed was his mother.

She had shoulder length wavy auburn hair that framed her delicate square shaped face and creamy skin contrasting against lush red lips, and the most expressive brown eyes. She possessed the same elegance of a 1940's movie star.

I looked over at Edward and saw enough resemblance to know that was his mother.

He was looking in the mirror, mussing his hair and when he was satisfied, opened the door for me to leave.

"See ya later Swan" he said, practically pushing me out the door.

I wondered who the hell was so friggin important as I sulked down the huge staircase, and then I saw _her_.

A stunning strawberry blonde with luscious lips and a sensual body with a flawless complexion sauntered past me up the staircase, not even acknowledging me on her way up. She wore a tight beige low v-neck shirt that accentuated the most perfect pair of breasts I'd ever seen, and a pair of low rise jeans that exposed her perfect hips; to top it all off, she wore a pair of calf-high stiletto boots that elongated her already long legs. She strongly resembled Scarlett Johansson, except this bombshell was hotter, and I didn't have to think twice about what she was here for.

_Fuckin Cullen gave me the boot_.

A formally dressed elderly man stood at the bottom of the steps near the front door with his hands folded and extended his hand to shake mine when I approached him.

"I'm Aro, and I'll be driving you home" said the same Italian man I'd heard before over the intercom.

"No. Take me to Jasper Whitlock's," I demanded, and he dutifully did as I requested.

We arrived at Jasper's gated community and pulled up to his house, which wasn't old school royalty like Edward's, but it was definitely a very nice place. It was fairly big; surrounded by trees and mounted at the top of a big hill at the edge of the subdivision on an isolated cul-de-sac, the only one at this height. It overlooked the other homes which were situated in something of a valley. Structurally it was assembled in three rectangular sectionals, sort of placed haphazardly above each other; the bottom was black stone of some sort as was the top, and the centre was wood panelled. The main floor had a one car garage attached to it and an entryway and a big open room with a shiny black baby grand piano. The second floor was very open and very bright, surrounded by tall, modern windows. Upstairs was very much the same; the house was decorated very modern with various pieces of modern sculpture and contemporary art.

I walked straight into Jasper's house without knocking on the door since I noticed his mom's Acura SUV was gone from where it was usually parked on the driveway.

His bedroom door was open and I noticed him sitting with his back facing me, strumming on his guitar.

"Jazz," I said, and he nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Knock much, Bella?" He teased, not caring in the least about my breaking and entering. He peered out the window in front of him and saw Aro driving off in his black Lincoln MKS, which was the car the Cullens provided him to drive.

"Ya, whatever, your mom's car was gone so I figured I'd walk in and you'd be chilling" I looked around his room and it was disastrously messy as usual; "Just like you are," I added.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," Jasper said examining my face, then setting his guitar aside and getting up off the bed. "If I didn't know you better I'd say you look like something bad happened. But I do know you, which is why I'm going to say this as a friend – you look like shit."

_Thanks, Jasper. _At least I could merit him on his honesty.

And I knew I probably didn't look great because I had been fighting back tears since I'd left Edward's house and I was frustrated beyond belief as to why I even gave a shit about that arrogant prick.

He came over and embraced me in a comforting hug, and I hugged him back, holding him tightly and enjoying being held by someone who cared about me. Jasper was the most soothing person and could always relax me, no matter what my mood was.

"Plus you reek like weed," Jasper said, stepping back and fanning his nose, "were you blazing without me?" Jasper asked, looking mildly offended.

"Ya I was at Cullen's because that fucktard got us kicked out of biology. He fucking _steals_ my book that I was secretly reading in class to pass the time and waves it around reading out embarrassing passages and gets us kicked out by Molina. Then he felt bad and we went to smoke a jay at his place."

Jasper looked at me, blinking and shaking his head in disbelief. "Cullen doesn't feel bad about _shit_. The guy's got no reservations. The only reason he brought you to his house is because he likely wanted to fuck you senseless," he said, expertly assessing the situation at hand.

"Well Jazz I would have thought as much, until I saw some fucking slut supermodel whore bust in the house and then he kicks me out," I said, lowering my head in defeat. "Not like I fucking care, but I mean I felt like I was there for his entertainment and then when someone better comes along, he kicks me out."

"Congratulations, you've met the _real_ Edward Cullen," Jasper said, not shocked with my account of what happened. He came toward me and hugged me again, gently stroking my hair. "Poor Bella got kicked out by fucking slut supermodel whore," he said trying to soothe me, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I love you man," I said squeezing him tightly again, digging my nose in his shirt and sniffing the fresh, comforting scent of Jasper – a mix of laundry detergent and sandalwood soap.

"Ya, ya, I love you too kiddo," he said, pulling me away from his favourite shirt, "Don't get muck on my shirt." He sat down on his bed again and I took a seat at his desk chair.

Jasper's bedroom was a stark contrast from Edward's place; Jasper's loft was big and open, with a comfy blue futon in the corner as opposed to Edward's modern and stiff leather divan; a beanbag chair where he played his guitar, a wide and low to the ground bed placed in the centre of the room, a mid-sized LCD TV and band posters splayed across every inch of free wall space. Edward's room was stiff and rigid and snooty and Jasper's was comfy and bright and just... _awesome_. Not to mention it had a sick view of the forest whereas Edward's view was just some stupid tennis courts and swimming pool centered amongst lots and lots of meticulously trimmed grass. Touché.

Jasper turned on his stereo, the distinct sounds of Jack Johnson's strumming guitar emitting from the speakers, and grabbed two Heinekens from his mini fridge and cracked them open.

"You need to chill" Jasper said as he took a seat on the beanbag chair and kicking his feet up on a case of empties "and there are a couple things I'll let you know about my good friend Cullen," Jasper said, passing me a beer.

"Ah, Cullen," I said, pronouncing his last name venomously.

"Cullen." Jasper repeated, with as much distaste as me.

I loved Jasper. And I was sick of Alice's and Jasper's dancing around each other. I thought I might as well let Jazz in on the big secret that everyone else knew about anyway.

"Before we get going on Cullen," I said, repeating his name even more awful than before, "You have to know a few things about his cousin, _Brandon_."

A puzzled expression grew on Jazz's face and he cocked an eyebrow. "Now this... _this_ I wanna hear," he said, smiling at me.

I crossed my legs and contemplated how to approach this. Would I just tell him he's an idiot for not realizing her advances for the past four years, or the fact that his advances were hardly advances that came across as awkward and cold more than anything, or would I take a more delicate approach?

"Jasper Whitlock," I began, voice strong, the grin on my face rapidly expanding. The thought of making Jasper happy and telling him the best news he'd likely heard his whole life was very exciting. "Are you fucking retarded?! Alice Brandon has been obsessing over you since the ninth fucking grade and you two need to be locked in a closet so you can take out all that sexual tension you have for each other already!" I exclaimed, monitoring his expression.

He looked like a fucking kid on Christmas day. His eyes were bright and he was absolutely beaming.

"Alice? And _ME_?" he asked incredulously, not sure whether to believe it or not.

"Yes Jasper, you _tool_. Now you know. And now you can start... _courting_ her if you will, like the fine lady she is and get on with it already. You belong together. She denies it to us, she denies it to herself even, and it's just so painfully obvious. I know, Rose, Emmett and Cullen know, and apparently they thought it was more amusing to play oblivious to it all but that's just fuckin _cruel_."

Jasper sat quietly for a minute, and then looked up at me, his smile dropping quickly from his face.

"Cullen won't let me date Alice," he said shyly, admitting defeat.

"What? Cullen won't what?!" I exclaimed, totally taken aback that the creep was delirious enough to believe he had authority to decide something like that. He couldn't fucking fight fate like that.

"Cullen is protective of her and thinks I'm no good for her" he concluded, shrugging it off as if it were inevitable. "It's not gonna happen, rock star."

"You better check if your balls are still there, Jasper," I said crudely, taking a sharp jab at his masculinity. "Cullen's here fucking up _my_ life, _your_ life, _everyone's_ fucking life. It's time you stand up and tell him to fuck himself."

"I do, I do," Jasper insisted, "but it's different with Alice. She deserves only the best and what if he's right – what if I can't give that to her."

I pondered this and knew that with Cullen, it was definitely more malicious than that.

"I would say that's for Alice to decide." I concluded. He considered this, and nodded in agreement.

End of discussion.


	4. Chapter 4

***

**BPOV**

During Jasper and my chill sesh, he concluded that I need to take off my gloves and get dirty with Cullen. Dressing like a fox and bending over, baring my thong in his face wasn't going to be enough to fuck him over. It was already mid October and time was running out.

"You need to make Cullen feel like a pussy," Jasper said. "He's gotta know that not only are you rejecting him, but you're rejecting him and seeing another man... or men even. That will rip his balls off. I hate to see him go through this, but he _does_ need to be taken down a notch."

To win the scholarship I had to tempt him to the point where he was distracted in class by wearing next to nothing, flirting mercilessly in front of him with other guys, sleeping with another guy to threaten his confidence and cockiness, and then eventually crush him. If that didn't work, well then at least I did my best.

On top of all this, I had to get a part time job because my account was draining on all these vices I was partaking in (even though Jasper usually accompanied and insisted on funding our beer swigging, pot smoking "chill sesh's" I was still flat broke) and the scary reality that I might not win this scholarship meant I would need to start saving money for college. Esme would surely help me with money, but I wanted to pay for as much as I possibly could and that is why I would begin working at Starbucks every Thursday weekly.

So hooray – today was Thursday, which meant unlike any other kid in my social circle (or most of Forks High for that matter) I was gearing up in my black Starbucks t-shirt, pair of old denim jeans, and tacky green apron and going to work.

Luckily I was working in the south end of Forks which was far enough away from the high school that I wouldn't be bumping in to too many rich kids from school. Not that I cared, of course – I could swallow my pride easily – I just didn't want certain people humiliating me at work.

I got to work five minutes early (after having shown up five minutes late for my first shift last week I needed to make a better impression) and clocked in and took my place at the front cash.

Working at Starbucks went by fast enough usually; today I barely noticed the time and there was a constant line-up which made the shift go by so much faster than usual. I was working a three to ten shift which met the rush of people coming home from work and they usually left good tips so I happily plodded along. I took a second to glance at the clock and it was already eight thirty. Things were going just wonderfully – until I saw a shiny and perfect mop of bronze hair in the line of people, about four customers behind the person I was currently ringing in.

"Miss, did you hear what I just said?" The blonde haired middle-aged, overly botoxed woman standing in front of me asked rudely.

I nearly choked when I noticed that wayward mop as Edward Cullen's. He hadn't noticed me – _yet_ – which was a good thing, and I could hopefully sneak out for a smoke break before he ordered and come back after he left.

I glanced over at my supervisor who was frantically reloading the espresso machines and I gave her a pleading look trying to indicate that I needed a break and she shook her head in fervent disagreement, mouthing 'hell no!' behind the counter.

_Fuck_.

To top it off, I hadn't heard a word this persistent bitch was saying in front of me.

"MADAM!" She shrieked, causing an unnecessary scene. "MAH-DEM! Did you hear what I said, for the fifth _fucking_ time?!" To top it off, her fake British accent made me cringe.

I blushed furiously and repeatedly apologized, giving her the best smile (which probably came out more like a paradoxical pleading wince) I could fathom given the circumstances and she rolled her eyes.

"Well go on already," she said, calming down a bit, probably feeling sorry for me; she likely assumed I was a spastic mess.

I rang in her espresso macchiato or whatever the hell she ordered and noticed the name on the credit card she practically threw at me; _Stanley_, it read. _Figures_.

She tapped her long acrylic nails on the bar as she waited for her beverage. After her little scene a few of my patrons had left the store, probably getting fed up and driving their gas-guzzling SUV's to an alternate location.

I looked up, dreading to see my next persistent customer and saw _him_, with _that_ _slut_, standing there with a shit eating grin on his face.

"Ah, Isabella Swan," he said haughtily, gesturing toward that strawberry blonde pinup, "Please Tanya, go ahead. I'm just going to _check out_ the menu, there are just too many _options_." Fuck, he was going to make my already stressful job even more trying.

She didn't seem to notice his innuendos, nor did she recognize me from the other day. She wore a tight white tee that clearly showcased what were most definitely breast implants (and good ones, at that) and a pair of hip hugging skinny jeans. She barely looked at me as she ordered. "I will have a triple Grande, one-pump sugar-free hazelnut non-fat latte, extra wet," she said affluently, boredom dripping off her perfectly glossed pink lips as I stood there dumbfounded, like a fool. My manager had told me there were a few pretentious people who showed up ordering crazy shit like that, but I'd never actually had to ring it in before.

I was clearly frozen and the girl, _Tanya_, shot daggers at me. "Hello? Did you get that?" she asked curtly, waving her arms and gesturing wildly as she spoke. She had expensive jewellery on (a diamond channel set band, Tiffany's necklace and earrings) and I guessed most of it was from Edward.

I looked over at him who was just furrowing his brows as he read over the menu on the board above him, chuckling to himself and he actually had to cover it up as a cough. This then turned out to be a coughing fit because he was laughing so hard.

I glared at him and rolled my eyes, utterly irritated with the fact that he found this so amusing.

"Ok, are you completely retarded?" Tanya snapped, slapping her hands down in front of me on the table leaning in so she was right in my face. "Triple. Grande. One-pump. Sugar-free hazelnut. _Non-fat_ latte," she said, spelling it out like I was four years old. "Extra wet," she said, turning to Edward and licking her lips, heavily insinuating something sexual to him. He wrapped his strong, gorgeous arm around her delicate shoulder, his hand strategically resting right above her boob.

I rang her order in and carefully wrote all that down on the cup, using the incorrect codes from the ones I was taught because that's just how friggin nervous I was. It looked like an alphabet scrawled across the side of the cup in my ugly chicken-scratch writing. _TGOPSFHNFL. Shit. That can't be right. _

_Whatever._

"For you, _sir_?" I asked, not looking up from the cash.

_Be cool, be cool, be cool Bella_.

"Miss, can you please explain to me the difference between a _dry_ and an _extra-wet_ latte, like Tanya here ordered?" He asked, stroking his chin mocking an interest that was clearly not there.

For some reason, the way he said _'extra-wet'_ did very strange things to my body.

"Um, well," I began, clearing my throat, continuing to turn what I imagined to now be a scarlet shade of red. "Wet means less foam... I think?" I said tentatively, not quite sure what the hell the difference actually was. I fumbled around under the counter to find my training manual but he spoke up before I could find it.

"Well then, that changes _everything_," he said, testing each and every one of my last nerves. My manager glanced over at me, wondering what the hell was taking long with the orders, as if _I_ was doing something wrong. I just shrugged my shoulders at her and she went back to happily stocking the shelves.

"Grande latte," Edward concluded firmly.

_As if it took him that long to decide on that_.

"That's Mr Cullen's usual," my manager Mindy called out at me, popping up from behind the counter at the back and waving excitedly over at Edward.

I rolled my eyes and rang it through.

"That's eight seventy-four."

"Whoa, you're _kidding_ me!" Edward said, jumping back comically and being sarcastic as _hell_.

"Yep," I said and grabbed the black credit card he handed to me, "Visa?" I said, not giving a shit what it was.

"Am-Ex _black_ baby," he said pretentiously, emphasizing the black. I guessed the black meant it was something significant.

He scribbled his signature across the receipt and winked at me as he handed me the pen.

"See ya around, Swan."

_Fucking. Asshole. Didn't. Even. Tip._

****

_A couple weeks later... _

**EPOV**

Tanya was in town... _again _for the week which put a serious damper on my annoying-the-hell out of Bella plans, but I was fortunate enough to get a whole hour and fifteen minutes to taunt her in biology every morning.

She'd come waltzing in wearing something that was sinfully adorable and hot and _holy fuck_ causing me a huge throbbing erection every single day and I'd just pretend like I didn't even notice her. Sometimes I'd ogle her a bit just to give her the brief satisfaction that she was catching my attention, and _damn_ she was, but if I was going to play along with her little games (and she was just to friggin cute not to) I had to pretend she wasn't anything special and that her novelty dissipated (and when I did the latter I had to run home on lunch and have a cold fucking shower and jack off so I could _focus_ for the rest of the day).

Yesterday, for instance, she fuckin drove me insane. She strolls on in to bio wearing something relatively conservative compared to how she was recently dressing; a white tank top showing a bit of cleavage (just enough to get me going with the fantasies), a grey cardigan of sorts and tight, low-rise jeans, with her Birkenstocks (this girl had weird taste in shoes; biker boots one day, Chuck Taylor's the next, and then Birki's subsequently – and here I was under the impression that girls only wore UGGs to school). So I was a little relaxed and at ease knowing I wouldn't have to tuck my dick in my waistband today. Well I was wrong. It wasn't what she was wearing that got me going, as much as what she did. She sat beside me, flirting with fuckin _Mike Newton_ the whole class.

Now if anyone knows Newton, they know he's a total dickweed. He usually gets my sloppy seconds – if he's even that lucky. To be perfectly honest, Newton takes whoever Jazz, the former single bachelor Emmett, and I don't want anymore. So once a girl's fucked her way around our social circle, she'll resort to the next best thing – stuffy Newton.

Now usually I take first grabs on a chick because, well, that's just how I roll. And I'm always the first pick, and then they go to either Jazz or McCarty, neither of whom are sloppy seconds because we're like brothers and if a chick's good enough to fuck Jazz or McCarty, chances are they've already fucked me.

Let me make this abundantly clear. Newton never beats his way into a fucking a chick before me unless she's seriously deformed or something, in which case I won't touch her.

So Bella, in usual Bella fashion, is fucking around with the way this school works in more ways than one. Firstly, she threatens my chance at a scholarship that is absolutely my birthright and everyone else knows that I'm gonna get it so they back the fuck up. Not Bella.

Secondly, the school knows that nobody sits at the lunch table unless you are a Cullen, Whitlock, McCarty, Brandon or Hale. Not Bella – she 'expanded' our parameters to include the Swan. If we let her in, we might as well ditch being exclusive altogether because five works out much better than six.

Thirdly, everyone knows the rules about me getting the fucking rights first, then Jazz, McCarty, etc. Well not Bella. And it was unfortunate that she had to test her authority with creating new school conduct, but also it was also Newton's fault for knowing that he shouldn't be a fucking retard testing his luck against me, Jazz and McCarty.

So here I am, just minding my own business, working away on bio and talking to Stanley and Mallory about their panties on msn when Bella starts sending this ridiculous messages to Newton via Facebook private messaging. And he totally plays along; practically cyber fucking Bella right in front of me, and then he turns around and has the balls to talk to her in class, disrupting my attention and focus.

Bella's all sitting there, looking hot as fuck, twirling her hair and leaning over his desk to "help him with questions" which for some reason Molina approved of, and basically what she's doing is pushing her cleavage in his face. I just about had enough of Bella exploiting herself to this douche bag when he grabs her fucking ass, and squeezes it.

And she completely provoked it, one hundred percent. She says, "Ohh Newton," in the sweetest most innocent voice she could pull, "I've been doing yoga after school with Rose. Can you tell?" So he turns around, gives me this "fuck-you-Cullen" shit eating grin, and slowly reaches over and squeezes her ass – not once, not twice, but like five fucking times over and over and then says, "Yeah Bella, I'd say it feels pretty damn nice." And then the fucker turns around and says, "What do you think of Bella's ass, Cullen? Oh that's right, you wouldn't know."

All I can do is chant "_don't_ _kill Newton, don't kill Newton, don't kill Newton, he's not worth it_," in my head over and over and I'm about to explode so for the first time in a long time, I run to the bathroom and shoot a line of coke right there on the nasty ass bathroom sink.

Then at lunch, my table's conversation goes as such (or as best I can recall – keep in mind I was coked out of my mind at this point):

Rosalie: Hi everyone, I'm Rosalie Hale, I have perfect tits. I'm hot shit. Oh that's right, everyone already knows that.

Emmett: Roids, roids, should I do roids? I think I reached my maximum plateau, man. Cullen what does your dad know about roids?

Alice: Jasper fuck me Jasper fuck me Jasper fuck me

Jasper: Alice we need to stock up on art supplies in the art room supply closet

Cullen: What the fuck guys, I'm fucking high as fuck, where the fuck did that skank Bella go?

Simultaneous defense of Bella commences, "she's a cool fuckin chick... leave her alone... just trying to do her own thing..."

Rose: I heard Bella's out back blowing Newton

I hightailed the hell out of there, high on coke and down on life, and sat in my room scheming on how to make Bella Swan miserable for disgracing me by overtly rejecting me for that Newton assfucker.

I grabbed a piece of paper and started scribbling out music notes across the page, storming up a beautiful symphony and tapping my foot against the hardwood floor anticipating the marriage of these completely contrasting notes. I threw the paper aside and my thoughts were pulsing through my brain a million miles a second. My mind was wandering like crazy.

Bella Bella Bella.

Tanya Tanya Tanya.

I couldn't avoid either of them in this nightmarish blur of my cocaine high.

I ran over to my bathroom, tripping on the Persian rug on the way, and stared at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were red and glazed over. I blinked ten times _this fucking fast_ and splashed cold water across my pale sullen face.

I thought about Bella and what she would be like giving Newton head. He was apparently had a flaccid and small dick.

Poor Bella.

Shouldn't have chosen to fuck with Cullen.

This thunderstorm of thoughts got me thinking about Tanya (who was desperate for my cock like you wouldn't believe, because unlike any other college guy she's fucked, I could make a girl cum in five seconds flat – or less – and guaranteed multiples) and how I could better put her to use.

I was slowly coming down from my high and things were scarily serene.

The one good thing about having Tanya in town (my smokin' hot college on-and-off-whenever-I-feel-like-it girlfriend sorta deal) was well obviously we had a lot of sex, but also I could use her to get to Bella and make her feel that her futile little attempts at making me all hot and bothered were all really going to waste. Like the Starbucks charade a few weeks back...

Although I had Tanya, whom I'm pretty sure every guy including Emmett would give up girls and virgins for life to just fuck once, there was just _something_ about Bella that keep me intrigued a lot longer than I should have been. Sure she was just another hot babe, but the fact that she wasn't quite sure about that made her seem innocent, and sweet, which fuckin always got me going. I had to work extra hard most days to not just throw her down on the desk and fuck her senseless until she was screaming my name at the top of her lungs, tiny fists grabbing my hair, my hands running up and down those perky perfect boobs, sexy tight stomach, soft rolling hips...

_FUCK CULLEN! FOCUS!_

I went over to my mahogany desk and turned over the black and white framed photo of my mom; 'you don't need to see this mom,' and crushed up some blue and white and one green pill for a questionably lethal drug cocktail and snorted. _Good thing my dad's a doctor..._

Bella, Bella, Bella Swan. Her name rolled off the end of my tongue even smoother when I was high as a kite on god knows what. The ensuing days of the Newton incident I went out of my way to ignore Bella and treat her like crap if she dared to talk to me.

It's not like she didn't deserve my persistent lack of cooperation. She was a conniving one that Bella Swan. I'll give her that much.

Of all the people in the world, and all the girls I'd ever fucked, only _Jasper_ ever knew about my little good-girl gone bad cheerleader fetish – with pigtails. I'd told him about that once when we were getting all deep and shit about what turned us on about certain chicks and I admitted I was yet to find that one girl that was so pure and innocent but tried to be badass and could almost pull it off... that fine line between good girl gone bad like that fucking Grease chick with the blonde hair and those tight pants... _ya I've seen Grease, so fuckin' what? _

So Bella rolls into school one day last week, dropping the whole bad girl biker chick which was already pretty damn close to my fantasy (and I was about to make do with it because it was _that_ fucking close) and she's flawlessly embodying my fantasy to a _fuckin tee. _

Infact, she achieved it even better than I could ever fantasize.

She saunters into bio wearing her hair in loose braided pigtails – holy fuck they suit her too – and they fall right between this _fucking soccer jersey_ of Jasper's from when were like, ten years old or some shit (and I was a little taken aback because I was like, dude, is Alice cool with that shit? but whatever, it was fucking hot as hell) and the red jersey is straining to fit tightly across her boobs and _whoops_ a bit of cleavage is peeking out the low v-neck top of it. Her sexy as sin flat stomach is showing again and she's wearing this short little pleated skirt that barely skims over her fine ass, forming against the contours of it, and shows off her amazing creamy thighs and she's wearing her fucking red Chuck Taylor's which I wouldn't have guessed could top off this look so perfectly. I imagined stiletto heels or some crap in my fantasies but I guess these are just so much more _innocent_ and _hot_ and _real_. Wow. And her makeup's all done right –all smudgy and shit and she's got these long flirty lashes and every time she blinks it makes my dick twitch.

So she walks over to our lab table, swaying her ass like a pro, and everyone's jaws drop and Molina – that old fuckin perv – is all like "so Bella, you plan to do some cheerleading today for us?" and she fucking blushes furiously, but holds her shit together and fucking _bats her lashes_ at him and goes, "I'm hoping to do some cheerleading for someone tonight at the big homecoming game" and I'm just like _holy fuck is this even real_. Wake me up because I must be dreaming – no scratch that – I don't _ever_ wanna wake up from this fantasy.

Me being the horny bastard I am can't keep my shit together and I just pack my shit up and leave – running the fuck out of there like a bat out of hell, not saying a word to anyone about it.

At lunch I go to my lunch table and everyone's there cept for Bella, and I'm instantly thankful because I'm like "thank god I can finally settle my dick down a bit" and as _soon as I sit down_ I see her walking over holding her lunch tray with a fucking _banana_ and glass of _milk_. Of course everyone in the caf is staring at her because she's earned a reputation as being equally hot shit as Alice and Rose in the school (no, I'm not saying my cousin is hot shit, I'm saying that she is considered to be hot shit by my fellow upperclassmen) and she's earned this rightfully so. But what's hotter than hell is she's still a bit uncomfortable with being considered so sexy by everyone and she nearly fucking trips with her tray on her way over and she just shrugs it off not really caring but a slight shade of pink reaching her cheeks which is just so irresistible. So I'm sitting here, uncomfortable as hell because my erection's saluting me again, the flagpole has risen, so I have to pull my dick up and fold it under my waistband subtly which is uncomfortable as hell but it works, so whatever.

And as if she couldn't get me going anymore, Jasper flips the chair around so she can do her fucking straddling thing again and she slowly – ever so slowly – lowers herself down on the chair and I can imagine that her panties are peeping out behind the chair because her skirt is just too short to cover them and I run over to her and turn her chair around so it's facing properly again and throw my jacket on her lap to cover up her legs.

She looks a little taken aback by my moving her chair around like that and Jasper just laughs to himself. He and Alice were looking cosier today than usual which is good – I was pretty sure they were holding hands under the table but I couldn't see so I couldn't be sure. And for some reason this doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would because they are both beaming and smiling at each other like they've just won the fucking lottery of life and seeing them so happy makes me happy. Despite how clichéd that sounds, it's damn true.

So Bella goes on to eat her banana all seductively and then when she's drinking her milk a bit of it spills on her lip she just lets it linger there for a minute and it looks so delicious as she slowly licks it off and nervously bites her lip a little bit when she realizes me staring – and probably drooling – at the sight of her drinking milk.

The six of us plus Tanya (oh fuck I almost forgot that Tanya was here again) had plans to go to Emmett's homecoming game tonight and get drunk at Jazz's place before as usual but our plans fall apart when Emmett says he needs to 'concentrate' before the game which, I've learned by now, means fuck Rosalie hard and good while holding himself back from finishing so that he can take out all the pent-up tension on the unsuspecting opponents.

Coincidentally, when their plans change, Alice and Jasper also both have to do some, and I quote, 'art stuff' before the game, which I suspect means throwing themselves all over a big glob of paint and rolling around on the canvas making one grand masterpiece. Good god that is disturbing.

So here I am left with Bella and Tanya before the homecoming game, and all I can think of is having a threesome. But I know that won't ever happen in my poor disadvantaged life so I settle with going home before the game, fucking Tanya's brains out while picturing Bella and her sexy as hell outfit, and then telling her she has to cut her visit short and don't bother coming back for awhile because I have to focus on school so I can come and join her at NYU next year, which obviously isn't going to happen because I won't step foot on that piece of shit canvas – I'm fuckin Harvard bound, and everyone knows it.

The game is set to start at seven o'clock and I glance at my Rolex Submariner and see that it's five o'clock, which means I have just enough time to piss Bella off before her Thursday night Starbucks shift which she's probably skipping out on at six thirty anyway which means she will have to take a ride with me, because hey, I'll already be there so why not? It only makes sense.

I began to realize that Bella had a recurring Thursday night shift at Starbucks when I first showed up with Tanya a couple weeks ago when she was down for the weekend. It was very typical of me, I heckled the cute barista like I would normally do but this time it was just so much more fun because it was _Bella_, and Tanya was already such a pretentious snob that she couldn't wait more than thirty seconds for her order and when Bella stood there dumbfounded and stuttering, I couldn't help but find it somewhat... adorable. Those two girls were such polar opposites and I loathed Tanya at this realization when I saw them side by side.

So for the past couple weeks I had made a habit of swinging by Starbucks on Thursday, usually with Jasper or Emmett as collateral so she wouldn't jet out of the place and take a break like she had the first time I showed up alone.

I hopped in the Volvo and sped over to Starbucks – way the hell on the other side of town, passing about four others along the way but hey, it was worth it because this was Bella's Starbucks.

_Such a pussy Cullen_.

My conscience was such a dick sometimes.

I snuck in the door and hid behind some unsuspecting old lady so that Bella wouldn't deek away for a break, and I'm pretty sure the lady thought I was trying to mug her because she just looked at me with the most horrified eyes and walked right out of the store, leaving me exposed and vulnerable to Bella's escape attempts.

"Bella!" I said, trying to sound surprised that she was working.

She looked like a deer in headlights and shot her manager a pleading glance who probably thought she wanted to take a break to see me – not to _not_ see me – and her manager, Mandy or Mindy or something? has had a thing for me for so long, which was pretty fucking nasty cause I'm sure she was like forty something, and at this suspicion told Bella she could take a break after five-thirty.

Bella shot her daggers behind at Mindy behind her back which was pretty comical because Bella usually wasn't so saucy like that and obligingly walked over to the cash register and said in a very professional and indifferent tone:

"Hello Sir, can I please take your order?"

_Yes I will have a tall order of Bella on my cock, right away. Extra wet. _

"Hello ma'am, I will have a Grande latte and hmmm" I said peering into the glass display case of sticky confectionaries "and what have you got that is sweet and juicy?"

Okay perhaps that wasn't exactly fair but she was just too cute when she blushed and I was utterly bored and needed something to do, and distracting her had become my favourite hobby. I even laid off the blow a bit just so I could bomb around visiting her at Starbucks and bump into her when she happened to be chilling at Jasper's or some shit. I know this sounds very pathetic, but I couldn't help it. I had nothing better to do and I didn't know any better than to prey on weaker beings.

"Well we have cookies, muffins, cupcakes, reduced-fat coffee cake or some crap..." she drawled on and her manager came up from behind her, clearly unimpressed with her lack of enthusiasm and use of the phrase "or some crap."

"This, Mr Cullen, is our Starbucks special chocolate chip banana reduced-fat coffee cake, with only two grams of fat," Mindy – or Mandy – said, and I couldn't have given a crap until she said banana and I went instantly hard at the recollection of Bella licking the shaft of – er, the length of the banana.

"Hmm.. I quite like bananas," I said, and Bella blushed furiously. "Please, I'll take one of those then. And Bella?" I said as the manager walked away, winking at me from over her shoulder – gross – "What is your recommendation for a beverage?"

Her face fell, and I instantly realized she must've assumed I was picking up a beverage for a second party when really I was doing no such thing. She bit her lip, contemplating the question for a minute.

"A good one, please," I added earnestly, hoping she wouldn't purposely butcher the beverage.

"Well I really like the chai tea lattes," she said quietly, looking down at her feet and shifting slightly, looking utterly adorable and vulnerable.

"Sure, that sounds good. I'll take a Grande one of those," I said, pulling out my wallet and searching for the credit card. Shit. I remembered last time I didn't leave a tip because I was too amused with the whole scenario and was distracted. I pulled out a fifty instead.

"That's eleven fifty," she said and I passed her the bill.

She frowned at having to make change from a fifty and gathered together a bunch of fives and nickels and quarters and shit.

"Keep the change," I said, and a tiny smile formed at the corner of her lips.

Seeing a sincere smile coming from Bella Swan gave me the strangest feeling in my gut. It was a weird sensation, like a flipping and turning in my stomach, and I had only gotten that feeling once before.

I quickly shook out the memories of my mom and decided right now was not the best time to go down memory lane. I grabbed the two drinks and took a table right smack dab in front of where she was working and took out a book.

She looked utterly puzzled as to why I was sitting here with two drinks, a coffee cake thing, and a book, all by myself.

Her manager instructed her to take her break and I thanked the lords for Mindy being so accommodating despite the fact she wanted to jump my bones.

Bella reluctantly walked over to my table, removing that ugly apron revealing a tight black t-shirt. Man, her body was so fabulous. Her body, if only in just a black t-shirt and jeans, was a thousand times more real and desirable than Tanya's perfect and surgically enhanced figure. She awkwardly stood there for a minute, likely having an internal debate on whether or not to sit down, and I motioned to the empty chair across from me.

She sensed me checking her out and instinctively crossed her arms around her stomach.

This was the Bella I got to privately witness and was beginning to like. Sure the hot sex-bomb Bella was a fox and I loved that side of her too; but this side felt so much more real and exposed, and I loved that she only revealed it in secret and accidentally or when she had her guard down, like when she was at Jazz's or working here (_did I just say loved? that shit is fucked up_). I guess she let her guard down wherever I wasn't.

She stiffened and looked at the two drinks.

"Oh, for you," I said, passing her the drink and coffee cake extravaganza or whatever Mandy called it.

"Is your manager Mindy or Mandy?" I asked, not really caring, but I wanted to seem polite.

"Mindy," Bella said, taking a sip of her drink. "And she wants to jump your bones. Thanks for the latte." She flashed me that million dollar smile appreciatively.

_I would buy her a thousand coffees if it would make her smile like that again._

"Excited for the game?" I asked. Usually I'm not one for small talk, but small talk with Bella was better than in-depth conversations with anyone else around here.

"Ya, I am," she said, picking at a piece of the coffee cake.

"You should eat that. You know, since you like bananas so much."

She blushed and looked down and I gently lifted her head up with my finger.

"You're sexy when you blush." I said which caused her to turn a bright shade of scarlet.

I chuckled quietly because I didn't want to embarrass her, but she just looked so friggin cute.

She was chewing on her bottom lip and I discovered that she did that when she was either thinking intently, or was nervous. I decided that this time it was a result of the latter, and tried to find a way to make her feel less uneasy.

"So, you met Tanya, eh?" I asked, trying to see if that could be what was bugging her.

And fuck, did that strike a chord. Her eyes darted up at mine and she was glaring daggers. I wondered what that was all about since she spent the majority of her time trying to cause me death/insanity by seduction or blatantly ignoring me. I wouldn't have guessed that she would dislike Tanya, except for the rude coffee incident the other week I suppose.

"Your girlfriend?" She snorted, making the word sound like a vile, dirty thing.

I wasn't sure how to respond to that. She was my fuck buddy, booty call sorta deal; we weren't exclusive but we did spend the occasional weekend together, mostly having sex but also doing other things like have dinner and what not.

"I suppose. Not really though," I said, furrowing my brow. I pinched the bridge of my nose in concentration. "Hmm. Booty call I guess? She goes to NYU and I have no intent of going there so whatever temporary thing we have right now is just that – temporary, and will end soon." _It would end instantly if I could have you_.

My mind was telling me one thing – that I shouldn't touch Bella, that she was competition for this scholarship, that she was too... too good for me? No definitely not, but I guess I felt she didn't need a player like me breaking her heart. I'd feel too fucking guilty about that and guilt sucks, which is why I avoid it or generally don't feel it at all.

My body on the other hand, desperately wanted her. I wanted to hold her, kiss her, fuck her, love her – buy her presents and make her smile. But I knew I couldn't do this. I was only seventeen for fuck sakes. If I committed now it was bound to end badly and I just didn't want to fuck up my chances like that. I couldn't have her at all. We could be friends, I guess. But that's it. Nothing more than friends. I would just have to feature her in my fantasies (which I already did, which was kind of creepy... if only the poor chick knew) and cold showers.

"Well she seems like a bitch." Bella said coldly and I nearly forgot what we were talking about. _Tanya_. Right.

"It's funny you should say that because most people feel that way Bella," I said, trying to lighten the conversation. "And she is a bitch. But she's a saucy minx and a good fuck who knows what she wants, so it's not all bad."

Bella nearly choked on her drink. "I should get back to work," she said, getting up from the table and putting her apron on. She struggled to tie the back so I jumped at the opportunity to get closer to her and smell her beautiful scent.

"Let me help you out." I walked up behind her and reached around to grab the ties, taking a whiff of her sweet, sweet strawberry scent and gently tied her apron on, brushing her back lightly in the process. I imagined my hands running down her soft, naked back, all warm and wet and soapy from the hot tub, down her rolling hips and contouring her round, firm ass, and down her thighs and legs, stopping at her ankles. Then up her calves, past her knees and between her legs, hesitating a bit before rubbing my hands against her smooth dripping wet pussy, gingerly poking a finger inside while massaging her clit, and then two fingers and then three... before ramming myself inside her and banging her gently, then harder, then just the way she likes it, rough and passionate and sensual.

"Edward? Did you hear what I said?" Bella asked, and I had to turn around to adjust myself right in the middle of fucking Starbucks. I tossed my drink in the garbage, which I had forgotten to touch, just so I had a purpose for turning away from her and she didn't suspect that in fact, my dick was twitching at the thought of washing her up and down in my hot tub.

"Edward," Bella pressed, looking quite irritated. "I said I got off my shift now and if you wouldn't terribly mind I'd like a ride home."

"I have a hot tub," was all that came out of my mouth.

She cocked her eyebrow, wondering what the hell I was talking about, and I made a quick recovery.

"I mean it's tradition to drink in my hot tub before the game, and we can't break tradition or else Emmett will lose and it will be our fault," I said, my cocky self saving my horny ass.

I drove us to my house and ran up to my room to change into some swim shorts.

I was trying to decipher how to hide my massive boner, still from Starbucks, when I heard a soft knock on my bedroom door.

"Edward?" Bella nearly squeaked. She was too fuckin cute.

"Ya Swan?" I said, playing it cool so I didn't fuck her brains out in the hot tub resulting in my ass in jail and then Carlisle having to bail me out for sexual assault and a slew of other unfavourable counts such as sodomy and who knows what else.

"I don't have a bathing suit."

_Fuck_.

Of course she didn't have a bathing suit. I suppose it wasn't in her daily practice to bring a bathing suit to work at Starbucks in the middle of October. Hmm. I'd have lent her a chick's one if I had a sister or some shit but of course I didn't have a sister. This posed a problem. Actually I'm surprised this problem never arose before. Surely I'd had tons of girls in the hot tub.

But they were all _naked_.

_Bella Swan – naked in my hot tub_.

The thought alone nearly made me jizz in my pants.

"Um let me find something for you." I frantically ripped apart my drawers looking for something – anything – that could be used as a girl's swimsuit. I found an old wifebeater and a pair of smaller swim shorts from when I was young.

I opened the door and she was – _holy, holy fuck_.

Bella was just standing there, patiently, in nothing but a towel. Her shoulders looked absolutely delicious and her collarbones were so perfect and her hair was loosely tied back in a ponytail with tiny wisps of hair framing her delicate face. Her legs looking fucking amazing too – all creamy and toned and wonderful.

"I used the bathroom just down the hall...." she motioned at the guest washroom.

"Here," I said, passing her the clothes, avoiding looking at her because I didn't think it was a good idea to test my self-restraint right now. She took them gingerly and I quickly closed the door. I changed and walked down the hall where I found her admiring the paintings.

"Is that a _real_ Renoir?" she asked, her eyes widening at the massive gilded-framed painting in front of her.

"Ya I suppose so. Do you like it?" I asked, trying to sound casual but wanting to jump her bones in the hot tub more than anything.

"Yes," she nodded her head slowly, stepping in toward it to examine it closer.

I was about to offer her the damn thing just to get us out to the hot tub when I heard Aro clear his throat behind us.

Bella nearly jumped ten feet in the air and I couldn't help but laugh hysterically.

"Master Cullen, here is your mail," Aro said, handing me a stack of mail and giving Bella an apologetic glance before leaving.

I brought the mail back in my room and Bella trailed behind me. I ripped open the pieces of mail one by one and threw them on the bed after I'd read them, so I could stash them in my file for god knows what I keep all that mail for. Because some of this shit is important.

Bella sat on the bed beside me, still naked under her towel and I couldn't exactly focus which is why I opened up my big monthly trust fund check and just threw it in the pile.

Bella glanced at it with wide eyes and looked at it intently.

I nodded my head, letting her know she could pick it up and then _fuck_.

"What's this?" she asked, looking at my trust fund statement that clearly indicated that I received, like clockwork, exactly twenty-five grand monthly from my mom in Barcelona or wherever the hell she was camping out now.

"Oh, that's just my trust fund," I said nonchalantly, figuring I didn't need to hide the fact that I was loaded, like a lot of kids in this town.

"You get twenty-five grand every single month?" she said, her eyes widening even more. I assumed she was just in awe because I guessed most kids didn't get that much and didn't think there was any reason to tell her otherwise.

"Ya, of course. It's mine essentially; I mean it will all be mine. These are just deposits into my account monthly so I don't blow all my money on coke and cars and shit."

"You mean to say, _every single month_ you get exactly the amount that the Roosevelt Scholarship is for, and you spend it on _drugs_?" She asked condescendingly, standing up and oh dear god her towel slipped a bit off her but she caught it just in time but not before I saw a nip slip. Her perfectly round, supple breast and tiny brown nipple popped up over the top of the towel and she hastily pulled the towel back in place, glaring daggers again, commanding my attention with that icy glare.

"Well not all on drugs," I said innocently, because I didn't. I saved most of it. I only ever spent like five or ten grand a month. I was responsible like that.

"And here you are, fighting me for a stupid scholarship that you don't even need!"

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. _

That thought didn't even cross my mind.

"You have been fighting against me and trying to sabotage my one and only chance of getting into Harvard law school where I can go and fight for women's rights so we don't have to dress like a slut to compete with guys – where we don't have to dress like a slut to win points with male faculty – so poor, disadvantaged kids could go to school and rich greedy bastards like you can rot in fucking hell – and you mean to say you are playing me, like a fucking game Edward Cullen?!"

Her words actually stung. It was true. I didn't need the money. And I was playing her. I did still want the scholarship though, but for different reasons. I had every single right to it that she did.

Bella turned swiftly on her heels, and stormed out of my room and out of my house as I heard the loud wooden door slam shut, and I don't care how mad she was, she wasn't going to walk home – especially not in a fucking towel.

I threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and ran downstairs.

Aro was standing there with a fuckin smirk on his face and that is when I realized she took my fucking car. That little gypsy – she stole my keys and then my car. She probably stole our fucking Renoir too.

I shot Aro an angry glare that said 'we're not done here buddy,' and hopped on my Ducati to follow her. I had no clue what kind of driver she was or what kind of driver she was when she was pissed off as fuck, and she could fucking crash my Volvo and I wouldn't care about the car but I didn't want her to get hurt.

I sped along the highway wondering if she even knew which way to go, suddenly thankful that I sprung for the GPS in the Volvo.

I caught up to her quickly because this bike was fucking fast as hell, and she was only driving ninety mph which was normal speed for me, and I pulled up beside her, praying to Jesus Christ the Saviour that no cars were coming around the curb. I knocked on the window and she fucking nearly jumped out of her skin – again – and shot me an evil glare and gave me the finger.

Yah, I deserved that I suppose.

I passed her and slowed down in front of her so she couldn't get ahead of me and she surprisingly followed me into town. I parked in the school lot and there were already lots of cars here for the game tonight and Bella parked beside me and she was fucking bawling.

Her eyes were red and puffy, eye makeup streaming down her face, and she had fucking goop running from her nose and I just wanted to comfort her.

Jasper saw us from the field and ran over and when he saw Bella crying and in a bath towel, he fucking ran toward me and launched himself at me, punching me in the stomach pretty fuckin hard.

I hurled over in agony and grabbed my stomach and he took the opportunity to sock me across the face.

Bella screamed at him to stop but he just kept wailing at me until I was down on the ground and I didn't even bother to fight. He kicked and punched and beat the shit out of me. I had a bloody nose and probably would have a nasty black eye tomorrow but I didn't fucking care because _she_ was hurt. And if she was hurt then I would want to hurt ten times as much – I would take all her pain and even more just so she'd never have to feel it again.

"_GET. THE. FUCK. OUT_." Jasper yelled at me, and I did.


	5. Chapter 5

****

**BPOV**

Weeks passed since homecoming night and Jasper and Edward were no longer on speaking terms... all because of me. I fucking ruined everything but Jasper was really kind and told me not to worry about a thing and to just screw Cullen because he was a smug sack of shit.

He hadn't been in school the last few days which is good because I wouldn't have spoken to him if he was. He sent me flowers every single day and cards and chocolates and shit but I threw them all out. I didn't want Edward's apologies, and I never wanted to see him ever again.

"Bella, do you think you're being just a little bit too tough on the poor guy?" Rose tentatively asked because she knew that she was overstepping some serious boundaries.

"Rosalie. The guy is fucking loaded. He's a spoiled sack of shit and wanted this fucking scholarship and thought it would be entertaining to play all these games and fuck me up in the head. He was coming on to me and even though I resisted I didn't want to. And then I find out it's all just a fucking game because daddy won't pay enough attention to him and his mother left him. You know what I told him, Rose?" I paused taking a deep breath because I was practically fucking hyperventilating, and the expression on her face indicated she instantly regretting advising me otherwise.

I was sitting on her plush pink bed and she was at her vanity, squinting and leaning close in the mirror as she tweezed her perfectly arched brows.

"I told him, on the phone, that I don't blame his mother for leaving him because if I was his mom, I'd be embarrassed of him too."

"BELLA FUCKING SWAN!" Rosalie screeched, whipping toward me about ready to jab me in the face with her tweezers. "YOU DID NO SUCH THING!"

I paused for a minute, sheepishly wondering what the hell I'd done that was so wretched that I made Rosalie of all people lose her cool. "Y-Yes I did?" I stammered, and she dropped her head in her hands.

She took a deep breath, opened the top drawer of her vanity, and popped a little blue pill in her mouth.

She sighed and looked at me, ready to drop a bomb.

"Bella. You come into this town with the intention of raising hell in Edward Cullen's life and I sit back and watch. Even though he's one of my best friends I realize he needs a bit of a jab to his ego so he remembers he's not god's gift to women, although he might be," She paused, searching her memory and then shook the thought out of her head. "So anyway, I allow you to tryst around town in these cute little outfits and tease him senseless because that's all in good fun. We _all_ do that at one point or another. But then you start really fucking with him Bella. And that shit just isn't right. I know this scholarship is important to you, but it was also really important to Edward. Sure, maybe not for financial reasons, but he has his reasons. But you drove him to the edge and then scream at him for having a trust fund? Puh-leez Bella. Half the kids in this town have one. Hell, Emmett has one; Alice and Jazz too. I have a huge bank account which is practically the same thing. We're all loaded. Get used to it." Rose said sharply, and I could tell she wasn't finished making her point.

She looked back into the mirror and sighed, looking more serene than she did a few minutes ago.

"But Isabella," she said in a stark tone, "what you said about his mother is unforgivable. Edward and his mother were like this" she said, lifting up her hand and crossing her fingers. "I know you just lost your mother, and Renee was falling apart at the end because of it. Now imagine if your mother decided to ditch you by choice. Imagine Renee told you she didn't want you anymore because you resembled your father in physical appearance – your eyes, your body structure, even your voice, was too much like your father. Imagine you begging... pleading Renee to stay and you'll change, you promise you'll change, because you just can't live without a loving parent. Imagine your father doesn't really give a crap about your well being and just works his ass for twenty-four seven and barely acknowledges your existence. He even resents you because of all the money you've inherited and asks for loans on occasion. Now imagine Renee slapping you across the face, packing her shit and leaving you alone on the doorstep of your big, cold, scary mansion alone. Your father's out fucking some broad, leaving your butler as your only company. He's only there because he's being paid and doesn't really give a crap about entertaining you so sits you in front of the TV. Oh, and you're six years old." Rosalie said, eyes narrowing in concentration.

"Now you're sixteen and you begin getting cheques in the mail from your mother – somewhere out there – and that's the only sign you have that she's still alive. You've tried looking her up, you've tried tracking the cheques – and hell, you've even hired a PI. But you know deep down your mom doesn't want you and all you can do is accept that. You don't trust anyone because you've never felt love before from anyone but your mom and she _ditched you_. You distance yourself from everyone and fuck chicks to cope because you don't have much respect for women and think they are only reliable for a one night stand before they flake off with some other guy. You have a great group of friends but then they team up against you for this new chick who you like but you don't want to like because you know what happened the last time you loved someone. You turn to your friends and you get your ass kicked by one of your best friends because he's decided you are no longer a worthy friend."

I took an audible gulp. _Oh shit_.

_I _really_ fucked up. _


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I don't own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer does. **

**EPOV**

I stared at the nearly empty bottle of scotch sitting on my large mahogany desk. _What a good investment of 2k that was_.

It was incredibly deep and complex and went down smoothly, leaving a warm satiated sensation in the pit of my gut.

I scanned the rest of the room; laundry was messily strewn across the room, Heineken bottles scattered on every spare surface; the lids popped off and thrown every which way, and on my coffee table was rolled up fifty's, empty baggies, and residue of the fine white powder that had been dusted onto the table, lined up, and snorted.

The frame that held my mother's photo had earlier been chucked against my wall in a fit of rage and was now scattered across the floor in shards.

The photo itself I ripped up and burnt on my balcony; I took pleasure in destroying the only thing I loved, that had crushed my spirit and destroyed me – slowly, intentionally, and painfully – these past eleven years.

She fucked me up good, that woman. Despite the copious amounts of drugs I was on as a child, nothing but my irreverent hatred and constant use of women as objects helped my pain. That, of course, and my special blend of narcotics...

I couldn't trust a woman; I wouldn't date and I promised myself I'd never fall to the knees of an evil woman full of trickery and malevolent plans to destroy my life ever again.

Tanya was different, but she was definitely pure evil. I never felt any attachment to Tanya, and I was never affected by Tanya – she could up and leave at any time and I would soothe my wounds by seeking out another broad, and I'd doubt there would even be wounds.

But when Bella Swan came to Forks and made me feel _that way_ again, I tried to fight it with all my will.

I failed miserably.

I was clearly attracted to her sexually, like any guy with a dick would be, but that's not what scared me. I was terrified by the fact that she did these things to me, evoked _these feelings_ where I actually looked forward to seeing her and wanted to be around her. It might have gotten to the point of love, and love was bad.

Love was very, very bad.

Sex was good, fucking was good, fucking around was good, and friendship was good as long as there was a distance maintained, but love was tormenting, terrifying, and would rip my heart out and crush it with a hammer until it was crushed into an oblivion.

I hadn't eaten in days. I hadn't left this room in over forty eight hours. _The perks of having an ensuite bathroom... _

Emmett stopped by but I wouldn't see him. Nobody needed to see me like this.

_Sullen Cullen..._

Jasper didn't attempt to contact me and I didn't give a shit to do as much either.

The other day I thought it would be a good idea to shuffle down the hall and use my music room. I pounded the shit out of my Bösendorfer, my anger and torment and hatred transmitting onto the keys and creating beautiful agony.

Jasper had beaten me to a pulp and I deserved some of it, sure... but I don't see why I was taking the fall for just wanting my friggin scholarship. To be honest, I didn't fucking care about the scholarship anymore. I lost something more this time; I lost my friend Bella, and I don't know if she saw me as a friend or more or less – I know I was starting to feel more for her but I'd be so content with just being a friend. I needed her in my life.

I had the sudden urge to the get the hell out of here and make amends. Swan still had my Volvo and I'll be damned if she steals that too.

The prospect of seeing her again, even just for a second, sent a jolt of excitement through my body and a skip in my step.

I ambled over to my walk-in closet and grabbed a pair of jeans and black Hugo Boss sweater and mussed my hair a bit while taking a glance in the mirror. Good god was my hair a fuckin mess. I hadn't washed it in a few days and it'd grown long and wayward and stuck out every which way. _Sex hair_.

My lip was still fat and my eye bruised and red from the popped blood vessel. I shuddered at the sight and hoped it made me look like a badass and not some sleazy knacker.

Hopefully Bella digs this shit.

***

**BPOV**

Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper all gave me advice on what to do about the Cullen scenario. Most surprising was Rosalie's reaction; the others basically told me to stay out of his business from now on and move on with my life. He still hung out with the group but mostly we'd broken up into gendered groups of three, which was so totally elementary school. Alice, Rose and I would hang out, and Emmett, Jazz and Edward would hang out. When the couples hung out, I'd taken it upon me to familiarize myself with the neighbour kid Jake, who was actually a pretty chill guy. And it sure as hell beat being the third wheel.

Jake and I were playing video games in his basement, sitting side by side on the soft leather couch.

"Haha, I win again, FUCKER!" I squealed in excitement from winning the fifth game in a row of Mario Kart, which was a totally kickass game by the way.

"You are such a cheater!" Jake exclaimed, referring to my sneaky distraction technique of unbuttoning the top four buttons of my shirt and pushing my cleavage up by squeezing them between my arms.

I buttoned my shirt back up and gave him a sugary sweet smile, "You lose... _again_. Suck it up bitch." I took a swig of my grape Kool-Aid and vodka concoction, "Oh, and pay up."

We wagered fifty bucks, and I knew Jake would reluctantly fork it over. He was such a pushover when it came to me.

"You're makin me broke here, woman" Jake shook his head in disbelief of my amazing winning streak. "Go buy yourself some new friends;" he tossed me a fifty.

I knew Jake was referring to my "rich" circle of friends, and he didn't necessarily approve of any of them. He was born and raised here in Forks and knew exactly how that exclusive clique ran. He disapproved of the company I kept with them but I convinced him that they were pretty good people aside from Cullen. Plus, Rose was family – and you can't exactly choose your family.

Jake's family made it big here in Forks the good honourable way of working their butts off and developing a really successful local Lumber business, "Billy Black and Family Lumber." They'd earned a pretty good living and lived according to a "nouveau riche" model as Jazz called them. I didn't see how earning money by merit of hard work was any less prestigious than inheriting it, but apparently here in Forks there was a considerable difference.

Jake lived in a big, beautiful log cabin in the middle of the forest and he was always luring me into fishing and dirt biking and rough n' tumble guy stuff.

When we were at school we barely spoke, because I hung out with the clique and he wouldn't say a word to them.

Jake's older brothers, Quil and Embry weren't the biggest fan of me because they hated Cullen and my other "group" and didn't want their little bro to become one of those, and I quote, "snobby rich sons of bitches." Even though that wasn't a feasible possibility (my "other" group would never allow Jake into their exclusive members-only clique) I could see how they wouldn't have the highest opinion of me, especially after the moves I pulled on Edward in the beginning of school. _Using my body to get a scholarship was hardly honourable. _

"Ya I've been collecting quite a pretty sum from your suck ass Mario Kart skills lately, haven't I?" I chirped, hoping to get a rise out of Jake.

"I'm sorry, it's just those assets of yours are hard to ignore." He wasn't sorry at all. "Do you want to grab dinner tonight?" He asked hopefully.

Jake had been trying to get me out on a date with him since before we'd begun hanging out. Pretty much since the first time he laid eyes on me during gym class. His persistence only increased once we started hanging out and no matter how many times I rejected him he still wouldn't drop it.

"Nah I've got plans. It's a 'rich kid thing,'" I said using air quotes, "You wouldn't understand." We both laughed at the ridiculousness of my statement and then I was out.

****

It's a cold rainy day in the middle of November. I'm hanging out at Jasper's and we're having a much needed super long chill sesh. He's telling me about Alice and how they've been banging in the art room during lunch hour, and how great it is getting to know her – intimately, but also a different side of her that he had begun to love, the side that none of the rest of us saw.

"It's fucking amazing, ReBella," Jasper said, taking a seat on his beanbag chair and picking up his guitar.

ReBella was the annoying as hell nickname he'd given me after I managed to "destroy" Edward Cullen, and despite Rose's persistent attempt of defending him, Jazz said he had it coming. _Sullen Cullen_ was what everyone called him, and he took that name pretty well.

"ReBella, ReBella, fee fi foe fella, Rebel-ah," Jasper hummed, strumming his prized Taylor guitar.

"I was always overshadowed by Cullen, not to mention the fact that he threatened to chop off my balls if I did as much as smile at Alice outside of his supervision," Jasper began, furrowing his brow in concentration at his guitar strings. "Man I've forgot my fuckin serenade."

"Serenade, Jazz? Are you friggin serious?" I said, stretching out on Jasper's comfy as hell futon.

"Ya man. Chicks dig that romantic shit, don't they?"

I nodded.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that Alice wasn't really a huge acoustic guitar fan, but hopefully she'd find it romantic and take it upon herself to act surprised and love-struck by the gesture. Now a little blue box from Tiffany & Co. – _that_ would surely have the desired effect.

"Jazz, do you think I've been too hard on Edward? I mean he's been moping around the school like a fuckin zombie. I wouldn't be surprised if he'd sworn off sex," I was actually concerned, not about the sex part but how Edward had become a totally emo wreck, and this concern was expressive and explicit in my voice.

"ReBella, ReBella –"

"Bella," I corrected. I know that Jazz was proud of me for putting my foot down and it had been weeks since that ridiculous trust fund incident and basically, I ignored Cullen and he ignored me.

"Right, Bella. Cullen wouldn't swear off sex if he got castrated. He will _never_ swear off sex, and I wouldn't be worried about his sexual health, he's been banging some Leah chick at the hospital."

My heart sunk, and although I knew that it was utterly stupid of me to feel slightly disappointed, I was. A part of me missed what Edward and I had before that stupid trust fund incident; the excitement of seeing his reaction every day when I'd show up to class wearing next to nothing, incessant bantering over the cafeteria tables, watching him drool as I gave my banana head, and most of all, I missed him heckling me at Starbucks. The Edward I saw that night at Starbucks was the Edward that I couldn't let go. Of course that Edward was probably phony and driven by his own personal agenda to win the scholarship.

I knew he probably hated me and moved on since that silly incident; I mean I yelled at him for having money and for wanting the same scholarship I wanted. I sat there and watched as Jasper beat the crap out of him and even though I screamed and pleaded for Jazz to stop, I knew he had his own personal beef with Edward. I thought this beef of his might have something to do with Edward's over-protection toward Alice and his utter refusal to let him see her. Alice didn't know about these conversations they had and Edward sat back smugly as Jasper callously – albeit reluctantly – rejected all of Alice's advances, and as Alice became increasingly confused as to why every other guy in the school wanted her, _except_ for Jasper.

Alice's attempts to capture Jasper's attention were nearly as relentless as my attempts to drive Edward wild, but Jasper never did anything to deserve it.

_Did Edward? _

Were my actions toward Edward justified?

I often contemplated the possibility that perhaps my actions were completely unwarranted, and every single time I pondered this I became sick to my stomach.

"Aw ReBella –"

"Bella," I corrected; my voice thick with irritation.

"Sorry," Jasper said sincerely. "I won't rub that shit in your face anymore. I just want to let you know that you wearing those fuckin biker boots and shit is hot and makes you look like a," Jasper paused, placing his fingers on guitar chords, "ReBella Bella fee fi foe fella, ReBell-ah."

"Jasper!" I exclaimed, having heard just about enough of his fucking jingles. I ran over to him, grabbing his guitar and tossing it on the ground and playfully punched him in the gut.

"Oww" Jasper groaned, hugging his gut and hurling over in defeat. "I shoulda let you beat Cullen's ass."

"Next time, my friend. Next time."

Jasper ran over to me and I squealed and pulled his shirt off, tickling his stomach because I knew he couldn't fucking tolerate that for a second.

Jasper rebounded and had me in a decent headlock, messing up my hair with his hand and I tugged his to get him off me. I bit his finger and that's when we heard a loud knock on the door.

We both froze, wondering who the hell it could be.

_Alice? _This certainly wouldn't look good if she saws us wrestling like two eight year old siblings.

_Jacob?_ He would probably run to my safety and sock Jasper in the face, thinking Jasper was using this as an excuse for him to touch my boob or some shit.

_Edward? _

_What the fuck. Third time's a charm._

Edward tentatively poked his head inside the room and boy did he look rough. His face was still a bit cut up from the fight; he had a small scar above his eyebrow and his eye was a nasty shade of yellowish green from the black eye Jasper had given him. His pupils were slightly dilated, making him appear almost sinister, and his hair was in absolute disarray. He looked scruffy, as if he hadn't shaved in about a week.

"Uh, hey guys, I don't mean to interrupt –" he motioned toward our headlock which probably appeared more like a kinky sex scene than anything else. He slowly backed up toward the door "I'll let you get back to... well whatever it was you were doing here. See ya Swan. _Jasper_."

He shot Jasper an icy glare on his way out.

Edward was such a buzz kill. After he awkwardly staggered out of the room (his unsteady footing likely a result of whatever on earth he was high on) Jazz and I just sorta shrugged it off and went back to talking about Alice and how he could effectively woo her.

I brought up my Tiffany & Co. idea. "It _is_ nearly Christmas Jasper; only three weeks away. You might want to pony up and buy her something nice all wrapped up in a little blue box – you know – since you've been dancing around each other since ninth grade."

"Sex is all I'll need for Christmas," Jasper confirmed, folding his hands around the back of his head and kicking his feet up on his chair; his mind was likely wandering to places I didn't want to imagine.

"What about you and Jake? Any potential for a rendezvous there?"

I shook my head firmly; "Nope." The thought alone made me shudder.

Jasper shrugged and continued working on his "serenade;" scribbling guitar tabs down on a sheet of paper as he went along.

I didn't quite know how Jasper felt about Jake; he was cool with us hanging out and had told me Jake was a good guy, but for some reason I couldn't think about Jake that way. He was a guy friend, and we did shit like bomb around in Cullen's Volvo I had come to acquire and watch scary movies and crap, but nothing at all romantic. I was well aware Jake thought of me as more than a friend though, which usually resulted in him making awkward advances and me fervently rejecting them.

"So ReBella," Jasper said looking up from his composition "Whistler for Christmas?"

"Am I supposed to know what that means?" I asked, not getting whether Whistler was a place or slang for an activity; it was hard enough to keep up with Jasper's jargon when I knew what he was talking about.

"Whistler ski resort, baby. British fuckin Columbia."

I hadn't skied since I was like, five and I didn't snowboard or anything, but the thought of getting out of here – away from everything in Forks – was very appealing.

"Count me in, Whitlock."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I don't own Twilight, S Meyer still does. **

**EPOV**

I hadn't been to my intern job in fuckin ages and Carlisle would blow a gasket next time I saw him, but it's not like he could do anything to make me "sorry." Carlisle only ever had the slightest bit of leverage on me before I turned sixteen when he could still threaten me with some sort of "withholding my allowance" punishment or some shit, but now that I had more disposable income than he did he soon realized it was best to stay on my good side if he ever expected to see a cent of it.

I wouldn't have been surprised if Carlisle married my mother for her money. Even though the man was a successful and respected physician he didn't have the background he wished he did and marrying my mother elevated his status into the circle of the social elite. I suppose this is one of the many valid reasons Elizabeth resented him and left him. Too bad I still had to tolerate the bastard. It was also too bad my blue blood was tainted with the motor oil his third class citizen probably ran on. I was thankful Carlisle had society fooled though; only I knew of his scum background and I used it against him every fucking chance I got to make sure he didn't forget what side of the tracks he came from.

Carlisle and I usually only saw each other in the hospital. I purposely perfected the skill of avoiding Carlisle a couple years back and it was easy enough to do this friggin mansion. We had a mutual understanding, he and I. He was pretty pissed with my mom when she left because it suddenly meant he had to take care of this child he barely acknowledged in the first place. I was pissed with him because it meant I was had to live with his sketchy self and tolerate the slutty whores he brought home.

Carlisle could leave the trailer park but the trailer park would never leave him.

So, we agreed to stay the hell out of each other's lives. I could come and go as I pleased, and he could do the same.

I had the impure intentions of swinging by the hospital today to flirt with that foxy nurse to raise my spirits, and hopefully rise more than that.

My drug cocktail was worn off and as much as I wanted to visit Bella, I knew she'd likely call the police on me for stepping on to her property. Sure I'd bribe the cops and there'd be no consequence for my trespassing, but it was the principle that mattered. Plus the effort.

My futile attempt of making amends with her a couple days ago was brutal; I walked in on her and Jazz doing _something_... I had no clue what they were up to but they looked pretty cozy, which made me wonder if my previous suspicions on Jazz being no good for Alice were legitimate. I didn't want to think about Bella anymore. Even though I had feelings for her and wanted her to be in my life again, I wasn't going to grovel on my knees for an apology.

Plus I couldn't help but get over this pride thing. Even though Esme was clearly a classy babe, I couldn't help but wonder if Bella had any trailer park in her. I mean I didn't know a thing about her past or her parents, or even how closely related she actually was to Rose's posh upbringing and background. I just wondered how well we would _mesh_. This is why I stuck to _fucking_ the nurses at the hospital and not bringing them home like my scumbag father. I had clout and a reputation to maintain.

Not sure what else to do, I hop on my slick silver Ducati and speed down the highway. I try and forget the memory of Bella being on the back of the bike with me, holding me tight around my waist; I wanted to make her feel so safe with me.

I pulled into the hospital lot and parked beside Carlisle's Mercedes S55 AMG. As I saunter into my dad's wing – the Department of Diagnostic Radiology and Nuclear Medicine – everyone is fucking staring at me. And they are even being fuckin discreet about it. All I could think was _is my fly undone and everyone is awestruck? _

This chick Leah comes over to me and she's a fucking hot chick, don't get me wrong. I've been tapping that since I started working here but today just wasn't the right fucking day.

_Man Cullen, you're turning into such a fuckin pussy. _

_Since when do I refuse a sweet piece of ass?_

I checked her out just so she wouldn't think I'd lost interest in her and _damn_, she did look fuckin fine.

Her long raven-black hair was tied up in a tight ponytail which brought out her amazing sparkling brown eyes – they were warm and friendly and inviting. She ditched the tacky scrubs for a tight white t-shirt that showed off her smokin' hot body and impeccably toned arms. You could tell she did Pilates or some shit. Maybe yoga. Her crisp white shirt contrasted beautifully against her glowing olive skin. She had on tight jeans which enhanced her tight little ass and I couldn't help but walk over to her and smack it.

"Nice, Leah," I said, motioning up and down at her outfit. "Is it casual day or something?" I hope I didn't come dressed like a douche for no reason today; I hated these ugly and itchy as hell solid green scrubs.

"No, I'm let off early." She grabbed her purse out of her locker. "And I suggest you come with me." This sounded fuckin serious.

She grabbed my arm and led me down a long corridor and we ended up in the underground parking lot.

"So what's going on up there?" I wanted to know why the hell everyone was treating me like a fuckin leper.

"Some supplies went missing, you know, just the usual – syringes and shit. We _thought_ that was it," she cleared her throat and turned to look me in the eyes. "Edward, someone fucking stole enough tranquilizers to kill ten horses. Do you know anything about this?"

My eyes shifted to the ground, which was a stupid fucking move since that's the first sign someone is lying, and I wasn't.

"No." I said firmly. "I don't." I was fucking insulted that she thought I had to _steal_ drugs.

She paused for a minute, unlocking her car door by pressing a button on her keys. "Be good, kid. Dr Cullen is in a lot of deep shit because of this. You're the only druggie who works at the place. I recommend you lay low until they find the real thief," she stepped into her car before I could say anything.

But I had nothing to say. Leah didn't need an explanation and I didn't do _shit_.

I raced home hoping that the speed would send a rush of adrenaline through my body and make me less bored but it didn't work that way anymore. I was desensitized to everything. And I mean everything.

I had been relying on drugs so much that reality sucked. I did so many chicks that porn couldn't fucking cut it anymore. If I wanted a lay I'd call some chick over and she'd do as I said and that was that.

The only thing that got me going was teasing Bella at Starbucks.

Right now I was bored as shit and goddamn fucking horny.

I hadn't had sex in like a week now, and I didn't even jerk off in between; that was equivalent to a year for me basically.

The last lay I had was Stanley and I would barely call that decent.

I was thinking too fucking much and the only thing that was supposed to take shit off my mind brought more shit to my mind. What's the sense in taking drugs if they just magnify your problems?

Poor Stanley sure tried though. She came over in a long overcoat with nothing but lingerie underneath which I'd usually at least commend her for because I sure as hell never put an ounce of effort into pleasing her. I banged her from behind – doggie style – because I couldn't look at her; it was an instant turn-off that night. All I could think of was Bella Swan and how she was allegedly fucking Jake Black now. Jake fucking Black.

Jake was a generally decent guy, but really young. I couldn't believe that Bella – this hot senior, was fucking a junior. It barely made sense. Plus he was tacky nouveau riche and his dad did poor man's work; he worked in a lumber yard or some shit which isn't exactly highly regarded in my books. She could do so much better than that dog.

I got home and nobody was here. Aro must have taken the night off or some shit. That's when I realized it was a fuckin Friday night which meant that if I sat here like a fucking pansy by myself I would have to kill myself because that would mean I was the biggest loser on the planet. Even Aro took Friday's off to visit his "lady friend" or some crap. He told me before he takes her ballroom dancing and I recommended they just use our ballroom since it's never been used and he quietly turned down my offer. That's when I took it upon myself to use the ballroom as a skate park. It was mutiny.

I picked up my Blackberry Storm and texted Emmett. _"Party my place 9pm."_

I then texted the same message to every other person in my address book who was important enough to attend; roughly three hundred people.

I decided now was a good time as any to get a workout in and settled on using the treadmill; each pound of my foot on the hard surface was a healthier way of beating out my inner demons than shooting coke.

****

By nine-thirty my place was fucking packed. Most people at Forks High usually attended these parties, especially because Alice was as my super accommodating hostess and we had just about every brand of liquor available for our guest's consumption.

I walked down the large curvy staircase, skimming my hand along the wooden banister and waving at some of the chicks that stood near the entryway with their mouths open, ready to suck me off on command. Maybe a ménage a trois would be in store tonight. _That would get shit off my mind._

The loud pulsing of Kings of Leon infused with some techno shit blasted through the speakers throughout my house and it was practically shaking. If my mansion hadn't been built with the finest resources by the most skilled architects of its time, there might have been a threat of the windows shattering. Alice had set up all sorts of coloured strobe lights and I could only imagine how trippy this shit would be on E.

"Edward!!" Alice called out, weaving her way through the dense crowd of people. Rose followed closely behind her and they both embraced me in a meaningful hug. I kissed each of them on the head; my way of thanking them for not judging me for being such an emo pussy over the last few weeks.

"You look fucking... just fucking _wow_ Cullen" Rosalie remarked in my ear, checking me out repeatedly. She stepped back and started grinding up against Alice. "IF I WASN'T FUCKING EMMETT" she shouted over the loud music, "I WOULD BE FUCKING _YOU_ TONIGHT!"

I couldn't help but laugh. Rosalie was such a fucking babe. Despite my utter distaste for her inflated ego, she was a good friend when it came down to it.

"THANKS ROSIE" I called back, my voice straining over the loud music. "NOW I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS," I paused, looking around to see if there were any hot chicks at my disposal, "BUT I'M HERE TO GET _FUCKED UP_ TONIGHT!"

They both nodded fervently in agreement and continued grinding along to the music, which actually wasn't too terrible; there was no doubt I was likely footing the bill for some exorbitantly overpriced DJ.

The place was fucking swimming with people and I had to break them apart just to get past them as I walked through the halls. There must have been over two hundred people, all running around my mansion, smashing expensive antique vases and shit. I didn't fucking care and Carlisle wasn't around enough to notice the existence of said vases, let alone the fact that they'd be missing. It was all good as long as they didn't smash the vase that held Grandma Cullen's remains. _Then there would be consequences..._

My place was definitely a sick venue to have a party; every room was big and open and the halls were large enough to hold a steady flow of people no matter where you walked.

I noticed Emmett talking with some guys from the football team and raised my scotch glass above the heads of people in front of me and shouted "CHEERS MAN" over the music. He motioned back to me and I kept making my way through the house, nodding at people I recognized and high-fiving my friends.

I fuckin saw Mike fuckin Newton swinging from our crystal Venetian chandelier that hung in the centre of the huge marble entryway, fuckin two floors high. Christ if he fell that wouldn't be fuckin pretty, especially the floors.

As I sauntered through my house like a fuckin king, I'd get the occasional kiss on the cheek from a chick that looked remotely familiar, and I gave out a couple ass slaps.

I noticed Jazz blazing with some eccentric looking DJ; he had set up all his gear and shit in the sitting room and they were toking on his stereo.

I approached the DJ turntable only because there were two smokin hot chicks grinding the fuck out of each other. I nodded in approval and got between them for a song and a bit and Whitlock was fuckin glaring at me the whole time. After I got bored with the broads I walked over to hear what he had to say.

"Cullen," he said, eyeing me coldly.

"Whitlock."

That was the extent of our camaraderie.

I circled the place a couple more times looking for any new chicks and didn't see anything I liked.

I ran up the stairs to use a guest bathroom quickly and walked in on Stanley and Mallory snorting some sort of purple and blue pill cocktail off the big marble countertop.

"EDWARD!" they exclaimed as soon as I walked in; they were all giggling about something.

"Ladies," I nodded my head and proceeded to take a piss right in front of them. I mean, it _was_ my fucking house after all.

"Wanna take a shower with us?" Lauren said, batting her super long sexy eyelashes at me. They were both wasted out of their minds and high on a bunch of different shit; both their faces were flushed from the booze and their hair was all dishevelled probably from previous fucks throughout the night.

"As delicious as your offer sounds," I muttered, squeezing in between the two of them to wash my hands, "I think you're both dirty whores wasted out of your minds and I don't do sloppy seconds."

"What?!" they called out, not hearing what I'd said at all.

"I said you guys look fabulous, I'll be right back," I shouted, knowing they wouldn't likely remember shit. I took a long swig of my scotch and looked at myself in the mirror. The two of them were dry humping the shit out of me, grinding to the music with Stanley on one side and Mallory on the other. Just when they were grinding really good with both their faces in my crotch the bathroom door cracked open a bit.

Bella _fucking_ Swan.

"Sorry, sorry-" she stuttered, blushing furiously at having just walked in on what appeared to be a threesome in the process. She turned around quickly and I pushed Lauren and Jess's faces out of the way and ran over to catch Bella before she took off.

Why I left Stanley and Mallory with their mouths salivating at the thought of my dick, I won't know.

Oh right; because they were fucking smashed. They might as well be unconscious. I didn't much feel like cleaning up vomit and shit tonight anyway. I wasn't into any _Kill Bill_ fucking comatose shit anyway.

I ran down the stairs and saw Bella about to walk out the door; I squeezed between two people making out – fuckin Angela and Ben – and she was just closing the door behind her.

"Bella!" I called, and she was practically running down the driveway. "BELLA!!!" I fuckin yelled because that music was still pulsing – right through the windows of my house – and ran after her.

She paused but didn't turn around. She was probably contemplating between calling the cops and running, but I caught up with her just in time and grabbed her by the shoulders. She flinched at my force and I eased my grip but didn't let go.

"Bella," I said, huffing and out of breath from my sprint down forty stairs and through a mob full of people and halfway down my quarter of a mile driveway. I raised my finger indicating for her to hold on a minute while I caught my breath.

She just stared at me, looking fuckin impatient as hell.

"You came to my party," I said, still catching my breath.

She rolled her eyes and gave me an icy glare. "Yes, I clearly did," she said sarcastically "and I was just leaving when you chased me out the door to tell me _this_.... that I came to your fucking party. Congratulations, Mr fuckin Obvious;" she sounded utterly unimpressed with me.

"Bella -" I continued, grabbing my pack of smokes from the back pocket of my jeans and pulling one out.

"And that" she said, grabbing the smoke out of my hand before I could light it, "is why you're out of breath from running twenty feet," she retorted, fishing around in my front pockets for a lighter.

Having her hands running up and down in such close vicinity of my cock made it twitch. She didn't seem to notice and fell to her knees, padding me down for a lighter. I was amused with her persistence and stood there with my arms crossed, looking down at her as she knelt below me and ran her tiny hands across the front of my pants, then over the pockets, and then the back pockets.

I let her continue this for a few minutes until she gave up, grabbing me by my belt loops to pull herself up and then slapping my stomach in annoyance. She let out a sigh of defeat and looked at me expectantly.

"I don't have a lighter on me," I answered, giving her the best crooked smile I could muster.

She rolled her eyes and started to walk away, throwing the perfectly unused cigarette on the pavement.

"But" I said, grabbing her elbow and bringing her toward me gently, "I do have one inside my house. And I would love to share it with you, if you came with me."

She just stared at me, completely dumbstruck for a minute and I gathered she was contemplating the consequences of either action.

"Just for one smoke," I insisted. "Then you can go."

She cleared her throat and pondered for another second.

I took the opportunity to check her out while she stared down at the ground in deep thought.

She wore a loose fitting halter top that tied around her neck and tightened around the waist and was cut perfectly for easy viewing of side-boobs, which I noticed were not bound by any obligation to a bra. She had on a pair of tight, hip- and ass-hugging jeans paired with those damn Chuck Taylor's and her hair was styled in loose curls that framed her face. She was absolutely stunning.

"ONE" She said firmly. "One smoke. That's all."

We walked back to the front door and just as I put my hand on the large wrought-iron door knob to open it, fuckin Jasper and Alice come stumbling out; he has a sixty of tequila in one hand and is clutching Alice by the waist with the other, and they're both fucking falling all over the place so I didn't much see the point in holding one another for stability.

"ReBellaaaaaaaaa" Jazz calls out and walks over to Bella, letting go of Alice who practically stumbles into a topiary, and picks her up by the waist, spinning her around.

"JASPER!" Bella squealed, holding on to Jasper for dear life _"Let. Me. GO!"_ She grunted and kicked free of him. He just fuckin laughs it off, smugly looking at me, as if to say, _'I can touch that shit and you can't.' _

He and Alice wander off toward the fountain and I pray to god they don't choose to go swimming in the middle of November and break their necks, because that is just a multi-million dollar lawsuit in the making.

I glance into the front windows and see a massive keg in my living room and absolute disarray. I decide it's best if we go in the back way and I grab Bella, who's standing there adjusting her top because Jazz nearly pulled it off her, and lead her to the backyard.

"WHERE are we going!?" she exclaimed, thinking I'm out to rape her or some shit. "You said to smoke!" She stopped dead in her tracks, wriggled free of my grip and crossed her arms.

"We _are_," I said, a little impatient at this point that she doesn't trust me worth shit; as if I intentionally went out to hurt her and was willing to do it again. "But I'm taking you through the back door so Emmett doesn't grab you and make you do a keg-stand." The thought of Emmett holding her up upside down by her tiny little waist while her boobs hung out the sides of that loose fitting shirt for the whole party to see made me shudder.

"You better not be lying," she muttered, and I felt guilty she had such little faith in me.

I took her by the hand, expertly leading her through the bushes to the backyard so she wouldn't trip on anything along the way.

We got up to my room and she took off her Chuck Taylor's before falling back onto my big bed. Looking at her lying in the middle of my bed was enough to get me going. She stretched her arms out to either side and barely even touched the edges of the huge bed.

"So this is what it's like living in the lap of luxury," she sighed.

I laughed and went back to flipping over papers and Maxim magazines, frantically trying to find my lighter.

Where the fuck did I hide this fucking thing...

I heard my bedroom door open and my eyes darted to the door, wondering who the fuck was stupid enough to try and fornicate in my bed.

Fuckin Rose and Emmett.

They stumbled in, already half naked; Rose's sparkly bar top was thrown over Emmett's shoulder exposing her perfect round tits and her pants were undone revealing a pair of sheer black panties. Emmett's shirt was off and god knows where he left it.

"No fuckin way –" I walked toward Emmett to push him out of my room.

Bella was already up off the bed and ran over to Rosalie to whisper something in her ear; Rosalie being drunk off her ass wraps her arm around Bella's shoulders in a drunken embrace and spills her fucking drink all over Bella and my newly polished hardwood floors.

"That shit better not be sticky!" I barked at Rose, a little harsher than I needed to be.

"Whoa!! Someone needs to get fuckin laid, eh Cullen?" Emmett punched my arm jokingly.

I shot him an icy glare but he wasn't coherent enough to catch it. "Get the hell out man, or there'll be words about _this_," I indicated to his and Rose's belligerent mess, "tomorrow."

They drunkenly stumbled out of the room, tripping on each other's feet in the process and laughing hysterically. I rolled my eyes.

So now Bella's top is fucking drenched in god knows what but it reeks like vodka and something sweet.

I shot her an apologetic glance. "Grab something from my closet and I'll find this friggin lighter."

She turned around and I couldn't help but check out her long, slender back; perfect shoulder blades poking out and those fuckin adorable back dimples exposed.

I found my lighter under a heap of mail and recalled what happened the last time Bella came across my mail and decided now wasn't the time to tell her about the early acceptance into Harvard I received the other day. I stashed it in my top desk drawer haphazardly, and walked over to the walk in closet.

The door was closed and I assumed she was changing so I went over to my bed and waited patiently, lighter in hand when holy fuck Bella comes out of the closet wearing nothing but one of my old wifebeaters and a pair of tiny pink really, _really_ low-rise boyshorts.

She blushed and I realized my mouth was literally hanging open; her tits were in plain sight under that sad excuse for a shirt and her nipples were erect and staring straight at me.

"Sorry, it's just that..." she stuttered, "well it's just that my pants got wet too and I didn't want to rummage through your drawers; all I could find lying around was this tank top folded on top of a pile of clean clothes and –"

"You're perfect," was all I could manage. She turned bright red and looked away and I quickly added, "I mean, no, that's perfectly fine." I didn't want to scare her away. But she _was_ perfect.

She gave me a small smile and looked down at the ground, blushing again.

I almost forgot how I managed to lure this perfect angel up to my bedroom when I remembered I owed her a smoke. "I found it," I held up my silver Zippo.

"Right," she added quickly noticing my lighter. "I almost forgot..."

"Shall we?"

She followed me on to the balcony and gasped. "It's beautiful out here," she said, looking up at the sky. It was filled with stars and I usually wouldn't notice shit like this, but she was right – it was beautiful.

"Ya, it's a nice night," I said, the cigarette dangling on the end of my lip as I struggled to light it.

She looked back down at me and I handed her the cigarette, but she shook her head. "Um, no thank you. I've actually got a bit of a sore stomach; I couldn't drink much because of it..."

"Do you need some pills or shit? We have a closet stocked with pharmaceuticals around here somewhere..." I didn't want her to have to bail and go home but I didn't want her to suffer with a sore stomach.

"No, no, I should be fine thanks." She looked me in the eyes again; she'd been doing this a lot tonight and it was almost as if she wanted to tell me something, but I didn't press her for it. All of a sudden she blushed and looked down at the ground, and then gazed back up at me through those sexy long lashes. If I didn't know any better, it almost looked like she batted her eyelashes at me.

Whatever it was, it was fucking sexy as _hell_.

"You know," she said quietly, so that it was barely audible "Maybe I could take you up on that hot tub offer again?" more blushing, "I mean, I _am_ all sticky and stuff," she added.

_Wow_.

She didn't have to ask twice and I grabbed two towels and led her downstairs to the hot tub.

"You can change in there" I said, pointing to the bathroom beside her.

"Thanks." She quietly shut the door behind her and I mentally kicked myself in the head for thinking that tonight was anything more than repairing what little friendship we had before our "falling out."

She stepped out in nothing but the towel and I was mesmerized by her body; it was all beautiful and smooth and creamy and just... _perfect_.

"I thought since its dark out, and we're both mature adults," she began; slowly walking toward me.

I gulped loudly as she approached me.

"And since we can keep our hands to ourselves, surely that won't be tough for you," she continued, slowly moving her hand toward the top of her towel tucking her dainty little finger inside it, "that I might just wear nothing." She pulled the towel and it dropped to the floor.

I gulped again. _Mother of God._

She had the most perfect, perky boobs and her tiny nipples were erect and looking straight at me. I looked down her sensuous stomach and rolling hips, looking at the cute little belly button that I used to see so much of in biology class. I prepared myself, and my cock, as I took in her sexy pussy – completely bare pussy, and I noticed the tiniest little red heart tattoo on her hipbone. _Fuckin tease._

Normally I'd think it was trashy but on Bella it was just so... _her_.

_Her_ in the same fashion as her Chuck Taylor's and trucker hats; biker boots and her leather jackets one day and Birkenstocks the next. Only she could pull of these looks so perfectly, so fucking irresistibly.

Everything about her was perfect and it took every ounce of strength in my body to restrain myself.

It's not about _this_ tonight. It's about making her comfortable around you, and said intention is _not_ achieved by fucking the shit out of her in your hot tub.

_You will act like the gentleman you mother should have raised you to be. _

Another loud gulp and I shook the thoughts out of my head.

"After you," I motioned toward the hot tub and she walked out in front of me; her ass was even more perfect than I could have imagined under those boyshorts; it was firm and juicy and so fucking tight; all I could envision was my hands rubbing up in between those long silky legs...

_Cullen, Focus!!_

Right.

_Hot tub. _

I followed Bella outside and she was already seated in the hot tub, the bubbles covering up her perfect body but not to the point where I couldn't see a distorted glimpse of it beneath the water.

She moaned and laid her arms out on either side, resting them against the hot tub; she looked delicious.

"Mmm. The water is so nice Edward, please come," she motioned for me to sit beside her.

The words alone nearly made me cum in my pants.

I tried to avoid the innuendos that could be derived from that statement and gave her the best crooked smile I could and turned around, tucking my dick in my swim shorts before taking my towel off.

"Oh no, no, _Sullen Cullen_, you take those shorts off." _What the fuck._ "I'm not sitting in here naked while you have full swim attire on." _Was she purposely testing my restraint? _

Gulp. "Alright" I whispered.

I slowly undid the string and pulled my shorts down, holding the towel in front of me so she wasn't scared off by my massive erection. It took all my strength to avoid jumping her bones right then and there.

I took a seat in the hot tub as far away from her as possible and she looked rather offended by this.

I would have loved to sit beside her, or grab her tiny little waist and prop her up on my lap and fondle her boobs and suck her nipples, but that would completely contradict all my hard work of trying to reconcile some sort of friendship. _It would get too serious... _

"I don't bite, you know," she purred seductively. _I wouldn't mind if you did..._

I took a deep breath and moved closer toward her, trying to keep a safe enough distance so that I wouldn't lose control. Fuck, I _really_ shouldn't have let myself build up for an entire fucking week.

I've never been so horny in my fuckin life and Bella Swan just increased my horniness exponentially.

I knew that if I started making out with her and groping her body she might either a) hit me and call the police or b) not be able to resist; the latter being the worst case scenario. We would start a relationship and I couldn't do that to her, I would fuck it up and run. I would never in a million years be able to have a functional relationship and Bella certainly wouldn't be my test run. But _oh that body, those legs, that stomach, her boobs..._ this was the ultimate test of my breaking point and I didn't feel safe in such close proximity.

I could hear the music pounding through the walls which brought me back down to earth; we were at a public fucking party and this was no place to take Bella Swan... even if for some unthinkable reason she wanted it just as bad as I did. _I don't even think that would be humanly possible... _

"Bella, I'm really, really sorry about everything," I looked her in the eyes and searched for some trace of hope that she would be willing to forgive me one day.

She snorted. _That can't be good._

"Edward Cullen does _not_ apologize," she said matter-of-factly.

"Um, well I guess I just did. Consider yourself lucky" I muttered. _Why did Edward Cullen have to be the world renowned asshole? _Oh right, because I _am_.

"Well I don't see what you're apologizing for. Does this mean you're folding on the challenge? Do you mean to imply that Edward Cullen can't _handle_ his female counterpart threatening his chance at some silly scholarship?" she said sharply. She then proceeded to _challenge_ me; "Are you _afraid_?" she crossed her arms over her chest and raised her eyebrow.

Oh man. I think I just groaned. _What a saucy minx._ Megan Fox's fuck-me attitude had nothing on Bella Swan's powers of seduction.

I was starting to wish I never played along with her silly games in the first place. I wanted this stupid scholarship ordeal to be over. I didn't fuckin need the money and the only reason I was doing this was for my own pride and glory; I wanted it because my father and grandfather received it, but also because a big part of me didn't want to face the humiliation of losing to Bella Swan. I was always so sure of myself and everyone knew that of me, and then she came along and I could barely hold my shit together around her.

"Bella," I said softly, and took a deep breath to calm my frustration. "I want you to go to the school of your choice –"

"Harvard." She cut in.

Really? I'd have thought she'd be more of a liberal arts type of girl; Arizona University or some shit.

I got up out of the hot tub and she turned her head away, giving me my privacy. _Because we're both mature adults..._ I tossed her a towel. "Come on, I need to show you something."

We went inside the back door and walked up to my bedroom, using the maid's stairwell (yes, yes I _know_... but this place was built in the seventeen hundreds or some shit) as to avoid the party and I tossed her a pair of my flannel pyjama pants and a baggy grey Harvard t-shirt I had lying around.

I led her to my bathroom and told her she could change and she was freaking out about what an amazing bathroom I had, and "oh this shower is the size of my entire bathroom" or some shit and I just told her to hurry up and change already.

I changed into a pair of jeans and Harvard tee I happened to have lying on the ground. Carlisle attended Harvard and kept getting these shirts in the mail for donating to their new medical building or some shit, so these things were scattered around my room arbitrarily.

She stepped out of the bathroom and my clothes were absolutely swimming on her but they looked cute as hell.

She was rubbing her eyes and I could tell she was tired; judging by the music – it had become quieter and slower – I assumed it was really fuckin late.

"Come here," I patted my hand on the bed for her to sit beside me. She eyed me sceptically and then sat down beside me.

"Just a sec," I got up and went over to my desk and grabbed my Harvard letter and my chequebook.

"Bella, I got early acceptance to Harvard," I began and her jaw dropped. I couldn't tell if she was mad or sad or was about to hit me across the face but was pleasantly surprised when she leaned in and gave me a hug. I could feel her bare boobs through the thin fabric of the t-shirt and that got me fucking _hard_.

I shifted around and grabbed a pillow to put on my lap, and handed her the letter.

She read it quickly, furrowing her brow every so often. "Oh my god, that's amazing Edward! This is freakin awesome!"she squealed. "Congrats!"

"Uh, thanks..." I was completely baffled by her reaction. "I swear, I had no clue that was your first choice of school too," I said, feeling bad for my early acceptance. I knew it was unlikely she got in early because my dad basically owned their new medical school, and although my grades were high enough to get me in, it was that extra push that likely got me in before anyone else. It definitely wasn't my entrance essay. I suppose the perfect SAT score (2400, thank you very much) didn't hurt either; but even so, it was fuckin November. Even early acceptance didn't officially start until February.

"No, don't feel bad Edward," she said quietly. "I got in too."

Um, what?

I fuckin froze. How the _hell_ did she pull that off? I mean I knew she was bright, but I didn't know she was abnormally intelligent. _Freak_. And she did it without bribery, too.

"Well somehow I pulled off a perfect SAT and my GPA has always been four-point-oh, so... well, I guess they didn't have any reservations," she said casually. "I mean I was surprised too," she noticed my dropped jaw, "But this is great for _you_," She said slowly, and I wondered what the hell she was so upset about, I mean she fuckin got into _Harvard_.

"But the scholarship," I began. Her face instantly dropped and she started fidgeting with the bottom of her shirt.

"Well, yah. That's why I'm not telling anyone about my early acceptance. I don't think I'll be going. Renee didn't leave me enough money, and... well, the Roosevelt is the only scholarship that will take care of my whole first year of expenses. I applied to Seattle and got in early there too, and I think I'll be accepting that one."

I couldn't believe how selfless she was. She was happy that I got into Harvard and all squealing about it, even though she also got in but couldn't go. I was almost jealous that she got early acceptance too until I heard she couldn't go at all, and now I just felt terrible about everything.

"Bella," I began, taking her hands. I was about to make a serious proposal and I didn't want her to underestimate how important this was for her future. She eyed me curiously and I dropped her hands and grabbed my chequebook.

_Pay to the order of Bella Swan the sum of Twenty Five Thousand dollars,_ I wrote, and scribbled my signature at the bottom. "Here," I ripped it out of the chequebook and passed her the cheque.

She gasped audibly and covered her mouth "Edward! There is no way I'm taking this" she said shaking her head vehemently, handing it back to me.

I shook my head in refusal. "I'm not asking you to, Bella. I know you wouldn't take my money that easily. So here," I paused, searching her face for some sign of appreciation or hope or anger or reluctance or _anything_; "Think of it as insurance. I'm not backing out of the scholarship because I'm not a quitter and I still want it as much as I ever did. But we're going to play this fair... or at least I am. If I win it, I want to win it honourably, knowing that I didn't have to destroy my friends in the process."

She slowly nodded her head in agreement, wondering what the hell kind of crazy plan I was pulling out of my ass.

"But if I do win, I want you to come to Harvard with me – as my friend. I'm not asking you to cash this cheque right away or at all even; just hold on to it and think about it. You know I have the money so don't let that be a deterrent. But don't expect me to back out of the race to win this thing. Just know that for me it's not about the money, and for you it is. Just because my motivation to win it is less... _crucial_ I suppose, doesn't mean I deserve it any less. When do you have to accept your offer of admission?"

"January," she replied in a voice that was less than audible.

I nodded my head. "Alright; so think about it – really. Harvard wouldn't be the same without you, kid" I nudged her shoulder and that tell-tale blush spread across her cheeks. I never knew if that blush meant she was embarrassed or what, but it was damn cute.

The music downstairs must have stopped awhile ago and the party quieted down; I imagined people were passed out in everywhere, leaving no room safe or quiet enough for Bella to sleep soundly.

Luckily people knew not to intentionally destroy shit, but there were always people strewn all over every leather couch in the place and people sneaking their way into the various guest bedrooms – we had ten in total I believe – doing god knows what. I always had to call a small army of cleaning ladies the day after one of my infamous debaucheries.

Bella was stretching out on my bed and looked so peaceful lying there on top of the covers, snuggled up in my baggy pyjamas.

"You should sleep" I said, and she attempted to cover up a big yawn.

She looked slightly disappointed; "Yah, I'll walk home I guess."

_Silly, silly girl. Yes, walk home sexy nearly naked potentially mildly intoxicated girl so you can get raped. _

_On second thought, I wasn't any less tempted..._ Comparing my sexual intensity toward Bella to that of a rapist's was very unbecoming of me.

"Bella, are you crazy? It's like" I glanced at my Omega, "Two thirty in the morning. And as if the entire school and then some aren't passed out in my living room. Stay here," I insisted.

"I'll sleep on the couch," she said, getting up from her comfortable spot on my huge bed.

"Don't be ridiculous. That couch isn't comfortable for sleeping on. I'll take it and you stay put."

She hesitated, and then crawled under my huge feather duvet, and looked utterly in heaven as she sprawled out. She looked like a starfish; her tiny body stretched out in the middle of my huge bed.

"If there's enough room for eight people in this bed then there's enough room for you," she said quietly, moving to the farthest side of the bed indicating me to lie down beside her. She gave me a hopeful look and I only obliged because my feelings for her were so strange and unfamiliar; although I strongly feared my horny self would pounce her, I knew deep down I wanted her to be safe and warm in my arms.

I agreed and took off my shirt then laid down on the opposite side of the bed. I could hear her breathing and could smell her hair; it smelt sweet and perfect like strawberries mixed with absolute heaven.

I took a deep breath, greedily inhaling her scent, and closed my eyes. Her breathing quieted down and I assumed she was already dozing off.

"Good night Bella," I said quietly.

"Good night Edward," she whispered back.

I moved in closer so I was nearly touching her. I wanted to move in and hug her and bang her and do so many other impure things to sweet little Bella Swan, but I held myself back.

_Enough, now. _That's enough for tonight.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Still don****'****t own Twilight. S Meyer does. **

**ALSO! I have some pretty exciting news! I have a new Beta whom I love dearly for putting up with all my grammatically incorrect writing and editing the crap out of it so it makes for a better story. Many, many, many thanks go to ****Leon McFrenchington for these services. Thank you Leon!! **

**ALSO ALSO... You can thank Leon for making Edward Cullen have an eight pack rather than a six pack. So much hotter! Thanks for pointing that out, Leon! **

**BPOV**

Somehow, despite fighting with every bone in my body, Alice and Rose managed to drag me out onto enemy lines and enter Edward Cullen's mansion for the "biggest fuckin' house party of the year!!!"

And now I was lying in his bed beside _him_ – Mr. Speak-of-the-Devil himself.

The long night that led me to finally be here – beside him – was complex and confusing.

When I first saw him at the party ,I wanted nothing to do with his smug self and was mad at the fact that he was fucking this Leah chick, as irrational as that anger really was.

The whole time I was seducing the crap out of him, I thought I was at least having some influence on him. But tonight he made it clear he was not affected by me. For some ridiculous reason – far beyond my humanly control – my female urges got the best of me and I wanted to fuck the living daylights out of Edward motherfucking Cullen.

Or as Alice tells me, Edward _Anthony_ Cullen.

_Sigh_.

What a dreamy name.

I made so many overt sexual attempts that no guy would refuse; I played the whole "I'm sticky and need to be washed in your hot tub" charade – I mean, _COM'ON_!

I traipsed around in nothing but a see-through flimsy wifebeater and my boyshorts and – _nothing_. I fucking stripped out of my towel in front of him and – _nothing_. I suppose compared to the chicks he was in the habit of banging such as Tanya, Leah, Megan Fox and the like, my body wasn't anything he'd be interested in. I was being silly thinking that Edward Cullen would actually want me – Bella Swan – clumsy and skinny and not a supermodel. I mean, an oil painting I was _not_.

So now I'm here, lying beside him in this boat he calls a bed. I'm just kidding; it's not actually that big. It's larger than a king sized bed but "modest" enough that I am only lying a few mere inches away from _him_. I swear to god he just moved closer.

To put things into perspective, if your average king sized bed can comfortably fit four people, then this could comfortably fit five or six. _I wonder if he__'__s ever had five or six girls in this bed. _Based on the stories I'd heard from Rosalie, it would be safe enough to assume he's at _least_ had a ménage a trois. I mean he _did_ party in Europe all summer long... and those Europeans can probably get pretty freaky. And Italian girls don't shave; I wonder if he has some weird armpit hair fetish.

_Omigod, listen to yourself Bella! Get a grip!_ So what if you're laying in bed beside the man who would put Michelangelo's David to shame. So what if you have your very own Adonis tickling your neck with his breath.

Also, if I didn't know any better, I would think he just smelled my hair. _Did I wash it today? What if it stinks? Oh god... Edward Cullen smelled my greasy hair. I am done for._

I wanted him to do so many things to me. When I caught a glimpse of his perfectly sculpted body in the hot tub I nearly fainted. I know one thing's for sure, I certainly was so fuckin' wet at the thought of him being naked – beside me – in a hot tub.

And then now, when he just took off his t-shirt to lie in bed beside me, I nearly fainted _again_. Good thing he works at the hospital; that might come in handy for when I nearly faint every time he looks in my direction.

I could hear him breathing quietly and I didn't know if he was sleeping or not. I wonder if he's even tired. _I__'__m sure as hell not._ I glanced over at the bedside table and didn't see an alarm clock but I saw his Blackberry which would most definitely have the time on it. I didn't possess such technology so I had no way of checking the time.

Perfect excuse.

"Edward?" I whispered, trying to be quiet in case he was actually sleeping.

"Yes Bella?" he replied, perfectly awake and perfectly swoon-worthy. His voice was so wonderful and perfect and soft. He had a voice that was so distinct and so sexy, I wanted to hear it again and again.

"Do you know what time it is?"

_Wow. That was lame. So he__'__ll tell you the time. And then what? Hmm? Then, because of the time, he__'__ll suddenly want to fuck you?_

"Uh, no, I don't, but you can grab my phone off the table and check," he said, rolling on to his back and stretching his arms under his head.

"`kay."

Lame... lame... lame. I picked up his Blackberry to see a nearly naked Scarlett Johansson as his phone's background photo. _Did he fuck her too?_ And what the hell was I doing with this phone again? Oh right... the time. Two forty-two.

"It's 2:42," I said; as if that was actually of importance.

"That's, uh, good...?" he replied, clearly thinking I was the most incoherent and stupid girl ever.

Okay, Bella, you've seen the movies. You know how to mack your way into this guy's pants. You've done it lots before in Phoenix and even though they were sad excuses for men compared to Edward Cullen, guys are guys. Edward Cullen is a man and men have urges they can't resist.

"Edward?" I said, in the quietest, shyest voice I could muster, which came out more like a squeak.

"Hmm?"

He was staring up at the ceiling and my back was facing him; I turned around so I could look him in the eyes.

"I'm a little bit cold," I said, looking into his deep topaz eyes. I'd been mesmerized by those eyes all night and they looked warm and inviting through the moon light that was seeping through the windows.

"Well, I could go turn up the heat if you like," he said, turning to face me.

_Was he seriously not getting my subtle hints? Hello?!_

"Or I could grab you a sweater," he said, practically jumping out of the bed and stumbling over to his closet.

_Humph._

He returned with a brown merino wool Lacoste sweater. I obviously wasn't cold at all; in fact I was a bit warm. He handed it to me and I took it, wondering what the hell to do about this clueless and hopeless pursuit. _Screw wool._

"Actually, I was wondering if maybe you could just move in closer to me." I felt my face heat up rapidly and I must have looked like a tomato. Thank god it was dark so he wouldn't notice.

He took a deep breath and then slowly and cautiously moved in closer to me. I now had my back turned to him and he was so close to touching me but wouldn't make the extra step. I moved back right into him and I heard a soft groan escape his mouth.

And then I felt it – Edward hardening from my touch. He could reject me all night long but with one simple move his body told me _everything_ I needed to know.

I took advantage of my confidence gained by this revelation and leaned even further into him, so that we were in a perfect spooning position. He took a deep breath, exhaled slowly and then wrapped his arm around me. _I just about melted._

He didn't try and hide the fact that he was so aroused – not that there was any way of denying that now. I sighed deeply and suddenly felt safe in Edward's arms.

After Renee died and I packed up and left Arizona, I never thought I'd feel at home again. But right here and right now in Edward's arms, I was home.

"Good night, Edward Cullen."

He inched in closer so that his face was nuzzled into my neck. He was so close that his sweet breath lingered on my face, and I breathed it in, greedily inhaling his scent.

I could feel each and every breath he took on the back of my neck and it gave me Goosebumps and made my entire body tingle.

"Good night, Bella Swan," he whispered into my ear.

I fell asleep to the steady sound of his breathing.

****

I woke up to the sun shining in my eyes through the two large French doors.

_I don__'__t have French doors. _

I froze.

I forgot where I was and quickly came to, realizing that I was in Edward's room.

_Holy fuck; I was in Edward Cullen__'__s bed. _

I felt Edward's strong arm holding me tightly and slowly wiggled loose so I could turn around and see his face.

When I wiggled from his grip he groaned and I was afraid I'd woken him up.

Edward was absolutely gorgeous while sleeping; he looked so peaceful.

His mop of hair was waywardly sticking out and his face was slightly flushed from his deep sleep. His lips were slightly parted and he slowly licked them. I nearly _died_.

His eyes fluttered open and I didn't know if my staring at him when he woke up would creep the hell out of him.

"Mmmm, good morning, beautiful," he yawned and nuzzled his face deeper into my neck.

It felt _amazing_.

I wondered how this whole thing would work. He clearly was aroused by me last night but that could have been a result of the booze and drug cocktail that was likely running through his body – his damn sexy body.

The fact that he blatantly rejected my innumerable attempts of seducing him either meant a) he really wasn't into me or b) he had really, really fucking good (bad for me) self control. Why he felt he had to hold back while I chilled naked with him in the hot tub, I don't know.

He got up and stretched, his perfect back muscles flexing and he looked so friggin' delicious; I wanted him to take me right then and there. _On his desk._

"Hey I'm gonna take a shower, you're welcome to sleep in or grab some breakfast if you can make it to the kitchen through the throngs of passed out people in my house," he shook his head in amazement. "I can't believe I'm not even hung-over after my own party." He glanced out the window and squinted at the bright light. "What time is it by the way?"

I grabbed his phone and checked; "Ten thirty."

"Alright, do you wanna shower first, or can I?" He was being such a gentleman; it was so unlike the Edward Cullen I was used to seeing.

"You go ahead. I'm gonna lay here and enjoy the sun for a bit longer."

He headed to his ensuite bathroom; it was on the other side of his massive bedroom and he didn't close the door all the way as he went into the shower. I wondered if it'd be awfully naughty of me to peak. Or, I could inconspicuously stumble in looking for a toothbrush.

I'd best just wait.

I got up and stretched, and glanced around his room. I noticed the photo of his mother was removed from his desk. I don't blame him.

_What a bitch she was._

I noticed a stack of magazines on his desk; _Maxim_, _FHM_, _Sports Illustrated_ and _GQ_. Typical for a seventeen year old guy I suppose. Underneath the stash of magazines the word "Harvard" caught my eye; I pushed away the magazines and there was a Harvard course calendar. I received one with my early acceptance and circled all the courses I'd plan on taking if I ever went there.

_His offer. _I remembered him writing out a cheque in my name last night. I had stuck it in my pants pocket; hopefully they were lying around here somewhere.

My dream could come true and all I would have to do is pay Edward back, and likely he'd reject my attempt to pay him back anyway.

His Blackberry vibrated and I picked it up, wondering what that meant. One new message.

Hmm... _put the Blackberry down, Bella, and no one gets hurt. _

"So we're friends, right?" I heard Edward say behind me.

Shit! I was holding his fucking Blackberry.

I turned around and he was wearing nothing but a towel and holy crow; his hair was wet and mussed from the shower but it looked so perfect. Water droplets glistened in his hair and body, and his arms and pecs and eight-pack--that's right, not six--looked so fuckin incredible. He was toned without being bulky; his body was the perfect compromise between Emmett's bear-like structure and Jasper's lean build. He had a little treasure trail from his belly button downward and his towel was wrapped around his waist, blocking the view of what I really wanted to see.

"Um, _this_ vibrated and I didn't know what that meant so here..." I handed it to him, avoiding his eyes because I was already blushing so much.

"Yah, nothing important," he tossed it on his bed without checking who it was from, maintaining eye contact with me the whole time.

"And yeah, we're friends," I added.

I noticed my reflection in the huge mirror and I was all dishevelled and wearing his baggy pyjamas. I didn't pull off the "just got out of bed" look as sexily as Edward. I punched him lightly on the chest and felt his pecks harden instinctively.

"I can't wait to check out this waterfall you call a shower" I said, walking over to the bathroom.

"Oh, if you want to see an actual waterfall shower, we have one of those outside by the pool. The walls are made of actual rocks and shit, from some place in Bermuda or some crap. But yeah, my shower's not bad either. It does the trick." He grinned, as if he was making an inside joke.

I swayed my hips as I walked into the bathroom hoping that would have some effect on his dick.

I left the door completely open and walked over to his shower; unfortunately, his bathroom was L-shaped so he wouldn't be able to see me naked from his bedroom unless he entered the bathroom. I was still hoping to get a rise out of him.

I took a deep breath, inhaling his scent that lingered stronger than ever from his hot shower. The mirrors were still all fogged up.

The bathroom was very large and followed a grey and white color scheme, with the exception of that beautiful shower.

I turned on the shower and stepped inside; it was literally the size of my bathroom back in Phoenix.

The walls comprised ocean blue and sand brown mosaic tiles, and the floor consisted of large square tiles. Overall the bathroom looked like it was brand new. The water was flowing out of a massive shower head and there was no glass or shower curtain around the shower, it was all just open-concept. I squirted a bit of Kiehl's shampoo on my palm and massaged it into my hair; it smelt citrusy and yummy and just like Edward's hair always smelled.

I stepped out of the shower and walked over to the vanity, wondering what kind of products Edward used. There was a massive mirror, stretching from above the huge marble sink all the way to a set of bright lights near the ceiling.

There was a huge marble shelf in front of me stocked full with all his shaving stuff and shampoos; this guy looked a little high maintenance from his selection of grooming products.

I ran my fingers along the various bottles; The Art of Shavingpre-shave oil, shaving cream, after-shave balm; then an array of colognes ranging from The Art of Shaving Sandalwood eau de toilette to Acqua Di Gio.

I next noticed an indulgent looking razor set and a series of tweezers and nail scissors; they were shiny and silver and sharp and cold and painstakingly lined up in order of height. _OCD much?_

The first thing that crossed my mind was Patrick Bateman's morning routine:

_In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I__'__ll put on an icepack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the icepack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water-activated gel cleanser. Then a honey-almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb mint facial masque, which I leave on for ten minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm, followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion... And though I can hide my cold gaze... and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours... and maybe you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable, I simply am not there. _

I felt a sharp pain in the pit of my stomach and it hit me; what if this guy was a fucking psycho serial killer like Patrick Bateman. No, no, that's obviously not possible.

But in all seriousness, what if he is just as cold, and just as deranged?

What if all Edward Cullen's erratic and inexplicable behaviours were all an attempt to hide himself – shield himself – from the world; from exposing himself and who he really is?

My stomach was now completely in knots.

"Hey, Cullen," I called out at him as I walked into his bedroom in nothing but a towel. "You ever hear of Patrick Bateman?" I said jokingly.

"You mean my idol?" he called back. I walked over to him and he was standing there in a blue and white striped button down shirt and khakis. He pulled a navy blue Lacoste sweater over top of his shirt, leaving the bottom of the shirt sticking out from under the sweater.

"So you idolize a psychopath serial killer?" I retorted, mildly offended by his mention of this creep as his idol.

"He _is_ a Wall Street investment banker after all," he added, slipping into a pair of deck shoes.

"Humph. Coincidentally so," I looked him up and down, surveying his outfit. "Are you going yachting, Edward Cullen?"

"No, _we_ are going to the hunt club for brunch. Of course, we'll have to swing by your place to find something appropriate for you to wear, if you own such attire. Strict dress code says no Chuck Taylor's and leather jackets. Sorry, doll," he joked, and grabbed his car keys off his desk.

"I still have your Volvo you know," I informed him, wondering where he hoped to go with keys and no car, and hoping that would put a damper on his plans to take me to this absurd country club.

"And that's why we're taking the _other_ car," he grinned. The _other_ car, Bruce Wayne?

He skipped down the stairs, avoiding the random unconscious people along his staircase.

"Guh," he shuddered. "They fuckin' puke on the expensive Persians and it's impossible to get the stench out."

He led me through some long hallways; the walls were covered with expensive paintings and portraits, with only the dim picture lights shedding enough light to make it through the halls. The eyes of the people in the portraits eerily followed my gaze as I walked past them.

We finally arrived at a big doorway and I followed him inside to an impressive garage. There were six cars in total, some of which I recognized and others that I didn't. There was an empty spot were the Volvo belonged.

"This," he said walking up to an expensive looking shiny black car, "is my baby. Compliments of my dead grandpa Masen. He left it in his will that I'd get a sick car for my sixteenth birthday and I got this."

Huh. My grandparents gave me a card with a twenty dollar bill inside. His grandpa gives him enough money to buy a fuckin' Ferrari or whatever the hell this was.

He opened the door for me and I took a seat, feeling the difference between the plush black leather of this car and even the Volvo. It was definitely an impressive ride.

"Ferrari?" I asked as he shoved some sort of remote key fob into a slot on the black leather and silver brushed chrome front dash and pressed a button. It roared and the engine sounded fuckin' sexy.

"Oh, _please,_ Bella," he said, rather offended, "That's just ostentatious. Aston Martin; Vantage."

Oh yes, much less ostentatious.

He cautiously backed out of the garage and gently shifted into the second gear as we slowly rolled out of the driveway. As soon as we hit the pavement of the road, he sped up rapidly, expertly shifting into third gear and speeding up until he shifted into the fifth. You could tell the car was just dying to go faster by the sound of the revving engine and the way he was handling the car made it look like _sex_.

With every perfectly mastered shift of the stick I could see the muscles of his arms tighten and the veins in his hands pulse, and I couldn't help but draw a comparison between the stick shift and a phallus.

He caught me staring at his gorgeous hand and I must have possessed the look of absolute lust.

"You wanna give my baby a try?" he asked, glancing at me then down at the shifter.

I nearly choked.

"Only very, _very_ special girls get to touch my gear shifter," a small smirk formed at the corner of his lips, "and only special ones can actually operate it."

I just about _died_.

"Al-alright," I stuttered.

"Ok," he said, removing his hand from the stick, "I am obviously going to do the clutch and I'll hold your hand and direct shifting until you can handle it on your own." He slowed down the speed and I guessed we were in first gear. I glanced at the speed and we were going 40 mph.

I nodded and gently placed my hand on the stick shift, feeling the smooth and tight leather beneath my fingers. It was warm from his hand holding it.

"Ok, so now we're basically crawling," he said, taking a quick glance at the road, "And now I'm gonna shift, so go over once and up," he instructed, and I could feel the car jump a bit as I shifted.

"_Shit_! Whew. Ok, take it easy there," he said, taking in a deep breath to calm down. He likely wanted to kill me.

"Alright, try this shit again, and gently, Bella. Operating a stick takes certain finesse... something you're definitely lacking."

Humph. I'll show him finesse.

I glided my hand slowly over the shifter and then tightly cupped my hand around it, expertly shifting as he called it out. I mentally envisioned the gears as I shifted with ease without needing to look down at the stick; third gear is straight down, fourth up then right and up again.

"Shit, Swan! You don't even have to look down!" he exclaimed once he realized I was totally playing him "And you're using your left hand!" He sounded genuinely impressed.

"Yah, I guess those are the perks of driving an old Volkswagen stick your whole life," I said causally, shifting into third smoothly.

"You know Bella, one day you just might get to take this car out for a test drive," he said, still grinning and impressed with my ace shifting skills. "But not yet," he added quickly. "It's still much too soon."

_Sure it is, Edward Cullen. _

We stopped at my house to grab my clothing and Edward felt it was absolutely necessary to search my wardrobe for something appropriate.

"I'm perfectly capable to dress myself," I insisted.

He disregarded my comment and shifted through the clothing in my wardrobe. "Some of this shit is dreadful," he said, pulling out a ratty band tee that I'd cherished since I was fourteen.

He settled on me wearing a plain cream cashmere turtleneck that Esme had given me paired with a pair of basic black pants and I fought as best I could to wear my Chuck Taylor's; no dice but I could slip them on as soon as we left the club. Until then, black heels had to suffice.

After he was satisfied with my attire he led me back to the car and we drove off.

We drove down a long curvy driveway right to the front door of what appeared to be this hunt club. It certainly was a yuppie environment; as we passed the parking lot I noticed it was filled with fine European sports cars.

Edward tossed his keys to a valet standing at the front door. "Greetings, Mr. Cullen," he said, taking a bow.

Edward nodded at him and walked inside, and holy crow was this place ever extravagant. Every little thing about it breathed old money. It was definitely a stuffy environment, full of large wooden trophy cases and oil paintings of old fashioned hunting.

Edward led me into a large dining room and we took a seat beside a window overlooking the beautiful golf course greens.

A tall thin redhead in her early twenties hurried over to our table, and I swear to god she shot me the evil eye before looking over at Edward. She wore a tight black cocktail turtleneck dress with a strand of pearls and had her lovely red hair neatly smoothed back in a prim bun. She wore an expensive looking watch and minimal makeup and looked just like the type of chick Edward would bring home to Carlisle.

"Mr. Cullen, what a wonderful surprise!" the tall thin red haired beauty said, looking directly in Edward's beautiful topaz eyes. "Will you have your usual?" she said, leaning way further into him than necessary as she laid out napkins and cutlery on the table.

"Yes I will, Victoria. And whatever Bella would like," he said, not even looking away from this chick he was clearly hot for.

"I'll get a diet Coke," I said coldly.

"Right, _diet_ it is. I'll be right back with your drinks, _Edward_." She said and walked away briskly.

He was still staring at her ass long after she left the table and when he noticed I'd caught him he just grinned at me.

"So why aren't you tapping that?" I said coldly and I noticed I'd spoke rather loudly because a proper elderly couple shot a horrified glance at our table from across the room.

Edward adjusted the collar on his shirt uncomfortably and looked around before answering. "I am," he said in a quieter voice, "Every fuckin' Tuesday, after my tennis match." He shot me a look that said 'satisfied?'

I rolled my eyes.

She brought back my Coke and I swear to god it wasn't even diet. Edward drank his scotch in silence, barely looking at me.

Victoria returned to take our orders which gave her another opportunity to flirt with him incessantly.

Before we left the club Victoria called out "I'll see you Tuesday, Edward," earning the biggest fuckin' grin from Edward I'd ever seen.

I guess the Edward Cullen I saw was his pithy attempt of getting me to like him so I would take him up on his offer and drop the scholarship. The Edward I saw last night was a fake and a phony and was nothing like the real Edward who was a creep and a man-whore.

But the fucker still had it in him to ask; "So, what do you want to do for the rest of the day?"

"Edward, you need to be straight with me," I said as we sped along the highway back to wherever we were headed.

"Ok..." he said dubiously, wondering what kind of commitment that required of him. "If you're going to ask me can you drive my Vantage the answer is _no_," he added firmly.

"No, I'm not going to ask if I can drive your car. I already have one of those, remember?"

He furrowed his brow at the road.

"The Volvo..." I said.

"Oh yah, right," he chucked to himself. "I forgot about that. I guess I should take that back already, eh?"

"Whatever," I shook my head. "That's not the point. I don't drive it anyway..." I looked over at Edward. "Jake does."

Well, holy crow, if I've ever been freakin' terrified with Edward it was _then_.

He slammed on the breaks in the middle of the road disregarding the need to shift down four gears before doing so or looking behind him for traffic.

He pulled onto the soft shoulders and turned off the ignition and looked at me in absolute disbelief. "What the FUCK did you just say?" he spat.

He was glaring daggers into my soul and I couldn't look away; despite being furious and probably about to kill me, Edward looked _amazing_. He looked filled with passion and anger and it made his eyes so much more intense and beautiful.

For some reason, I wasn't afraid though. I knew Edward wouldn't hurt me. The only thing he might do is yell really friggin' loud and then likely kill Jake. I was more worried about Jake than anything else.

"I said..." I cleared my throat, not looking away from his eyes. "I said Jake drives your Volvo. I sit in the passenger seat."

Edward took a deep breath and his hands tightened around the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white.

"If. That. Fucker," he began, his voice shaking with anger, "ever touches my fuckin' car again. If he ever does as much as _breathe_ on it. If he even steps too close to it. I. Will. Kill. Him."

I gulped, fearful of what would happen to Jake. "I promise, Edward," I said softly.

With another deep breath and some muttering about needing cigarettes, we were back on the road.

"Are you taking me home now?" I asked, a little impatient that he felt he could just kidnap me for the day. I didn't recognize where we were but I assumed it was just a route I hadn't taken before.

"No, I'm not," he said casually.

"But Edward! It's noon. I have shit to do today. I was supposed to hang out with Jasper."

I swear to god I saw a cheeky grin form on his lips. "Jasper, eh?"

"Yes. And if you don't mind, I can't bail on our plans."

"When were you meeting him?"

I didn't see what this had to do with anything. "Two o'clock. We were gonna get high and then he was going to teach me to paint."

Edward shifted around in his seat, not taking his eyes off the road for a minute and grabbed his Blackberry out of his back pocket. He handed it to me.

"You better call Jasper and tell him you're not gonna make it."

"Why not?"

"Because we're already half-way to Seattle."

What?! That smug little bastard.

"What the fuck, Edward Cullen! You can't just fuckin' steal me for the day! That's illegal!"

This was going to be a miserable fucking day! He'd drag me around all these fancy stores and hit on every store clerk in the city who probably already knows him from head to toe.

Argh! I was panicking and he was enjoying my facial expressions as I did so.

He let out a heavy laugh, an unusual one I hadn't heard before – it was heartier and more... genuine.

"Well, I just thought since you work at Starbucks and all that you might like to see the headquarters of the company you work for. And also, you could use a day away from Jasper and that kid, _Jake_," he spit out Jake's name as if it were profane.

I looked out the window to contemplate; I decided that I wouldn't win this battle and I might as well enjoy grilling Edward.

"As I was saying before we got onto the um..." I wasn't sure if I should mention the Volvo again, "our day's plans... I think you need to be straight with me."

"Yah, okay, I already agreed to that" he said casually, motioning with his hand to get on with my point.

"Right. Well I just want to know, since we're friends and all – strictly platonic friends – just how many chicks you're banging... right now."

He took a breath and seemed to be counting in his head. _That many, eh, Cullen?_

"Hmm..." he said, still calculating.

He shuffled around in the centre console and grabbed his Ray-Ban wayfarers and slid them on.

He looked like absolute _sex_.

I shuffled around in my purse for the aviators Jasper gave me and followed suit.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Edward said, noticing my shades. "Are those Oliver Peoples?"

I was confused. Was that a brand? "Um, I think so..."

"Okay. First of all, I _know_ you're not cool enough to know what they are, let alone own a pair."

"You caught me," I put my hands up, mocking defeat; "They're Jazz's."

"Ah, of course they are," Edward said bitterly. "They would be, wouldn't they?" he asked rhetorically.

"First of all, what the hell do you have against Jasper anyway?" I needed to know why he held such a grudge against Jasper, but more so I needed to know why Jasper held such a grudge against him.

"Eh. Nothing much," Edward said, looking at me then shifting his eyes back to the road. "Those aviators suit you, you know that?"

Gah. _A compliment from Edward Cullen. _

I blushed a little and looked down. I noticed I was still wearing those god awful heels and was thankful I insisted on bringing my Converse. I grabbed them from behind my seat and slid them on; they felt like heaven after wearing those blister-inducing heels.

"Edward, I'm not content with your response. You at least owe me an explanation as to why he beat your ass so much. I mean, it couldn't have been all about me."

Edward furrowed his brow and shifted down a gear and pulled off the exit. "Well I think you underestimate yourself, Bella. Jasper loves you, but you know that. And aside from that, we were good friends but he was always bugging me about dating my cousin; and well, let's just say Jasper's not completely inexperienced in the bedroom."

"Neither is Alice," I interjected.

"Yeah, and I took that into consideration. I decided, though, that it's none of my business and I knew how much Alice wanted to be with Jasper so I'm now just letting things run their course."

We pulled into a gas station and he parked right in front of the door diagonally, taking up two spaces.

"But yeah, that ass kicking was all you. And whatever other personal vendetta he's got on me, well that's still a mystery to me. But I'm not too worried. I mean I beat him out of hanging out with you today," he said, grinning widely, which nearly made my heart explode. "I'll be right back."

While he was in the store I took it as an opportunity to check out my appearance in the mirror.

_Not bad... _

I smiled to myself, thinking smugly that he was choosing to hang out with me and not any of the other sluts he was screwing, so that's got to count for something.

I still had to get a number from him on that topic...

**EPOV**

I grabbed two diet Cokes and a pack of cigarettes and paid with my AmEx black, which resulted in two heavy glares from the skids in line behind me. They looked like your typical street urchins, dirty as fuck and grimy; I was surprised they didn't attempt to beat my ass and steal my car with Bella still in it.

I didn't pay them any attention and walked back to my car. Bella was sitting there, cute as fuck, checking herself out in the visor mirror. She quickly flipped it shut when she saw me coming.

"Here," I said, handing her a Coke. She maladroitly cracked it open, spurting Coke across the car on the leather seats and dashboard.

Fuck. _Don__'__t freak out, don__'__t freak out, don__'__t freak out..._

I grimaced at her and opened my door, holding the Coke over the pavement and opening it a little more tactfully.

I pulled out a smoke and lit it and pulled back onto the highway.

"You want one?" I held out the pack of smokes toward Bella.

"Sure," she took one and I held my Zippo over her cigarette, steering with my knees as I lit it.

I took a deep breath, greedily inhaling the nicotine that I so desperately craved. I slowly exhaled and Bella followed suit but with much less urgency. I could tell she wasn't usually a smoker – of cigarettes at least. I knew she had a nasty habit of getting high all the time with Jasper though.

_Hippie. _

"So, how many people are you fucking right now?" she spat out at me, sounding a little irritated that I had so tactfully driven the conversation astray the first time she asked.

"Well to be perfectly honest, I need to think about that for a moment. Plus, the way you posed the question leaves so much room for interpretation," I said, looking over at her and giving her a cocky grin. I pulled my hands through my hair; it was so fucking long at this point and it felt so good to run my fingers through it. I did this for a few minutes until I consciously stopped; I probably looked like I was stressed about this question when I clearly wasn't.

"Okayyy..." Bella said, tilting her head thoughtfully. I noticed she did this sometimes when she was thinking in bio; she'd cock her head to the side and bite her bottom lip and look up into the ceiling or some shit. It was really fuckin' cute. "How many chicks do you sleep with on a regular basis? If I asked you how many you've done in your life I think we'd be here all day while you tried to tally it up, and I personally have no desire to hear about all of _them_," she spat.

She sounded utterly offended about the whole topic, and I was wondering why she wanted to know this so badly anyway. Why initiate something that bugs you?

"Alright well on a regular basis I'd say, let me see; Leah, Victoria, Tanya, and then Stanley and/or Mallory when I don't have anything better to do." As the words came out of my mouth, they sounded a lot sleazier than I thought possible.

"Humph," was all Bella could muster.

I have always been completely honest about my sex life, so why would I feel the need to cover it up now?

"Alright," I said, trying to phrase this so I would make her feel better. "If you're really concerned, I use protection with all of them so I don't have any diseases."

Well the look she gave me indicated she was _not_ thinking about that aspect. She shuddered in disgust and I looked back at the road.

We were silent for a few minutes so I turned on my iPod and Kings of Leon blasted through the speakers. I turned the volume down so it was low enough that we could still have a conversation.

"Bella..." I said, worried about her silence. "If it makes you feel better, what I have with those chicks is nothing _but_ sex. There's nothing emotional about it. The only emotional shit I've ever experienced with a girl has been with you. And waking up to you this morning was amazing. You smell so fucking good."

She blushed furiously and then looked down at her feet. She pondered this for a few minutes, and I was anticipating her response. I seriously had no clue where I stood with her and I needed to find out.

"Edward, I really like you as a friend. But I can't help but wonder if I'll just turn into another one of your fuck buddies. You're too scattered to give a damn about anyone. So with you, is it either strictly platonic like Rosalie, or strictly sex, like with Tanya and all them? Well I guess not Tanya because she's your girlfriend."

"Whatever I had with Tanya is over," I said firmly. "But I do know that if you don't want me to fuck you up and break your heart, it's best if we stay friends. Or fuck buddies. But I like you too much to want to just fuck you, although it would be fucking incredible to do so. But I enjoy spending time with you, you're a cool chick."

She snorted again and opened her mouth to say something but closed it. I pulled onto one of the busier streets in Seattle and parked my car at a meter outside Starbucks. Everyone on the street was fuckin' staring and that's when I realized I didn't usually drive my Aston around the city.

"Well alright Edward Cullen," Bella said conclusively. "Friends."

****

My day with Bella in Seattle was just exactly how I imagined a date would be with someone I cared about. We did all sorts of couples shit like eating at a restaurant and walking through the park, and I swear to god I didn't even put up a fuss about shopping with her because she was so irresistible every time she stepped out of the dressing room for me to approve or disapprove of an outfit.

I insisted on paying for all her purchases because I knew she couldn't afford it but also because I did sort of kidnap her here. She put up an epic fight but after realizing she wasn't going to win with me just sort of accepted it and sulked.

That act was gone halfway through the day when she was freely spending my money in the bookstore on all these classics that I'd read but I didn't want to let on that I'd been interested in classic literature. She had good taste though, I'll give her that. I browsed the business section of the bookstore like a fuckin' prick and picked out a few books on how to run a multi-million dollar company. I snorted at the recollection and looked over at my desk where the books laid, still in the bookstore bag. I already earned myself a small fortune from giving the stock market a try; I'd acquired over two hundred grand last year from my investments alone.

I flopped back on my bed right on the spot where Bella had slept last night. Her smell still lingered on the pillow and it gave me a weird feeling in my stomach; kind of a feeling I got when I'd just eaten a good meal or pounded out a good composition on my piano.

_Satisfied, _maybe?

I looked at my Blackberry and it was ten o'clock.

What I would give to have Bella Swan in my bed with me again tonight. I laid back down and started thinking about how I convinced her to buy those sexy tight ass jeans at Nordstrom and how she blew about three hundred bucks at Free People; she loved all the folksy shit there that was apparently in fashion.

I thought about how she begged me to let her get this vintage band tee at a sketchy record store we visited and how I was afraid I was going to get mugged; how she grabbed my arm instinctively when we passed a creepy as hell stoner and he looked at her a little too suggestively for her comfort. I didn't beat the guy like I normally would but shot him a glance that he wouldn't fuckin' cross if he had half a brain.

I had an incredible day with Bella. I never thought being sober for an entire day would be so entertaining.

I thought of possible ways I could get her to come over that wouldn't seem desperate or intentional.

_Bella, you forgot your clothes from last night... _

That might not actually be a bad one.

I picked up my phone and dialed her number; it drove me crazy that she didn't just have a cell phone. Every time I called the house there was a risk of me having to talk to Rose and Rose was just prying – all the fuckin' time. She needed to know what was going on and that just bugged me.

Luckily, Bella answered on the second ring. I took a sigh of relief.

"Hello?" she said in her adorable voice and for some reason it nearly got me hard.

"Bella," I said casually, adjusting myself and fuck was I embarrassed with myself for getting hard from just a chick's voice.

"Oh, hey Edward!" she said and I could tell she was smiling by her expression.

"I was wondering if you were going to leave me this fine pair of panties to do with them what I please," I said, holding up her panties in my hand. If I dared to smell them I would explode.

"Oh, shit!" she said, clearly flustered, "I meant to grab those before I left. I have my jeans and crap there too."

"Yes you do. And I'm not gonna lie, Bella Swan, I am seriously considering confiscating these adorable little panties from you and carrying them around in my pocket all day."

It sounded like she choked from embarrassment on the other end and I fucking _smiled_ about that; about her being nervous that I was hanging on to her panties. I was sitting here like an idiot having a conversation with a girl I'd spent the last 24 hours with and I called her ten minutes after I pulled into my house and I was _smiling_.

_Cullen, you__'__re definitely fucked._

I might as well start digging my own grave because I was sure to kill myself when I broke Bella Swan's heart.

No other chick has had this effect on me. After years of fucked up crying and drugs and shit over my mom's leaving me, I made a promise to myself to never love a chick and then Bella Swan comes here and destroys all control I've ever had over that. I mean, I was a master at keeping girls as either friends or fuck buddies. Never once crossed the line, 'cept for with Tanya but she was more like a fuck buddy who had the benefit of being in my presence for longer than a fuck. She wasn't anything to me though; nothing like what Bella was to me now.

"So if you don't want me to sequester your tiny little panties," I continued, using the most suggestive voice I could muster and it actually came out really husky because that's how fuckin' much I wanted her right now, "I suggest you get your ass over here in my Volvo and reclaim them."

Bella Swan was knocking on my door fifteen minutes later and I ran down three flights of stairs to answer the door.

I was out of breath as I opened the door and _holy fuck_ my jaw must have dropped but it shouldn't have because Bella Swan never ceased to amaze me.

She waltzed right inside past me, leaving me dumbfounded at the door. She was wearing these tiny little boxer shorts that barely covered her little ass and my Harvard shirt that was tied around her waist, just skimming her bellybutton and exposing her back. _Those back dimples always got me going for some reason... _

And what was sexy about the whole thing was it was probably totally unplanned. The thing about Bella was she was probably just chilling in her bed before I called and wore these things to bed. She had no makeup on as usual and her hair was totally relaxed; it would have taken Tanya or Stanley a whole fuckin' hour to achieve this look but Bella was just so naturally gorgeous. She was so oblivious to how sexy I found her right now; probably sexier than her intentionally sexy outfits she wore to biology, with the exception of the cheerleader one – that was stashed away its own special category of _holy fuck_ outfits.

Something about the way she wore my shirt was endearing.

"Can I get you anything? Food, beer... a delivery pizza or anything?" I offered, trying to get her to stay awhile. _Hell_, _I__'__d bake a fucking cake if it__'__d keep her here a little bit longer..._

"Nope, I'm good, thanks," she said happily, and waltzed upstairs. I followed behind her, thoroughly enjoying the view of her sexy ass as she bounced up the stairs. It was hypnotizing.

When we arrived in my bedroom she sauntered over to where her panties were laying on my floor and _fuckin' bent over_ to pick them up and I couldn't help the groan that escaped my mouth.

She shot up quickly and turned a little red which totally turned me on even more than it should have.

I walked over to her and I felt an animalistic urge to throw her onto the bed and bang the shit out of her.

Tonight would be the true test of my restraint.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight and Edward Cullen. /3**

**MANY MANY MANY thanks go to Leon McFrenchington, the world's greatest, friendliest and most inspiring & encouraging beta. Thanks Leon! **

**EPOV**

Bella Swan was in my bedroom in nothing but a pair of scandalously revealing boxer shorts and my Harvard t-shirt and I was going wild.

I gulped and walked toward her and she backed up a little bit, probably scared out of her mind from the lust and hunger in my eyes.

She backed up to the point where she hit my desk and I leaned in toward her. She didn't resist.

I slowly fingered a lock of her hair and twirled it around my finger. It was so fucking soft and silky and it smelled like my shampoo. I felt strangely possessive of her when she wore my t-shirt and smelled like my shampoo; it was like she was _mine_. _My fuckin' Bella. _

She looked back at me with a curious expression on her face and I didn't know how I was going to stop myself.

"Bella," I moaned, leaning into her so our bodies were pressed against each other. "I don't know if I have the strength..." I said slowly, choosing my words cautiously "to stay away from you." I paused and she ran her fingers through my hair and it felt fucking orgasmic. My dick twitched and hardened into a state I thought was impossible. "I can't just have you as a friend. I need _more_ of you. I need you to be _mine_."

Her eyes rolled back into her head for a second and I wondered if she was about to faint.

Thankfully she didn't, and a slow smile crept across her face and she drew me in by my shirt.

I was horny as fuck and I'm sure she could feel that on her leg. If I didn't stop now, there'd be no stopping. I hadn't gotten off in over a week and my dick was just throbbing. I knew that as soon as the kissing started I'd be done for. The taste of her lips would be unbelievable; I'd been dying to taste her for months now.

"Bella, I'm no good for you," I insisted sincerely and as firmly as possible given my current state.

_She fuckin' whimpered. _

"Edward," she breathed into my ear, "What if I don't _care_ what's good for me. What if I just want you right here," she wrapped her arms around my neck and drew my face in and I turned it to the side to dodge her kiss, "right now," she breathed, "and right here," she moaned and lead my hand that was firmly on her waist down past her stomach and right _there_. She put my fucking hand right between her legs and, _holy fucking god,_ I felt the wetness seep through the thin fabric of her boxers and I couldn't resist.

"Bella," I panted, my face still turned away from hers because if I saw the look of lust in her eyes once more so help me god... "I will hurt you." My voice came out huskier than I thought, almost like a growl.

Bella took my other hand off her waist and led it up the side of her hips and higher, slowly reaching toward her soft, supple breast. I took my other hand and brought it up and took in both her breasts with my hands, gently massaging and squeezing lightly. A groan escaped my mouth and she moaned in pleasure, her eyes rolling back into her head and she arched her back over my desk.

_Holy fuck. We are going to fucking do it on my desk. _

I frantically swept aside all the papers and magazines and the fucking key board off my desk onto the floor and it crashed down loudly, but all I could focus on was her panting and needing and wanting. Everything around me was a blur and I hadn't had sex sober in so long, and I hadn't wanted someone like I wanted Bella in my whole life. I _needed_ her. I couldn't hold back.

I picked her up by her tiny waist and lifted her onto the desk, seating her down gently and her knees fell weak as soon as I placed her down. She tossed her head back and moaned again and I couldn't fucking take it. My animalistic instincts kicked in and I frantically pulled her t-shirt over her head and threw it across the room. I nuzzled my head between her perfect breasts and gently kissed my way up from the perfect little dip of her bellybutton, up along her abdomen and she took a quick intake of breath as I continued my way up; a trail of little kisses up toward her ribcage. I paused there for a moment and savoured her heavy breathing and the passion that was igniting it. I took a deep breath and tried to pace myself but all I really wanted to do was rip off her clothes and bang her so hard.

But this was Bella and she was perfect and sweet and beautiful, and I had to do this right for once in my fucking life. I wanted to make her come over and over and over. I kissed my way up her perfect perky breasts and slowly massaged her nipples with my hands, feeling them harden under my soft touch. I slowly licked my way up and began kissing her collarbones; she even made collarbones look fucking sexy as hell.

As I made my way up her neck, leaving kisses along the way, she bucked her legs and tossed her head back again and that just fucking did it for me.

I fervently grabbed her shorts, almost pulling her off the desk and yanked them down, kneeling in front of her as I dragged them down along her long creamy legs and off her ankles. I slid my hands firmly up along her calves and past her knees, and up her thighs, savouring her scent as I met her sweet pussy and lightly dragged my fingers across her wetness and she leaned in closer, begging for me to touch her harder, and a loud moan escaped her lips.

"More, Edward" she breathed, lust and passion causing her to whimper over and over; that shit wasn't even fair.

I gingerly ran my palm along the folds of her lips and she was so fucking wet it was unreal; her natural lubrication caused a surge of pleasure to run through her body and I felt her breathing pick up and I hardly even touched her yet. I was dying, I needed her so fucking bad and my cock was jerking and rubbing against my pants and I just needed her so fucking bad. I ran two fingers over her and slowly stuck one inside and she felt so tight and warm and wet.

She growled and flung her head back in passion and ecstasy and I stuck a second finger in and pulled them out quickly and stuck them back in again, she moved in closer trying to increase the friction between us. She was frantically running her fingers through my hair and was swaying her hips in front of me and it felt so fucking incredible; I needed more of her – _all of her._

I was panting and stuck my finger inside again and she begged for more and her breathing picked up. I moved in closer and slowly licked my way inside her and she tasted so fucking amazing and I couldn't get enough. I maintained a rhythm of licking and fingering and lapping her up as much as I could and then I stuck my tongue inside and she lost all inhibitions. She tasted incredible and I savoured the taste. I felt her buck and sway in a heat of passion and she moaned out my name _"__Edward, Edward, Edward!"_ and I swear to god I've never heard my name sound so sweet before. I continued licking and lapping her up, intensifying her pleasure by rubbing her clit with my thumb and she yelped and moaned and her breathing peaked and she took one deep breath and quivered under my touch, I felt her walls tighten around my fingers and kept licking slowly and gently until she came down completely and I stood up and held her by her delicate little waist and she went completely limp, relaxing and dropping her head on my shoulder.

She was spent and beautiful and resting in my arms; her cheeks were a perfect shade of flushed and I held her tightly in my arms and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and said the only things that were in my mind right then and there.

"I love you."

She wrapped her arms around my neck and she was so fragile and vulnerable and beautiful and I just wanted to give her so much more – I wanted to give her everything. I squeezed her tightly and placed my hands on her back and smoothed them up and down her beautiful arch and circled my fingers around those friggin' back dimples, and she had Goosebumps under my touch.

I promised myself I'd never say those words to a woman again but I did and it felt so right and relieving – not horrifying and terrible I'd imagined. I wasn't scared anymore because I knew Bella would make it all better, I knew Bella could change me and make me love and treat her like she deserved to be treated. I knew she could save me.

She didn't reply but I didn't care – I said what I had to say and if she didn't feel the same way it was only a matter of time. I settled on the fact that she was still coming down from the throngs of passion I'd just given her and hoped she didn't reply because she couldn't think clearly.

I yearned to give her more passion and as much as I wanted her, it was less of a concern for me to get off than to have her experience what I'd given her over and over and over.

"Edward, I have to go" she whispered in my ear.

What? Wouldn't she want to stay? What had I done wrong?

I stood there in disbelief as she grabbed her belongings and pecked me on the forehead and left me here, alone and confused.

**BPOV**

_I just fucking left. _

Edward Cullen had just given me the greatest pleasure of my entire life and I just _left_. I didn't even reciprocate.

He said he loved me. No guy has said that to me before and I can guarantee Edward Cullen's never said that before to another girl.

I didn't know what else to do, so I ran. I felt like a fucking coward.

I was in a bad place in my life and didn't need to be heartbroken on top of everything I'd gone through. I practically became emo all summer trying to get over Renee's death by doing drugs and drinking uncontrollably. When Edward came into my life I was so distracted by trying to distract him that I didn't think about my mom's death anymore. Life was good and I felt happier than I had in a long time.

But I knew it couldn't last.

Everyone warned me about Edward and his antics with women.

Rose was home so I thought she might have some insight on the whole scenario. I knocked on her bedroom door which was open a crack and I could hear her watching TV in there.

"Rose?" I called as I tapped on her door lightly.

"Come on in," she called back.

She was clearly intrigued by the Gossip Girls episode she was watching and didn't bother to look my direction until the commercial break.

"Ok. What's up?" she said, turning her focus toward me hastily, likely hoping I'd be done by the time the commercials were.

I took a seat on her fluffy bed and decided to just spill it. "I slept over at Edward's yesterday night," I began and Rose just rolled her eyes.

"So did most of Forks High," she interrupted, impatient for me to get on with my point.

"I slept in his bed. No, nothing like that happened," I said and she wiggled on over beside me, her eyes widened in disbelief. "We just slept – believe you me. And then we spent the day together and he took me to this terrible country club where the waitress was hitting on him the whole time and turns out he's fucking her every Tuesday or some shit –"

"Figures," Rose shrugged, picking at her nails, "I wouldn't ever expect monogamy from that boy."

"Well no, neither would I. So then we spend the day in Seattle and he bought me all these new clothes and books and took me to a really fancy restaurant for lunch."

Rose leaned in closer, blinking in disbelief now, and just shook her head and grabbed my arm.

"Wait, what? You and Cullen went on, like, a date today?"

"Well yeah, Rose. Let me get to the good part. So he drives me home and says what an amazing day he's had and all this and walks me to the door and if you hadn't been fucking Emmett you'd have actually seen Edward acting like a gentleman," I shot her a devious grin. "And then as soon as he got home he called me to say I forgot my panties from the night before."

"You said you guys only slept! You little hussy you!"

"Rose no... it wasn't like that. We went hottubbing. Anyway," I said loudly, clearing my throat, "As I was saying. He makes all these jokes about wanting to sniff my panties all night,"

"Ewww..." Rose turned her nose up .

"Yeah really sick. I'm sure Emmett and you never do kinky shit in your sex life," I retorted. "_Anyway_. So then he says come over to get them – and this is right after he freakin' drops me off. So I drive his Volvo over because I had to give it back eventually, right?"

"Well you could have just asked him to give it to you," Rosalie retorted, sounding completely confident in her Cullen expertise. "I'm sure he would have by the sounds of today's highlights. I mean, Edward _never_ calls chicks, chicks call him. Edward _never_ does dinners or shopping or stuff like that, he usually sent out Stanley to pick out presents for Tanya when he gave her any. You know, birthdays and stuff. And, most of all ,Edward wouldn't _ever_ – in his entire life – _ever_ call a woman after dropping her off or act like a gentleman. He takes pride in the fact that he's a narcissistic prick and thinks he's above treating Forks women with any manners."

"Well then you're going to love this," I said, looking down at my shoes because I didn't want to look Rosalie in the eye for this one. "He, um, went down on me and gave me the most incredible orgasm of my entire seventeen years," I said, and before Rosalie could say whatever was about to come out of her big open mouth I cut her off, "And he said he said he loved me."

"BELLA FUCKING SWAN!" She squealed, nearly shaking the house. "Do you have any fucking clue what this means?! Edward fucking Cullen! Christ! I cannot, cannot, _cannot_ believe this. I have to call Alice. I have to call EMMETT. He won't freakin believe this!"

Before I could stop Rosalie, she was madly texting, clicking away a million buttons per second.

"Rosalie! Do you really think that is the best idea?! I mean, gawd, I should have just told Jasper and not you. What the hell was I thinking," I shook my head in regret. I think I made a terrible mistake.

"`kay Alice wants to know what you said back," Rose said not looking up from her Blackberry. It kept ringing indicating new alerts and I wondered if she was texting all of Forks High.

"Well, well... I guess I just kind of left," I stuttered, blinking in shock from all her energy. Where the hell did she bottle all that up?

"You what?!" Rosalie spat. "You just left!? Oh this is golden. We so have to play Cullen for this one. He tells a chick he loves her and she just fucking leaves. Un-Be-Lievable. Bella Swan, you are just what Forks High and Edward Cullen need," she chuckled to herself and went back to texting.

I decided it was best to just leave her alone and go do something productive. Edward would hear about this soon enough and my fate would be determined then.

****

I dressed low key for school today. It was Monday and rainy as hell, which shouldn't have surprised me in the least, except for the fact that it was nearly zero so the rain was heavy and snowy.

I settled on a pair of baggy grey sweats and Edward's Harvard shirt.

I felt it was appropriate.

After hopping out of Jasper's perfectly restored Porsche 944 I sloshed through the slushy puddles soaking my Chuck Taylor's on my way to class. My feet were fuckin' freezing.

_Great_. What a fucking wonderful way to start my Monday.

As I walked through the halls to biology, girls shot me evil glares and guys spent more than usual checking me out. I wondered what sort of rumours about Edward and I had been fabricated from Rose's loud mouth and love of gossip.

I took a deep breath before entering the classroom and decided it was best to just get it over with, like a Band-Aid. Ripping it off slowly would have been almost as painful as the way Edward slowly seduced me last night, tormenting me with every touch and then releasing me into the greatest pleasure of my entire existence. The thought made me blush, so to no help whatsoever I entered the classroom looking like a tomato, and people were just staring me up and down.

I made a beeline to my lab seat and put my head down on my desk.

"So I hear she and Cullen have been going out for like weeks now and they just had some crazy kinky panty sex last night," Jessica Stanley sneered to Lauren Mallory with venom in her perky fake little voice.

Ah, the telephone effect.

I didn't realize Edward was gone until halfway through the class when I braved lifting my head off the desk.

Oh god. I wonder what he heard.

As soon as the bell rang to dismiss class I ran over to Rose's locker and asked her to call Edward.

"No answer," she said, shrugging. "Why, what's so important anyway?"

"He's not in class that's what's the matter! I mean I can only imagine the rumours he must have heard! I'm utterly mortified. And I never wanted this to blow of proportion like it has now," I waved my arms around furiously, while keeping my voice quiet to avoid a scene – or avoid one as much as possible in the presence of Rose.

Alice fluttered over toward us, twirling like a ballerina before stopping in front of me and embracing me in a big hug. "You might as well be family now because I think you and me are the only people he loves," she said casually, as if this was no big deal.

"Ahem," Rose interrupted.

"Oh right, and Rose too. He loves us all equally. But Bella specifically _sexually_," she said, sticking out her tiny little tongue.

"He didn't show today," I said to Alice, taking her hands in mine. I hoped she would have some sort of explanation.

"I can see why. If I were Edward Cullen I'd be hiding out in a cave or going under witness protection because his reputation has just been destroyed by Bella Swan," Rose said, clearly not making matters any better. She raised her hand attempting a high-five and I just left her hanging.

"Whatever. I need to talk to him. Which one of you gossip girls wants to drive me to his place and make sure he hasn't OD'ed on God knows what."

Alice and Rose exchanged glances and then a look of concern finally crossed their face, simultaneously.

"He wouldn't –" Rose began, her eyes widening with fear.

"He might," Alice concluded and fished around in her purse for her Porsche keys. "Let's go, Bella. Rose?"

"No, I'm gonna stay here. Emmett's kicking around here somewhere and I'm sure Edward wouldn't want everyone getting in his face today anyway. I don't want to make him more upset," she said sincerely.

"Well, it's a little fuckin late for your sympathy Rose because you _caused_ all this," I retorted and shot her an annoyed glance before following Alice to the parking lot.

We made it to Edward's in record time; Alice drove like a maniac and I had to close my eyes the entire time to avoid nausea.

Although Edward drove way faster and riskier, I trusted him completely. He had absolute control over the car and the road when he drove whereas Alice was just lucky she hadn't crashed her yellow Porsche yet.

I ran up to the front door and Alice followed right on my heels. I was about to knock when Alice just shoved the door open and shot me a look of urgency.

I ran up the several flights of stairs – fuck how annoying these were getting – and approached Edward's door. It was closed.

Fuck.

I knocked impatiently – about fifteen times in a row – and waited for a response.

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Alice was just catching up to me from the trek up the stairs. "Nothing?"

"No he's not answering. Should I just bust in?" I asked quickly. If it was a matter of an OD – which I don't know why "tainting" his reputation would warrant a drug overdose – then we had to be haste.

"Hell yah, I will," Alice said, trying to open the door, but it was locked. She banged her fist against the large wooden door and slammed her tiny body against it. If I wasn't so worried about Edward I would have likely laughed at the sight.

I remembered the maid's stairwell led straight to his bathroom which was attached to his bedroom and dragged Alice along with me.

"Wow, you know this place pretty well," she observed as I led her through the hedges to the back of the house. We arrived at the stairwell and I ran up it as fast as my legs would carry me. I had to stop at the top to catch my breath for a minute and then trailed though the tiny hallway that branched off in several different directions and took a lucky guess as to which one was his bedroom.

I was definitely wrong; we stepped into the back entrance of a large, luxurious guest bedroom and I would have stopped to appreciate its beauty but I had no time for that crap right now. I went back to the hall and took the door beside it and – bingo.

I swiftly made it through the bathroom and noticed that no Edward passed out on the floor with his head over the toilet was probably a good sign.

The bathroom door was closed and I opened it and didn't see him at first.

I scanned his bedroom and called out his name "Edward! Edward!" I frantically ran over to the other side of his bed and _nothing_.

He wasn't fucking here. Well fuck. There were probably a hundred rooms in the house, well maybe not literally but there were a ton and how the fuck was I ever supposed to find him in this zoo?

I figured the best place to start was the garage.

"Alice – the garage. Check to see if his car's gone. I'm going to try and find Aro."

She nodded in agreement and hurried down the hall and down the stairs.

I'd never actually seen where Aro worked or did whatever he did, so I had no fuckin clue where to start. Terrible images raced through my mind like Edward passed out in a ditch somewhere or Edward lying in a hospital bed on his last legs... I couldn't understand why he would react the way he did. Well fuck if I even knew how he reacted. I had no clue how he did. He could have just legitimately taken a sick day. But where would he go? Wouldn't he answer Rose's texts if he was able to do so? What the hell!

I looked over and noticed the little speaker that Edward spoke into and pressed the button.

After a brief second I heard a loud beep and the scratching of the speaker.

"Yes Edward?" Aro said in his thick Italian accent.

"No, it's Bella. I'm looking for Edward. He's gone and I don't know where he went," I explained frantically.

There was a long pause and then Aro replied. "How did you manage to get past me?"

Oh for fuck sakes as if that was of any concern!

"Does it matter?!" I spat, being unnecessarily rude because I was so effin panicked.

Another long pause and I was getting sick of all this nonsense technology. Whatever happened to talking to people face to face like the good old days? Oh that's right, I didn't know how to find Aro in this palace anyway.

I heard another loud scratching of the speaker from the other side of the intercom and then a beep.

"Bella," that familiar sexy as hell voice replied. Oh god. It was Edward.

"Are you okay!?" I exclaimed, getting really fuckin' mad that he worried me like that.

And then he just effin laughed. He LAUGHED. I was here freaking out, losing my mind, running around like a chicken with its head cut off and he's humoured by all this.

"Yah, I'm doin' great. I'm just doing a workout down here and I saw you come in through the security tapes channel on the TV. You looked pretty funny, you and Alice." He chuckled again and turned off the intercom.

_Well that fucking little prick._

I heard huffing and puffing behind me and Alice was bent over, holding out her hand indicating she needed to catch her breath. "Car... is... here," she breathed heavily, heaving under the weight of her lungs. Wow, we really needed to be working out along Edward. A simple run through his house and we were all having asthmatic attacks.

"Yeah, he saw us on the security tapes. Apparently he's just doing dandy and is working out downstairs," I said, totally pissed at him.

Alice's eyes widened in shock and then narrowed. "That little _fucker_!"

"My thoughts exactly. What do you say we interrupt his little workout?"

Alice led me through some more long, dark hallways and down a couple flights of stairs and then we entered a very modern, very expensive looking workout room about the size of an actual fitness studio. It had mirrors running along the walls and several large LCD TV's hung from the walls.

I didn't know much about fitness but it looked like he had every machine you would ever need.

I scanned the room and he was working out pretty intensely on the treadmill and waved at us to come over.

As we approached him he slowed down his pace to a jog and took out his headphones.

"Ladies," he said casually, "what a nice visit. I didn't realize I was so missed at the school," he chuckled to himself and I was fed up with his smugness. I didn't know why I should be angry. It felt so irrational but I was still so worried and for him to have the nerve to just joke about it! _Well!_

"You guys here to work out?"

"No, we're fucking not here to work out, you fool!" Alice spat. "We were worried because we heard you fucking did shit with Bella last night and told her you LOVED HER and then you go missing the next day. It wasn't that far-fetched to expect you to be passed out cold in a ditch somewhere with needles sticking out of your arms."

He furrowed his brows and contemplated this accusation. "Ladies, I'm simply taking a run. Now if you will, make yourselves at home while I finish up and take a shower."

"Actually, I'm going back to school," Alice said, and strutted out of the room leaving me here alone.

With Edward.

Fuck.

Without bothering to look at me he stuck his headphones in and jacked up the speed, looking straight at the TV and paying me no accommodation or 'thanks for the worry' whatsoever.

Humph.

I left the gym and went up to the living room in hopes of watching TV until he was finished with his workout. That was until I saw the elaborate entertainment system that likely required a PhD in engineering in order to turn the f'n thing on. I took one glance at eight different remotes and six different electronic boxes of sorts – DVD players and what not, and went up to his bedroom.

I sat on his bed and waited patiently.

Why the hell was I waiting? _Bah._ As if I had time to sit around and wait for Edward Cullen.

Oh right. I had no vehicle. Alice darted out of here like a bat out of hell likely to tell everyone that all was well with Edward and he was simply "taking a run." I felt utterly ridiculous.

Twenty minutes later I heard someone making their way up the stairs and Edward entered, looking absolutely delicious. Even though I was mad as hell at him, he certainly did look so friggin' hot.

He had his grey workout t-shirt thrown over his strong, muscular shoulder, revealing his perfectly smooth chest and incredible eight-pack. My eyes wandered downward past his treasure trail and he wore grey sweatpants.

He must have noticed my jaw drop. He chuckled and shook his hair out with his towel; making his ripped abdomen muscles strain and the veins in his arms pulse from his workout.

"I guess I should shower eh? You probably don't like me all sweaty like this."

I didn't notice any sweat whatsoever. Except for in his perfect bronze hair, which was a little wet from his workout but he smelt divine, and his body was glistening. That must have been the sweat; I suppose men didn't usually glisten like that.

This is the man that told me he loved me last night and I _ran_.

"Hey, Bella?" he called from the bathroom. I could hear the water from the shower running. He returned to the room wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. "Wouldn't you figure, if I was in love with you, the _last_ thing I'd do is stick needles in my veins?"

I stood there dumbfounded and unsure of what to say. "Um..." I gulped. All I could focus on was those pecs.

"I said I love you because you make me happy," he said simply. And with that he headed to the bathroom to take a shower.

I guess it wasn't a fluke that he said he loved me; he said it again today without even stuttering – without an ounce of hesitation.

And I couldn't even say it back.

Edward completely brushed me off for better half of day, grunting about having to do homework and write essays and everything else in between. He was acting so weird – so distant and uninterested in anything I was saying, replying with only grunts and nods.

I'm pretty sure he ran to the bathroom and shot coke while I was still there, because he returned to the room bouncing and running around blabbering a million miles an hour about finding some book he'd been looking for, "two six six six, twenty six sixty six!" he exclaimed, as if I was supposed to know what that meant.

I left his house and decided it was time I saw Jasper; I needed to talk to him.

Jasper picked me up in his 1984 Porsche; the music of some random band blasting through the speakers.

"TURN THAT DOWN!" I shouted as I sat down in the tan leather seats. Even though his car was older it was in mint condition and he'd spent tons of money pimping it out with a state of the art stereo and everything else.

Jasper drove a stick shift almost sexier than Edward; the fact that Jasper was a little more _modest_ about the whole process made him more desirable than Edward going on about "nobody touches my stick but me" nonsense.

"The fact that he came out and said he loved me like it was nothing today made me feel like I didn't even want him," I explained to Jasper as we sped through the countryside. He was allegedly taking me to this great view of the lake on a rocky cliff to get high.

Cruising along the dirt roads with Jasper in his vintage Porsche made me feel like a movie star; like we were in the Thomas Crown Affair or something. It was a beautiful November day and unlike typical Forks weather it was rather mild out.

After hanging out with Edward there was something so appealing about Jasper's disposition, like we just meshed so seamlessly. I guess that's why we were best friends.

"Well, I'll tell you Bella, when Alice told me Cullen got you off I wasn't exactly surprised," Jasper said, keeping his eyes on the road. He shifted up down a gear and pulled into a random gas station that just seemed to appear in the middle of nowhere. "I mean the guy prides himself in his ability to manipulate pussy." He hopped out of the car. "I'll be right back."

I flipped open the glove box and put on Jasper's aviators. I'll admit, I did look fuckin' badass in these shades.

Jasper returned with a bag of wine gums and two diet Cokes.

"ReBella," he said, handing me a coke and the bag of candy.

"Hey Jazz," I said tentatively "Can I drive?"

Jasper looked over at me and raised his eyebrow. "Hmm, yeah, sure, why not right?" He hopped out and made it over to my side quickly enough to open the door for me.

I took a seat and adjusted the mirrors and everything and looked around to make sure I knew where everything was. Edward wouldn't let me drive his "baby."

"As I was saying," Jasper continued, "when he said he loved you I assumed he was on drugs or something."

"Thanks," I said sarcastically.

"You know what I mean," Jasper said. "He obviously hasn't said that before so I assumed he didn't know the feeling enough to be able to express that kind of emotion. He's very emotionally retarded."

"I just feel like he doesn't know what he's saying. Perhaps he just thinks that because he can tolerate me longer than anyone else it's love but when the next new thing blows into town he'll be all over her. I'm just saying," I said, shifting up a gear and Jasper nodded in approval in response to my sick driving skills, "I'm not ready for this. I just wanted to get through my last year with as little drama possible and graduate with that scholarship."

"I would agree entirely." Jasper fiddled around with the radio until he found some decent tunes, MGMT and bobbed his head along to the music. "Just so long as you don't bail on our Whistler plans because the douche is coming."

Son of a bitch.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: This chapter contains a lot of heavy drug usage and disturbing scenes as a result. If you are sensitive to this subject matter please be forewarned. **

**You can skip this chapter and pick up at the next one and it will show the non-drug user****'****s perspective so it might be less disturbing. **

**Disclaimer: I am not a physician. I do not know 100% the effects of these drugs and their interactions. Please don****'****t do/use them. **

**Stephenie Meyer still owns Twilight & Edward Cullen. /3**

**As always, a million and one thanks to my wonderful Beta, Leon. **

****

**EPOV**

Wednesday morning. "Hump day." Like I'll be getting any of that today.

It's cold as usual; it's been fuckin' cold for the past three weeks so why the fuck wouldn't it be cold today? I bundle up as if I'm ready to embark on a Trans-Siberian traverse with Dr. Zhivago.

As I step outside the cold hits me like a 400 lbs. lineman and my knees buckle a little. I walk very slowly across the frozen driveway being careful not to slip or tear my ACL. After ten minutes on the driveway I am near my sweet love; the Volvo.

This car has been a big part of my life. We have been through happy times, sad times, and "we should probably get the fuck out of here so we don't get busted" times. The key slides gently into the ignition. I turn the key and it purrs like a kitten with a tummy rub and saucer of milk before its eyes.

I gently shift into reverse and back out of the driveway, careful not to cause a collision with the staff vehicles.

As much as the Ducati and Aston Martin sufficed, I was fuckin' thrilled to get my sweet, sweet love back. I've had more women than I can count in the back seat of that car; making out on the leather seats, rubbing bare backs against the plush seats, fogging up the windows, asses pressed against the glass.

Bella stole this piece of my heart for the past month or so and I finally got her to return it. I felt bad that she didn't have a car but the thought of _Jake_ driving around in this beauty was enough to make me nauseous.

I told Bella I loved her and she ran. I don't even remember why I told her I loved her. I've never loved a woman besides my own fucking mother and even that love was unrequited. I didn't know what love felt like, but it just felt... appropriate to say.

Women were flippant and impossible to read. I could never figure them out outside of the realm of my superb bedroom skills.

My suspicions about women were easy and proved valid time and time again. Bella was no fucking exception.

I pull out of the driveway and hear the snow crunch beneath my tires and then I hit the smooth, slick pavement.

As I shift into top gear and breeze through the narrow winding roads the snowflakes obscure my vision. They hit my eyesight like giant white fireworks, crashing onto my window and exploding into oblivion upon contact of the windshield.

_Ashes to ashes... dust to dust... _

I love this road. Tree branches whip the windshield of my car and I feel a rush of adrenaline unlike anything else in the world. The anticipation of not knowing what awaits me around each corner as I fly through the narrow, icy roads makes me feel _alive_.

I used to numb myself so I didn't have to feel a thing, so I didn't have to face this world that we live in. My drug cocktails ensured that I never had to face a reality I didn't want to.

I used to pop codeine for breakfast, shoot cocaine for lunch, mix some pills for dinner and get high ten times in between.

But since Bella came into my life I've been doing everything possible to _feel_. She intensified everything. Every touch, every breath, every thought when I was with her was incredible and new. It was like I was being born again.

I know I sound like a fucking tool, but it's true.

Or maybe it was just the acid talking – it might be kicking in.

But when you're high on shit for five consecutive years you get sort of used to it. Reality just wasn't the same without the drugs until now.

I was almost fully clean. I mean it's not like I was ever hooked on anything in particular, I wasn't an addict. But having tons of money and being bored with reality... what else was there to do?

The first couple weeks off my favourite vices were brutal; it was absolutely excruciating.

I convulsed until I fell on the floor and flailed about like a fish out of water.

I had a constant headache. I woke up in a pool of sweat nightly. I was afraid.

I hallucinated.

I took some poppers to ease the pain – nothing serious; just nitrates. I mixed them with rohypnol so I could sleep.

I felt a wonderful surge through my body and I tried to focus on the road but was distracted...

_One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small,  
_

_And the ones that mother gives you, don't do anything at all._

My windshield wipers danced across the glass like fairies dancing before twilight in a field in middle earth.

Everything was so clear and vivid and bright yet pearlescent. It was as if everything was coated in a layer of bliss.

I looked up at the sky.

_Lucy in the sky with diamonds... _

_Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain, where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies.  
Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers that grow so incredibly high._

The snowflakes became nicer – kinder. Instead of blowing up in my face they blobbed their way across the window. I peered closer looking at the beautiful patterns of each and every snowflake that landed in my periphery. Oh, how I love that each and every one of them is unique. They danced in the sky and twirled round and round then landed painfully on my window for my enjoyment. They were now blobs.

I pulled over onto the soft shoulders to have a chat with my favourite old tree.

_No one I think is in my tree; I mean it must be high or low._

He was kind and gentle and was probably my grandfather in his state of reincarnation.

His big brown expressive eyes were almost like Bella's, except he had bushy grey eyebrows that jiggled with every expression he contrived.

_Bella, Bella, Bella. _

I sat and stared at the tree for a long, long time.

I began sniggering at the thought of Bella. I scared Bella away. _ME_. All I wanted to do was love the girl.

_Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes, and she's gone._

I laughed loudly and raucously, falling onto the snow and banging my hands against the pure whiteness in a fit of my own hilarious thoughts.

My Bella had kaleidoscope eyes as I envisioned her, wearing those damn biker boots and nothing else.

I laid on the snow beside my tree for quite some time, alternating between rocking myself to soothe the pain and bashing my head against the ground to get unwanted visions out of my head.

The stars came out and I was pleased. I loved the stars in this state of pure euphoria.

Stars played along with my game – always the entertainers.

This was bliss. I closed my eyes and hugged my knees in a fetal position. I needed to sleep off the marching band that was playing on the nerve endings in my brain.

_Thud thud thud thud. And one and two and three and four. _

I wake up and am warm.

I'm lying in a pile of something warm and fluffy and dry; a stark contrast from my blanket of snow in the forest.

"Edward..." I hear a beautiful angel echoing my name and I want her closer. I want to see my angel's face.

My body began to tremble violently. As I try and steady myself my arms thrash around hitting hard surfaces and I hear glass shattering. It could have been ice from icicles on the forest trees.

I try and lift my body up but fail miserably and tumble to a cold hard surface. I am disoriented from whiteness.

I hate this feeling of uneasy consciousness.

I feel as though I am observing myself in another body but can't see a thing.

It's very frustrating.

I shake my head violently, hoping this is just a bad trip and I will sleep it off soon enough.

I stumble to my feet with the help of this angel; I feel softness on my arms and warmth and it is wonderful.

But then I feel her skin being sucked into my tainted body. It melts and fuses with my black blood and taints her beautiful white purity.

"NO! NO! I can't taint you my angel!" I screech. _You must leave, you must leave, you must leave. _

I will hurt you my angel.

I am panicking and start hyperventilating and know that my cure for this pain – the only thing that will help is in the back pocket of my pants and I can't feel my legs or arms or body anymore. The cure for this agony is just beyond my reach...

Everything starts turning blurry and there were no dancing shapes – all I saw was white blankness and cold and dark and _void_.

My head falls on the snowy ground and I am at peace.

_Serenity now. _


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: This chapter has a bit of drug stuff in it but isn****'****t as heavy as the last. It is mostly from a medical perspective (kind of) and not that of a drug user****'****s. I tried to get as much info out of my parent who is a doctor without seeming like I was hard into drugs myself...**

**Stephenie Meyer still owns Twilight. **

**Thank you Leon, I couldn't have done it without you! **

**BPOV**

Edward was a lucky motherfucker that Jasper and I found him when we did. He is also lucky that we were the ones to find him and not the police.

His pockets were filled with enough contraband to kill a mob.

Jasper and I were cruising along the countryside, bumming around as usual when we see Edward's car on the side of the road about a mile from his house.

Why were we driving past Edward's in the first place? Well we were going to visit Emmett until we stopped to see why the hell Edward was going for a nature walk in minus five degree weather.

We park the Porsche alongside Edward's car and peer inside to make sure he's not banging some broad in there. Apparently he's into that shit.

When there's no sign of Edward in the Volvo I get kind of worried. It wasn't unlike him to go for a wander in the woods Jasper tells me but I insist we go and check to make sure he's ok anyway.

We walked through the dense forest for about five minutes and see Edward passed out cold in front of a tree.

I ran over to him and checked for breathing; and he was breathing but unsteadily and he was frozen. I shook his body and, when he didn't respond, I got worried. Jasper came over to me and examined Edward, checking his pulse and stuff to see if he's still with us. He was out of it both physically and mentally.

I can recall the scene perfectly:

I run over to Edward and his perfect lips are slightly parted but he doesn't seem to be breathing. Jasper runs over and checks his vitals and I gently place my index finger on his mouth and try to feel for a breath. _Nothing_. I leaned in closer, bringing my ear toward his mouth and hear the quietest breaths; in and out, but ever so slowly. I brushed his beautiful bronze hair out of his eyes and open them gently with my fingers. He is completely blacked out. They are glazed over as fuck. We have to go to the hospital. Jazz refuses, saying that if he enters the hospital under so many drugs he will be arrested. I argue the consequences will be worse if he doesn't go.

We agreed on calling Carlisle.

Carlisle is furious about leaving work to tend to his drugged out son but dutifully agrees.

Jasper and I haul Edward into the Porsche and lay him across the backseat that isn't exactly legally a backseat but more a small tiny bench and he barely fits in horizontally but it does the trick.

I'm sitting in Jasper's car with my knees in my face so we can fit Edward in the back and call a tow truck for his Volvo.

It takes Jasper and Aro to lift Edward up the three flights of stairs or more into his bedroom and we lay him down on the bed.

Carlisle barges through the door, "What the fuck did this fucking idiot do?" I'd never heard an adult swear so vilely before, let alone Doctor Cullen. From what everyone in Forks had told me, including Esme, he was of a polite disposition; but this clearly wasn't of any concern to any of us at this precise time.

He pulls Edward's shirt up and places a stethoscope of sorts on his chest and checks for breathing. "He's barely breathing. Jasper run to Edward's bathroom cabinet and grab all the prescription and non-prescription drugs you can find – don't bother with the crack or whatever the fuck he's got in there. Aspirin and the like only."

Carlisle frantically pulls off Edward's shirt, cursing to the Holy Virgin Mary in the process for having such a delinquent son. He checks for breathing and attempts CPR to get better circulation going in his system. Edward is still barely breathing after this and his face is white as a ghost.

Jasper returns with an armful full of medication and throws them on the bed. Carlisle searches through the various bottles, tossing them out of the way as he goes, dropping most of them on the floor. "Bella search his pockets – front, back, down his pants if you have to. I need a trace of whatever the fuck he's OD'ing on. Jasper – get Aro to bring up a shot of adrenaline. Quick!"

Edward's body starts convulsing violently on the bed as I try and search through his pockets but he's still not awake at all. I rummage through his front pockets and find nothing but his car keys and a pack of cigarettes. Carlisle rolls his eyes at the pack of smokes and shakes his head in disapproval. _That__'__s the least of his problems. _He struggles to lift Edward's heavy torso up so I can search the back pockets and I find an empty baggie with some white residue, rolling papers, a quarter ounce of pot, a bunch of ambiguous looking pills in a orange pill bottle; each varying in color, shape and size, a bag full of white powder, a bag of shrooms, and a shitload of other stuff I've never even seen before – and that's saying a lot.

Carlisle purses his lips and curses under his breath, muttering and grunting about this that and the other, "fucking son of a bitch should rot in prison," "I've been nothing but a good father, giving him everything he's entitled to," and other random stuff I couldn't make out.

Out of frustration Carlisle starts shaking Edward trying to get him to come to and _nothing_.

Aro returns with a huge needle; Pulp Fiction style. I gulped loudly.

Aro takes one glance at Edward, and Carlisle dismissively brushes him off telling him to retrieve some herbal tea or some shit to calm this crack head's nerves.

Aro obliges and leaves.

Jasper's just fucking pacing around the room, texting people and answering his cell phone when it rings every two minutes. "No, don't fuckin come. No don't call the police. No_, fuck!_ We've got it under control."

"No visitors!" Carlisle barks at Jasper and I'm terrified and don't know what to do.

"Can I help?" I ask skeptically, hoping that Carlisle won't annihilate me.

"You can get this fucking kid into rehab when he wakes up."

Hmm. I sit beside Edward and rub his hands trying to warm them up – they're cold as ice and sweaty. I soothingly run my fingers through his hair and across his forehead. Carlisle grunts at my display of sympathy and nurturing toward Edward but I don't care.

_He needs someone. _

"Don't expect him to come to for several hours," Carlisle says, still examining Edward's pulse and heart rate. "He's passed out cold. Nearly fuckin' killed himself. It's hard to say what exactly he's on but by the contents of his pocket I'd say some sort of psychedelic drug and probably, knowing Edward, uppers and downers. He's always on fuckin' uppers and he uses downers to get rid of the uppers and that causes an intoxicating mixture of drugs. Throw a couple of random pills in his system and he's out cold for a day."

Jasper cleared his throat and nervously looked at me and then Carlisle. "He did shrooms last night sir, with Emmett and me."

Carlisle shoots him a look saying "are you fuckin kidding me," and Jasper looks down at the ground in shame.

"He also did a lot of cocaine," I confirmed. "On his own. Last night."

Carlisle took a deep breath, about ready to blow a gasket. He took a minute to collect himself and ran his fingers through his hair just like Edward did, except it was out of distress.

"Alright, well, he needs to sleep it off. He'll be shaking and convulsing and I'm going to do some research in my study. If his condition worsens call me via the intercom," he said pointing at the speaker. "I don't suspect it'll get any worse but his breathing and heart rate is weak which means his system is barely keeping him from going into a coma. If I medicate him anymore he'll go right into shock and it will be straight to the hospital, followed by prison."

Carlisle shot Jasper a look of utter disappointment, shaking his head.

Jasper dropped his head in defeat.

I moved in closer to Edward, crossing my legs and facing him. I took his limp, cold hand in mine and stroked it gently.

"Alice is worried sick," Jasper said, placing his hands on my shoulders and massaging them. It felt amazing. "I should visit her."

"Of course, Jazz. You need to be with her. I think I'll be fine with Edward," I lowered my voice; I didn't want to wake Edward prematurely. "I guess Dr. Cullen said no visitors but I'm sure Alice should be fine to stop by. I'm just gonna sit here and keep an eye on him," I said casually. "You know, forage through his book selection too," I said pointing at the stocked bookshelf.

Jasper chuckled. "Alright, have fun with that," he said sarcastically. "Call me if you need anything."

As I sit here holding passed out Edward Cullen's hand, I have a glimpse into the pain he must have been enduring.

I couldn't help but think somehow my presence contributed to his overdose.

But then again, knowing Edward, I don't think the overdose was intentional. He loves himself and his life too much to try and kill himself; I found comfort in convincing myself of this.

Just the other day he didn't show to class and Alice and I got in a flustered mess looking for him only to find he was "fine and dandy" and laughed at the 'hilarity' of us being worried.

He'd been kind of recluse the last few days but nothing too out of the ordinary. Just doing drugs, I guess more than usual, and he still hung out with Jasper and Emmett. He usually only did coke but the last few days he was popping drugs like skittles.

It was three days ago he declared his "love" for me and he'd skipped school Monday until today, Wednesday.

After Monday's extensive hunt for him I assumed he was doing great. And then he goes and nearly kills himself.

He did enough drugs to know of the potentially lethal interactions. _Why the hell would he willingly put his life at risk?_

I wondered if his fight with Jasper had anything to do with it. Neither of them said anything about it and I wasn't ready to accept that Edward's beating was a result of me alone.

Edward looked peaceful and serene for once. His face was at rest and aside from his eyelids occasionally fluttering, he was completely still.

I kept checking his mouth to make sure he was still getting air and I _might_ have given him a couple extra breaths via a mouth-to-mouth method, no big deal.

Okay, okay. It was totally an excuse to bring my lips to Edward's, and experience the taste of what a real kiss with him would be.

I could have had the chance to kiss him and love him back. I did love him, I think. But I knew he was bad news and I couldn't trust him, especially since he made it perfectly clear he couldn't even trust himself.

I had been alone in here with Edward for just over an hour; holding him and rubbing his hands.

I decided since Carlisle made it abundantly clear that he was just going to sleep it off and that there was no need to worry, I would take a look at Edward's book selection.

As I ran my fingers along the spines of numerous classics, I discovered that Edward and I had identical taste in literature; given his book collection was a reflection of that. _EM Forster, Dickens, Hemingway, _and a lot of modern lit; _Updike, Hunter S. Thompson. _

I pulled out a hefty looking novel, called _2666_ by Roberto Bolano. Ah, "two six six six, twenty six sixty six..."

A sheet of Kleenex was stuck between two pages being used as a bookmark.

I leafed through the thin, delicate pages and opened it up where he left off.

Page one ninety-two. It contained a diagram of various geometric shapes with philosopher's names written along the various sides; Aristotle, Plato, Heraclitus, More, Kant, Descartes... they all rang a bell.

I read an excerpt.

"_The next day, as his students wrote, or as he himself was talking, Amalfitano began to draw very simple geometric figures, a triangle, a rectangle, and at each vertex he wrote whatever name came to him, dictated by fate or lethargy or the immense boredom he felt thanks to his students and the classes and the oppressive heat that had settled over the city._"

It sounded interesting enough so I started at the beginning.

Just as I was really getting the hang of the complex intertwining plot, Edward's body jerked slightly.

I throw the book down and place my hands on his arm trying to soothe him or do _something_. _Nothing_.

I checked for a pulse and made sure he was still breathing.

I pick up the book, trying to find the page I left off at when Edward's body starts violently convulsing and flipping around his bed like a patient receiving ECT shock treatment; it's as if his body is receiving strong volts of electricity as his arms and legs jolt uncontrollably.

Fuck. What the FUCK do I do?

_Carlisle_.

I run over to the speaker and hit the button repeatedly until I hear Carlisle on the other end. "Carlisle, he's really fuckin' scaring me. He's flipping all over the place. Come quick!"

I run back to Edward and shake him lightly, trying to bring him to consciousness. He's so out of it and is muttering a million miles a second, but it's barely audible. I can't make out what he's saying but it's something about angels...?

"Don't shake him," I hear Carlisle say firmly behind me. I jump out of the way so he can check Edward and he does all the routine stuff like taking his pulse and what not. "Hold onto him, steady him."

I do as I'm instructed.

I hold down his arms above his head and they flail uncontrollably, hitting the wooden bed frame really hard, causing his knuckles to bleed.

"He might be going into shock," Carlisle says steadily. "Get Aro."

After paging Aro I came back to the bed and Carlisle was muttering under his breath.

"Sorry?" I said trying to hear what he was saying.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Could be anticholinergic or sympathomimetic toxidrome."

Um, what the hell???

"A seizure," he translated. "A very painful, very uncomfortable seizure. Plus a boatload of other unpleasant sensations" Carlisle said gravely.

"Oh." That didn't sound very good.

"Let's just say... he's lucky he's not conscious for it."

_My heart sunk. _

He looked almost conscious every few seconds. His eyes would open wide but all I could see was white and his eyes rolling into the back of the head; his pupils dilated unlike anything I'd ever seen.

"Should we take him to the hospital?"

"Why?" he snapped. "I'm the best doctor there. Do you have any idea what the hell they will do with an overdose like this? Throw him in prison first thing he comes to. I can't bail him out, and it's embarrassing to my name," Carlisle spat. "We have everything we need here."

Aro was fluttering around the room bringing towels and water and all these medical devices I couldn't recognize. From the looks of it all, it was almost like they were going to do surgery on him, right here in his bedroom.

Edward groaned loudly in pain and disrupted my thoughts. I ran over to him and Carlisle shot me an annoyed look.

I winced from the sight of Edward like this.

Edward – or the body of Edward – propped himself up off the bed with his elbows and was still shaking violently. I backed away because he already hit me twice by accident and it really hurt.

He fell off the bed and Aro ran over helping Carlisle to pick him up. "Bella, it's best you not see this," Carlisle warned.

I shot one glance at Edward's painful, trembling body and touched his arm soothingly before I left the room to call Jasper. _At least his eyes were closed..._

"Bella, tell me something good," Jasper said, picking up on the first ring.

"I-I don't think it's looking good. Carlisle told me to leave the room for what was going to happen. I'm scared Jazz," I whimpered. It pained me to see Edward in so much pain, and I was nearly crying.

"I'll come and we can sit in the living room until Carlisle gives us the go-ahead."

Mere minutes later, I heard the sound of Jasper pulling up the driveway from the large sitting room. I was pacing back and forth, looking at the large meticulously carved fireplace mantle. Pictures of Edward as a child in beautiful frames were spread across the mantle. He looked like such a happy child.

I wondered who put in the effort of displaying those pictures.

"Bella," Jasper said coming into the room. "Alice is worried sick. She couldn't come. She didn't want to see Edward like this. Is he going to be ok?"

Jasper's face was pale white.

"I th-think so," I said, choking back the tears. Jasper comforted me in a big hug, rubbing my back soothingly.

"Shh, shh. He's going to be fine, Bella."

I don't think he believed a word of that, and neither did I.

****

Eleven hours later Jasper, Rose, Emmett, Alice and I were sprawled out across various couches and the Persian carpets in the Cullen's living room.

Three or four hours after Jasper came Emmett and Rosalie followed, and lastly Alice came when she had gained the strength to see her incapacitated cousin.

Alice was thoughtful enough to bring along Starbucks for all of us, including Aro and Carlisle. Carlisle was still working away in his study and Aro was flitting about the house tinkering with things and cleaning; trying to look busy no less.

I hadn't had a proper sleep; just little naps here and there on Jasper's shoulder.

Aro kept brining us out hors d'oeuvres which Emmett popped into his mouth happily. The rest of us couldn't eat; we were too worried to even think.

I see the moon peering through the window panes; it must be twilight.

"What time is it?" I groaned, awaking from a short rest.

Emmett checked his Blackberry. "It's just past two."

Rosalie was nodding off on his shoulders.

"Latte run, babe?" Emmett said, lightly touching her shoulders.

"Mmmm?" she groaned. She took a deep sigh and looked around the room. "Might as well. I reckon the fucker's not waking up anytime soon is he? I swear to god I'm going to give him a good slap upside the head when he's stable enough to take it. He scared the shit out of all of us."

Well that caught everyone's attention. We all nodded our heads in agreement, too exhausted to comment or object.

Alice tried to cover a big yawn with the palm of her petite hand. Jasper noticed right away.

"Honey, we should take a quick nap," Jasper said as he got up and stretched his lean limbs. "No use in being here for Edward if we're all too tired to see to him."

She nodded and he helped her up, taking her by the waist and leading her to one of the many Cullen guest rooms.

"Oh, Bella?" Jasper turned around. "Feel free to use one of the guest rooms. You look rough kiddo."

I snorted. "Ha, thanks buddy, you're not looking too great yourself. And I think I'm just gonna check on Edward, see if he's made any progress, eh?"

A very exhausted Alice looked at me; her face instantly lighting up.

"You do what you need to do," Jasper said, squeezing her waist.

"I'm sure Edward wouldn't mind waking up to you," Alice said, attempting the best smile she could in her state of her fatigue.

As I make my way up these brutal effin stairs (yet again) I take a second to imagine what it'd be like growing up in this place. Surely Edward was happy when his mother was here, but when she left he probably died inside. Growing up with that strange Aro-fella and a slew of nannies and maids is certainly no way for a child to live. Running around in this dark, stuffy mansion... and indeed Carlisle was absent and likely here only to discipline and give out to Edward.

My heart broke every time I heard Rose's voice echoing in my head; _"__...and you__'__re six years old."_ He was only six when his mother left him, slapping him across the face because he was starting to look too much like his father.

I saw traces of his mother in him; his eyes when he looked at me were gentle and warm just like his mother's in the picture I saw. It was almost as if they danced, just for me.

I reach his door and timidly poke my head inside.

It's dark and silent but I can see a bit of the moonlight cast upon his face through the balcony doors.

I quietly walk inside and tiptoe over to the bed; Edward is breathing a little bit heavier than last time and he looks absolutely gorgeous. The color's come back to his face slightly and it's a relief to see that he resembles a living being now.

I take a seat on the edge of the bed and feel his hands. They're cold and clammy, but clammy is better than nothing.

His eyelids flutter lightly and his fingers twitch in my hands. From brief psychology television shows I've seen I could determine that he was dreaming.

I wonder if he was dreaming of me.

He groaned loudly and tossed; my heart skipped a beat in fear that he might wake up and see me and want to overdose all over again.

I didn't know what to do. I could leave and find a guest bedroom to occupy for the night, or I could stay and try and fight my fatigue.

The thought of Edward waking up – alone and likely in excruciating pain is enough to confirm my decision.

I will fight for him.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.**

**Thank you to my amazing Beta Leon for his awesome editing skills and everything else! Many thanks! **

**And thank you so much to whoever is reading this story and reviewing. I appreciate any feedback and am happy that you are enjoying this story. **

**EPOV**

As I awake from what felt like a million years' slumber, I feel a strange sensation of warmth followed by what I recognize as similar to nausea, but somewhat different.

Nope, it's _definitely_ nausea.

I fling myself over to the edge of the bed as quickly as possible and hurl my guts onto the hardwood floors.

Fuck sakes, I just got those fuckin' floors waxed. Oh well; it'll give Aro something to do tomorrow.

I gasp and breathe heavily trying to steady myself but I can't; I feel dizzy and out of control of my body. The more I move the more discomfort and nausea I induce.

_Fuck_. Another wave of nausea hits and I lean over the bed again for a repeat performance. I hear running down the hall and someone comes to my side with a bucket of sorts. Looks like my large stainless steel trashcan from my bathroom. _Gross_.

I try and suppress the sickness but that just makes it so much worse and I spew all over, trying my best to aim for the bucket. My body is angled sideways on the bed, with my head hovering over the edge; my left arm holding on for dear life to my bed frame and my right arm positioned on the bed, steadying myself so I don't fall into this bucket of my dispelled stomach contents.

It's a lot more difficult trying to aim for the bucket than it would seem – especially since I'm having the hangover of the century; last night must have been rough because I don't remember a _thing_.

Either that or I managed to pick up the Norwalk virus again. "Fuckin Norwalk..." I mutter.

I feel my abdomen contracting tightly as I try and regain my composure but _fuck_ – here we go again. All over the fucking feet of whoever is dutiful enough to stand there holding a bucket. Carlisle must have given them a raise.

The contracting gets worse and I gasp to try and get a breath in before I feel the pressure release and _holy shit I yack once more._

_Must have been tequila. _

I finally catch a break in this horrible cycle and fall back into my soft pillow. _Heaven_.

Someone is standing at the edge of my bed. I rub my eyes trying to decipher and... _Bella?_

She's sitting there all pale as a ghost looking like she hadn't slept in a long effin time. _She__'__s got terrible bags under her eyes... _

Wait, _Bella _is here? Fuck.

"Bella?" My voice came out raspy and felt like I hadn't used it in years. "What the hell are you doing here? Did we...?" Fuck I hope I didn't have drunken sex with her and not remember a fuckin' thing today. That's not cool.

"No, no," she shook her head slowly and took a seat beside me on the bed, putting the bucket down in clear sight and easy access for me.

Crap. _She_ was holding the bucket? What a saint... an angel.

_Angel_. I dreamt of angels last night. Bella as an angel, actually. She was glowing and beautiful and wearing some white see-through nightgown. If I go to heaven, which is very unlikely--let's be realistic here--but if for some reason God is a chick who wants a taste of my mad sex skills or for some reason deems me fit for her kingdom, I hope it's full of virgins wearing what Bella wore in my dream. And she should be there too.

"Where the hell did we go last night? I haven't felt this rough since... well fuck, probably since the first time I got drunk. But this might actually be worse. It's hard to tell."

She didn't seem to be amused by my rambling on.

"You. Don't. Remember?" Her jaw dropped.

_Fuck_, did I bring someone else home? _Jesus Christ, I hope I didn__'__t bring some other chick home..._

Goddamn it the sun is friggin' bright. "Close the shutters, will ya?"

My nausea was ceasing but not before I got another pain in my stomach. And the dry heaving starts...

Nope definitely not dry. _Fuck_.

I didn't make the bucket and spewed all over the floors again.

Gah.

"C-can you g-grab...me... some g-gravol or...some s-shit?" I choked between gasps of air.

"NO." Bella said firmly, practically shouting.

"CHRIST!! KEEP IT DOWN!" I shouted back. I had a throbbing headache and felt like death.

She was startled by my fit of rage and now I felt guilty. Way to go, dickwad.

I heard a soft tap on my door followed by what sounded like a parade of people. _Jesus_, what was this? A public showing of my slow and painful death?

It took every ounce of strength in my body to lift myself up and I propped my back against the wall slowly and steadily because this vomit thing was getting to be problematic. It was fuckin' unpredictable too.

I looked across the room; Alice, Jasper, Emmett were all standing there, eyes wide and in complete shock.

They didn't look hungover.

"Good afternoon, sunshine!" Alice's chirpy singsong voice was enough to make me vomit again.

"Looking good, asshole," Rose hissed and Alice smacked her arm. "I'm just sayin'!" she threw her arms up defensively. "_At least he__'__s alive_," she muttered.

"He doesn't remember a goddamn thing," Bella growled.

I closed my eyes hoping they would bicker elsewhere.

"We should let him rest," I heard Jazz say.

"No, we most certainly should not. He should know exactly what he did to us," Rose sneered.

"Let's have it," I said, accepting defeat. When Rose was pissed that meant there would be hell to pay. She never let a grudge go. _I probably made another drunken belligerent mess of myself..._

Emmett looked none too pleased with me either. His arms were crossed across his broad body and his fists were clenched tightly. I raised my eyebrow at him hoping he could help a brother out but he just clenched his jaw, holding back the rage that was bottled up in the bear's den.

He looked ready to give me an ass beating. _Not again_, I pleaded. My weak and frail body can't take that shit today.

"You got into some serious shit, Edward," Jasper said, and for once his attempt at soothing the tension in the room didn't work. "You fuckin' overdosed. On what, we still don't know. You've been out for two days."

Um, what?

"F-funny. Seriously, w-what happened?" my voice trembled; I barely had the strength to talk.

I cleared my throat and could taste the chunks of vomit at the pit of my esophagus.

"We're not fucking around, Edward!" Bella shrieked. And if looks could kill... "You fucking asshole!! Jasper and I were driving around and we saw your car parked on the side of the road so we go follow your tracks and you're lying there in the snow passed out cold for god knows how long and I seriously thought you had one foot in the grave and then I call Carlisle because the police would only detain you – you had enough drugs in your pockets and body to sink a ship. No fucking joke. You are such an asshole." She inhaled and then exhaled loudly, her whole body shaking with anger.

She stormed out of the room and Jasper ran after her.

Alice and Rose gave me stern looks and followed them out of the room.

I was left in my bedroom with Emmett, who was eyeing me carefully throughout Bella's rant.

"Buddy. You're a fucking idiot. You scared the shit out of us." Emmett took a seat at the foot of my bed, scrunching his nose up at the puke smell. He peered over at the bucket on the floor and shuddered.

"I-I'm sorry," I said, not really knowing what else to say.

"Were you seriously trying to kill yourself? I'm not gonna beat around the bush because I'm not that kinda guy. But this is the elephant in the room and I'm gonna address it."

_Was I trying to kill myself? Was he fucking serious? Well judging by his face this was no joke at all. But why the fuck would I kill myself? I fuckin' _love_ myself!_

"I don't think so."

"Good. Because this is some fucked up shit." Emmett rubbed his eyes with his fists and yawned. "We've been here since Wednesday night and Bella hasn't left your side. She wouldn't even sleep. Wouldn't leave the room. We had to get Aro to bring her food. And Carlisle couldn't exactly do anything will all his skill because we had no clue what you OD'ed on. You had just about every type of drug in your pockets and likely in your system. Giving you morphine would only feed your high, or low, or whatever the fuck you had goin' on."

I remembered buying acid a couple days before and I remember being high as fuck in the woods. But anything after that, I didn't have a clue about.

"And you fuckin' drove, man! How the FUCK could you operate a vehicle?! You've been lying in bed barely breathing for the last two days and you _attempted to drive_ with all that shit in your system?!" he bellowed.

I growled under my breath, trying not to scream at him for causing my head to nearly explode with his outburst.

"I dunno man. But what I do know is I feel like absolute shit."

"I don't fuckin' doubt it. Your body is going through mad withdrawal. You and me did shrooms the night before your overdose, you've been shooting coke like it's your job, you get high as fuck every hour on the hour, PLUS you had a shit load of random prescription pills in your pocket and _acid_. DUDE. If you're gonna get all psychedelic on my ass, you have to have people around you. Plus that shit is fucked up. That shit comes back to HAUNT YOU."

I took Emmett's warning and nodded my head to let him know I got what he was saying.

He was usually the first one to join in my drug experimentation – so the fact that he was sitting here lecturing me on the dangers of drugs meant this shit was _serious_.

"I'm sorry man. I really am –"

"I don't fuckin' wanna hear it. If you're gonna apologize to someone, the FIRST person you owe an apology to is Bella. You fuckin' tell her you love her and then two days later attempt suicide-"

"I didn't attempt suicide."

"Call it what you want, but you're fucked up, my friend. Carlisle is getting your ass in therapy or rehab or some shit before you can even say 'pass me a joint.'"

He gave me a concerned look and then left.

I got up and steadied myself along the walls, holding my vomit bucket in one hand just in case. I needed to find an icepack or some shit for this pounding headache.

_Where the fuck is all the hired help when you need them? _

I made it to the staircase when I saw them all having a conference at the bottom of the stairs. Bella had one hand on the doorknob and Jasper was trying to convince her of something. The headache was seriously impairing my hearing so I couldn't pick up shit from their conversation.

I felt my stomach contract and I groaned loudly. They all turned to stare at me and I held my finger up and heaved into the bucket, throwing my body against the wall for stability in the process.

_Ugh, the taste of vomit burned my throat and it was nasty. _

"Sorry 'bout that," I croaked, grabbing the railing to make my way down the next flight of stairs.

"CULLEN, you don't need to be here," Jasper shouted, giving me a dismissive wave of his hand.

"Uh, last time I checked WHITLOCK, this is _my_ house."

"Last time, I checked you fucking broke Bella's heart and nearly killed yourself," he shot back.

"Last time I checked I told _her_ I loved her and she didn't say shit back. And that's got nothing to do with this shit, Whitlock. _Fuck_," I angrily shook my head and _holy shit_ another wave of vomit.

They all rolled their eyes while I gave them the "hold on a sec" signal and emptied the rest of my guts into the bucket. I saw the glorious fluorescent yellow shade of bile and knew the puking was over.

_About fucking time. _

The bile tasted viler than anything else in the world... so bitter and strong. _Guh_. Goosebumps spread across my body and I shuddered rather violently.

I took a second to collect my thoughts; I needed Jasper and them to leave so I could have a serious discussion with her.

"Bella, we need to talk. Clearly I'm missing out on a few things since I've apparently been in a coma the last couple days." I attempted the best crooked grin that chicks loved so much but it probably came across as a wince.

"He's in pain. I'll stay for a bit," Bella said quietly. She looked around for the approval of everyone else who just nodded in agreement, except for Whitlock.

She shot him a glare that said, "don't fucking start..."

Fuckin' Whitlock.

_Asshole_.

"I swear to god Cullen – if you ever pull that kinda shit on Bella again, I'll make what you just went through feel like a walk in the fucking park," Jasper grumbled through his teeth.

Point taken.

Bella came up the stairs, keeping a safe distance from me. I don't know what the fuck she was scared of – in this state I couldn't even kill a fly.

I hobbled into my bedroom, put my bucket by my side on the floor and collapsed on my bed.

"You scared me, Edward," Bella said softly. I looked up at her and she was forcing back tears. I felt like a first class idiot.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I really am. I was just fucking around though, really," I tried to convince her that I really was not attempting to take my life. What the fuck made her think I'd want to do that?

She turned her back to me and was silent for a minute. I could see her body shaking like a delicate leaf and I gently placed my hand on her shoulder to calm her.

She turned around and tears were streaming down her beautiful but agonized face.

_The sight fuckin' broke my heart._

"Bella, come here," I wiggled toward her and wrapped my arm around her, and she dug her face in my shoulder and let it all out.

"D-Don't e-ever do that again," she managed in between sobs.

I gently pulled her back and moved over so she could lie down beside me.

As she hugged her knees in a fetal position I covered her in blankets and lay down beside her, rubbing her back in soothing circles.

She began to say something but choked on her words and got into a big crying fit, hyperventilating in between sobs and everything. I moved closer to her and then pulled her to face me and wrapped both of my arms around her tightly.

She dug her face deeper into my chest and my shirt was wet with her tears in seconds.

"Bella, I'm okay, really," I said, gently stroking her hair. "It's just like having a really shitty hangover, that's all... I promise."

"S-say it. Tell me that it won't e-ever happ-pen again," she said, her breathing all broken up with sobs.

I gently lifted up her chin with my index finger and looked her in her pained eyes; when she was sad like this her beautiful brown eyes expressed the agony unlike I'd ever seen anyone hurt before and it just _tore me apart._

"Bella," I said, looking deep into her eyes. "Bella, I promise you that as long as I live I will never, ever hurt you ever again." I rubbed the small of her back and could feel her adorable back dimples.

Slowly she calmed down from my alternating between rubbing her back and stroking her hair, and her sobs became few and far between.

When she was all settled down I kissed her forehead, her cute little nose, and then her lips. Her nose was all runny and her lips tasted all salty from her tears.

I didn't know how she'd react to my kiss. It was deep and meaningful and expressed my feelings more than words ever could.

I needed her to know that I meant it when I said I loved her.

Slowly lifting up her chin with my finger, I looked into her eyes, pain emanating from mine.

"Bella, you gotta stay away from me so I can't hurt you anymore."

It killed me to say this, but I had to. I winced at her anticipated reaction.

Even though I knew I would sooner take my own life than see Bella hurt this way again, I couldn't keep her away from someone who would be better for her.

Someone without any baggage; someone who wasn't capable of running away from her.

She looked up at me with confused and hurt eyes. Seeing that look on her face hurt but she needed to hear it.

"Wh-what do you mean?" she stuttered "H-how can you say that to me? I mean after what you just put me through -"

"Exactly... after what_ I_ put you through." I was completely to blame. I jerked her around and she didn't deserve that. Nobody did.

"N-no! Just no!"

I could feel her heart pick up and her eyes fluttered fervently; and then, she started sobbing again. But this time it wasn't sad sobbing – it was hysterical sobbing, filled with fear and distress.

I gently stroked her hair and soothed her. I leaned in, touched my hand to her cheek and brought our faces together and kissed her forehead, resting my lips there for a long time. I took in her glorious scent – strawberries and heaven –before releasing her.

I cupped her cheeks and rubbed my thumbs against them gently. She looked just like an angel; her face was flushed from crying and I couldn't bear to hurt her any longer.

"I'm here, Bella. I'll always be here for you," I paused and gently pressed my forehead against hers, trying to bring her as close as possible, trying to hold her and express everything I needed her to hear. "As long as you want me, I'm yours."

Bella sighed and her body released all her pent up anxiety and pain. She sniffled and moved her soft lips down to mine and gave me the sweetest, most meaningful kiss ever.

When she was about to back away, I drew her in closer, parted my mouth and slowly ran my tongue around her lips, savouring her taste.

I loved this girl. Knowing what true love felt like for the first time, I knew I'd never, ever be able to hurt her. I would do anything to keep Bella unharmed.

"I love you, Edward" she whispered.

_Sweeter words have never been spoken. _


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. Leon MR AWESOME PANTS rocks my socks. My reviewers rock my socks too. **

**BPOV**

It was the Monday after Edward's near death experience and his first day back at school in a week.

Somehow we managed to keep the drama to a minimum; and, for the most part, everything remained on a need-to-know basis. People generally assumed that, when Edward Cullen took a week off school, he was traipsing around Europe or sailing the Mediterranean or something equally exciting and far-fetched. Needless to say, few questions were raised.

My weekend with Edward was fabulous. Saturday was focused on his rehabilitation; we spent it napping, watching 1980's John Hughes classics that I forced him to watch, and just chilling in general.

Sunday was pretty much the same. My favourite part of the weekend was snuggling up under the blankets with him on the couch and watching cheesy romantic comedies on the flatscreen.

After watching Pretty in Pink, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Sixteen Candles and Can't Buy Me Love, Edward put his foot down and insisted on watching Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas followed by American Psycho.

It was a reasonable request, I supposed.

Today Edward was picking me and driving me to school, which would cause some serious hearts to break and some serious drama to follow. It was the last week before the Christmas holidays, and therefore the week of our biology final.

Crappy.

I looked at my bedroom mirror and the reflection was just disastrous; my hair was knotted and resembles a rat's nest and I had huge bags under my eyes. I was up the entire night studying for this exam; I totally missed out on studying over the weekend to hang out with Edward.

I made an attempt to quiz him once on Saturday so that he wouldn't fail, and believe me, that was the least of my concerns. Every single question I asked, he answered correctly without a millisecond of hesitation.

"_Osmosis."_

"_A selectively permeable membrane."_

"_Endoplasmic reticulum."_

_  
__"__0.9% NaCl."_

"_Isotonic to solution B."_

It was very discouraging.

When I asked him how the hell he managed to pull that off without studying, he simply said, "photographic memory," and tapped his forehead.

_Cheater_.

So since I didn't possess a photographic memory, I had to do it the hard way, just like everyone else.

I reassessed my unfortunate appearance and concluded that this would be a terrible day to debut myself as Edward's girlfriend. "The girl with the bags and rats' nest hair..."

I settled on wearing my new tightass jeans that Edward bought me and a white waffle-knit Henley from American Apparel, paired with my old standby black and white Chuck Taylor's. I never wrote an exam without my Chuck Taylor's and today would be no day to break tradition.

I ran a comb through my hair and it refused to cooperate so I just pulled it all back into a messy ponytail.

As I was brushing my teeth and humming _Twist and Shout_ from Ferris Bueller, throwing in the occasional booty shake here and there, I spit out my toothpaste in the sink and look up and see Edward's reflection in the mirror.

_JESUSFUCKINGCHRIST_.

"Are you crazy!?!" I whipped around, jumping out of my skin. "Are you _trying_ to give me a heart attack?!"

After taking a second to get my heartbeat back to a normal pace I lightly punch his chest and he's got a huge grin on his face. "I think I'm at a greater risk of that than you, baby."

OH! He called me baby. _I melted. _

I wrapped my arms around his neck and made a trail of kisses from his neck up to his lips. He pulled me in closer by my waist and dove in for one hell of a passionate kiss on my lips, eyes closed and everything.

_He was an incredible kisser. _He slid his tongue between our parted mouths ever so slowly and I hated it when he teased me like that. I could taste him and it was wonderful and my knees buckled at the sensation of being kissed that way.

I was breathless and blushing and he took my hand and led me out of the bathroom and down the stairs.

Rose was sitting in the kitchen in her frilly pink bathrobe having a smoke and reading _Cosmo_.

"Don't smoke in the house, Esme will freak," I warned. Esme was unaware of her daughter's filthy smoking habit but being something of a smoker myself we agreed to keep things on the D.L. and hide it best as best we could.

"Yeah, whatever. See you at school, assholes," she sneered. She was pissed that I was hanging out with Edward after what he did, but I didn't care. She was overly critical about everything anyway and Edward needed someone more than ever right now.

"Bye-bye Rose-a-lee," Edward said, in the fakest sweet voice he could muster.

She rolled her eyes then stormed out of the room.

I hopped into Edward's car and there were two Starbucks cups in the cup holders.

"For me?" I asked.

He nodded. "Of course."

_He was too sweet. _

"You know, Edward," I said, buckling into my seatbelt, "if you hadn't taken ten years off my life by nearly killing yourself last Wednesday, I'd say you're being super sweet."

He jerked into second gear and sped out of the driveway, "And why can't you say that anymore?" He furrowed his brows.

"Well, because I know the real Edward Cullen and you're just sucking up big time so I don't beat your ass," I retorted.

He chuckled and nodded his head, "You could make a plausible argument based on that."

He took a sip of his latte and I did the same.

"Mmmm. You remembered I like chai tea lattes."

He nodded. "I remember more than you think, Bella."

"Photographic memory?" I asked, tapping my forehead.

He nodded. "It comes in handy."

_Cheater. _

We pulled into the school parking lot and the bell hadn't rung yet which meant the whole bloody student body was lounging around the front of the school.

Edward took a deep breath, bracing himself for the crowd, and came around to my side of the car and opened the door.

Edward was being quite the gentleman lately; chivalry was so not dead.

I wondered if Tanya or any other girl had ever seen this side of him. The side of him that cuddled under the blankets for two days, watching chick flicks with me just so he could smile--or so he said.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and squeezed me tightly, and slid his Ray-Ban wayfarers on.

The entire school shifted their gaze toward us, and I felt a blush form across my cheeks. Edward flashed me a cocky grin and pecked me on the lips and we made our way through the crowd.

"You're gonna break a lot of hearts today Edward Cullen," I said, grinning back at him.

The fact that he looked like pure sex probably didn't hurt either; he wore his grey pea coat and a grey button-down shirt with the top two buttons undone revealing a bit of his sexy chest, paired with black pants. And of course, his favourite black-with-a-white-Nike-check cross trainers.

Jessica Stanley's mouth must have dropped to the ground when she saw me – simple ol' Bella Swan – hanging on Edward Cullen's arm. Bitch couldn't fathom the concept. I snickered and gave her a conceited grin.

"Cullen... did you find yourself a new toy?" she sneered, looking me up and down like I was a fucking leper.

"No, this one's more than a toy, Stanley," he replied nonchalantly, not even looking at her.

Stanley was hard to miss on the average day and today was absolutely no exception; she was fully slutted up head to toe. Bitch completely stole my style. She wore a tight black cropped vest with a super low v-neck and one hell of a push-up bra to accentuate her better assets and super low rise jeans. She must have been fucking freezing. It was mid-December in Forks and she looked like a fucking skank.

"Been raiding my closet, Stanley?" I chirped, squeezing Edward closer to me to show them he was _all mine_ and their slutty hands would never come close to him again.

She shot me a fierce glare and sauntered over to Lauren Mallory, who was also sporting the vest and push-up bra fashion.

I rolled my eyes at them and almost felt sorry for how pathetic they were.

Edward slapped my ass as we passed them – normally I'd have been mildly offended but right now it was just what they needed.

"So, I guess you're done with our whole threesome idea," Lauren shouted out at him.

He paused for a second and deliberated. "Rain check?" he said, turning to them.

I couldn't tell if he was joking or not but I didn't care. He was with me right now – and as long as I wanted he was mine.

Lauren snorted in disgust and gave me another critical stare down before Edward and I entered the school.

We turned down the hall and right near my locker, Jasper was standing with his arms crossed – looking super unimpressed.

I raised my eyebrow at him hoping to get a drift of why he was standing at my locker looking like he wanted to kill someone.

"Bella, you, me – outside, now." He grabbed my hand forcefully.

Edward calmly grabbed Jasper's arm that was holding on to my arm and broke his grip. "Bella can speak for herself, Whitlock."

"Quit flattering yourself, Cullen. This has nothing to do with you," Jasper snapped back.

Ugh. Drama. On a Monday fuckin' morning.

I was _hoping_ to scan my notes a couple times before my exam but that was unlikely to happen now.

"Can it wait?" I asked, giving Jasper a pleading look.

His face softened for a second but he looked at Edward which made him all tense up again. He took a deep breath and clenched his jaw. "No."

I threw my head back in annoyance. "Alright, but make it quick. I have an exam to write," I shot Edward an apologetic glance then took Jasper's hand and followed him back out to the parking lot to his car.

"Are you going to tell me what's up now?" I spat, breaking away from the iron grip he had on my hand.

"Calm down, Bella," Jasper said soothingly. Damn him for trying to calm me the fuck down. It wasn't working this time, buddy.

"Give me a fuckin' smoke and then we'll see." I crossed my arms.

Jasper searched my face for a second and that made me fuckin' uncomfortable. He was so good at picking up on the moods of others and then bringing them to a calmer state that I couldn't fight it. I looked away to avoid his pleading expression.

He huffed at his failed attempt and then lit us each a smoke. We took a couple hits and I sat down on the grass of the soccer field right behind his car. The grass was cold and wet and covered in permafrost. He noticed my discomfort and passed me his black North Face down jacket to sit on.

"Thanks," I said sincerely. I could never stay mad at Jasper. I at least had to hear him out. I motioned for him to sit down beside me and he smiled and took a seat.

"Bella, let's just think about this for a minute. How long have you known Cullen?"

What the hell kinda question is that? "Uhm, let's see... four months-ish," I said tentatively.

"Right, roughly. And I've known you longer than he has, albeit only by a month and a bit, but still – longer. And I saw you when you came back and how you were after your mom... well, you know. You were in a rough place in your life."

I nodded slowly, wondering exactly what he was going to propose. I was sick of people treating me so fragilely because my mom died. Not like anything could bring her back.

"I have known Cullen my entire life, or as long as I can remember. He's been a decent friend but that's all I'd ever expect from him. I mean, hell, he's my best friend – always has been. But fuck, look at him. Fucking a new girl every day of the week, doin' all sorts of drugs all the time, his stupid coke addiction – shit like that does not make for a good boyfriend," he concluded, setting his gaze beyond the soccer field.

"Yeah... but I've also seen a side of Edward Cullen that most people haven't. I mean, he said he loved me," I retorted. I wasn't going to give up on Edward before giving him a chance. He at least deserved that much.

Jasper took a deep sigh. "Bella. Our Whistler trip is in a few days. We're _all_ going up there. Hell, half the school goes. We're staying in Alice's family's cottage which is fucking incredible, but that's beside the point. I just want you to take it slow with Edward. I'd hate for you to destroy a friendship that could have been. And believe me, he's a good friend when it comes down to it," he gave me another genuine smile. "And I don't want you to fuck up your first visit to Whistler," he added.

"I can have more than a friendship with him; he told me as much," I pressed.

"Yes but he also warned you – over and over again. He basically pleaded for you to not go out with him. Why the hell would he do that if it wasn't entirely necessary?"

I pondered this for a minute. Edward did make it clear that I was better off not dating him but he also promised me that I was his as long as I wanted him to be.

"He was being polite, obviously," I replied.

Jasper snorted. "Cullen doesn't do polite, Bella. He knows he's bad. Did you even ever agree to have a monogamous relationship? Because even when he had that... well, _thing_ with Tanya, he still did a bunch of other chicks on the side. And what if I told you he did something terrible?"

"At this point, I wouldn't put it past you to lie about something like that."

Jasper took that comment like a slap in the face and just stared at me wide eyed for a moment. He shook some thoughts out of his head and took another deep breath.

"Anyway, I really don't want to get into specifics. But I will if I have to. I'm just worried about you. I want you to know that."

"What was your fight about?" I was sick of him beating around the bush and I wanted a straight answer already.

"Nothing you need to be concerned about," he said firmly.

Normally I would press him for more, but I could tell he really wasn't in the mood. And anything I'd hear from him would likely be skewed at this point anyway. I was getting sick of his displaced anger toward Edward affecting his objectivity.

"Jazz, we'll discuss this at our next chill, sheesh," I said, giving him the best smile I could. There were a million thoughts going through my head but I didn't want to lead on that his talk was a deterrent.

"`kay, as long as it remains as such my Bella – a _chill_ discussion." By the tone of his voice, I could tell Jazz had simmered down and I'd worry about raising the issue again later.

I headed back to the school and arrived in bio five minutes late, earning a mini lecture from Molina ("I won't have my biology exam turned into a mockery by you, Ms. Swan...", and then something else about circus animals and a clown) and a smug snicker from Edward.

I walked over to our lab table and he made a point of covering his paper with his elbow.

What a tool. I stuck out my tongue at him and he winked back at me.

Fucking sexy as hell.

Now, thanks to that little gesture, I couldn't pay attention to the exam in front of me.

I tried thinking back to the brief study session I had with Edward and all I could remember was how sexy his hair was--all mussed and disheveled--and I couldn't quite decipher if that was done intentionally or if he really did wake up looking like sex. I suppose when he woke up from his almost-coma he was as dreamy as ever aside from being pale as a ghost and spewing his guts out into a bucket. I concluded by that little deduction that Edward Cullen indeed woke up looking like sex and any extra effort he put into his appearance significantly amplified his sex appeal.

I remember his eyes, how they sparkled when I asked him a question because he was just so sure of himself, and that's when the cocky little grin formed on his face – after he aced ten questions in a row.

I look over at him and he's scribbling away on the scrap piece of paper provided for formulas, etc. Mine was completely blank. As soon as I looked over at him, he shot me a mock warning look as if to say Molina would bust me for cheating. I _wished_ I was cheating – at least then I'd be doing something relatively productive. Instead I was mindlessly staring into the eyes of Edward Cullen – my lover and opponent, oblivious as to how much time was left to finish up this exam.

I glanced over at the clock and it had already been an hour. My sheet was still completely blank aside from a few squiggles here and there.

I had one hour left to answer sixty questions.

Fuck's sake.

I scanned the room and everyone's attention was focused on their papers and they were all writing frantically to get the exam done and get the hell out of here.

Fuckin' Molina just had to book his exam on the very last day. Prick probably didn't even have a social life. He was probably sitting at home with his twelve cats over the holidays.

_Okay Bella. _Focus_. Fucking focus on your paper and not Edward Cullen or anyone else for that matter. You need to get into Harvard. Failure is NOT an option. _

The next hour flew by. I didn't know what it was but it felt like instantly a surge of energy and intellect ran through my veins and I was able to focus on the exam and was confident with each and every question I answered.

I was still writing when Molina cleared his throat and announced, "Pencils down!" and I finished up what I was doing in those brief three seconds, signed my name at the top and took a huge sigh of relief.

I wrote the entire two hour exam in less than one hour because I spent half the allotted time dilly dallying.

I was the last person to hand my paper in and I left the room feeling better about my day already.

Jasper was waiting for me in the hall, his black puffer jacket already on but unzipped, revealing the red plaid shirt he was wearing with a pair of ripped jeans.

"Did ya ace it?" he asked. He was leaning against some poor unsuspecting girl's locker and didn't seem to notice her trying to creep around him to gain access of it.

"Yeah, prol'ly. Um... Jazz?" I motioned to the skinny, awkward niner who stood there timidly waiting for him to realize he was in her way.

"Oh sorry, hun," he chuckled and patted her on the head before moving out of the way. Jasper was such a warm and approachable guy and the girl blushed furiously from the fact that he'd acknowledged her.

"Not a problem, Jasper," she squeaked. It was evident this little mouse had a crush on him; she knew his name! I guess everyone at the school knew our names though. I mean, we were Forks High royalty after all.

We sauntered down the hall, making our way through the mobs of people who were standing around, saying their last goodbyes before the holidays.

"Shit son! We gotta party tonight," I heard Emmett's booming voice behind us. He threw his arm around Jasper's shoulder and joined our procession through the halls.

"Shit son is right," Jasper agreed half-heartedly. "First, I need a fucking nap."

"Ooh long night, Jasper?" Emmett taunted. "Could the cause of that possibly be a devious little sprite...? Come to think of it, she did look like she'd been to hell and back this morning," he concluded.

"Good one, Em. That pixie's been getting into no good, hasn't she? Corrupting our little Jasper," I chimed in.

Looking thoroughly irritated, Jasper padded his jacket down in search for his smokes and stuck one in his mouth before even exiting the school.

As soon as we hit the pavement, he lit it and Emmett and I raised our eyebrows at each other wondering what the heck his deal was.

"PMS," Emmett mouthed over to me. I burst out into laughter and Jasper just rolled his eyes and walked ahead to his car.

"See you children later? Another belligerent debauchery tonight, I assume... Cullen's place?" he called out.

I shrugged my shoulders indifferently. "Lemme know the when/where and I'm there," I said back. I blew him a kiss and he drove off.

"So you and Cullen, eh?" Emmett chided. He was so getting on everyone's nerves today.

"Well, aren't you just a gossiping Betty today," I observed.

"Dodging the question, Swan?"

I hesitated. "I'm not sure what we are. You'll have to get the briefing from Edward. Taking it one day at a time as far as I know."

"As long as you don't expect him to look further into the future than one day," he added cautiously.

Really? Was he going to lecture me too?

"Ya, I'm aware Cullen won't be held down by a chick. But I think I'm different." Obviously I was different. He told me he loved me for Christ's sake.

"That's what she said..."

"Emmett, it's been real nice chit chatting with you but I believe you have got a plane to Cancun to catch in T-minus five hours; and if you're anything like your girlfriend, you haven't started packing yet."

He chuckled and glanced at his watch. "Shit, you're right; thanks Swan."

"Pack an extra suitcase, an empty one for all of Rose's shopping purchases."

We went our separate ways, Emmett to his Range Rover and me to Alice's yellow Porsche of Doom.

"Hello missy," Alice chirped as soon as I leaned back on the plush leather seats and buckled up for dear life.

"Hey, sorry I'm late. Your boyfriend and Emmett were holding me up."

Alice jerked the car into gear and sped out of the school parking lot, cutting off three buses and almost causing a collision.

"NOT my boyfriend," she said sourly, squinting into the rear-view mirror to apply lip gloss.

_Dear Lord, keep your eyes on the road, woman!_

"Oh really, all's quiet on the Jasper front?" I pried. I was so uneasy when I was in the car with Alice behind the wheel and could only pray that Dr. Porsche installed state of the art safety features in this car.

"More like all's _dead_ on the Jasper front. He's fucking not interested Bells. He only wants to hang out with YOU," she said accusatorily.

Come to think of it, he rarely made time for Alice unless we were hanging out as a group. Whenever he was alone, he'd call me up to chill and I didn't think to ask him about it.

"Well, I dunno, maybe I'm just more fun," I teased.

She shot me a fierce glare and I instantly regretted what I'd said.

"Uh, joking..." I trailed off, looking away.

"See, but what if that is true? What if I'm just an annoying materialistic pixie and he doesn't see any reason to be with someone like me? He thinks all I do is shop, did you know that?" she exclaimed, her voice getting impossibly higher and turning into a shriek.

It didn't surprise me that he held that opinion since every time he called her she was shopping. We were on our way to the mall now for some post-exam shopping spree.

"Well, I don't think that's true, Alice. Everyone knows how great you are. I mean you've known each other for how long?"

Everyone thought that was true, Alice. Everyone knew she was a shopaholic. Everyone knew she was into fashion. There was little evidence that she was actually interested in anything other than shopping and fashion. I mean, she hid a _Vogue_ in her math textbook and read it during class – everyone knew she only passed math because her dad paid off Mr. Robertson.

"Well, awhile, I suppose," she said quietly. "But we've hung out as a group only and it's always been more of a mutual friendship between me, Cullen and Jasper and then there was Rose and Emmett who upset the balance by fucking each other and then dating; but, like, what if he doesn't see me that way because we've been friends for so long? What if it's like incestuous to him? What's that saying about shitting where you eat...?"

"Um, I'm not sure but it sounds gross and I don't see how that would apply here." Shitting where you eat? What the hell... "All you need is a trip to the mall and that will fix everything. I'll even buy you your favourite double chocolate chip frapuccino." Bribing Alice with chocolate and shopping would cure all Jasper heartache she was feeling.

"Aw, you're right, babe. Now I totally remember why you're my new best friend," she said, a large grin forming on her lips.

As soon as we got into the mall Alice made a beeline for the bathrooms and I took it as an opportunity to see what the hell Jasper's deal was.

I flipped open my phone and sent him a quick text: _"__shopping w/ grumpy Al. What is ur deal... i__'__ll call u asap when i__'__m done. we__'__re talking bout this shit."_

Jasper replied almost instantly: "_Nothin to discuss. Don__'__t shit where u eat."_

What the hell was with that saying? Must be some Forks saying because I'd never heard of it before and it sounded absolutely crude.

"Oooh! Are you textin' the boy toy?" Alice squealed behind me. Not _my_ boy toy.

"No, but are you going to lecture me about him too?" I was sick of hearing all this crap about Edward and shitting in the kitchen or whatever they were on about.

"Why would I? If you want to have dinner on the toilet, that is your guys' prerogative."

Seriously. Ew.

"You're saying that it's a bad idea to date a friend?" I wanted her to say 'yes' so I could pounce all over her about Jazz.

"I'm saying, it's a bad idea to date Edward Cullen; and it's a good idea to keep him as just a friend or just a fuck buddy but neither both or in between. I know my cousin; he's always been weird like that. He never lets the two cross-over."

"What about Tanya?" I challenged.

"Tanya was a family friend. And Tanya was a slut. He didn't have feelings for her aside from the fact that he liked to parade her around because she was the hottest piece of ass he got with. Plus, the college factor. Strictly fuck buddies though, hun. No romance there," she paused. "OOH, cute dress!!"

She dragged me into Prada and we spent the next hour and a half in there blowing her daddy's money.

Humph.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Short chapter. Just developing the characters... let me know what you think by LEAVING REVIEWS!!! I appreciate everyone who's adding me to their faves and subscribing for updates. But I can't determine what works and what doesn't work for you guys if you don't let me know! **

**And as always my favourite person in the world is LEON! MR AWESOME PANTS MR GREAT EDITING SKILLS LEONNNNN. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight! But I do own THIS version of Edward and I hope you like him just as much as Meyer's Edward...**

**EPOV**

Jasper was being a douche and Bella was being clingy which I loved but at the same time it drove me crazy. Such was the situation I managed to get myself into. I didn't regret my decisions, but Jasper was _THISCLOSE_ to succeeding in that. He was being an ultimate tool and just getting himself in business that wasn't his own. As if he should be advising people on relationships – he couldn't get the girl he wanted for four years and was now handing herself to him on a platter. Pussy.

I aced my exam this morning and darted out of school like a bat out of hell. I needed to get fucked up and with the twenty-four seven surveillance I was under with Carlisle's team of hired stalkers I had little chance of getting away with it anywhere within the vicinity of Forks.

Finally the holidays were here and I hadn't yet decided if I was going to Whistler. It'd be nice to hit the slopes but my Italy friends were hitting up Monte Carlo and I just wasn't sure I'd be able to bring myself to ditch on that chance. Maybe Bella would come.

_NO! _What the fuck was I thinking? Bella couldn't fuckin come. I was so torn when it came to her. Everything about her turned my life upside down and although I was in love with the girl – she was just so fucking incredible – I couldn't deny my track record and inability to _not_ break a girl's heart and destroy her. It felt selfish to allow her to be with me. Wrong and taking advantage of and just... _wrong_.

You have to man up eventually though, right Cullen? My conscious was telling me one thing but my body and mind were making a persuasive argument for the other side. I knew that if I loved her I'd have to let her go but I wasn't sure I was ready to do that. The bad boy in me wanted her all to myself; let her be exposed to all my vices and flaws and imperfections and then let her go broken and ruined. Staying with her was masochistic but so was leaving her. Either way I'd be fucked.

I heard my Blackberry vibrate in my pocket and I checked the new message. Bella. _"Coffee date? I have a 3-9 at Starbs."_

My heart skipped a beat and I felt so fucking lame. _I love you, I love you not. I need you, I'll break your heart. I want you..._

"_I'll be there at 6, plan ur break for then."_

I was halfway to Seattle and didn't want to waste a perfectly good trip to get high and wallow in my misery for awhile. I was so brooding. More brooding than _O.C. _guy who's always brooding. I was like a fucking pathetic brooding motherfucker from a teenage drama series. _And the Teen Choice Award goes to..._

I glanced at the clock; twelve-thirty. I'd have tons of time to make it to Seattle and back by then if I took the back roads. Luckily I decided on the Vantage for the day.

My phone vibrated again. _"Looking forward to it."_ I'm pretty sure I fucking smiled to myself.

I shifted up a gear and sped down the ramp to get off the highway so I could take the country roads.

I made a mental list of shit I had to pick up while in the city – jeans, new jacket, couple polo's and sweaters, shades, and perhaps meet with Seattle's finest coke dealer.

The fact that my stomach turned when I thought about calling Johnny for coke was an indication I was fully pussy whipped. Bella didn't like it when I did coke and therefore I didn't like it when I did coke. Such was the state of my new existence.

After rocking out to Led Zep's finest from Houses of the Holy the whole way to the city I parked outside the big brick building which was coincidentally Tiffany's. Perhaps some new cufflinks would be in store for prom. I decided to check it out after I completely my more pressing errands – Tiffany's would wait.

I zipped through Nordstrom's, picking up everything I needed in record time thanks to the help of Sophie, a fine Swedish exchange student who was at least a D-cup and a _natural_ blonde. I left her a hefty tip and was happy that I hadn't completely lost all signs of the good ol' Edward Cullen; pre-Bella, womanizing version.

After grabbing a coffee I made it back to Tiffany's and I checked my progress. I could easily fit in a quickie so I ran inside hoping someone could cater to me right away and I'd save time coming back here for prom.

"Hello Sir, can I help you with something?" A young twenty-something hot as hell brunette said as I entered the store. I approached her counter and noticed her silver name tag. "Julianne. Nice to meet you," I extended my hand. "Edward Cullen. I believe I have a file here."

She smiled and shook my hand and turned to her computer. "Let me just pull up your file so I can better serve you." She winked and holy fuck. Her innuendos were going to be the death of me. I checked her out up and down and for some reason I wasn't that excited about her appearance. I mean sure she was tall, thin, gorgeous – could easily be a model... but something was so totally generic and pedestrian about her. I'd experienced this a lot since I met Bella Swan; even the hottest girls paled in comparison to her quirky beauty, and it had become so tirelessly anticlimactic. And this chick – Julianne, I believe – was clearly not doing anything for me but serve me as a customer.

And I was completely happy with myself. I felt like a better person knowing that I was potentially a one-woman man. I think.

I must have been smiling like a fucking fool because she gave me the most confused expression and then flashed me a beautiful smile (one that she'd surely been complimented on before) and her bright white teeth were flawless. But it did absolutely nothing for me.

"See something you like?" she said and I swear to god she moaned as she approached me. She was closer than half a foot in front of me and breathed heavily on my face, lust exuding from every perfectly minimized pore in her body. She took in a deep breath no doubt inhaling me and it felt so weird and invasive. "Maybe something you'd like to see in the _back_ room?" she purred seductively, slowly circling me.

Nope. Nada. Zilch. Nothing.

"Say a fine lady like yourself," I said, taking a step back from her noxious desire, "could have _anything_ in this store. What would you take?"

Her eyes lit up and she was so full of her damn self she might have honestly thought I was going to buy her something. Or maybe she was waiting to answer "I'd take you Mr Cullen," or something equally unoriginal. Dull dull dull.

"Well, follow me and I'll show you. Perhaps we can try a couple things on?" I followed her up the stairs to the second floor and she made a point of shoving her ass in my face and swaying her hips to the point where she'd dislocate them. Normally that would have done the trick but not quite today. Such overt sexual tendencies were so passé. Bella on the other hand would be blushing furiously and stumbling all over the place and about ready to faint – now _that_ would surely get my blood flowing.

She stepped behind the counter and led me to a shelf of exorbitantly overpriced objects, all glittery and sparkly and blinging beyond reason.

"Something a bit more... modest?" I proposed. She eyeball-fucked the shit out of me and I chuckled nervously, looking around to see if there wasn't a nice sixty year old woman working today, or perhaps a gay male who might give me a break here.

I'm pretty sure she unbuttoned three of her buttons when she turned around and led me to another counter because she was busting out of her top. Definitely not Tiffany's etiquette. Maybe I'd report her to her superior. We were in Tiffany's for Christ's sake, not Zales. I mean, there was a certain standard to uphold here and this girl just wasn't meeting it.

I scanned the counter and saw a million things that would look beautiful on Bella. Normally this wouldn't be my style but it _was_ Christmas soon and we were kinda dating or whatever and it was expected of me to do something, right?

"How about that one," I said, pointing to a necklace that held both a silver open heart pendant and a tinier one of rose gold.

Her eyes widened for a second and then narrowed when she realized it was a more "humble" piece. "Ah yes. Hmm. The Elsa Peretti Open Heart Pendant with two petite hearts. Sterling silver and 18K rose gold. A fabulous choice."

I nodded and picked up the dainty piece. It was certainly Bella but not quite _enough_. She needed more, something that really stood out, and something as unique and breathtaking as her.

"Is this for a sister of yours, Mr. Cullen? Perhaps a cousin?" She was totally prying.

"Um yes, something like that." It was none of her goddamn business and if I told her it was for the love of my life my customer service would go down the shitter.

Her eyes lit up again and she flitted around the counter looking around for something.

"We also carry it with diamonds, sir," she offered, looking up to gauge my reaction.

Diamonds? My interest peaked. "Let's see it then." It might be damn near impossible for Bella to accept diamonds but I suppose I could tell her they were fake or something. I didn't want her to feel bad about accepting a gift from me so it couldn't be too over the top, but I still wanted to give her something special.

She brought over a similar looking necklace and laid it out on the black velvet pad on the countertop. It glittered and sparkled slightly and was absolutely stunning... it was so Bella.

"Pavé diamond pendant – platinum base, with a matching size 18 karat rose gold charm. You can mix and match these or wear just one pendant at a time," she said, opening the latch and removing one of the hearts, "like this. Very delicate and elegant, with a little something special added to it." She smiled widely. She was behaving a little more appropriately and I could actually focus on the product at hand.

I considered looking around briefly but I knew I wouldn't find anything that was more Bella than this. It was absolutely perfect and modest from afar but absolutely remarkable from up close.

"I'll take it." I decided.

"Wonderful!" She bustled over to the backroom and picked out a new one, already wrapped up in the distinct little blue box with a festive red ribbon.

"The two hearts, one diamond and one gold, signify the coming together of two hearts, each unique and special on their own, but absolutely incredible when worn together," she informed as she took my AmEx and rang it through.

"Four thousand nine hundred and seventy-three dollars with tax, sir," she informed me. I nodded, barely regarding what she'd said and she proceeded to ring it through.

My mind was distracted by what the FUCK I'd just done. I just sat in Tiffany's and actually put thought into buying a chick a present. I'm pretty sure Tanya never got presents and if for some mistake or lapse in my judgement she did it was likely chosen by Aro and wrapped and I didn't give a fucking shit what it was. Bella Swan is fucking me up good.

I left the store feeling like a million pounds heavier – stock full of extra burdens and bullshit. I gazed up at the struggling Atlas holding the giant clock on his shoulders and empathized with the poor guy. _I suppose you have a Bella Swan in your life too... _See I didn't even fucking need drugs and I was talking to bronze statues. He looked down at me like he knew I shared the weight of the heavens on my shoulders and fuck, is there really no way I can hit up Johnny?

_You're fucking stronger than that shit._

Doing coke would only worsen my mood and being guilty and high and driving an insanely fast motorized vehicle while in such a state of mind was enough to dissuade me.

I drove home – sober as fuck having NOT visited my drug guy – and decided to give her the gift tonight before I come to my senses and take it back. Not the gift of course, she could fucking keep it or sell it or do whatever the fuck she wanted with it. But the gesture. That alone was fatal.

As soon as I start giving her thoughtful gifts and shit it would actually mean something and it would be more permanent than I should ever allow it to be. Sure I love her, but actually acting on it and doing sensitive shit like this was a whole other ballpark. Loving her from a distance and keeping her close as a friend and being content with that because I actually care about her as a person is what I should be doing. Committing to a relationship with the guarantee of fucking it up royally was abhorrent.

Even though Jazz was being a fucking douche bag, she'd be a hell of a lot better off with him. Sure he was a player but not deep down, and not a player with a cause like me. He was just going around doing whatever made him happy but when it came down to it, he would commit and he would do it well. That's why I was cool with him dating Alice but judging by their lack of communication lately it was safe to assume that 'budding romance' was on the backburner. I honestly think deep down he'd jump at the opportunity to date Bella. The two of them were just so alike and what differences they had would only complement each other... and I definitely wasn't the only one to see it.

Should I make the ultimate sacrifice? Am I actually strong enough to make it? Fuck that. If I'm willing to take the risk of getting fucked up and she is too, then what the hell am I worrying about?

Shit was fucking up my style and I didn't need to turn all pansy on myself now. Man up. Give her the gift. I've got nothing to fuckin lose and if it makes her smile, it'll all be worth it. Worry about the consequences later.

Carpe diem.

Seize the fucking day.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: I want to send a big THANK YOU to everyone who has been reading this story, reviewing it, and adding me to your favourites and subscribing. I really appreciate it and every time I receive an email telling me someone has added my story to their alerts I get really warm and fuzzy, lol – it never fails! I would encourage you all to review so I can get some feedback on things you like and things you don't like. **

**Thank you Leon for doin what you do, and doing it damn well at that. You're awesome. **

**This chapter is JPOV and APOV and covers a lot of ground. I hope you like it. I just want to remind you that it is going to be BxE but the road is bumpy along the way. Hold on tight. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters, S Meyer does. Hooray. **

**JPOV**

I'm sitting in my Porsche, tapping my steering wheel to the sick tunes of the Kings of Leon. I stop myself, pause mid-tap, and rest my arms on the steering wheel, my head hanging down in between them. It's a bittersweet, lovesick, love-hate symphony.

You know the feeling you get when you swear to God that someone's been overhearing your ideas? Like you're chillin' in a public place like a coffee shop or some shit and you're like "wouldn't it be great if..." and then a week later you're watching late night infomercials in your boxers, eating unhealthy amounts of Count Chocula, and BAM! There's your idea, selling for $19.99--but WAIT! If you call now, you'll get this extra little thingy-ma-bopper free.... but only if you call in the next five minutes, because our heads will explode after that and the special promotion will no longer be offered. You totally get what I'm saying.

Yah – that's how I feel about the Kings. I started listening to them when they were indie and now they've gone completely mainstream, playing huge venues and you hear their songs pumping through Abercrombie & Fitch and the faggy emo dudes who work there are bopping their heads to these tunes, not giving a fuck what the song is about or what it means. Or the guy with the perma-tan and frosted tips wearing the Rocky Peak Ridge knit Henley in light heather grey overtop of the Ranney Trail striped polo – he's chilling at the register being like "yaaaaa babe, your sex is on fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiire," completely butchering the lyrics. That's when it's time to switch up the music.

Which somehow brings me to my next point: who the fuck is listening to my inner thoughts anyway? Who the hell is this internal debate directed at? Whoever _you_ are, I'm sure you dig my rants as much as the next person. It's 'bout time I write a memoir full of my most personal intimate thoughts already. Before I go insane by merit of my own devices. Jasper Monroe Whitlock: On the Brink of Insanity and Still Going Strong, published by Penguin Books. Would Penguin pick that shit up though? How about Jasper Monroe Whitlock: Lone Ranger. Fuck no. Sounds like a Chuck Norris tribute.

So, as much as I prepared myself all summer for it, the inevitable still happened. That fateful inevitable being that Bella Marie Swan (sigh) met Edward Anthony Cullen and her life as she knew it would never be the same again. It was a tragedy really. Billy Shakespeare's got nothing on my issues – his stories of treachery, revenge, incest, corruption is a walk in the park compared to my inner anguish.

The first day I met Bella Swan, she was sitting on a street downtown sipping lemonade with Esme wearing a ragged black Dark Side of the Moon tee, tiny jean cut-offs so short that the pockets were longer than the jean part, and so help me God, those beat up, worn in black and white Chuck Taylor's. I could have sworn I was in heaven. My inner monologue went something like this:

_Hel-lo gorgeous_ who is that babe sitting beside Esme Hale? She is a fine lookin' fox but not in the typical Forks fashion – not Stanley or Mallory hot but unique hot – different, cool, laid back; long slightly wavy brown hair, earthy brown eyes – I remember them being sad and I found out why later – and skin as smooth and creamy and translucent as a china doll. Completely fresh-faced, which was a rarity in this neck of the woods; usually because the sun didn't shine here. Girls compensated by wearing tons of makeup to look darker when in more cases than not they came across looking like drag queens. She had about ten bracelets on her one wrist and one was made out of pop tabs, which was pretty rad if you ask me. I hit up Esme about this "fine young lady" she was accompanying and, to my surprise, albeit eventual detriment, she asked me to show her around and be a good friend to her. I promised Esme I would be a good friend. I respected Esme and I respected Bella and that's what I swore I'd be there for.

Scout's honour.

So while Cullen was fucking his way through Europe with some of his über-rich society boys (they became acquainted through the various private summer sailing programs and "educational" pursuits Carlisle promoted to get him out of the house and the continent for the summers), I was helping Bella back to sanity and a "better" place in her life after suffering the tragedy of losing her mother. She was weak and broken and like a crushed butterfly; I mended her back to health and happiness and although it wasn't all me, she was grateful to me especially and placed the greatest trust in me. Of all the people in her life, she only trusted me to read her poetry and since I'm big into art myself I taught her other "healthy" ways of coping by taking shit out on a canvas. I think she was deep in the anger state and using art as an outlet really mended her. That, and our chill sesh's were our "thing." Nobody got between me and my Bella time. We were best friends and my previous best friend Cullen was taken down a notch in my books when he first laid eyes on her and wanted to fuck her.

Sure I was all in support of the game when it had to do with the scholarship; that was equally her being devious as it was him, but when things started to get personal I panicked and called him out on it. He was into Bella for a fuck and even though he convinced her and maybe even convinced himself otherwise, he was still the same Cullen I've known my whole life; and that Cullen is broken and fucked up when it comes to women and it will take more than a high school fling to get him out of that state.

I slid Led Zep's "Early Days" CD into my deck and lit up a smoke, inhaling the toxins and exhaling with a sigh of relief. I was in too deep.

My entire life, I thought I wanted Alice.

Mary Alice Brandon. Perky, petite, graceful, pixie-like Alice Brandon. The one with the dark spiky hair, the one with a fashion sense beyond Forks, Washington and the Western Hemisphere in general. She was so avant-garde that Anna Wintour could take advice from her on next season's trends. (BTW, the only reason I know Anna Wintour is because Alice rarely stops talking about her – this god-like figure and matriarch of Vogue's success).

Alice and I have known each other our whole lives but ever since the first day of grade nine art class, I've known I wanted her.

She just returned from spending the summer in St Tropez with her mother and Rosalie and she looked absolutely delicious; her smooth olive skin was perfectly tanned, her dark brown hair was sun-kissed and she just looked amazing. It was like she became a woman that summer or something, and I started to see her as more than just a friend.

I got the advantage of being in art class with her which meant I got to see the most personal side of her – a side that nobody else would have seen. Art was one of the most intimate and expressive practices and sitting beside her and sharing art materials made me realize just how incredible she could be.

She was always into fashion and hid her Vogue's and crap in all her textbooks but when it came to art I saw her passion shine through her beautiful brown eyes and it was as if they lit up when she held a paintbrush to the canvas.

But the closer I got to know Alice, the more I realized it was what Alice represented that I craved – the impossibility of us getting together, the forbidden fruit, the hunt, was what I was in love with. As soon as we started hooking up the art room, although it was amazing and she was talented as fuck, it seemed to fizz quickly and anticlimactically. She didn't appreciate my guitar serenades and I didn't care much for her fashion babble. The few dates we did go on she managed to drag me through a mall for a whopping eight hours and I thought I died and went to hell. As adorable and gorgeous and amazing as she was, I think it was best we respected our friendship and preserved that rather than get into a rollercoaster of a relationship that would likely end badly.

Alice was bigger than Forks and bigger than me and deserved some Italian male model who could appreciate fashion or other things about her but as far as I was concerned, we would just remain friends, with the occasional fuck if she wanted. That was totally cool with me.

My phone vibrated and I realized I'd been sitting in my garage for the past half hour with my head on my steering wheel. Had the car been on I would have died of carbon monoxide poisoning.

_Fucking stupid, Whitlock. _

I checked my message; _"__We need to talk, ASAP__"_from Alice. Oh boy. My heart quickened and my stomach turned; a combination of nerves and excitement ran through my body.

I texted back _"__I__'__ll swing by in a few."_

I needed a joint before I faced this discussion.

**APOV**

Jasper was finally arriving at my house to discuss some very vague details about where the hell we stood. I mean, seriously. A guy doesn't get the chance to get with me very often and when he does, he doesn't freakin' bail on me like he's not even into it. I would feel like he wouldn't even touch me with a ten-foot pole had we not been hooking up the last couple weeks. But even so, that all came to a halt during the past few days. My insinuations were blatantly rejected.

I critically assessed my outfit in the mirror; Prada heather grey cowl neck cashmere sweater dress, black American Apparel tights, Frye Veronica slouch boots, Tiffany's 1837 Collection thick cuff bracelet, Elsa Peretti teardrop earrings, and an eccentric orange Hermes twill silk scarf tied around my neck, the knot turned to the side. If this doesn't get Jasper going, I don't know what will.

I heard the distinct soft knock at my door and my heart skipped a beat. I hurried down the flight of stairs and opened the front door. I leaned against the door frame, posing for him and I quickly examined his attire; square toed Blundstones, black pinstripe pants, baggy grey button up haphazardly tucked in at random bits but mostly hanging out, and a worn-in dark brown leather jacket swung over his shoulder. Man, if we didn't win best dressed couple at Forks High, I don't know who would. His effortless chic complemented my casual elegance attire today and I beamed.

"Hi!" I grabbed his hand pulled him inside. "You look wonderful Jasper!" He always had the softest and warmest hands. I rubbed the hand I was holding with my thumb and smiled.

He smiled back a bit uneasily and muttered a barely audible "thanks." Man, what a downer!

"Bad day?" I inquired as I led him into my kitchen, still tightly holding his hand. "Cappuccino?" I asked, before he could answer my initial question. I didn't really want to know if he was having a bad day. That would just cloud up my entire aura. After doing an hour and a half of yoga in the studio, I didn't want his bad mood to muck up my path of enlightenment.

"Somethin' like that," he mumbled. "And yeah, that'd be great, thanks." He tossed his jacket on a chair and took a seat.

"Oh Lenora!" I called out for my Argentinean housekeeper. "Lenoraaaaa!" I repeated, my voice coarser with irritation. I hoped she would hurry the hell up and make our drinks already but she must have been ironing my clothes so I proceeded to make them myself. Some people just aren't reliable worth crap.

I flitted over to the fridge and grabbed the non-fat milk. "Non-fat?" I called out to Jasper, with my head in the fridge.

"Regular if you've got it," he replied dryly, as if he couldn't care less about the calibre of his milk. And ew, regular two percent? Was he trying to clog his arteries? I wondered if we even carried such a product in our fridge, which had now become my newly "reborn" health-obsessed mother's sanctuary. I swear to god we only had like carrots and broccoli and soy this and that and organic crap. She was trying out the Gwyneth Paltrow thing; I think it was called a macrobiotic diet? Anyway it had to do with all this yin and yang and balancing of your foods and crap. It worked well though, judging by my mom's waifish figure I saw slinking through the halls this morning. Or maybe that was daddy's new mistress. Who knows.

Where was I? Oh right – the milk.

"''kay!" I replied and grabbed his fat-filled milk and began the espresso machine. I looked over at him and he gave me a puzzled look and shook it off. _Weirdo...._

I filled two large ceramic cappuccino cups with espresso, milk and topped them with lots of foam and grabbed two saucers and brought them over to the table. I carefully assembled the cappuccino filled cups on the saucers and ran to the cupboard and grabbed two almond biscottis to place on the saucer.

"Want to go in the tearoom?" I asked. "Err... our _ex_-tearoom which is more like a sunroom now," I corrected.

I wasn't sure if Jasper liked my house or not; my parents were trying out this whole modern decorating scheme where everything was white and silver and sterile. It really made no sense because you couldn't sit down without Lenora running over with a dust rag to clean up anything that tarnished the crisp white _everything_. Silly parents.

He nodded in agreement and I led him through to our large espresso room and I took a seat beside the large rectangular window with the sun brightly shining in and he sat on the white leather loveseat beside me. My father had basically knocked the house down and rebuilt it to try this new modern thing in attempt to make everything geometric and rectangular. It was a terrible waste of money, and almost edging on tacky. Plus every time someone spoke it send an eerie echo through the house and in general everything felt vacant and cold and like a modern art gallery – you can look but don't touch.

"You're so glum," I commented, placing my hot cappuccino on a silver coaster on the glass tabletop. I wondered what he was all upset about and when he was sad like this it made his complexion appear grey and his frown lines appeared on his forehead. It was a very unbecoming look for him.

"Yeah, I've got a few things on my mind," he responded. "You know, school and shit."

"School is over though Jazz! Hel-loooo Christmas hols!" I exclaimed.

Ever since I finished my English exam, I was on cloud nine and so excited for Christmas. I believe I had a _very_ nice Christmas present coming from Daddy, and I could hardly contain my excitement over it. I didn't know what it was specifically but I knew it was arriving from Paris so that meant it had to be something good. Who was I kidding? Of _course_ it would be fucking good! I mean, I got a freakin' pony one year when I was younger, before anyone else I knew got one. And a full sized Barbie dream house, complete with working appliances like a dishwasher and juicer and bathroom – it was the size of a mini mansion for Christ's sake!

And, if for some unfathomable reason this year's present wasn't up to par, I would obviously send it back and daddy would replace it, no questions asked – no holds barred.

"Hmm. Yeah," Jasper began, rubbing at a small stain on his knee with a look of agitation and concentration, "I guess I'm just worried about next year, you know? How RISD will be and everything; and the architecture program – I'm not really used to doing one thing specifically. And being away from everyone." He sighed, his breath shaking a bit from nerves or anxiety or I don't know.

"It'll be an adventure! Besides, you'll have _me_! And we can always road trip it to Harvard to see Bell and Cullen, and to wherever Rose and Em go. It'll be grand!" How could he be bummed about spending the next few years with me in college?

I tried to gauge his reaction but he just sat there slumped in the chair, twirling his foam around with the biscotti. He looked utterly distracted.

"Jazz, what's really on your mind?" I didn't want to pry but I needed to know. Something wasn't right. It wasn't fair to keep me guessing, either.

"Let me guess. It has something to do with Edward, or Bella – or Edward and Bella. Bedward? Belward? Hmm, doesn't go as well as Zacquisha or Brangelina" I decided. "Maybe they're not meant to be after all," I joked, trying to lighten the mood. I chuckled at my own bad joke and hoped Jasper was smiling, but I had no such luck. He was just sitting there.

He took a deep breath, bracing himself for something, and then spoke.

"Alice, you're amazing," he began. And, oh shit, don't you dare break up with me before Christmas, you cheap bastard. Don't you dare drop that bomb. "And I swear to god, it's not you, it's me..." he trailed off.

"Are you fucking serious!?" Whoops, was that out loud? Seriously though. "Jazz, I wasn't even aware we were dating," I rolled my eyes, hoping he'd lighten the heck up and stop being so melodramatic.

"Alice, I think you want too much from me, and I can't give that to you right now," he said somberly, almost regretful of what he had to do.

"Aw, don't worry Jazz. As much as that sucks being rejected, I won't consider it as such. I mean I'm cool with being friends... maybe friends with benefits even? Perchance?" I asked.

He was a damn good lay and I'd be damned if he just walked off without me having the final say in something. And as if he could really resist _this_ anyway.

"Uh, that'd be awesome," he replied, a devious grin forming on his perfect mouth. "Better than awesome."

"So what are you going to do about Bella then?" I asked, letting him know I didn't miss a beat. I totally knew what he was up to and I wasn't about to have him play me for a fool.

Jasper looked intently into his cappuccino cup and then placed it down gently. He leaned back comfortably on my couch, hands behind his head, feet up on our very expensive, very sterile glass art deco coffee table.

"I'm that transparent, eh?"

"Meh, I'm good at reading people. And I mean, how much more obvious can you get? It's just a matter of how do you break her away from Cullen without breaking her heart and getting your nose broken by him in the process?"

Jasper was in deep crap up to his knees and I totally didn't envy him. My cousin wouldn't let him off without an epic battle over this chick and I was going to sit back with my feet up and watch him suffer, enjoying every bead of sweat trickle down his forehead. This would certainly spice up the Whistler trip.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who is reading and reviewing. You guys are awesome and make writing this story fun and so worth it. **

**THANK YOU LEON FOR YOUR AWESOMENESS **

**Leon: You're welcome! (I left that in on purpose Leon!)**

**Disclaimer: Don****'****t own Twilight, don****'****t claim to; all property of Stephenie Meyer**

**BPOV**

"Miss! Did you hear what I said?" a very impatient, very persistent lady with flaming orange hair wearing a very unfortunate looking tunic snapped, firmly bashing her fist down on the counter.

"Sorry, ma'am, what did you order?" I asked calmly, trying to gather my wits as best I could before I got fired... again. I had to beg Colleen, our new supervisor and head of staff and management, for my job back last time I was "let go" because my head was in the clouds. Realistically, it was because Edward Cullen kept showing up at my workplace uninvited and at random and upon recognizing him in the crowd I usually spilled coffee over some poor unsuspecting customer's shoes.

"A venti half-sweet passion tea lemonade, one tall Zen tea with a generous portion of honey, and I'll take one of those delicious little oat fudge bars," she said, painstakingly articulating each and every syllable as if I were fresh off the boat.

"Comin' right up," I answered nonchalantly. This friggin' shift was going by _so_ slow. All my classmates were prepping for tonight's party at the Cullen mansion, and I was here, serving the wealthy elite of Forks who had nothing better to do than buy overpriced coffee and tea.

Why ever on earth the corporate conglomerate Starbucks felt it necessary to knock down the quaint little church that previously stood here and stick one of their cookie-cutter coffee joints in its place, I'll never know.

I glanced at my watch; five thirty. Only half an hour until Edward would arrive.

I was so thrilled that Edward and I were taking things slowly – I think. I mean, a part of me was a little hurt that he seemed so blasé about the whole situation and kept affirming that we weren't anything official; I still wanted to believe that we were more than that. But at the same time, I was taking Jasper's "warning" (which he presented more like a threat) a little more serious than I would lead on.

I plodded over to the espresso machine and mindlessly started foaming milk when Colleen shot me a look of death.

"The lady ordered tea and lemonade – why that would require steamed milk I have NO idea..." she snapped, making me jump in my place and return to earth. _Earth to Bella..._

"Um, sorry," I muttered. "Won't happen again." Probably only twenty seven thousand times more this shift.

I went back to preparing the lunatic's beverage and, to my relief, she found another equally eccentric, equally kooky friend to talk to while I took my sweet ol' time.

I needed to focus on getting into law school. That's what I was here for; that's what the scholarship was for. The more I thought about law school, though, the more uneasy I felt about the whole thing. It usually sent a thrill through my body to envision myself as a successful lawyer -- pinstripe power-suit and all, sitting in front of a rich mahogany desk with lots of secretaries and important clients. But lately, that dream kind of fizzed, and I wasn't disheartened at all. I thought about pursuing my childhood dream of becoming a chef and opening my own restaurant, or becoming a museum curator. Exciting careers that I never thought I'd actually be able to pursue but being in Forks made me feel reborn. A new Bella Swan was emerging, and I liked it.

I placed the drinks up on the bar and called them out to the two chatty ladies.

I glanced at my watch and only five minutes had passed. Damn it all. I trudged over to the cash to serve the next demanding customer – it was ironic how Starbucks portrayed itself as such a "Zen" place but when it came down to it the customers were all just yuppie housewives and arrogant businessmen with no time on their hands and a lot of pent up anger. That, or the annoying "aspiring author" archetype who would show up with his Macbook and occupy some valuable table space for six hours while he typed out his "masterpiece." Give me a break. And those were the jackasses that never even tipped.

Just when I was ready to collapse on my face due to boredom and my self-pitying, a familiar and friendly face smiled up at me.

"Hey Bella, get me a large bold when you get a chance," Jasper said, holding out a twenty. My manager scoffed at his failure to acquiesce to Starbucks terminology.

I rolled my eyes at them because they all sounded like douche bags when they ordered.

"I get a break in twenty but I think Cullen's dropping by," I said, placing his drink down on the counter and processing his change.

"Nah, keep it; you earned it," he said, refusing to take the change I was handing him.

"Thanks." I gave him a genuine heartfelt smile and his warm and inviting blue eyes sparkled.

"I guess I'll peace if Cullen's on his way -" he muttered, grabbing a packet of sugar from the counter and pouring it into his drink.

"No, don't. Please stay," I interjected. "I want you both here."

Jasper gave me a confused look but shrugged it off and motioned to an empty table in the corner. "Mind if I, uh, sit?"

"Yeah, go ahead. I'll see you in a few."

I worked on scrubbing the coffee stains off the counter and let myself sulk again.

Back to my tormenting thoughts...

What if Edward would destroy me? What if he would break my heart and use me and then I'd be in a worse place than I was this past miserable summer? I couldn't emotionally take that pain again; and _everyone_ knew that if you're a girl with a heart and you don't want it destroyed, you stay away from one person and one person only: Edward Cullen.

Well, I couldn't stay away any longer.

I went to the back and took off my apron and made my way to the table where Jasper was seated.

Edward beat me to it. He was standing facing Jasper, his back to me, cornering him and looking very confrontational. His hands were by his hips and his posture was rigid and tense. I couldn't see Jasper's expression from behind Edward so I hurried over to him and linked my arm in Edward's.

His body instantly relaxed when he felt my hand on him and he smiled brightly, his beautiful grey eyes lighting up.

"Hi Bella," he said softly, in almost a whisper. He gently took my hands in his and squeezed them lightly.

"Have you been bullying Jasper?" I said, raising my eyebrow at him, pulling my hands away. He just looked at me blankly. "Well?" I asked, nudging him.

"No, I was just leaving," Jasper mumbled. "I'll see ya tonight Bella – at _his_ place," he said, avoiding Edward's intimidating glare as he got up and walked toward the door.

"Bye Jazz," Edward called out.

Jasper slowly turned around. "Cullen," he muttered venomously.

"I think Jasper can fight his own battles, no?" Edward said, his mood instantly perking up once Jasper was out of sight.

He turned to me, holding me out in front of him with his hands on my hips. "Wow. You look great, Bella." He stood back and admiringly looked me up head to toe with an amused grin on his face. "You're stunning."

I blushed furiously wondering what the hell brought out this side of him and it must have been the coffee bean fumes. He was only ever this... affectionate at Starbucks. At school, he still had his guard up and played his usual game: checking out girls, squeezing my ass – all that stuff. I didn't really mind, I mean I liked that side of him to an extent (minus the checking out girls bit). But when we were alone here, he was completely different. Just like our day in Seattle... before he nearly offed himself.

"Uh, thanks," I said uncomfortably, shaking my head in disbelief. "You look great too."

And he did – as always.

"Let's sit," he said pulling out a chair for me. Such a gentleman.

"So what brings about this cheery mood?" I asked, trying to sound unconcerned but I was honestly getting a little suspicious.

"Oh, nothing much. School's out I suppose. Oh, and I get to see you." He flashed me that devious crooked grin and my heart skipped a beat... or ten.

"Hmm. Also, you're having a shit show at your house tonight. The semi-annual Cullen bash, I take it?"

"Ha, that happens more than semi-annually." He shrugged off his jacket and searched around in the pocket for something.

"Do you want a coffee or something?" I asked.

He furrowed his brow trying to find whatever he was looking for; Starbucks lighting was known for being minimal and useless. I suppose it was all about setting a mood but who wants to sit in the dark when you can't see dick all?

"Um, no thank you." He frowned and stood up abruptly. "I gotta run to my car. I'll be right back."

I nodded and he leaned across the table and landed a firm kiss on my cheek and I melted, falling in love with him all over again.

His good mood was so endearing. I jogged behind the counter to make myself a chai tea latte (might as well take advantage of the free beverages, right?) and took a seat and Edward beat me to it again. He was sometimes freakishly speedy.

I walked over to the table being super cautious because my drink was full to the brim but I nearly tripped and fell on my face when I spotted a little blue box placed on the table.

_Oh that better not be what I think it is. _

"Edward..." I scolded, shaking my finger at him. "What is that ridiculous box doing at my table? You better hope to god some lady dropped it and you found it, or you better have some other reasonable explanation, or so help you God. You better be donating that to charity."

He grinned widely and deviously and this time it made his eyes dance. "Why don't you take a look and find out?"

_Oh, no he fucking didn__'__t!_

I crossed my arms angrily and stomped my foot once putting on my best temper tantrum.

He laughed and shook his head in amazement. "I knew you wouldn't respond well to getting a gift."

"Edward, I said NO Christmas presents. That should go without saying."

He held up his Blackberry and pointed at the date. "And that's exactly right because it is _not_ Christmas."

Well, it was close enough.

"Bella, it will hurt my feelings if you don't at least open it," he said, pouting those perfect lips in mock sadness.

I couldn't help but laugh at his pathetic attempt.

He licked his bottom one – a habit he had – and my knees buckled.

"Alright," I said, sitting down in my chair. "I'll just open it then. But that doesn't mean I'll keep it."

"Deal."

I looked at the box in front of me, and it may as well have been a bomb with how reluctant I felt. I sighed loudly in irritation and gently pulled off the red ribbon.

I opened the top of the box and clenched my eyes shut, bracing myself.

I opened my eyes and it wasn't all bad. In fact it was absolutely breathtaking. I let out a gasp.

"Edward, I-I can't take something like this from you, I can't accept it..." I trailed off, shaking my head in disbelief.

He held up the necklace and carefully put it around my neck, and my heart nearly pounded out of my chest when he came close to me to latch it on. He was so friggin' sexy. I took his proximity as a chance to breathe in his gorgeous scent and I looked into his eyes; he was concentrating intently on the task.

"There," he said, sitting back down. He looked rather satisfied with himself. "Beautiful."

"Edward this must have cost you a _fortune_!" I exclaimed. I shook my head. "I can't accept it."

It was ridiculous that he spent so much money on me. Even though he could afford it, I couldn't afford it.

"Well, they're not real diamonds," he said, trying to make me feel better. It didn't work.

"Not real diamonds my ass. Last time I checked, Tiffany and Company didn't sell fakes," I said, biting my lip in concentration as I tried to estimate what something like this would cost. I'd never been in a Tiffany's so I had no clue, but it was probably a thousand dollars – or more.

"Edward, it's perfect, really, but I just can't accept it," I decided.

He opened his mouth to object and I cut him off.

"I can't possibly afford something this expensive for you in return," I added quickly.

"Bella," he smiled, looking deep into my eyes and my stomach did somersaults of joy and excitement and I probably had more lust in my eyes than ever because he looked so damn sexy; but I noticed his eyes darken and he was sad about something deep down. I wondered if it was my refusal to cooperate that was getting to him.

"My present can be for you to keep this, and wear it," he said simply. "That's it."

Smug bastard.

"You drive a hard bargain, but we'll see. I'll leave it on for now. I really like it, Edward."

"So keep it. I don't see what you're so worried about, I won't take it back. It's yours now."

I leaned across the table and kissed him on the lips and he tasted amazing; a mix of mint gum and cigarettes and sweetness that was his own.

"I gotta split though. I have espressos to make and petulant customers to tend to." I directed my eyes to the long line and Colleen was looking exasperated.

"Looks like it," he chuckled. "I don't envy you. Have a good shift Bella. I'll pick you up at nine."

"Won't you have a party going on then?" I asked.

"Meh," he shrugged his shoulders, "They can wait. They've got nothing on you."

He walked me to the door to the break room and winked at me before we parted. I blushed and went back to work; Edward occupying my every thought.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Thanks to the readers & reviewers & subscribers! **

**Many thanks to Leon, my amazing Beta reader! **

**Hope you guys like this chappy, it'll leave you hanging and (hopefully) wanting more!!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight. Don't claim to, either. **

**EPOV**

Was it too much to ask that I leave Starbucks without a surprise ambush?

Apparently.

I walked out of the place, happy as a fucking clam after seeing Bella. She was a fuckin' smokeshow in her tacky apron and tight ass jeans.

I began checking my emails on my Blackberry when I see a dark, shadowy figure and an orange flicker distinct of a cigarette leaning against my Volvo.

First of all, I thought I made it fuckin' clear that _nobody_ touches the car. Fucking annoying as hell when they brush up against the exterior paint and chip and scratch it with their zippers and shit and then I have to dish out a couple K for a new paint job. Inconvenient as hell.

Secondly, as I closer approached my car, I clenched my fists because part of me fears I'm being mugged and I just gotta prepare for that shit since I didn't walk around packing heat. Damn it all, who the hell is robbing me tonight anyway? And, although it would be nice to take out some of my frustration on some motherfucker who was stupid enough to try and steal from me, I just really didn't want to get my hands dirty.

Thirdly – as I was all prepared to beat this motherfucker's ass – I realized who the hell it was and I tightened my jaw and I was just so fuckin' annoyed with people ruining my good days like this, especially Whitlock.

Butt the fuck out and mind your own goddamn fucked up business.

"You really want to test out your romantic competency on her?" he asked, flicking ash from his cigarette on the pavement.

"As opposed to...?" If he had a solution as to how I'd _never_ break her heart – intentionally or more plausibly unintentionally – I was listening.

He spit on the ground just barely missing my shoe and took a sip of his coffee. "Dunno."

I made a point of looking down and examining my foot and the bastard just sat there with a smug grin on his face.

"Well, I'll let you figure that out then," I spat back. I walked to the driver's side of the Volvo hoping he'd let up and get the hell away but obviously it wasn't going to be that easy. I threw my arms up, my gestures becoming increasingly hostile as my temper grew. "Get the fuck off my car Whitlock; you of all people know the ONE thing that bothers the crap out of me and you're purposely doing it."

He threw his head back and chuckled dryly.

"Cullen, Cullen, Cullen," he took an exaggerated sigh. "I just can't tell you how much I don't fucking care."

Well, if I wasn't having such a good fuckin' day up till now, that would have been the breaking point but I still had enough strength to walk away.

"Whatever, Whitlock. That's your call. I recommend that you not show up tonight," I warned, opening my car door. _Walk away Cullen... walk away. _

"You do realize I've got enough collateral on you to outnumber the pages in the Bible, right?" he continued, disregarding my attempt to leave peacefully.

"I mean I could just write and write and write about all the badass things Mister Cullen here has done," he taunted. "I'll break it into neat little chapters for you, starting with one:

"All the girls he's fucked and left; desperate, fuckin' innocent girls that you just used and threw out like yesterday's trash," he began, without taking a second to think about the next one.

"Two, all the times he's cheated on a girlfriend. Three, all the threesomes he's had and the means he's used to get them. Four, the time he fucking stole his best friend's girlfriend for a taste of her pussy. Five – five continents you've fucked girls in.

"Six, the time you said Bella Swan had a subpar body the first day you saw her, right after I mentioned she was my new best friend. Seven, the time you said she had nothing on Tanya and would surely be an easy fuck but that's it. Eight... eight is calling Bella easy, a hussy, slut, skank, and saying her mom likely hailed from a trailer park.

"Nine, saying she should take beauty hints from her sexy cousin and 'isn't it too bad she didn't get the looks in the family.' Ten, saying she probably didn't get the sex skills either. Eleven, betting with Newton which one of you could fuck her first. Even though that was a stupid and obvious bet, it was still low of you, man," he shouted.

"Twelve, the time you asked me if you should 'put a little something' in her drink so she'd have sex with you and you could move on. Should I go on?" his voice was trembling with anger and every word he spat out felt like a whip on my back. "SHOULD. I. FUCKING. GO. ON!?" he bellowed, his fists clenching tighter, and I wasn't used to seeing Jasper all worked up.

I took a deep agitated breath and slammed the door shut.

Shit was going down now.

"And as her friend you think that's the best thing to do, don't ya, WHITLOCK? Make yourself look good by showing her how bad I REALLY am?" I walked over to his side of the car, getting angrier with each footstep. "What the FUCK is that going to accomplish, huh?! If she's got HALF a FUCKING ounce of brain, she'll run from both of us and never lay eyes on another Forks douche AGAIN. Or maybe if we're REALLY FUCKIN LUCKY, she'll go with the fuckin' whats-his-name kid... Fuckin' lumberjack... who are those kids again? Oh right... FUCKIN' Jake Black and friends. GREAT! SHE'S FUCKIN BETTER OFF WITH THAT KID THAN EITHER OF US AND YOU KNOW IT!" I shouted, throwing my arms up violently and he flinched thinking I was gonna sock him one.

What a fucking tool. Well at least that meant I was getting to him.

Maybe physical force wouldn't be required.

I was now standing right in his face and he stepped back, trying to look like he wasn't afraid of our proximity. He'd backed me in a fight before and he knew I could hold my own. I only let him beat the shit out of me that one time because it made Bella happy, and hell I'd do it again. But this wasn't her battle. This was between us assholes who were in love with the same girl.

"She's gonna feel pretty fuckin' betrayed when she finds out her little _bestie_ just wanted to fuck her all along," I said mockingly.

"You know it wasn't fuckin' like that and so does Bella," he argued, his veins popping up in his neck out of anger. "She knows I love her as a friend first – actually I just love her in general," he smiled at the thought and that made me jealous, and jealousy was a bad nerve to pinch with me, 'specially when someone like Bella was involved. And even more especially because, deep down, I knew that between the two of us, he was a better fit for her.

I shrugged, not bothering to rebut his point. It was true, after all. I couldn't very well kick the guy's ass for having my girlfriend as a best friend.

He took a deep sigh of relief. Relief that I wasn't going to argue that he was a good fuckin' friend to Bella. We both knew he was.

"What ever happened to us, bro?" he said, and I chuckled; always the peacemaker. He needed a job at the UN or something. He could be a good diplomat. Damn it, he'd be a fuckin' ace diplomat. If I wasn't so fuckin' pissed off, I'd tell him to look into that.

"You tell me," I shot back.

He sighed and padded down his jacket for his pack of smokes. He lit one up and offered me one and I refused; we weren't being bromantical yet. We still had shit to figure out.

"Oh yeah, I forgot you're into that hard shit – cocaine and crap."

That was a low fuckin' blow. He did drugs just as often as I did and to use that against me was a hit below the belt.

"You better hope I don't shoot coke now, or your ass will be down on the pavement in three seconds flat."

"Touché," he nodded and flicked ash and I was getting really fuckin' fed up with this song and dance.

He cleared his throat. "I guess I could just tell Bella about—"

I knew what he was going to say and I cut him off. "Shut the fuck up, man. That shit's not to be brought up again and you know it. Just because we're not talking anymore doesn't mean our pledge of allegiance has been flushed down the shitter, does it? Fuck's sake man. Those words won't be fuckin' spoken."

He took a deep sigh, and thank fuckin' god he didn't pursue that particular and very unfortunate topic of discussion. Bella wouldn't fuckin' hear about that incident. _Ever._

"You're right, man. She'd fuckin' break. As my best friend, I don't want that shit bestowed on her either. So lucky for you I care more about her happiness than revealing what a dirty scumbag you really fucking are."

"You know what?!" I bellowed, getting really impatient. "This fuckin' argument's been a whole lotta talk and way fuckin' too little of this..." I don't know what the fuck overcame me but I clenched my fist so tightly it hurt and anger took over me and I punched him right in the fucking stomach, fuckin hard.

He was hunched over in pain and took the hit like a sledgehammer to the gut and writhed in agony.

Fucker deserved it for tweaking me and using Bella and his friendship with her against me. Shit like that was sacred; it shouldn't be fucked with. So, essentially, I did it for Bella, and therefore it was justified in my mind.

"You FUCKIN' asshole!" Oh shit. He ran over to me and before I could process what he was doing he had me in a headlock and was fuckin' throwing punches into my face, each and every one harder than the previous one.

I thrashed my head struggling to break free with little success and punched him in the stomach once more to try and distract him from taking another hit.

And that's when the fuckin' sirens began.

_Wait. _

Who the _fuck_ called the cops?

We both looked up and there was Bella, standing in front of us; lips pursed, arms crossed.

"I think I've heard enough from you shitheads," she sneered, shooting both of us a look of absolute repugnance.

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK.

"H-how long have you been there?" Jasper asked, skeptically walking over to her to soothe her very tense, very startled self.

He tried to hug her and I growled under my breath but had to control myself.

She rejected his hug anyway; pushed him away reluctantly, knowing she had to.

"Long enough," she spat. She glared daggers at me and I knew this fuckin' blew it for us.

"Bella, wait..." I trailed off.

"You can tell the police anything you need to say," she said, her voice shaking with anger and sadness; and she sounded so… _defeated_.

I walked over to her and she took the necklace off and threw it on the ground in front of me.

That gesture alone was more painful than all the slaps in the face in the world.

I looked into her eyes and gave her a pleading look and that's when I saw the tears trickling down her face.

I held my hand up to wipe away the tears but she clenched her fists and crossed her arms in front of her and pushed me away. I stumbled off the curb and before I knew it I was being forced into a police cruiser.

She turned away and went back to work.

I could still see the sparkling of the necklace against the pavement out of the back window of the cruiser as the cops drove us away, handcuffed, conquered, and off to be locked behind bars.

Fuck's sake.

**BPOV**

I don't know what the hell I was feeling.

Emptiness?

Sadness?

Anger?

I think I was just.... void.

Void of all feelings, good or bad. This was worse than feeling. This meant that I just didn't fucking care anymore. Or that I cared too much and I was in so much pain, emotions couldn't fathom what I felt. Either one was worse than a simple happy or sad.

I absentmindedly rubbed at a coffee stain on the counter while replaying the scene through my head: my best friend and boyfriend fighting over me like I was some cheap piece of ass.

It wasn't the fact that I heard all the various "chapters" of Edward's bad moves; I knew that part of him existed when I first moved to Forks.

It wasn't that the whole time Jasper and I hung out as friends he was developing feelings for me.

I felt so betrayed by the two of them, by the fact that they thought they could just "win me over" by putting each other down; my love was not to be determined by a process of elimination, with the deciding factor being who was the scummiest.

Tears were streaming down my face and my manager was tip toeing around me because she didn't know what the hell I witnessed, but she knew there was a fight going on which is why she called the police. From what we could hear in here it sounded like two drunken belligerent men firing insults at one another. I told her I was going outside to check it out and she pleaded that I wait until the police arrived, but I didn't; and I was glad for that.

I heard them bicker about this and that and at first I didn't take any offense. Fuck, I didn't know if I took any offense now. I didn't know what to do. I was sick of all this shit going on behind my back and I _knew_ there was more to the Jasper/Edward fight that one day he got his ass kicked and I _knew_ it was still going on from the overdose and I _knew_ it was still happening now – yet they wouldn't come out with the truth.

Even in the fight I didn't know what was "sooo bad" that it couldn't be spoken or else it would ruin their pledge of allegiance? Like what the hell – did Edward kill someone or something? I snorted at the hilarity of the thought. Ridiculous.

Maybe the name Patrick Bateman did mean something to him.

I shuddered.

Whatever the fuck it was that was haunting him it must've been fucking monumental and I deserved to know this about my boyfriend.

If it was so bad that it couldn't even be spoken, then I definitely had a right to know. It would almost certainly alter my feelings for him.

I sighed, out of defeat, despair, depression over my current situation...

"Take the rest of you shift off hun, you look rough," Colleen said, and I jumped a little bit, forgetting she was here. I was surprised though, she spoke kinder than I'd ever heard her speak.

She was busy cleaning the light fixtures with a feather duster; _you knew it was a dead shift when... _

"I can't... you'll be here alone and what if there's a busy rush?" I argued. I wanted to go but I couldn't leave her here alone, in case for some reason it did pick up – as impossible as that seemed.

"Ha! Bella. It's seven thirty," she said, carefully stepping down from the step ladder. "It's dead. Plus you're done at nine anyway, and I'm here 'til eleven. Just go already. Or else you're fired again." She smiled widely, and she was actually kind of pretty when she smiled. She had curly black hair that was always tied back in a simple bun, the curls framing her face and had a decent build; she never wore makeup or put any effort into her appearance and she usually looked really mean. I usually tried to avoid her but right now I was grateful she was here. And I'm glad I saw this side of her today.

I smiled graciously. "Thanks, Colleen. Do you want me to do anything before I leave? How about I clean the machines..."

"Get outta here, before I change my mind!" she said, shooing me out with her hand. "Go on... get!" she slapped my butt jokingly, and then smiled to herself, blissfully content with her kind gesture.

"Remind me to file a sexual harassment complaint next time I'm in," I joked.

She chuckled heartily in response to my cheeky comment and went back to humming along with the music and feather-dusting away.

I went to the break room and grabbed my coat; what the hell was I supposed to do next?

Edward was supposed to pick me up after my shift, but now that he was incarcerated, that sure as hell wasn't happening.

My backup in such a situation would have been Jasper. Again – not happening.

Third I'd call Rose but she and Emmett were on a plane somewhere between here and Cancun, likely halfway to becoming acclaimed members of the mile high club.

Alice was my last resort but I wasn't sure I could stomach her annoying little "I told you so" rant about how I should always take her advice and blah blah blah. Plus, she was more than likely busy ripping her way through her gigantic walk in closet trying to find the perfect outfit for tonight's party.

Oh, for fuck's sakes. I forgot about the party.

_Ugh. _

Wasn't happening if the host was in prison... right?

Not feeling like cabbing, I was grateful it was relatively mild and started off on foot. I needed time to clear my head and what better way to do that than in absolute solitude?

I walked down the sad excuse for a main street, occasionally looking into the vacant store windows as I passed them.

I wasn't quite sure where I stood on the whole argument thing. I mean I was a little upset at some of the things that Edward said about me before he really got to know me, but to be fair, I was trying to sabotage him; I wasn't exactly innocent either.

Jasper's feelings for me were just complicated and unexpected. I saw him as a brother – _a really fuckin' cool brother_ – who I could lean on and party with and tell everything to and he'd just always be there. There were sides of him that were at times favourable to some of Edward's traits, but when it came down to it I liked them both equally and for different reasons. Edward was an amazing, passionate, sexy as hell guy I was in love with, whereas Jasper was an amazing, compassionate, sexy as hell but not in a "I want to fuck you way" but a "you're a really hot guy" way, and he was my best friend. I would put my life in his hands and trust him one hundred percent with it.

For him to see me differently than that made me feel... violated almost. It was like he took advantage of my trust somehow. _I don__'__t know_. It was messed up and irrational and, man, I really wished I brought a warmer coat. Maybe a toque.

I shivered and was only just nearing the highway and really wished I had a cell phone at a time like this.

I kicked the gravel along the highway and hummed to myself, trying to make the walk go faster. I'd never walked all the way home and it would probably take hours.

The bright lights of an approaching car stung my eyes and I squinted trying to make out if I recognized them. Probably not. With my luck, it was probably some axe murderer/serial killer out to skin me and fasten my nipples along his belt made out of various women's skin. Yeah, I totally watch too many movies...

And with my luck the car of course slowed down, pulled over on the other side of the road, and I didn't know if I should run from the maniac or just accept the fact that he spotted me and was going to pickle my organs.

Man, I really wish I had a cell phone now, I whined to myself; partially because of the cold but mostly because I really didn't want to know what lurked in these forests off the Forks highway and I was about to find out.

Just when I was debating whether I should run off into the woods or combat the guy with my mad kung-fu fighting skills, they spoke and it was the sweetest voice I could have heard right then and there.

Instant relief.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Thank you to my readers and reviewers. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I came close to quitting this story so many times in the earlier chapters but because of your comments and encouragement I have kept going, and I am so glad for that! I love all my reviewers and because I cannot reply to everyone's comments (although I try) I just want to thank each and every one of you. Especially you Dolphin – you comment almost every chapter! Thanks!!**

**A/N: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read the note at the bottom of the script once you have finished this chapter. This is absolutely critical; but don't read it before because it will ruin the surprise. **

**Thank you to Leon for his Beta reading; thank you for editing and also pointing out some very, very important things; without you this story may have really sucked and my readers would all be hunting me down and killing me. **

**BPOV**

Just when I thought I was going to be kidnapped by a rapist, taken in to the deepest darkest part of the Forks woods and hacked up into a million itty bitty pieces, I heard the voice of my saviour.

"Jake! Thank you, thank you, _thank you_," I squealed, running toward him and jumping up on him, my legs wrapped around his waist.

He chuckled nervously and wrapped his big arms around me in a tight bear hug.

"Whoa, easy boy!" I choked from his tight grip. "Been working out much?"

More like, been taking roids much?

I stepped back and sized him up; yep, he'd definitely bulked up – I'd say a conservative guesstimate was twenty pounds packed on? Maybe thirty?

In the past month though?_ Really?_

"Haha, yeah, you caught me," he said, putting his hands up in defeat, "I've been trying to impress a little someone by working out." He flashed me a devious grin, and good god, don't start with this song and dance.

"Uhm, Jake... You do realize I am technically dating Edward Cullen, right?" I mean, was the kid _trying_ to get himself killed?

Well, come to think of it, with this new rockin' bod, he'd probably knock Edward out easily.

But next to the collaborative efforts of Edward, Jasper, Emmett and whomever else would stand up for Edward in a fight?

Yeah... not so much.

"Yeah, and don't remind me. The asshole let you walk down the US 101 alone in the middle of the night?" he retorted.

Hmm. He did have a point.

"Edward's in prison," I confirmed. HA, as if that made matters any better.

"And that just makes it so much better, doesn't it?" he said, shaking his head in disbelief. "Well, come on in, I'll give ya a ride to wherever you're going."

I flashed him an appreciative smile for not badgering me about Edward anymore and took a seat in his red VW GTI.

It was so warm inside, and the radio was softly playing some song I'd never heard of before. It was nice; might have been Iron & Wine.

Being here with Jake made me feel so safe and I got goose bumps at the thought of what could have happened to me had I not encountered him on this dark highway tonight.

"So, what the hell did Cullen do to get himself imprisoned this time?" Jake asked, his voice thick with judgement; rightfully so, too.

"Well, he and Jasper were having a fight about me," I said casually, hoping this discussion wouldn't go on too long.

"Whitlock? Really?" he asked curiously. "I didn't take him for much of a fighter. I assume Cullen won?"

"Not exactly. It was more of a verbal fight; they just spewed insults at each other and talked about which one of them was _worse_ and therefore shouldn't have me. Ugh," I muttered at the recollection. "But once it turned physical, it was pretty even, and then the cops showed up."

"Really, eh?" he asked, leaning forward in eager anticipation of where this was going. "Where did this shit go down?"

"Well, I was working my shift at Starbucks. They both came in to visit me, and I guess Jasper must have been waiting to jump Edward once he left and then I heard yelling and my boss called the cops, and then they were taken away in a cruiser."

"Huh. Funny; I just got a text awhile back from Embry, who was invited to Cullen's party, saying that it was gonna be pushed til about half past nine. Are you still going?"

Um, was I still going? What the hell? How could the party still happen if Edward was in jail?

"You look confused. Let me tell you, don't worry about Edward," he offered, almost reassuringly. "The guy's been arrested more times than I can count and he usually makes bail within the first five minutes. He usually doesn't even make it to a holding cell before he hits speed-dial and gets his lawyer on the phone and to the prison before the warden can do so much as take his cuffs off."

That would make sense, I supposed. A wealthy society boy needs an on-call lawyer, accessible at all times.

"So, I don't know about the party, what are you doing?" I asked, hoping he could be a minor distraction from Edward and Jasper; I didn't know anyone else who was unlikely to go the party and I knew Jake – who was enamoured with me – would jump at the opportunity to hang out with me.

"Actually, Bella, you asked about my working out and assumed I was doing it for you, right?" he asked, adjusting the heat dial in the car.

"Well, yeah?" Wasn't it obvious?

I shrugged out of my coat and Jake chuckled to himself at my reaction.

"Well Bella, you _are_ a stunner and you know that. But, there's this other chick I've been hanging out with –you know, once you ditched me for Cullen and co. She's really cool."

Seriously?

I couldn't help but feel a little jealous about all this. I mean Jake was always my go-to guy behind Jasper, then behind Edward, so who the hell would be third in line to entertain my every whim now?

I was just realizing how much I liked having him crush on me. Well, this _sucked_.

"Does said mystery woman have a name?" I said, arching my eyebrow at him. "And good for you, man. I'm happy for ya." Not really.

And Jake was a good looking guy – don't get me wrong. He was literally perfect. He had dark hair that was always perfectly styled (usually not my thing but it worked well for him), dark friendly eyes that always looked inviting and compassionate, russet skin; in general, he was a pretty boy who looked like he had always just gotten right off the beach from surfing or something. He was one of the only tanned individuals in Forks, and now that he was so buff, he had the whole package deal. Plus he was like, 6'4" so nobody messed with him.

Was I crushing on _Jake_?

No – that's ridiculous. _Bad Bella._ I mentally slapped my face. _Bad!_

"Yeah, her name's Renesmee. She's really pretty. Actually, I was on my way to pick her up and take her to Cullen's shitshow of the century. Assuming that's still happening, do you mind if I still pick her up? Her place is on the way...?" he trailed off, and I didn't have to look at him to notice he was grinning like an idiot.

And that made me happy for him. He deserved to be happy. Even if it was with this chick who had a random ass name. It sounded so unnatural, yet it sounded so familiar... weird.

"Well, since you're smiling like a flippin' kid on Christmas day, I can't _not_ see this girl that seems to make you so friggin' happy," I teased, lightly punching his arm. "Look at you!"

He was smiling like I'd never seen him smile before.

"So, I guess that answers my question of is she hot?" I asked rhetorically.

He laughed heartily. "You have no idea. Actually, I'm kind of afraid to take her to Cullen's because he might not be able to take his dirty hands off her."

Even though Jake was trying to be funny, it still gave me a weird sensation in my gut. Like jealousy? Or nervousness? Apprehension that he might actually ditch me if I keep fighting with him? What the hell kinda comment was that anyway, Jake? Ugh.

Wait – Edward should be trying to win ME back! He's the one who got arrested tonight! He's the one who was being a douchebag. _Sheesh._ The last thing he needed was a false sense of entitlement to boost his ego. He still had to win me back... right?

"I. was. joking." he replied, sounding a little concerned himself because of my silence. "Jeez, you're a little insecure about your boyfriend, aren't you?"

"I dunno, Jake. I wouldn't put it past him."

Jake just rolled his eyes and shook his head in disapproval. And rightfully so. Again.

We pulled into the same subdivision Jasper lived in and pulled into a cobblestone driveway in front of a nice red brick Victorian manor, and it looked really friggin' expensive, if not a little rundown.

It was an elegant, beautiful building with detailed designs; I recognized some of the elements from an art class I took, such as the projecting eaves supported by elaborately decorated classical-era corbels (straight outta the text book). It had many Venetian windows revealing a glint from within caused by flickering candles. Inside looked vacant and from the drapes you could tell the decorating was from a different era; but this only complemented the overall style of the house. Running along the second story was a balustrade balcony with a meticulously manicured garden on top accompanied by wrought iron garden furniture. The house had sharply pointed roofs and overall looked very authentic and one-of-a-kind, with an intricate multifaceted structure resembling that of a precious jewel.

"Another millionaire in Forks?" I sneered.

This girl so wasn't going to be Jake's type. Sooo haughty.

Plus it was in Jasper's neighbourhood, which I knew housed most of Fork's wealthy elite.

Jake turned off the ignition and sighed; a hint of frustration releasing.

"Actually, her parents just died and these folks adopted her here in Forks," he said sharply. "Her long lost aunt and her sister actually, and they live together for some reason. She hadn't even met them until recently. I'm sure you can relate to how she must be feeling," he said, warning me with his voice for me not to be so snappy. And I shouldn't be.

"How come she hasn't met Jazz if they live in the same subdivision?" I asked curiously.

"Lucky for her, she only just moved in a week and a bit ago and hasn't even enrolled in school yet. Which means she hasn't been acquainted with the likes of your friends," he said accusatorily. "But that sure as hell didn't stop Alice Brandon; she noticed another good looking girl moving into town and just _had_ to take her under her wing and try and befriend her so she could promote her own popularity." His voice was thick with resentment; again... didn't blame him.

And that so sounded like Alice; become friends with any threats so that you can remain Queen Bee by having associate Queen Bees in your posse. Especially a rich one.

"So how did you guys meet then?"

"She knew Quil from a nature camp they used to go to as kids, and I was introduced to her through him and we just kinda hit it off. Well, we've hung out a couple times and this is the first time she's meeting Forks students, so _be nice._ She's really nervous and she's got every reason to be."

At first, I assumed this chick wouldn't be good enough for Jake but the way he spoke of her so endearingly and affectionately made me feel like she was a perfect match. She needed protecting, and he was her protector. It was sweet, really.

Jake hopped out of the car and went to the front door and I assumed I was booted to the backseat – which wasn't much of a backseat at all. It was fuckin cramped.

He returned with a girl that would make anyone else at Forks envious. She was absolutely breathtaking, and I felt sharp pangs of jealousy in the pit of my gut.

She had long brown hair that framed her soft porcelain skin in romantic curls and it was thick and shiny, and just really frickin' perfect. She had expressive round hazel eyes with a doe-eyed expression; she looked so vulnerable and unsure of herself and timid. Her lips were a perfect pink and were round and naturally glossed and full, but not too much so, and she strangely resembled me but was way prettier, way more expressive and impressive and just... _better_.

My features were bland and I was pasty white with lackluster lips and my nose was a little too turned up at the tip and I just felt that I looked so _ordinary_ next to this strange resemblance of me. It was like this Renesmee chick was a prettier version of me. We had the same hair color; 'cept hers was shinier and fuller bodied and had subtle natural highlights running through it. We had the same skin tone, except hers was luminescent and had a glow – she had this dewy complexion that even supermodels could only attain with a team of professional makeup artists.

And her natural subtle blush didn't hurt, either. Her eyebrows were the same as mine except hers had a way better arch, and she expertly pulled of the low-maintenance brow whereas mine looked out of control and bushy. She was an inch or two taller than me, had a better body than me; perfectly toned but still soft; it was like she worked out but not intensely – everything was trim and looked sensuous without being juicy. Could her body just be naturally gorgeous? It seemed likely.

No wonder Jacob was in love. Plus, she pulled off "our" style better than me. She was wearing a sage green top, which is a color I wore all the time, except hers fit her perfectly perky boobs and soft tummy and _argh_! Even her jeans looked better on her; and she wore fuckin' _Birkenstocks._ She was clearly a more beautiful version of me; she still had the same natural look as me 'cept she pulled it off with elegance and grace. Not to mention, she could actually pull off the _Free People_ peasant top (that I also owned) without looking like an actual peasant. The ruffles draped around her delicate shoulders and those collarbones were to die for.

She walked to the car and her grace would make the New York City Ballet look like a herd of elephants.

For some reason though, the familiarity of her features was driving me crazy. I mean, the others probably wouldn't think we looked alike, because her beauty blew me out of the water. Hell, she blew Rose out of the water, even though their looks were two complete polar opposites. She looked like Natalie fuckin' Portman. I bet she could pull off the _V for Vendetta_ bald head, too. And even though she had one tiny mole in the centre of her right cheek, it only enhanced her beauty. It was frickin' beauty mark. If I had a mole, it would obviously be a flaw, not an accent.

"Hi," she said in the most perfect voice I could imagine. It sounded like church bells on Sunday. Or maybe a wind chime. Whatever it was, it was pleasant. Grr, this wasn't even fair! "I'm Renesmee. You must be Bella? Jacob's told me all about you," she smiled genuinely and I was done for.

If my looks appealed to Edward and Jasper and Jake now, then this girl would just be their frickin' dream come true. She was a fairytale version of me, except alive and perfect and needing to be saved by her knight in shining armour.

"Nice to meet you," I muttered and Jake shot me a look of death.

"So… I hear your boyfriend, Edward Cullen, throws quite the party," she said, and the way she said his name made my stomach lurch.

"Um, yes. My boyfriend," I confirmed. Was he my boyfriend? I made it pretty damn clear to him tonight I didn't really want him, or at least that's probably what he thought. And now I was showing up to his party with Cinderella and I looked like a frickin' Quasimodo or some ugly fairytale creature compared to her.

"I'm so very thrilled to meet everyone in Forks," she said earnestly. Her voice was so soft and perfect, and she had some sort of accent. I guess it was just very gentle and she perfectly enunciated every word, whereas I sounded like I was mumbling all the time. She sounded like an angel would, I imagined. Maybe she was a frickin' angel.

"Well they're all gonna love you," I said rather dryly. Forks' "finest" probably couldn't wait to get their grimy paws all over this one. And Edward Cullen always got first dibs.

Watch out, Jake.

--

**IMPORTANT: Nessie, in this story, is not to be confused with the Nessie of Twilight. She is only used because of the similarities she shares physically with Bella as a plot catalyst. This means, that should Edward begin to feel attracted to Nessie, there is NO play on incest. She is NOT his daughter, most obviously. She is a brand new character in this setting. **

**For an image of my "Nessie" character, please visit my FF profile for the link. **


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: So yes, remember Renesmee is *NOT* related to Edward in any way... for the love of god keep that in mind. Thanks a million to my readers & reviewers and as always, a million and one thanks to my very patient, very intelligent, very organized Beta reader, Leon. **

**Disclaimer: Don****'****t own it.**

**EPOV**

My stint in prison lasted about five minutes until J Jenks, my lawyer, pulled up in his red Porsche boxster – hot blonde in tow – decked out head to toe in his Dolce & Gabbana tuxedo.

Turns out he was on his way to some bullshit charity gala but still made time for his favourite client.

"Mr. Cullen, have we been playing with fire tonight?" he chuckled as he waltzed into the prison holding cell where I stood.

I refused to touch _anything_ because it was so fuckin' dirty in here and it just reeked something nasty. It smelled like decomposing _something_ was wafting through the vents; that, mixed with urine and feces.

The two of us stuck out like a sore thumb, and his date – hot blonde – almost made her way into the cell but the prison guard took her by the elbow and told her she wasn't allowed inside.

She frowned, looking almost disappointed that she was going to miss out on the 'prison experience;' jeez Jenks, where'd you find this one?

"It's not your scene anyway, sweetheart," I called out to her as she sashayed past the cells in her cleavage-baring blue satin dress, diamonds by the yard grazing her neck, wrists and dangling from her ears, and a five carat emerald cut rock on her bony ring finger.

Hooting, hollering and rattling cages from the horny prisoners disrupted my concentration and my attorney cleared his throat.

"Here, let's get you out of here. I'm gonna go straighten matters out with the warden. In the meantime, will you, uh," he shifted his eyes nervously, "keep an eye on my date… if you get my drift."

"I'd love to keep an eye on your date," I said, in the literal meaning as well as colloquial usage of it.

I ran to catch up to the hot blonde and held out my arm like a gentleman and linked it to hers. If I were her, I'd be skeptical to take it since it was tainted by the incubus of diseases from this cesspool but I gathered she had a preference for my age – we were much closer in age than her and balding Jenks.

"You look absolutely stunning, help me with a name here," I asked, feeling like a douche for not knowing wife number seven's name.

"Julia," she replied, flashing me a million dollar smile. Her teeth were perfect; Jenks must've paid a pretty penny for that perfectly veneered smile.

"Right. Julia. I'm sorry to interrupt your plans for _ce soir,_ but I got in a bit of trouble, if you get my drift..."

I could still the cages clanging, and whistles and various obscenities echoing through the prison when we reached the front desk.

"Not a problem," she replied, and I got the drift she wasn't exactly a chatty one. I would have had a more enticing conversation with a lamp.

"Right, well, Julia, how 'bout we take a seat in the car and wait till Jenks returns?" I suggested.

"Not so fast, Cullen," the warden spat. "You're my property till your attorney proves you're innocent." He stood in front of me like a brick wall, red-faced, beer belly stretching out the fabric of his very retro tweed suit.

"Ah, Mr. Warden. You will have to understand but the stench of this place is causing a most unsavoury reaction to my gut and I'd hate to yack – for lack of a better word – all over your wonderful institute here, sir," I attested cockily.

He rolled his eyes and, not wanting to appear like a jackass in front of hot blonde, let me wait outside.

"I'm sure Julia here appreciates your cooperation," I said and she smiled brightly at the warden and he turned twelve shades of red.

"Have a lovely evening, miss," he called out the door to her as she left.

I opened the door for Julia, aka "Lamp," and jogged over to the driver's seat and sat down on the cool leather seats.

"Sorry if my smell is offensive," I said, wondering if I reeked as bad as that place. I tugged on my shirt, fanning away any of the reek and lice I probably picked up being in that place for a whole five minutes. I shuddered at the thought, settling on taking my shirt off altogether and tossing it.

"No," she replied and just smiled and I began to wonder if that's all her botoxed face was able to do.

Festively plump Jenks returned – in all his balding glory, looking triumphant and quite pleased with himself.

"Jenks! Am I happy?" I asked, getting out of his seat.

He eyed me suspiciously for a brief second as to why I was chillin in his Porsche with his wife with my shirt off and I resented that implication; as if I would even touch anything Jenks had. Skeezy.

"You are most certainly happy, Mr. Cullen. You're free to go. Your friend, on the other hand, isn't so lucky. His attorney has yet to answer his phone call. Granted, you are willing to assume the fees for both your services rendered, I'd be more than happy to try his case as well," he offered, and I knew he was trying to make an extra buck or boast his legal expertise to his new wifey. Always wheeling and dealing Jenks was.

"Yeah, what the hell; get Jasper outta here too, and then you can peace," I waved my hand dismissively. Do whatever the hell you have to so we can all get out of this place untouched; vital organs still intact.

And what the hell, I was feeling generous. Plus, Jazz was too pretty to last more than ten minutes in that prison without having his asshole stretched out by his fellow occupants.

I didn't attempt to converse with Janet or whatever he name was, but instead flipped through the radio stations trying to find something decent. Coldplay would suffice for now.

Luckily it didn't take long before Jenks and Jazz returned; Jenks gloating and Jazz smiling like he'd just won the fucking lottery of life.

"Do you fellows need a ride somewhere?" Jenks offered, seemingly gracious after his successful manipulation of our fine legal system, and the hefty pay cheque that would follow.

I checked my watch and it was eight thirty. My place was sure to be packed with half of Forks shortly and it was bad form to not appear on time for your own party. I thought of how many times I'd done that, or actually missed my own party because I was having some sweet piece of ass in my bedroom.

Life was good.

_Was_ good.

"Yeah, you can take me to my place if you haven't got anything else to do; I have a party about to start, and I need to get this stench offa me." Plus, I'd throw an extra thou his way for being so accommodating and he knew that. He prol'ly needed it for wifey's new boob job anyway.

"Not a problem," he obliged and we sped off in his midlife-crisis-mobile, us stinking up the back with our prison stench. This was so not a way to spend the first night of my holiday.

After being dropped off by Jenks (and slipping a hefty tip in his hand during my departing handshake), I couldn't wait to take a shower and I told Jazz I was kosher with him chillin here till the party actually started.

He just shrugged his shoulders, pretending that I didn't just save his stupid ass, and for some reason I was cool with it. Before we got all bromantical again, we needed to both see where we stood with Bella and tonight sure as hell wasn't the night for bromance-involving drama.

I was honestly pretty upset with how Bella and my relationship was going; I mean, we only just started dating and we'd been in more fights than I cared to ever go through in my entire life, let alone a very short, very tense relationship.

She was hot and sexy and incredible and ten thousand other amazing things but I began to think that maybe the persistent warnings from my gut, and Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rose even, needed to be heard out.

Just a thought.

I didn't know how Bella felt and I was hoping she'd calmed down a bit by the party and we could have a serious discussion about where we stood and maybe it was best we stayed friends. I really wanted her in my life, and I knew that was proving to be nearly impossible by being boyfriend/girlfriend.

Let's just face it: I wasn't boyfriend material. Lotsa guys had that problem.

Nothing to be ashamed of.

I grabbed a cold shower – relieving some tension, if you get my drift, and then put on whatever clothes were handy; a blue Lacoste polo and Boss jeans and mussed my hair a bit – dammit, it was getting so long again, almost shaggy; I was totally rockin' the sex hair though. Probably made chicks drool to see my post-coital 'do all the time.

But tonight wasn't about my looks or any of that other shit. It was about figuring out some sturdy ground with whatever Bella and I were committing to.

I just really wanted her to be happy, and that fuckin' terrified me, especially when being happy meant she had to be with someone else. I knew that, and soon enough, she'd know that too.

**BPOV**

Me, Jake, and Miss Doe-Eyed-Damsel-in-Distress showed up at the already packed party at half past nine. Kings of Leon tunes were pulsing through the house.

Cars were haphazardly scattered all over the driveway and front lawn, and Jake opted for a spot near the front right next to Edward's Volvo.

We didn't bother knocking, obviously, so we just walked in and thankfully nobody noticed our entrance.

At first.

After about five minutes, every set of eyes was zoned in on Ms. Perfect and I began to think maybe I should just fly my white flag and call an alliance with her. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right?

Her perfect skin glowed under the chandelier lighting of the party, and people were approaching her to introduce themselves and guys were already trying to get dibs on her. How the hell did she maintain such a flawless perfection?

I saw Edward making his way down the staircase, looking hot as hell in a pale blue polo and jeans and his hair was just incredible – perfectly tousled and gorgeous. He was his usual cocky self, looking like he owned the place, which I suppose he did – literally and metaphorically.

His eyes instantly darted to mine and he gave me a small smile that made my heart melt but then they narrowed in on Jake, and oh for the love of god, don't let this be another fist fight in the making.

"Black! Who the hell invited you?!" he snapped at Jake.

Jake didn't look the least bit alarmed nor concerned by his reaction and just shrugged his shoulders indifferently, wrapping his arm around Renesmee's shoulder. This gesture drew Edward's attention right to her and, _oh great._

"You brought a date?" he raised his eyebrow, then eyed Renesmee up and down, and now _this_ was making me sick.

"I invited him," I lied. "And it's not exactly an exclusive party," I shot back, motioning to the tons of people that were around, watching this spectacle with incessant anticipation for the next big Forks drama.

He approached Renesmee and took her hand. "I'm Edward Cullen," he said softly, and I knew the look in his eyes – it was a mixture of lust and want and just pure adulterated desire.

I couldn't take this.

"Hi, Edward. I'm sorry for showing up uninvited," Renesmee blushed and Edward chuckled.

"Hah, I was just kidding," he said, jokingly punching Jake in the stomach and Jake's jaw clenched and he was all tense; ready for attack.

"Jake knows he's always invited at my place, right Jake?" Edward said sarcastically. I knew he hated Jake, Jake knew he hated him, but Renesmee thought he was being endearing; she giggled a little bit and looked longingly into Jake's eyes. That would drive Edward wild. Who the hell did she want, anyway? She better make up her effin mind.

Assuming Edward would be able to amuse himself for the rest of the night, I took it upon myself to find Jasper or Alice or _someone_ else. Hell, I'd even take Newton over Dickward right now.

I scanned the room, diverting my attention from this offending display of flirtation Edward called "introducing himself" and my eyes met with Jasper who was busy talking to Alice.

Their conversation didn't look too intense; she was holding a glass of white wine in her hand and he was sipping a Heineken, leaning on the side of the doorframe and they looked mellow enough so I approached them.

"Hey guys," I said, breaking up their conversation. I think they were talking about me, because they both gave each other an awkward 'knowing' look before looking at me. "What's up?"

Jasper took a long, greedy swig of beer. "Nothin' much. You and Jake came together," he commented.

"Yeah, I thought it'd be a clever idea to walk home from work and luckily _he_ met me along the way and not some serial killer," I joked.

Jasper's fists clenched together and he all of a sudden looked tense.

"Uh, it was supposed to be a joke," I said uneasily. I was sick of everyone fighting over me; it was so unnecessary.

"Cullen let you walk home?" he asked, and even though he tried to sound calm, I noticed a fierce look of anger in his eyes.

"What a skeeze," Alice added, examining her empty wine glass. "I'm gonna get another drink – Bella you want -?"

"Yeah, get me a gin and tonic," I replied, and paid her a grateful look for giving me and Jazz some privacy.

She nodded her head and left for the kitchen.

"Bella, I'm really so, so, _so_ sorry," Jasper said, holding his arms out to me in an open embrace. I accepted his hug and just let him hold me so tightly for awhile. It felt good to be held by him, having his arms squeezing me tightly but not too much so in Jake fashion, but just the right amount of grip.

"I know Jasper. It's not your fault you fell in love with me," I grinned devilishly, letting him know it wasn't a big deal. "Who can help it really?" I joked.

"Yeah, that's for sure," he replied, admitting defeat with his crooked grin and I loved it when he grinned like that. It almost made my heart skip a beat, but it didn't because he was just a friend and I don't think no matter how hard I tried, I'd ever see him as more than that.

That's not to say he didn't look incredible. He was dressed very plainly, just wearing jeans and his favourite black Stones t-shirt which was 'dressing down' for Jasper, but he rocked it.

"Hey, I'm here for you in whatever way you need me, and if that's as a friend till you realize that Cullen's a douche, then that's what I'm here for," he said conclusively. I hope he believed what he was saying.

"So you guys made a prison break?" I joked, not so seamlessly changing the subject.

"Ah, yeah, something like that. Cullen's attorney got our ass's outta there pretty fast. I can't believe Cullen stood you up," he said, no doubt planning some fierce retribution in his head. "That shit's not cool. I wish I was there for you."

Oh god, Jasper, don't get all mushy on me. "Don't worry about it buddy. I'm fine, thanks to Jake. No biggie. And as for me and Cullen, well," I said, diverting my eyes to his intimate looking discussion with the new girl, "he seems preoccupied tonight anyway."

Jasper gave me an apologetic look which was almost worse than saying 'I told you so' because this look was more like 'I'm sorry, but now I really don't want to say I told you so because you just look so pathetic even though I told you so,' and it just made me feel bad.

He must have noticed my instantly saddened expression because he stiffened instantly. "I can kick his ass for you; I'm sure Jake wouldn't mind joining, you know, since he is macking on his date and all," he said, searching my eyes with a glint of hope.

As nice as it sounded, I didn't want any more fights tonight. I was done with all this drama. I needed to focus on school. What I had originally moved to Forks for, right? The scholarship?

"Thanks anyway, Jazz," I replied gratefully. "Let's go introduce you though." I took his hand and lead him through the masses of people searching for them but I couldn't seem to find them. Had he already made it to the bedroom with her?

Thankfully, I spotted the top of Jake's black mop of hair in all this chaos; they were hanging out in some random living room with an excess of a French toile theme (sofas, wallpaper, sitting chairs with toile cushions), a large marble fireplace and lots of oil paintings on the walls.

Jake and Edward were laughing at something Renesmee had said and I just rolled my eyes at Jasper. He squeezed my waist gently from behind me and smiled at me, reassuring me that he'd always be there for me first.

I nodded my head in acknowledgement and walked over to Renesmee "Miss Pretty Perfect Bitch." Except she wasn't a bitch. She was so nice – but not sickly nice or artificially so, and it was hard to hate someone so nice and genuine. Gah.

Jake beamed upon seeing me, likely hoping I would control my boyfriend; little did he know that was impossible.

"Jasper, Renesmee; Renesmee, Jasper," I said flatly, glaring at Edward who just looked so amused by the whole thing.

"Pleasure to meet you," Jasper said curtly, his lips pursed. He knew where his loyalty stood tonight.

Jake suddenly looked apprehensive and wondered if we were going to give Renesmee a hard time.

"Renesmee's parents died and she's living here now," I said, and it came out a lot harsher than I intended it to be.

"Uh, yeah..." Jake said, giving me a 'what the hell are you doing' look.

I felt guilty, so I decided to ease up.

"So, how do you like Forks? Hmm?" I asked impatiently.

I heard Edward chuckle amusedly and I saw him in my periphery, lounging on the sofa with his hands behind his head, looking rather entertained. When he noticed my gaze upon his, he raised his eyebrow as if to say, 'proceed,' and I didn't care to be a part of the twisted fantasy he was probably playing out in his head. Girl fights, threesome, or some other shit I'd gladly kick his ass for thinking.

"Well," Renesmee began a little uneasy, "I haven't really seen much of it. Edward and Jake have been so earnest in offering to show me around town so I might have to take them up on it." She smiled genuinely at me and kind of cocked her head being like 'why are you mean to me,' and I felt like the hunter that shot Bambi's mother.

"Well, there's not much to see," I joked, smiling back at her as sincerely as I could muster.

"I live with my two spinster aunts," she said. She pronouncd "aunts" with an "auh," like a Brit, and I wondered if that was where she was originally from. Although it was really subtle, her accent totally fit every other perfect thing about her. "So anything beyond the vicinity of their place should be exciting enough for me."

Jasper noticed this too apparently and asked, his Southern twang faintly coming through, "Can I ask where you're from?"

She smiled, a little bit relieved at his eagerness to learn more about her; it was like she knew then that he wasn't just being courteous and wait a minute, was he under her spell too?! Gah!

The unfair bit was, it totally wasn't a spell. This was her.

"Well I'm originally from England, which is probably still modestly apparent in my accent as I'm sure you've noticed," she began, sitting back down on the couch between Edward and Jake. Jazz and I followed suit sitting on the couch that was directly facing it, with a coffee table in between us. "But since then, I've moved around a lot. My father was sort of in the CIA business, which I didn't even know until he passed away. I always thought it was odd that we moved so frequently," she said, a yearning look apparent as she recollected the memory of her childhood. "Since then I've lived in India, Israel, Canada, England again, and then Boston for awhile. I went to a nature camp in Port Angeles a few times when I was younger where I met Quil, but he was the only person I knew when I moved here. And even so, I hadn't seen him in ages, since I was only eight or so."

She spoke so eloquently without sounding haughty or pretentious, and her slight accent made everything she said seem more profound. The three guys were hanging on her every word, and oh boy, _here we go again._

At least I was out of the spotlight, which was a slight relief. _I think_.

"Do you want something to drink?" Edward offered Renesmee when he saw Alice approaching with a glass of wine and my gin and tonic.

"I'd actually like something; what've you got?"

"Anything you like," Alice said, handing me my drink without even acknowledging me, entirely focused on Renesmee. Jeez, what was I? Chopped liver?

"Thanks," I muttered; not like she'd care if she heard it.

"How about what you're drinking," she pointed to Alice's wine.

"This?" Alice held up her glass. "Why don't you take this one; I'll grab myself another glass." She smiled sincerely and handed it to Renesmee and shot me a look, jerking her head toward the kitchen.

"I'll help you Alice," I said, picking up on her hint.

We made our way through the jungle of people and she ambushed me as soon as we reached the kitchen.

"`kay, what the heck do you think about the new girl?" she blurted out, as if she'd been holding that in all day.

What did I think of her? I didn't even know what to think.

"I have no idea. She's nice, but like, fuck, why is she so perfect!" I said, and I knew I had to tell Alice everything.

"God, I know. We have a hard enough time getting Forks guys around here without new meat showing up every few months," she said accusatorily.

"Al!" I protested.

She giggled and poured herself a generous glass of wine, took a sip, and poured some more. "You know what I mean Bell, and you know I love you," she smiled earnestly. "Rose is gonna have a shit fit when she sees this one though. Perfect and smart and just so friggin', I dunno! Just argh!"

"My thoughts exactly," I said knowingly. "Lucky she isn't Emmett's type, is she?" I was seriously concerned about the girlfriends in Forks high right now.

"Nah, Em likes them just like Rose. If he even has a type. He's usually with the overly confident bitchy babes like Rose. Lip gloss and stilettos; tanned, blonde, big rack, you know – Rose. I don't ever imagine him being with anyone else since she is all his favourite traits wrapped up into one fine package deal," she affirmed and took another large gulp of wine.

"You okay? You seem pretty darn eager to get wasted, eh?" I asked, actually really wondering why she was drinking wine like she was parched.

"Why not, right? I think I'm accepting defeat. If you can't beat them, why not join them, right? Now I will need a drink to swallow that thought," she said raising her glass for a toast.

"Cheers to that," I replied dryly.

Cheers to that indeed.

We made our way back to the living room which had become the official party room for the Forks elite, which somehow Jake had made his way into. The large French doors were blocking out the rest of the party and I felt like I was imposing upon entering the room.

"Bella!" Edward exclaimed when he noticed me clicking the door shut behind me; he couldn't have sounded phonier. "So Bella, we were just telling Renesmee here about the Roosevelt Scholarship and how she would be another prospective winner," he began, that smug grin forming on his face and he looked hot as hell but I knew this was going somewhere I didn't want it to. "We were talking about some of the..." he paused intentionally, searching for a word "...the _creative_ methods of distraction you exercised on the poor students of Forks high."

Alice and I exchanged vexed looks with each other and rolled our eyes.

"Elaborate wardrobe manipulations," Jasper began, not even bothering with mine or Alice's presence; "Wardrobe malfunctions come to that; _creative_ is a good word, Cullen," he concluded. "I'll give her that. And what else?" he directed to Edward.

"Nothing much else, Jasper, since I started to date my rival; now what good could ever come of that?" I interjected; my voice thick with resentment.

"You hear that, Renesmee," Edward said, looking right in my eyes as he spoke. He clapped his hands together and he was totally faking the lustful husky voice he put on because only I knew the real one and I wondered what his deal was. Was this his idea of getting back at me for being mad at him? What a fucking joke this relationship had become.

"Dating your rival might actually take your mind off the scholarship, therefore allowing me to slip right into place," he concluded, his words coming out full of insinuations, and his eyes hadn't left mine yet.

Luckily, Jake was too buzzed off the beers he was chugging back to realize that Edward was making a point of hitting on Renesmee as part of some sort of sick plot to get me jealous. The daft girl was completely oblivious, too.

"Renesmee, what have you got planned for the holidays?" Jasper began, and good god, don't you dare invite her to Whistler.

Edward's eyes lit up and I could tell he was going to be all over this.

"Well, I suppose staying with your spinster aunts wouldn't be much fun, would it?" Edward continued where Jasper left off.

"Oh, what the hell, come to my Whistler chalet," Alice said, throwing her arms up in defeat. "It's frickin' big enough for all of you anyway," she slurred, and I assumed this was the wine talking.

Renesmee graciously accepted the offer... oh _fuck_ this should be fun.

Jake wasn't coherent enough to notice what was going on and I began thinking that someone drugged him. It didn't seem like him to get shitfaced on his first "outing" with his new object of desire. I honestly wouldn't put it past Edward.

Alice didn't bother extending the invitation out to him and I didn't know what to think. I was hoping he'd get close enough to Renesmee over the next few days and she wouldn't want to leave him for a week at Whistler.

Everyone was starting to get tipsy and I didn't care to partake in these games anymore and got up to leave the room. My head was feeling fuzzy – the booze starting to kick in – and instead of feeling a happy buzz I was agitated.

Before I left, I waved Edward over and he reluctantly came, dragging his feet dramatically.

"Edward, we need to talk," I said firmly. I was sick of all these bullshit games.

Supermassive Black Hole was pumping loudly through the speakers as I stumbled through the mansion, clutching onto random people for support so I didn't fall on my face. Edward was following me closely, standing right behind me and steadied me by putting his hands around my waist, a gesture that seemed a bit invasive at the moment. I jerked loose of his grip; he dropped his hands defenselessly. As soon as I was free from him, the room started spinning quickly and I shifted my head to try and focus my vision but it only made me more unsteady. I couldn't see where I was walking anymore – all I could perceive was one big blur, and the trance-like music was only adding to this surreal sensation.

"_Glaciers melting in the dead of night, and the superstars sucked into the supermassive...__"_

I grabbed onto what I thought was a wall to steady myself, but instead tripped and began dropping like a tree in the forest, but luckily someone with good reflexes managed to catch me and I fell backward into their strong arms.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Thank you readers and reviewers! I've been overwhelmed (in a good way) with the response I'm receiving for this story. I love it! You guys are awesome. In terms of updates, I have been pretty good at updating every 2 days or so (on average) so I will try and keep that up. It seems to work in terms of my schedule and it works for my Beta and you guys seem to like it too. **

**Thank you Leon, as always, for your awesome editing and advice. Also thank you Leon for your reviews! Loved them all :) **

**Please don't kill me for the next few chapters and just trust me on this. I can't possibly let B&E be together so easily or else there would be no story. And I don't know about you guys, but I love me a Sullen Cullen. **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. **

**EPOV**

I was sure Bella was taken aback by new 'free agent' act tonight, and even though I was admittedly being a jackass, she needed to know that I wasn't any good for her. If she wasn't going to listen to me, then what better way to convey the message by showing her?

Renesmee seemed an easy target; she was shy and new and probably nervous as hell and why wouldn't she be? She only got here a few days ago and was now instantly surrounded by the social elite of Forks High, in my living room, on my couch, having a discussion with yours truly, Jasper Whitlock, Alice Brandon, and the newest member of our crew, Bella Swan.

Jake somehow swindled his way into the exclusive members only party, and if it wasn't because of his association to the new chick, I'd have kicked him out of my place long ago.

So I was looking, not touching, like a good little boyfriend when Bella snapped, pronouncing those terrible words: "we need to talk."

I mean, I shouldn't be surprised. Those words, "we need to talk," were the cornerstone of every relationship. Those dreadful words can either make it or break it, and I didn't know what the hell was gonna make us right.

Was it so bad that I was a) fully aware that I was a bad fucking boyfriend, and b) I was a bad guy altogether. I wasn't the hero; I wasn't some guy that went around saving women – that was Jasper or Jake. They saved women from the likes of me.

_I was the jackass. _

I was the one that used them and fucked them; and, sure, I gave them a hell of a lot of sexual satisfaction, and when it came down to it I knew how to be a gentleman, but I didn't ever proclaim to be a good guy. Bella knew this.

Bella, the girl of my dreams, was being silly. She was a silly girl not to listen to everyone who told her not to date me and there was a very serious, very bad reason for that. And it wasn't just that I was some bad guy. I knew I wouldn't change with Bella and I was almost one hundred percent positive and even though I wanted to lead myself down a path of denial just so I could fucking be with her, my past spoke for itself. My unspeakable, not needing to be mentioned ever again, past.

So here I am, attempting to be the "good guy" by doing what I do best: being a bad guy. I was hitting on new chick to try and show her – as painful as it was for me to see her reaction – that I wasn't a changed man. She needed to see it with her own eyes and I would almost go as far as sleeping with the damn chick if it meant Bella would stay the hell away. But she wasn't smart when it came to me. She was silly, foolish, irrational.

She was _in love._

And that emotion alone was potent enough to impair your judgment beyond all logical reason. I didn't want to hurt her, and it would kill me to see her cry again, but eventually shit had to be done.

I was in love too; but, luckily for me, she was being a real pill lately, so it was easier for me to put my head before my dick and heart and just get it over and done. I'll admit the chapters of my life that Jasper listed off, apparently right in front of her, weren't exactly my finest selling points. I did look like a real douche and she had every right to be mad at me. But she knew that was me. I never tried to hide who I was in the past and I never guaranteed I'd change for her. I said I'd be there for her, and I promised her I was hers as long as she wanted, but I never once declared that I was able to change. I never professed those false pretenses.

"Alright, let's talk," I said, trying my best to sound fed up with her. Stay away, Bella. You have to stay away from me. Stop making this so hard, stop making me hurt you. I gritted my teeth and rolled my eyes and she gave me the saddest, most confused look, and it hurt me so bad.

She took me by the hand and I felt a surge of electricity caused by the excitement of holding her, and dammit, was she really taking me up to my room?

I was done for.

She led me through the masses of people with little success; she was so drunk that she could barely stand herself, let alone lead me, but any efforts I made to assist her she rejected with a swift badly aimed slap, which usually ended up hitting me right in the junk instead of across the face like she intended.

Despite this, I followed her and kept a distance as close as possible and held one hand in front of my crotch in case she decided to swat again.

Before we made it to the staircase, I scanned the room to see if Newton was anywhere in sight because maybe he drugged her; she couldn't possibly have consumed so much alcohol in the short time she was here. In the midst of my search for him she somehow tripped, which I missed, resulting in her nearly falling face first onto the floor but I swooped down and caught her in my arms right before she hit the hard marble floor.

She sighed loudly and rubbed her face with her hands and let out a frustrated "argh," and then I think she passed out cold.

"Uh, Bella? Are you okay there?" I asked. I made it up to my room quickly and splashed her face with water and as unpleasant as it was for her, I was pretty fucking worried about her losing consciousness. Still holding her in my arms, I placed her gently on my bed and ran to the bathroom to get a cold facecloth.

When I returned, she seemed slightly more coherent and was sitting in the middle of the bed with her arms crossed, brows furrowed in absolute rage and she was actually pouting.

"HUMPH!" she grunted loudly, her whole torso rising and falling with the exasperated sigh. It was rather dramatic.

"You okay, Bella?" I asked again, this time worried about all this pent up anger she was withholding. "You know, I make a good punching bag when it comes down to it," I joked, and instantly regretted saying that because she giggled a little bit and knowing I would have to hurt this amazing, beautiful, gorgeous Bella – who was now happy – was enough to break my heart.

It was _slightly_ easier to be an asshole to her when she was being one back at me. Not that it didn't still kill me.

"Oh Edward," she sighed again and flopped back on my bed. I didn't know if that was an 'oh Edward' out of defeat or if it was an 'oh Edward come and fuck me,' because the second one was sounding pretty good right about now. Maybe it was an 'Oh Edward I'm passing out.' That would be inconvenient.

"Define 'okay'," she slurred, answering my initial question, and I was honestly surprised she was comprehensive enough to recall it. "If by OK, you mean your boyfriend wants to fuck the new girl, then yeah – I guess I'm A-O-fucking-Kay," she spat, and I mean literally spat – like spit came out of her mouth and she slapped her hand to her mouth and lazily dragged it across trying to rid of the drool.

Right. She wasn't okay.

"I'm sorry, Bella." That's right – don't deny or admit to anything. It makes it easier to explain later. I learned this from the legal genius Jenks, who was also a bit of a sketchbag if you ask me, but he took his job as representing me and fighting off all the charges earned throughout my various illegalities very seriously, so he was a fuckin' genius in my books.

"You think she's hot, don't you?" she asked, groaning and rolling around on the bed in a drunken fit of rage and probably a tad bit of mania too if you asked me.

Well, of course I thought the new girl was fucking hot. Who the hell wouldn't? She looked like some celeb I couldn't quite pin the name on, 'cept hotter. Waaay hotter. And so down-to-earth about it all. And smart as fuck. I mean, she already got accepted to every Ivy League out there, and she was narrowing it down between Stanford, Yale, Dartmouth and Harvard. Freaky smart, if you asked me...

So yes, she was hot. But did I want her? Well, I didn't fucking know! What kind of question was that? Maybe?

But did I want her as much as I wanted Bella?

Not even close.

If I wanted to fuck the chick, it was only because it was kind of my prerogative to fuck the new girls, but with Bella in my life the thought seemed a little less appealing. Now, if Bella and I were one hundred percent okay, then the thought wouldn't have crossed my mind and it'd be like the jewelry store all over again; me rejecting easy pussy.

"Eh, she's not bad," I replied flatly.

I felt bad driving my Bella crazy like this but it would all go away if she would just leave. Not literally, because she'd end up in a ditch somewhere. But leave as in leave me and fall into the arms of her knight in shining armour – Jake or Jasper or someone like that. Hell, even Newton would be better than me.

"Edward, I'm fuckin' tired. Can we go to sleep?"

Wait, wait, _wait_. I was supposed to bail on my own party so I could sleep with my sorta girlfriend, who was angry with me? Who I was desperately trying to reject so she could find a better man?--for instance, my ex-best friend who wanted her and would be good for her. And I knew I was no good for her… and she thought that sleeping in the same bed as me would somehow make this easier _how_?

Before I could answer she was unbuttoning her pants, and what the hell was she trying to do to me.

"Uh, sure." I hopped into bed beside her, practically scrambling to get my t-shirt and pants off. It was probably only ten thirty or some shit but I didn't care. If tonight was the last night I was with Bella, I'd at least make it a good one for her.

Not sexually, you assholes. I wasn't a dick like Newton. I didn't need girls to be drunk to fuck them. I would hold her and let her sleep in my bed but come morning I was going to be a new person.

She looked at me and seemed a little taken aback by my eagerness; as if her radar was going off but there was no reason she needed to worry about shit like that with me. I think.

"I'll get the light," she said, and stumbled over and shut them off. Little did she know I had a handy remote for such inane tasks, but I wanted the excuse to check out her ass.

She struggled to pull off her grey hoodie and once she succeeded triumphantly threw it on the ground as if to say "ha ha, I won."

It was actually pretty cute.

Wait, cute? No. It was hot. Not cute. Edward Cullen doesn't do cute. _Man up, Cullen!_

Wow. I was about to get into bed with a girl so drunk she got in a fight with her sweater. She wasn't wearing anything except for those skimpy panties and tank top and that shit was tempting as hell.

"Here," I said, tossing her a pair of the baggiest boxers I could find.

She examined them intently for a minute, as if she was wondering what she should do with them. She then ripped her panties down and she wasn't even fuckin discreet about it. Was I supposed to look away?

I turned around to give her some privacy, not like she'd notice but it was the principal, and turned around when I heard a loud thump.

She managed to fall head first onto the floor in the two seconds I turned my back on her and was just lying there, spread out on my carpet with the boxers not even pulled up all the way.

Oh god.

I scooped her up in my arms and struggled with one arm to pull the boxers up – higher than necessary to avoid temptation – and gently placed her in my bed.

"Edward, take me," she said as I let go of her.

Oh god.

It was definitely time for a mental pep talk.

I needed to get with the fucking program. Bella Swan was in my bed, in boxers and a skimpy white tank top (why the hell did she always wear those tank tops!? Sexy as hell without even trying to be sexy) and I had two options.

Option one: have sex with her. I very much liked that option. NO I DIDN'T. SHE WAS FUCKING DRUNK. But she was asking for it, a lot. As I'm having this internal debate she's lying with her legs spread rubbing her body all over in some drunken attempt to seduce me and she's asking – no she's fucking begging for me to take her.

Oh god.

Option two: go back to the party. Get fucked up, pass out in my bed, and just let Bella do whatever she wanted to do. Worry about it tomorrow. She'd likely pass out here after a few seconds of my absence anyway.

I could just tell her why I'm a scumbag and scare her away forever, but that option was the least favourable right now. Plus, she'd likely forget by morning why I was a scumbag.

We could go on a break for the break; I'd go to Monte Carlo, she'd go to Whistler, and hopefully she'd get sick of me by then and we could go back to being platonic or some shit.

I dunno.

I heard a knock at my bedroom door and Bella darted toward it, at record speed and coordination for a drunken person. Except she actually ran into the door instead of opening it. I ran up behind her and steadied her; and then once her feet were fixed on the ground, I answered the door.

Renesmee.

Oh god.

"I'm, uh, I'm really sorry," she began, looking down at her feet nervously, "I didn't mean to interrupt" she said; referring to drunken Bella standing beside me, doing some sort of drunken stripper dance around me, wrapping her legs around mine and nearly tripping again. It looked more like she was trying to climb up my body like I was a rope or something bizarre.

Renesmee turned to walk away and I grabbed her wrist. "Wait!"

Bella shot me an annoyed glare and the same to Renesmee, and then plopped herself on the centre of my bed, sitting cross-legged. She started humming to herself, which evolved into belting out something terrible, a tune that was in no way coherent enough to ever identify. It actually sounded kind of painful.

"What can I help you with?" I asked, turning to face Renesmee. I assumed there was shit going on downstairs and all I could do was pray that they didn't decide to smash Ol' Grandma Cullen's remains and vacuum them up with the Dyson. Then shit would hit the fan with Carlisle and a serious lecture would ensue.

"Um, well, I was looking for a bathroom, and also my date kind of passed out. And Jasper left somewhere with Alice, and I was kind of left alone when this guy Mike Newton came over, and I didn't really get a good vibe from him," she confessed shyly. "I felt bad but I just ran up here to find a bathroom when he left to get me a drink because I didn't really want to be around him anymore."

I didn't blame her. Newton couldn't charm the pants off an old lady if he tried. Plus, he was going against the Forks edict which stated that he had to wait his turn in line before macking on the new girl.

"Yeah, he's sketch. And I'm sorry you were left alone with him. I wouldn't trust him to get you a drink, either. Fucker might sprinkle some roofies in there and then you're fucked. Yeah, Newton's a fan of the roofie colada," I flashed her a grin and she blushed, and was it possible that she was as cute as Bella when she blushed? Probably not.

She giggled and I motioned for her to use my bathroom. I'd get lost trying to find a bathroom on the first floor too, and they were probably filthy as fuck with drunken passed out people and vomit across the tiles.

"Wow, it's huge!" she exclaimed when she walked inside, and that didn't surprise me. My dick and my bathroom always got the same reception from the ladies.

"Edward, I think I'm going to go home," Bella said, stumbling around trying to gather her randomly scattered around the room clothing.

She was very, very drunk.

"Bella, stay," I pleaded, but she didn't give it a second thought.

"I'm going to find Jasper and he'll give me a ride." Fuck Jasper. He wasn't going to be a white knight tonight. Tonight was my last night with Bella.

Dammit all, if Jasper _did_ take her and become her knight, I'd be in the clear. Why the fuck couldn't I let her go with him?

Did I not want her to really leave? No. Dammit, no. It's because this was my last night and I take my claim. Technically, she's still my girlfriend and no other guy touches Cullen's girl.

"Jasper's car is at Starbucks; me and him got a ride here from my attorney. And besides, he's probably as drunk as you are," I argued.

"Well, I'm not going to stay here if she's going to be here," she spat, and Renesmee timidly poked her head out of the bathroom.

I waved for her to come in here; she must have felt like she was imposing on something, which was always a shitty feeling.

"I'm interrupting something, aren't I?" she asked apologetically.

"Don't want your apologies," Bella blurted out. "I'm leaving."

She walked out of the room tightly holding on to her belongings, still wearing my boxers and a tank top.

"I'll be right back," I said to Renesmee, "Stay put for just a sec."

She nodded, understanding of my need to deal with Bella.

I ran down the hall to catch up with Bella, which wasn't difficult considering she could barely walk. She had both hands plastered to the wall and she was using them as a guide to side step her way to the staircase. She was an accident waiting to happen.

"I'll drive you home," I insisted, and gently took her by the shoulder.

"No. You. Won't," she screeched and jerked her arm away from my grip, stumbling and nearly falling over the edge of the railing.

I swiftly grabbed her and held her firmly by her shoulders, knowing it was unsafe to let her walk on her own.

"Bella, you're drunk. Please, let me drive you home."

The last thing I needed was her stumbling around and getting taken advantage of by Newton or some skeeze.

"No!" she screamed, and I didn't want to cause a scene considering we were both wearing minimal clothing. The rumours would just run wild.

"Bella, if you won't trust me, then Aro will drive you home. That's final," I said firmly.

She looked at me, a strange expression growing on her face –it looked like a combination of hurt and anger, and I didn't know why what I'd said was apparently so terrible. She hesitated for a minute, likely trying to find a logical rebuttal, but she was too incoherent.

"Fine."

"Now let's get you dressed, and then we'll get you home safely," I felt like I was talking to a two year old.

She reluctantly followed me to my bedroom and shot Renesmee another hateful glare. I was starting to feel sorry for the poor girl since she didn't do a damn thing. Bella was being childish.

Could say the same thing about myself, but that's besides the point. I had a damn good reason. I think.

No, I did.

Right?

She somehow managed to return from the bathroom, fully dressed in her original clothing, and looked at me expectantly, crossing her arms and tapping her foot.

"Well?" she snapped.

"Alright. Renesmee, did you want a ride home too?" I offered.

Well, if Bella wasn't pissed before, she certainly was now. She huffed loudly and obnoxiously. I seriously was only offering two girls a ride home so they wouldn't be raped at my own party by Newton, and that made me a bad guy because...?

Renesmee looked taken aback by Bella's reaction and looked at me for some sort of explanation, but all I could do was shake my head.

"A ride would actually be great. Bella, would you mind if I rode along with you?" she asked tentatively; she treated Bella just like you would a ticking time bomb; with excessive ease and skepticism.

Bella shrugged indifferently. As ridiculous as she was being, Bella was pretty fuckin' hot when she was angry and jealous... and admittedly, hilarious when she was drunk. If I wasn't so worried about her, I'd find this act very amusing.

We snuck past the drunken belligerence and made our way to the garage. Aro clearly wasn't working and I'd only said that so Bella would take the offer of a ride.

She scowled when I led her to the Volvo and slurred something unclear.

"Aro isn't here?" she said, her chin jutting out in her state of rage. Yep, she was fucking sexy when she was angry.

I chuckled and didn't answer because she'd throw a shit fit and she would be hard to contain when she was drunk.

Renesmee and Bella exchanged glances wondering who was going to grab the front seat and Bella made a move for it. It made sense; she was my girlfriend after all. Looking quite triumphant with herself, she took the seat and struggled to try and buckle in her seatbelt. I leaned over to help her, grazing her stomach as I pulled the seatbelt across her and she huffed again.

Oh, Bella.

Renesmee commented earlier that she lived in Jasper's subdivision so I took Bella home first since it was on the way.

When we arrived at her place all the lights were off and I remembered Rose was away in Cancun with Emmett. I internally debated whether or not it was a good idea to let Bella spend the night alone when she was clearly drunk but I noticed Esme's car through the garage window and decided it was best to let her sleep whatever she was going through off; hopefully her perspective would lighten overnight.

I walked her to the door and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek but she flinched away dramatically and slapped me across the chest instead. It didn't hurt physically because she barely hit me, but the gesture was enough to break my heart. But this is how it had to be, and I'd better get used to this feeling if I was going to reject Bella to keep her safe.

She struggled with her keys in the lock for awhile and I offered to help her because hell, I was sober, but she jerked away from me as if I had hit her or something.

She managed to open the door and stumbled inside, tripping on her own feet. I reached out and grabbed her waist to try and steady her but she pushed me away and in her drunken stupor just ended up tripping again. She turned around, flashing me a livid glare and pursed her lips. Once she got up she huffed loudly and looked at me expectantly.

"Goodnight," I said, but the only response I received was a door slamming in my face.

"Goodnight," I repeated quietly. "And goodbye."


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Thanks guys for reading and sticking with me this far, and many thanks to my Beta LEONNNNN (since you like it best with many N's). You all rock! Love all these reviews too! Wow. Amazing. The more reviews received the sexier Edward shall get! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own it. **

**RPOV**

I sat in Edward's car, anxiously awaiting his return, but he just stood in front of the door that Bella slammed in his face.

He was completely still and just stared.

I didn't know what to do and I felt so awkward that I witnessed all this.

When Jake told me this town was a little much to take in, I had no idea what I was in for. Having only been here for just under two weeks, I barely got a chance to meet anyone and I was happy to find a friend in Jake. He was such a genuine, refreshing friend, and even though he was completely different from my friends back home, I was lucky to have met someone who was a little different and down to earth. Plus, it didn't hurt that he was absolutely gorgeous, even if in a pretty-boy way.

Or so I thought, before meeting his friends. If Jake was gorgeous, then Edward and his friend Jasper were in an entirely different league; they were older than Jake and therefore more mature, sophisticated and self-assured; and they made it quite clear they were in an exclusive group of their own. The fact that they had this certain air about them was a turn-on.

Although this is why I left Manhattan – to avoid the likes of the wealthy elite – there was a small part of me that was still attuned to these rich society boys. And what set Jasper, and more particularly Edward, apart from Park Avenue's society boys was their location; they were from a more down to earth place and let me tell you, I'd rather date a high society boy from Seattle or Forks (even though the concept of "high society Forks" sounded like a paradox) than one that hailed from Park Ave. Park Ave guys have all become metrosexual and that fad is just so passé in my opinion. Which is also why I applied to Dartmouth; I was into this new 'granola' thing, and I think I could totally pull it off. I ditched the Louis V, head-to-toe Chanel and Tiffany's pearls for Birkenstocks, Free People and hemp bracelets. Besides, earthy chic was totally the current Forks trend.

So why am I really here? Why did I ditch my fabulous townhouse on the Upper East Side for my spinster Aunt Mimsy and "Aunt" Bonnie's Forks dig?

Well, my father, an agent for the Secret Service and my mother, of the prominent Fitzhugh family of New York, were murdered. Not killed I tell you. _Murdered_.

They were killed by a bomb that was intended to kill me as well. I still remember the scene perfectly, and it brings pangs to my heart every time I recall it.

My father, mother and I were going to a gala hosting my grandfather's charity auction at the Waldorf Astoria, something to do with raising funds for schools in the Bronx. Since I was really involved in helping the education system of the poor in NYC, I was a guest of honour. This had been highly publicized because it was sort of my "debut" into the formal high society, in a similar manner as a debutante ball, except not so ridiculous. Despite my mother's best efforts to get me to throw one of those ridiculous "debutantes" (she argued that, being the heiress of a very large corporation, I should put my face out there to promote my future business endeavours), I would rather debut myself into society being known for my charity work, not my debutante gown. So, this was my way of introducing myself into the petty circle; which, by birth, was my obligation.

Because my grandfather owned a penthouse at the Waldorf, we were staying there for the preceding days of the auction. I was getting ready in the bathroom and my parents were urging me to hurry up already and go visit grandfather before he made his speech. I remember checking myself out in the mirror to make sure I was presentable since all eyes would be on Humphrey Fitzhugh's only granddaughter and I wanted to make him proud.

I hurried out of the room and told my parents I'd meet them downstairs. As I waited for the elevator, I heard a loud bang followed by crashing that shook the entire floor. I ran back to the room and banged on my parents bedroom door but there was no answer. I could see the smoke seeping out from under the door and I panicked and kept banging the door but there still was no answer.

Servants came to my aid and, before I knew it, I was being dragged out of the hotel by my grandfather and my parents were carried out shortly in a body bag and there were sirens everywhere.

After days of investigation by the best detectives, CIA, FBI, and other secret services in the country, it was discovered that my father had a hit on him by a wealthy oil magnate from Saudi Arabia whom he was investigating for being involved with a terrorist organization. Apparently, my father was so close to exposing this man's "other" business (the less honorable part), he posed a detrimental threat to this guy, so he decided to "take care" of my father. It was always a risk and we all knew that, but my father was so good and passionate about his job. I never thought I'd see the day his life was taken by this passion.

My grandfather always warned my mother of the risks of marrying my father; but my mother being the stubborn mule. She was thought my grandfather was only warning my mother for his own benefit, so his daughter didn't marry the "lowly agent" when she could have bigger fish in the sea. This was _so_ not my grandfather's intention and he was never one to say 'I told you so;' though it's not like he had the chance now. My mother and father were the embodiment of true love, and even though they died, they died together and they would not have wanted it any other way.

A hit was still out for me because word has it the mission was deemed "failed" because I was still breathing. This man had it out for blood and my grandfather and I were the next targets. My grandfather was the most selfless man when it came to his family and wanted to make sure I was out of the city and safe. Because our family was so high profile in Manhattan, he sent me to live with his cousin Mimsy and her life partner, Bonnie. As much as I wanted to stay with Grandfather, he assured me he was safe and had around-the-clock body guard at his side anyway, and I was best out of the spotlight with Mims.

Apparently Aunt Mims was the biggest rebel in the Fitzhugh clan and changed her surname to her partner's when she moved out of NYC's high society and into the random forestry town of Forks, Washington.

She grew up much like me; even though her parents weren't as rich as mine, she still played the scene as she was taught to. Once my grandfather made it big he brought forth massive wealth to the family and she, being the favourite cousin of my grandfather, was whisked into an even higher society. She became renowned by her last name "Fitzhugh," but grew tired of this lifestyle quickly once she realized it wasn't who she was at all. She was struggling finding an identity and truth in this fake existence so she started being who she really was, thus being deemed a rebel because of her new lifestyle. She was into sex, drugs, rock and roll and, eventually, came out as a lesbian. She hated the backlash, and the society in general, so she packed up and moved away where nobody could find her or know her name.

So she was Mimsy Mills; "spinster" because she didn't want to come out with her sexuality to the people of Forks because that was just asking for gossip. She laid low, working as a Professor of Women's Studies at the college in Seattle but, because she only taught a couple days a week, lived in Forks with her partner Bonnie Mills. My grandfather always generously paid her way (despite her vehement resistance), ensuring she had enough money or what he deemed suitable to live well, which was in fact enough to live very, very well.

So my grandfather thought it would be a good idea if I assumed a new "persona," so to speak, and followed suit of Mimsy by "laying low." It wasn't necessary I change my name because I was never exclusively a "Fitzhugh;" I took my father's last name as well as my mother's and was a Reynolds-Fitzhugh. But I still wanted to change my first name for a fresh start, and instead of Blair Reynolds-Fitzhugh, I became Renesmee Reynolds. Hopefully this was inconspicuous enough.

My new style was a part of who I always wanted to be but was never given the opportunity to be. If you show up to the Academy on Park Ave wearing Birkenstocks, they would likely throw you into therapy. I was born into this high society BS, and no matter where I moved, it followed me because of who my mother was. England was particularly bad because of the classist nature of British society. Once it was revealed that my mother was a Fitzhugh of "the" Fitzhugh's, I was dragged into a certain social group I was never able to avoid until now.

Forks was my fresh start and my time to become who I always wanted to be; the "real" Blair. The Blair who ditched her friend's parties because she wanted to sit at home and read Jane Eyre, but who told her friends she was sick instead of revealing the truth. I was always a bit too "kind" (which they called "naive" in Manhattan) which is why I never felt I fit in with my catty, manipulative "friends." I was hoping Forks would have nice people I could hang out with but I had my reservations about Edward Cullen and his friends.

But I'm never one to judge a book by its cover because that is the story of my life.

Edward returned to his car looking like he'd just heard the worst news of his life, and he wore that look well. His tousled hair was even more mussed from running his long, elegant fingers through the strands and his brooding, furrowed brow only added to his sex appeal.

He looked very debonair in his Hugo Boss jeans, J Lindberg belt, Lacoste sky blue polo, and a very stylish Ermenegildo Zegna blazer worn over top. Edward Cullen perfected the look that all Manhattan boys strived for: casual (read: unplanned) luxury. Not over the top primped – at all, looking like he just threw on whatever random clothes he found which happened to be three of the most stylish pieces a man can own; a basic polo, an impeccably tailored blazer, and a good pair of jeans. Plus I noticed his Rufus Gerard watch; the Lacus Temporis limited edition watch. Whether he had a stylist, a personal shopper, or a really stylish mother who did nothing but shop for the latest trends on Fifth, he certainly mastered the look.

But back to him looking like a wreck (and wearing it well).

"Are you okay?" I asked; I felt genuinely bad for him. He seemed like such a decent guy and this Bella woman was walking all over him. Plus, she was dreadfully rude. Didn't her mother ever teach her manners?

He fell back into his seat, and laid his head on the steering wheel. "I don't know, Renesmee." His voice was muffled by his head being in his arms, but I could still tell it was laden with tension.

"Do you want me to drive?" I offered.

He lifted his head and looked at me like I had just grown another head. "Can you even _drive_ a stick?" he asked condescendingly, implying all I knew how to drive were basic models.

Can I drive a stick?

Ha!

I might have been an ex-socialite, and I might have had a pretentious past that I'm hiding, but one thing I was not afraid to profess was my excellent driving skills.

"My father taught me when I was little and it's always just been second nature since then. I don't even have to think about it," I said, trying not to sound like I was bragging but I think it came out that way.

"Well, then, let's see these incredible driving skills," he said dryly, tossing me the keys.

I lifted my right arm up in the air and caught them easily (which I think was a super smooth move) and winked at him.

He gave me a puzzled look and shook his head as if to say, "whatever."

I took the driver's seat and adjusted everything to make sure I was comfortable and took off on the long winding road. His car handled nicely; even though I rarely drove in Manhattan (personal chauffer), I could certainly still appreciate a nice car. My grandfather had a Bentley which was a boat compared to this compact sporty Volvo. I, myself, drove a little Audi TT convertible.

I glanced over at Edward who was trying to look calm but I could easily spot a nervous passenger; his left hand was gripping the edge of his seat and his right hand was propped against the door, ready to grab the "holy shit handles" instantly in the event of an emergency.

"I'm a bit of a closet car nut," I confessed as I hugged the corner at top speed, shifting mid-curve.

I took another look at him from the corner of my eye; his body eased up and he was seemingly relaxed. Aside from the pained look in his eyes and his constant pinching the bridge of his nose, you'd think the guy was content.

"Really?" he asked; I wasn't sure if he'd heard me because he kept looking at his phone anxiously. "Well then, have I got a car for you. Remind me to show you my 'baby'," he said, suddenly more eager. "Only special people get to try that one out. And you've proven yourself to be a more than adept driver."

"I'd like that," I replied. "That would be really nice." I flashed him the sweetest smile I could muster and he gave me the same puzzled look and shrugged it off again.

Weird.

It was silent for a few minutes and I noticed Edward was busy texting away on his Blackberry. I ditched my iPhone for a more modest Blackberry Pearl under the false pretence that everyone here would have archaic cell phones with a rotary dial – if those were ever even made.

Well, was I ever mistaken.

"So, what other secret pastimes have you got?" Edward asked, shoving his phone in the pocket of his jeans.

It was nice being asked genuine questions and it was even nicer being able to give genuine answers.

"I'm a bit of a cinephile," I admitted. "Get me any great classic film and I'm there. Notable are those of the noir genre. I love film noir; the femme fatale and the dames mystérieuse and the brooding men, oh wow. Dark alleyways and public paranoia, powerful female protagonists that can hold their own, and oh no, am I scaring you off?" I hoped I wasn't coming off as a geek.

He actually looked kind of amused. "No, please. Go on." He laid back as if he was waiting to be told a story, but he didn't look very comfortable. His legs were so long they barely fit in the front seat but, despite this, he still had them sprawled out across the minimal space that existed.

He rummaged around through his pockets looking for something.

"Cigarette?" he asked, pulling out a pack of Dunhill cigarettes. Everything he did, even smoking, was done classy.

"Oh, no thanks; I don't smoke."

"I didn't take you for a smoker; more like a pot smoker if anything. Soy milk, yoga and granola, right?"

Oh if he only knew about my past and the people I was used to associating with. He'd fit right in. I once was a cocaine, runway-fashion-shows-and-lunches-at-the-Waldorf-Astoria kinda girl.

"You've got me pinned," I held up my hands. "Guilty as charged."

"Well, you _are_ from Boston after all," he smirked. "So I didn't take you for a superficial chick like some of Forks girls are." Who in Forks could possibly be the brand of superficial I was used to? "You might have to educate yourself by hanging with the likes of Alice Brandon, my cousin, for a few days," he suggested. "She'll elevate your status and you'll soon be part of the crème de la crème Forks society."

Alice Brandon was a stuck up bitch. She belonged in Manhattan – make that Paris. The Parisian socialites are more pretentious, just like her. As nice as she "tried" to be, I could see right through those perfect little devious eyes of her. She had plans, that girl. When she first met me, she took me to Starbucks and pulled out a French Vogue (she claimed the American Vogue was _so_ ten years ago), trying to show me some looks that would suit my figure. "You're a little more... voluptuous," she informed me, referring to my size two, "not stick thin size zero like me," she boasted. Well I _was_ size zero, but then I ended up living in the Diane Adler ED treatment center of Manhattan.

"You look surprised," he mused.

I was disgusted, actually. With Alice Brandon.

That, and the possibility that so many wealthy elite resorted to living in this... god knows what. What could possibly appeal about this place?

Rain and fog all day long? If you want rain, then move to London. It's more fashionable.

"Don't let Forks fool you; there's enough prominent families inhabiting this place to keep the economy going. It's our own secret hideaway. Just think, some of these families, like my own for instance," he said in a self-aggrandizing way, "could just as easily dominate the Manhattan scene or the OC if you're into surfing. But why on earth would my father, one of the most successful doctors in the continent, settle on living in Forks, Washington?" he said, enunciating 'Forks' and 'Washington' condescendingly.

"Um, I don't know. But I assume you're about to tell me?" This was going to be interesting.

"Have you ever heard of the Masens?" he searched my face for recognition. "Oh, what a ridiculous question; of _course_ you have. Who hasn't?"

"The Masens?" I was absolutely flabbergasted. They were American royalty. Hell, they were European royalty too, or their ancestors were at least, like a few generations back or whatever. But they were legendary and my grandfather had great respect for their real estate business and whatever the hell else they did. The Masen family made the Trump's real estate look fit for a trailer park. So was he going to tell me that the Masens lived in fuckin' Forks? Excuse my français, but _was. He. Serious?_

At the Academy on Park, rather than learn about prominent historical figures such as Benjamin Franklin or Abraham Lincoln, we learned about the Masens and other wealthy American sovereigns; our lectures usually revolved around the Masens, the Vanderbilts, the Rothschilds and the Rockefellers. My family was still too nouveau to predict longevity of our current success but we were still discussed in the 'contemporary' wealthy elites, which sufficed enough I suppose.

As far as I knew, the William C. Masen & Co. empire reigned from NYC, London, Rome and a crap load of other places, but _not_ Washington. The family, having been esteemed in real estate and then branching out to other entrepreneurial endeavours, have been a prominent American family for over a century so they certainly have a strong legacy and a prestigious reputation to uphold. Somehow, to my amazement, they have managed to keep their private life entirely private and nobody really knows who this 'family' was anymore; rumour has it the two living heirs Elizabeth and her brother William Masen IIIV still own the company by having the largest share but they placed James Walsh in charge who is the current CEO until another member of the Masen family wishes to assume the role of CEO.

Until then, it seemed the Masens just sat back and reaped the benefits of owning this multi-billion dollar corporation. I at least thought they were off in Europe taking care of business over there to avoid the limelight but they just relaxed here in the effin boondocks of Washington?

Must be nice. _At least my grandfather still had to work for his money. _

"Well, yeah, they come from here too. They have a manor round here somewhere," he said casually, and how in heaven's name could he not know which manor it was? Surely it was at least as nice as his own.

"Hah," I said, really unsure what else to say. I was surprised, to say the least. I wondered if the Masen heirs also lived in Forks. "Do the Masen children go to school here?" It was silly to think they would be educated here; from my grandfather's extensive research on the topic, Forks High was the only high school and that certainly wasn't Masen standards. It was certainly not Fitzhugh standards either but I'd already experienced my whole life in the private system so what more was there to possibly learn with one semester left in high school?

"Uh, I dunno," he said, furrowing his brow. "But does it matter?"

"No, I hear they are real pretentious pricks anyway," I spat, totally losing respect for them after hearing they just sat in Forks all day rather than run their own company. "I mean, what kind of family just sits around and lets everyone else do the work for them; they are completely indolent I tell you."

Edward chuckled to himself, amused about something I said in my little rant about those Masens. "You have a point," he said, flashing me a smug grin.

Well, what about his past though? What was his story and why did his father – a doctor – own such a stately manor?

"What's your story then, why are you in Forks?" I pressed.

He thought about that for a minute, as if he was trying to figure it out himself. "Well. it's my history, I guess. My family has been here for awhile and it's sort of a part of me. And it's our hideaway," he confirmed, with a hint of pride in his voice. His family must have roots here for him to be so content with his life in Forks.

As nice as it was having someone to talk to about families of old money (made me feel at home), I couldn't help but wonder about Bella. Edward was gorgeous but she was a little bit of a plain Jane. I'm not saying she wasn't pretty; she certainly had the au natural look down, but was she _really_ his type?

The fact that I was wondering why such a hottie was with a regular girl like her was so Upper East Side of me.

"So..." I began demurely, twirling my hair with my fingers which was my nervous habit and since I was often nervous, my already wavy locks had a semi permanent nervous curl intact. I tugged on my little nervous tendril. "You and Bella, eh?"

He took a long drag of his cigarette, exhaling slowly, savouring the taste. "Yep," he said, popping the "p." "Bella Swan," he said, a hint of adoration exuding from his tone as much he tried to hide it. "So I assume she told you all about us, eh?"

"Oh, I was only a fly on the wall when I heard about you, so I didn't really listen. That's too bad that she rejected you like that though, and I'm even more surprised you'd take that from a girl."

Ooh, I was being so bad. This was so unlike me. Maybe more of Manhattan rubbed off on me than I liked to believe.

My stomach turned at the realization that this move was totally low.

Who was I really?

Did I become so lost in myself in Manhattan that I forgot who I really was? Was this "real" Blair – the Blair that loved photography and literature and cared more about what was happening in the Third World than what scandal was happening on Fifth Ave – was she all fictitious? An imagined version of who I always thought I was, but since I'd left her behind so many times, was now only a figment of my imagination?

Edward began talking and broke my concentration; thank god for that.

"Well… Normally, I wouldn't take crap from a chick," he argued defensively. "I mean, no; no, I don't. But I guess you don't know the whole story. You know what? You're right. I don't fuckin' take that shit from a girl. Especially one who slams the door in my face," he said decisively, trying to sound confident with his decision... but I could tell he was skeptical.

He aggressively flicked a bit of ash out the window and took another long drag.

We pulled into my driveway and the lights were all off. One thing I didn't like about my "aunts" was how they always kept the house dark, only lit by candles and dim lighting and they always played classical music which totally added to the eerie factor. Normally I loved classical but in this setting it just seemed... _creepy_.

"You have a nice place," Edward said, carelessly flicking his cigarette in the bush.

Oh, he had no idea; this place was very modest compared to the lifestyle I was used to. Not like I minded of course; I rather liked the old Victorian manor aspect of this house and it _was_ in the nicest neighbourhood in Forks, or so I wa told.

"It's nothing compared to yours," I said, taking his elbow as we entered the doorway. I slipped his keys into his blazer pocket and led him inside.

"Debussy," he said, referring to the classical de choix pour ce soir. "Nice."

"Yep, my aunts love that stuff," I replied dryly. The way to the top of Forks society likely wasn't by revealing my preference for music of the classical genre.

"I'm a bit of a classical music junkie... closeted of course," he admitted. "So Renesmee-"

"Nessie, actually. You can call me Nessie," I said; Renesmee was getting too long and difficult to say. Besides, I think it would be very becoming of me if word got around that Edward Cullen began using the nickname 'Nessie' on me; people might think he made it up and that would mean he spent time thinking about me and that would just be great to have swirling around.

"Nessie," he repeated. "I like that. Is that what your friends in B-town call you?"

B-town?

Boston. Right. Haven't actually been there.

Well I have. But only like twice, when I was younger. I don't remember it. Does that count? I should have chosen a city I was more familiar with, but Boston was the least suspecting. I mean, it seems like I'd fit in there, right?

"Uh, yeah..." I said, but it sounded more like a question. "I mean, yes, they do call me that," I affirmed. "I don't really keep in touch with them anymore though; I kind of just told them all I was traveling for awhile. I didn't want attention brought to me because of my parents dying and all."

"Ah, true. So now that you're safe inside, I suppose I should let you get some rest," he said; scanning his eyes through the house curiously. He sounded reluctant to have me leave.

"You could stay awhile," I offered. "You know, have some coffee at least, since you look like you're ready to collapse."

"Sure, I'd like that," he quickly replied, shrugging his blazer off.

Shit.

What if he came to my room?

I didn't have time to hide all my Manhattan stuff; the Chanel and Louis V and pictures of my friends from the Academy and all these incriminating things about my past were splayed out in the open for all to see. He'd take one look at my bedroom and know I was an ex-socialite. Come to think of it, I recall a blown up picture of me dancing in a limo wearing my Chanel haute couture party dress and Manolo's while drinking straight from a private-label bottle of Moët and Chandon hanging over my bed. That would look very convincing of my past lifestyle.

Oh dear.

"Oh dear," I said, trying my best to sound distressed. "My aunts, they um... Well, they are very old fashioned," I said simply. "They would strongly oppose to me having guests in my bedroom. But I can offer you an espresso in the kitchen if you like?"

He chuckled, and shook his head in amusement. "That would be just fine, Nessie."

Oh. My. God.

He was so fine.

I began biting my bottom lip – another habit of mine – and gave him a questioning look. A grin formed on my mouth at his reserved laughter. What was he laughing about? Whatever it was, it was certainly endearing.

"Double or single?" I asked, leading him into the large kitchen area. I motioned toward the stools at the marble island for him to take a seat.

"Double, please."

"Coming right up!" I replied; I was already all giddy from his presence and the coffee would only amplify that.

Edward Cullen, eat your heart out.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Thank you readers & reviewers. Thank you LEONNN. Also, I have a feeling a lot of my readers are hating me because of this new Nessie subplot. Please don't! I swear there is a purpose and once you figure out Edward's big burden you will see that he is only trying to protect Bella. Really. Trust me on this one! **

**Another warning: Remember that Renesmee is NOT related to Edward…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. **

**EPOV**

At the height of my wallowing – a state in which I couldn't think clearly – I accepted this chick's offer to go into her house. Normally, this wouldn't be an issue at all. In fact, chilling in a girl's kitchen was actually one of the more PG-rated things I've done in a kitchen with a girl.

The chick had a nice house; it was really old fashioned, Victorian, dark, and I swear to god I saw a shadow of a cat slinking around the corner. It could be a ghost. Judging by this place, it was probably safe to assume the latter.

There were lots of dried flowers hanging from you name it; the chandelier, the curtain rods, random dried bouquets in retro vases, some in old fashioned coca-cola bottles; I got the hint that these spinsters had very unique taste in décor. _And hey, props to them. _

Carlisle took the liberty of hiring a disgustingly overpriced interior designer to "redo" select rooms in our house once my mom took off; as a result, it made it look like each of these rooms had a different "theme" and I had a feeling that's not exactly how my ancestors intended it to be. It was obviously indicative of Carlisle's trailer trash upbringing.

Of the untouched rooms, one had wallpaper with birds on it everywhere, whereas another was more modern. Then there was the old "fencing room" that was wood paneled, housing various sets of armour, complete with chain-link bits, assembled throughout the room. Overall, it had a very "old aristocracy" theme – in other words it hadn't been updated since real aristocracy lived here over a hundred years ago. There were lots of portraits of stuffy old people I didn't know and lots of oil paintings of horses. I suppose my ancestors loved their horses and hounds more than any of their children as there were few family portraits, and few paintings of children. I didn't blame them; _I hate kids, too_. I guess me and my ancestors had that much in common.

Anyway... don't let the exterior deceive you; the interior of Renesmee's place had a very Addams Family feel to it.

She was currently working away on one of the more modern pieces in the house, an espresso machine, and was all giggly about something. I never fully understood girls, no matter how many of them I fucked.

I took a seat at the big marble island in the middle of the kitchen and wiped off a half-inch thick layer of dust.

Gross.

Wasn't dust made of human skin cells and animal dander and dead bugs and shit?

Really gross.

I was in the midst of debating whether it was bad form to send over one of my maids to clean up after this mess when an interesting portrait caught my attention. Hanging on the wall in a very large, very elaborate gilded frame was a portrait of who I assumed were the two "spinsters" looking very intimate; they were both dressed in white, holding hands and they had two large dogs sitting in front of them – some sort of shaggy sheepdog that looked like its hair housed about a hundred different types of fleas.

I was about to ask Renesmee about It, but didn't want to seem prying and didn't really care that much anyway.

Renesmee was busy humming along to some tune I couldn't decipher; occasionally she'd throw in a line or two of lyrics, "_I got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine__"_or some such shit.Her voice was beautiful and melodious and perfectly in tune like she'd taken vocal lessons or something.

I took this opportunity to check her out while her back was facing me; she was a little taller than Bella, her body was a bit more developed, and by the looks of it she worked out, which might have added to her more healthy looking figure.

Bella's body was incredible but she was a few pounds too thin and had no hips which meant I had nothing to hold onto when I wrapped my arms around her waist. Chicks always wanted to be super thin but there was seriously nothing sexier than rolling hips, and if anything, bigger rather than smaller TNA; in other words, a Tanya Denali bod. Renesmee's bod was a perfect compromise between Tanya's Playboy centrefold body (34C-24-34) and Bella's a-little-too-skinny body.

She swayed her hips in sync with her humming, her shiny hair bouncing with the movement. She turned around to face me, gave me the strangest look and started giggling a little bit.

Fickle, fickle girl.

I raised my eyebrows at her and she just resumed her milk frothing or whatever she was doing over there.

"So... tell me… how your parents chose your name, Nessie," I asked. My question must have caught her off guard because she spilled milk all over the granite counter. Could she possibly be as uncoordinated as Bella?

"Oh, whoops... I am so very clumsy," she said apologetically, blushing a bit and grabbing paper towel to clean up the mess. "Hey," she said, looking at me with her deep brown eyes, "I'm gonna run upstairs and change quickly. I spilled milk on my shirt," she tugged on her shirt to presumably show me the stain, but all I could focus on was the slightest bit of her bare stomach that was showing. She nodded her head decisively and ran up the stairs to her bedroom.

I assumed the task of making the espressos; I normally had Aro do this medial task, but I still knew how to work the damn machines. This one was a good one, too; but their mid-level Saeco was no match to the state-of-the-art DeLonghi I spent a petty fortune on.

What felt like hours later, but was realistically ten minutes, Renesmee returned in these pink pajama pants with hearts and clouds and god knows what else patterned on them, and a matching (I think?) shirt. It didn't look like her style, but she wore it well. She also tied her hair back into a loose ponytail and she looked, well… she looked damn cute.

"Nice PJ's," I teased, tugging at the pant leg as she walked past me, brushing my leg; they were silk and nothing like what Bella would ever wear and they just looked... different. It was weird seeing someone like Renesmee – in all her natural no-makeup sexiness, wearing something that I'd expect to see on glamazon Rosalie, and not have it look unnatural at all.

Versatile, I guess?

"So... shitty about my party, eh? I throw a night of mayhem -- likely being funded by yours truly -- and I don't even get to have a drink at the damn event," I said, pointing to the cappuccino I made her.

"Aw, you made me a cappuccino," she said, smiling warmly.

"Don't get used to it," I replied. "As I was saying, this party of mine, and my lack of attendance thereof; I think it's bad form, don't you? Perhaps edging on discourteous? If my extensive time in summer boarding schools taught me anything, it was good etiquette. And I wouldn't want to dismiss those values because of a bad mannered girlfriend, now would I?" I asked.

I didn't feel right hanging out with her, alone, in her house. It was borderline exclusive, and too intimate, especially now that the sleepwear was out. Bella would be cross.

"You want to go back to your party?" she asked, her face dropping.

"Provided you will accompany me," I added. I glanced at my watch; another deceased grandfather gift. "Hell, it's only eleven; Forks kids party like rockstars, and they're probably only pulling the fun stuff out now."

"I like your watch," Renesmee said decorously, as if she knew something about the luxury timepieces of Rufus Gerard.

"Oh, this?" I said casually, "Thanks. It was a gift."

"Well, nice gift. Monsieur Gerard certainly knows how to craft those watches, doesn't he?" she asked, and whoa, whoa, whoa. First thing to be noted – she was sexy as hell when she spoke in that thick French accent. Seriously, the words just rolled off her tongue and it made me want to stick that same tongue in my mouth and do so many things to it, and BELLA. FUCK'S SAKE CULLEN.

Second observation; how the hell does a tree-hugger from Boston know anything about fine watches? Especially a brand so unique and so understated as a Gerard?

She must have noticed my hesitation and quickly added, "I mean...I've seen them in magazines and stuff. They're waaaay expensive. Something like eight thousand dollars for a watch, right?"

"Something like that," I shrugged. I didn't want to come off as the arrogant bastard I was.

"So, what do you say? About the party? Will you join me?" I asked. Part of me wanted her to say yes, but the rational 'madly in love with Bella side' didn't want her to come and I hoped she would just let me go home in peace...

"Yes," she smiled widely, and oh Christ, I wish she would stop drawing attention to her mouth. "Why not. Let me just change."

"I'll wait in the car," I muttered. I gulped the rest of my coffee down and got the heck out of this girl's house.

As soon as I got in the Volvo, I felt like I could breathe again. I must have been tense and holding my breath in her house; even my subconscious knew it wasn't right to hang out with a girl who isn't your girlfriend in the middle of the night when she's wearing sinfully revealing silk, barely skimming her ass pajama pants. Having said that, only a super hot, super toned ass could look that sinful in a pair of pants. I was usually more of a "visual" guy, but I was more than happy to let my imagination run wild with this one.

Bella.

I checked my phone for the millionth time, hoping this time she emailed me to tell me she wanted me back and I could go into her home without being beaten away with a stick. Or maybe a pole. Knowing Bella, she'd probably take a lead pipe to my body and beat me unconscious in her current fit of rage. I'd take it though. I'd take it from her if it made her happy.

I lit up another smoke and hated myself for being so reliant on something: cocaine, weed, tobacco, scotch, you name it, I'll take it. Anything to replace reality was a sight for sore eyes before Bella came into my life. And now I was craving those good old reckless vices like a fish in the desert craves water. I had the mental strength to avoid that shit but my body and wallet couldn't care less.

Renesmee returned, looking good, I supposed. I didn't pay a second thought to what she was wearing because I had a woman. I think. Fuck.

It was Bella who made this so complicated. Had she never entered my life, I would be free to dick around doing god knows what with god knows who and I wouldn't feel an ounce of guilt. This is why the whole "relationship" thing didn't work for me. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Bella.

I glanced over at Renesmee who was primping herself in the visor mirror. She looked good.

She looked great.

She was wearing jeans, a cardigan and some sheer camisole looking thing underneath that showed cleavage, but didn't look like it was meant to show cleavage in that 'I'm going to tease you by only showing a bit of skin but making it enough for your dick to run wild with it' look. I was guessing it was an unintentional form of torture.

Bella, Bella, Bella.

Renesmee, Renesmee, Renesmee.

Fuck – since when were girls attracted to the asshole? I became this cold, hard bastard so that I could fuck around with girls and not _ever_ have any repercussions and, by doing so, drew in about every girl out there -- like a fucking magnet.

Didn't their mothers warn them about guys like me? Hell, my reputation in Forks alone should warrant enough bad publicity so no mother would ever want their daughters within a ten mile radius of me.

Stay away from Edward Cullen.

For fuck's sakes ladies, stay the fuck away.

Maybe I should just fuck the chick to satisfy my curiosity and save Bella. Hell, there was hardly any curiosity to satisfy. The chick was sexy as hell and everything else, but did I need her?

No. Not if Bella was in the picture.

But what if I was approaching this the wrong way? What if I could kill two birds with one stone?

What if, by fucking Renesmee, I would break Bella's heart and ultimately save her – from me and all the terrible things that are associated with me and my life?

She needed this done to her. She wasn't listening to her friends, her wise "peers," or me.

Fuck's sake Bella. For fuck's sake.

She needed this done to her, and I would break her heart and it would break mine in the meantime… but I could heal. Saving Bella should be my priority. I had to save her. I couldn't let her stay with me, and the longer I stay with her, the harder this would get.

Let Jasper take the reins. Let Jasper take Bella and care for her and heal her – again. He knows chicks and emotions, as if he were one himself.

I need to be the jackass – I need to be the one to throw her out of the plane and he can be her parachute.

And I would take all the abuse thrown at me from everyone.

I could suffer alone, in silence.

Bella needed out.

Now.

Tonight.

Come tomorrow, she won't have to see my face again.

I was fucking leaving if it were the last thing I'd do.

Packing up. Breaking her heart and leaving so I didn't have to see her suffer and sore. So I didn't ever have to see her shed a tear for me.

I couldn't fucking take that shit; sit there, watching her cry, knowing I did this to her.

She needs to be hurt and I'm the motherfucker who's going to break her and hurt her and make her sore.

_And someone else will pick up the pieces. And I will suffer alone. That is how it has to be. _

**BPOV**

I woke up feeling like the black plague had overcome me. Or maybe it was death. Hopefully death.

It took all my strength to sit up; the sun shone through the blinds stinging my eyes. I was in my bedroom. I looked around; it was messy with clothes strewn everywhere and there was no trace of Edward – which was good and bad. Good, because Esme would kill me if I had a guy staying over. Bonus points if said guy was Edward Cullen.

Bad, because that means we didn't end on good terms, especially since I made up this whole elaborate "I'm staying at Alice's" and Alice did the "I'm staying at Bella's" plan so that I could stay over at Edward's and maybe get to the more... physical parts of our relationship.

I rolled onto my side and a wave of nausea overcame me. I rushed to the bathroom, glad that Rosalie was out of the house – therefore not occupying the bathroom for her two hour daily primping routine, and spewed all over the first surface I could aim at – the bathtub.

Gross.

I shuddered and turned on the water, watching the chunks swim down the drain. Guhhhh.

I stumbled over to the sink, rinsed my mouth and brushed my teeth.

The icy mint freshness of my toothpaste made me feel instantly better; fresher at the very least.

I took a long hot shower, which didn't help much – I still looked like a zombie. I opted for letting my hair air dry, and who the fuck was I out to impress today anyway? I threw on my old burgundy sweatpants form my high school in Arizona with yellow letters BCHS on the butt, paired with a ratty old white tank top and a black fleece zip-up.

I pulled up the blinds and noticed a white blanket of snow on the ground.

My first snowfall in Forks.

A little more excited than I needed to be, I instantly forgot my massive hangover-induced headache and ran outside excitedly to feel winter in its truest form.

I sprung downstairs and ran outside wearing only my slippers and, _holy fuck,_ it was cold.

The cold hit me like a brick wall and I totally remembered why I didn't do winter.

Settling for enjoying the snow from indoors, I attempted to make myself a cup of hot chocolate.

Attempted, until Magda crept up behind me and insisted I was "mucking up the espresso machine," and "I might as well do it myself before you break something."

After puttering around my bedroom for awhile, I was seriously confused about last night's events. I kept checking my email and I didn't have any messages.

All I could recall from the night before was my being saved by Jake, meeting Renesmee, going to Cullen's party, and having my fifteen minutes of fame stolen by the new girl.

"Renesmee," I muttered under my breath.

The name came out of my mouth like venom; I never thought I could make such a beautiful-sounding name sound so vulgar.

I couldn't remember a fuckin' thing about last night and it was the first official day of my holiday – I refused to sit at home and putter. Puttering was for old people who had nothing better to do with their retirement.

I picked up the phone to call Alice. I needed to talk to her before I faced Edward.

"Hi Bella!" Alice's sing-song voice answered on the first ring.

"Alice, pick me up. We need a coffee date."

"Already on my way."

Five minutes later, Alice flew into my driveway, a cloud of dust following closely behind. That woman was a maniac driver.

I hopped inside; she was blasting some Britney Spears crap which was seriously adding to my already massive headache after three seconds of enduring it. I turned it down and faced her.

"Alice. I need to know what happened. Last night. At the party."

She raised her huge black Chanel sunglasses onto her head and flashed me a knowing look out of the corner of her eye. _That can__'__t be good. _

I wondered what the hell she was so dressed up for anyway; oh god, I hoped she wasn't taking me to one of her high society country club brunches or something. I was wearing _sweatpants_ for God's sake. And Vans. And a ratty old t-shirt and my old standby black fleece sweater that was so worn out it was pilling.

She, on the other hand, wore a bright red peacoat with large gold buttons running down the centre, black leather gloves, black tights, and Prada black leather riding boots. I looked back at my own attire and was almost ashamed.

"Swan, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you're admiring my new Prada coffee deerskin riding boots, with impeccable buckle details. Are you, young Swan?"

"No. I'm not," I replied flatly. "What. Happened. Last. Night?" I asked sharply.

She gave me an irritated look, and then her phone started vibrating.

"Grab that, will you; it's in my bag, backseat," she said impatiently. "GO!"

Ugh. I struggled to pull forth her huge oversized Prada satchel, and it could be asserted that the devil does indeed wear Prada. Or at least this devilish sprite did. I rummaged around, tossing out of the way various fashion magazines, three makeup bags, her tiny Macbook Air, a day planner, a wallet, a few sets of keys, sunglasses, and oh, _there it is_. Right at the fucking bottom.

She snatched it out of my hands and frantically started clicking away on the tiny keypad.

For Christ's sake, would you keep your eyes on the goddamn road, woman?! I didn't know what was worse: closing my eyes, being completely ignorant toward the fact that we were swerving onto the other side of the road into oncoming traffic… or sitting eyes wide-open, witnessing my own death.

I grabbed the steering wheel and she slapped my hand. "Don't. Touch. The. Porsche," she snapped.

What a grumpy devil she was being.

"We almost crashed!" I exclaimed.

She took a loud sigh and rolled her heavily made-up eyes. "You're overreacting Bella," she spoke like I was two years old. "I can obviously operate a car. I _did_ go to the best driving school in the states after all," she boasted.

"Whatever. What's so interesting on your phone anyway?" I was curious as to why she was being such a bitch and also what the urgency of receiving that message was.

"It's Jasper," she said dismissively. "And we are buying you a fucking cell phone. Nobody knew where you were, silly girl. And I hate calling your house at midnight because I wouldn't want to wake up Esme because _you_ are too lazy to have a cell phone. My treat, I insist."

"Fine, whatever." Generally speaking, agreeing to let Alice buy me something was easier than resisting, and since she could easily afford it, I tried not to feel guilty about the inevitability of her lavishing me. I never wore the stuff she bought me anyway.

"God Bella, dress up much?" she complained. "I was _going_ to take you for a lovely brunch but it seems we'll have to make a trip to the mall first. What a pain. Had I known, I would have just brought you some of my clothes. And what the hell ever happened to 'Bella the Vixen?' Hmm? All those nice clothes we got you to distract Edward during the first quarter? Did you just toss those away?" she asked, her voice laden with accusations and annoyance.

"What happened last night Alice. I'm not giving up until you tell me. What happened to me? How did I get home?" I persisted.

"I'm trying to figure that out for you," she said, alternating between looking at her cell phone and the road. "All I know is, you went up with Edward to his bedroom, Renesmee went up shortly after, and then I went up to check on you guys and you were all gone. Jasper's trying to get the DL from Edward but it seems he's not replying to any of his or my messages."

"What about you and Jazz? What happened between you guys? Did you just go home after?"

A subtle pink blush formed on Alice's cheeks and a coy smile appeared.

"Oh my God! You little slut! You totally fucked him!" I exclaimed. Way to go, Alice. I was happy for her.

"We might have done a few things, but it's completely no strings attached. He doesn't want me as much as he wants you. And I don't want to be with someone who isn't going to place my needs before yours. So we're strictly fuck buddies. Plus, I've become too much of a big deal to date Forks guys. I'm strictly dating European men from now on."

I nodded in approval and Alice started giggling.

"It was amazing though, Bella. You have no idea what you're missing out on with that boy. He's so passionate and intimate. Even when he's drunk, it's still making love," she explained. "Here I was, trying to rip off his clothes, and I think I actually ripped that ratty old Stones t-shirt, thank god for that; but he was all being sensual and kissing my neck and down my back and stomach and in my bellybutton and down below--"

"Ooookay! That's enough!" I interjected, shaking the image out of my head. Jasper was _such_ a brother to me.

"So you didn't see Edward? After we left?" I pressed. She was still giggling about the Jasper thing, and I needed answers.

She started humming conspicuously and that's when I knew she was lying.

"Just tell me. I need to hear it." He totally made out with Renesmee in front of everyone or something equally sleazy. I knew I was wrong to think he'd change for me. And we were in a fight; I think I even broke up with him before. The details were still fuzzy but I could draw a few conclusions as to what happened after our fight and none of them were good.

"Well, we don't know anything for sure..." Alice began trepidaciously.

"Okay...." I said, urging her to continue.

"But he did come back here, after he dropped you off..."

"And...?"

"And he was with Renesmee," she blurted out. It was like ripping off a Band-Aid.

"Hmm," I shrugged indifferently. "Figures."

"Listen Bell, we still don't know what happened or if anything did happen," she said, trying to ease my nerves and comfort me. "What terms did you leave on when he dropped you off?"

I didn't recall, to be exact, but I might have slammed the door in his face. "I slammed the door in his face," I confirmed.

Alice winced; "Oooh dear. That is very bad. Very, very bad. Edward has a temper, as I'm sure you know. He doesn't usually take shit like that from a girl. Or shit like that from anyone. He doesn't exactly ever put up with stuff like that."

"Yeah, well, with the way he treats women, maybe he should learn to," I retorted. "Plus, he and Jazz are keeping this huge secret from me; they got into some massive fight over it and I'm sick of this. I can barely take anymore. I just want to be with him and have everything work out and never have another problem again."

"If only love were that easy, babe."

Her phone vibrated again and she took a loud gasp, this time actually driving off the road. She swerved back on and regained her composure before speaking.

"Edward... oh god;" she took another gasp and covered her mouth. "Renesmee walked out of Edward's house. This morning. Jasper knows everything. We're taking a detour, babe. We're going to the motherfucker's house."

Before I could protest, she spun the car around and sped off in the direction of Edward's house.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: ****Hey all, this is Leon McFrenchington. I beta and, now, co-write this story with the awesome grey-eyed-blonde. I feel honored to be doing this and I hope you all enjoy my partaking in this wonderful journey. I ask that you trust us, because there are plenty of surprises in store. And don't doubt the HEA. Just read and be happy you're here for the ride! I've been told what's going to happen and have input some things myself; I think this story is quite fully awesome and you'll like the twists we have coming.**

REMEMBER: Nessie is NOT related to Edward. Also, don't bitch and moan about what Edward did. Just keep reading before you judge him... and Nessie... leave her alone, she's weird.

**BPOV**

We pulled up to the mansion and I ran up to the front door, barging in without knocking, and up the flights of stairs to Edward's room. Alice followed closely behind, still texting away to Jasper or whoever the fuck she was talking to.

I threw open the door, walking right inside his room without any reservations about courtesy or any of that crap. We were past formalities. We were way past etiquette. This was WAR.

I quickly scanned the room and Alice took a deep sigh of relief when we realized he wasn't in his room.

I glanced at the messy bed; sheets were strewn everywhere, pillows on the floor, feathers covering the linens. It looked like a motherfucking battlefield.

I ran into his bathroom and _nothing_. He was absolutely nowhere in sight. The fucking coward ran away.

A mental image of him rubbing up against Renesmee, his hands trailing over her perfectly sculpted body, his fingers running through her hair, his lips touching her mouth, her neck, her stomach...

I felt a heaving in my chest and tried to hold it back but couldn't, throwing up all my disgust and dignity and rage into the toilet.

Alice rushed over and held my hair just in time for me to vomit again, rubbing my back soothingly as I spewed my stomach contents once again.

I didn't bother flushing the toilet; he fucking deserved to see what he did to me.

I walked out of the bathroom and Alice followed closely behind me. I just stared at the scene of their "passion" and it was absolutely sickening.

She gave me a puzzled look, likely about my stomach contents swimming around in his toilet, but I just shrugged it off.

"Fucker deserves it. Fucker deserves his shit to get destroyed if he's gonna fuck around with my heart," I spat, throwing all the contents off his desk in a fit of rage.

"Bella! Bella, wait!" Alice said, running over to me and taking me into her arms, trying to calm me down. I rubbed my face on her shoulder and let the tears pour out onto her very expensive looking coat.

"Shhh, shh, honey," she whispered, "Shhh. It's okay, Bella. We don't even know if he's done anything. We don't know what the story is. Let's just wait and hear him out."

I was about ready to rip her head off at that comment (I mean, how the FUCK could she defend that bastard?) when someone standing behind us loudly cleared his throat.

I spun around, inducing another wave of nausea, and saw Aro standing there looking very indignant.

"Another breaking and entering by Bella Swan?" he said pretentiously. "Master Cullen instructed that there should be no guests at the manor while he's gone."

"Gone?" I asked. "The fucking coward's gone?" I spat.

Aro nodded calmly and smugly.

"Well, where the fuck did he go? To Seattle or some shit? Renesmee's?"

Aro cleared his throat again; except this time he was apprehensive. He didn't say anything and Alice piped up.

"Aro, where the fuck did Edward go? Don't make me call my father..." she warned, her voice laced in menace. I looked at her, a little surprised. She had been… completely loyal. I felt sick for expecting less. She was a teenager, like the rest of us--of course she could be a bitch at times, but who wasn't? _Damn it, maybe I'm the bitch_.

Aro took another sigh and reluctantly but dutifully answered. "Master Cullen has gone out of town. I don't know for how long or whom he went with or where he went. He simply informed me to keep visitors out of the house, and I'm sorry to say that you, Miss Swan, are a visitor," he said my name condescendingly. "And as for you, Miss Cullen-Brandon--"

"Brandon. Miss. BRANDON," Alice muttered through her teeth.

"Right. Miss _Brandon_ is entitled to stay as she wishes."

"Fine," I spat, looking Aro straight in the eyes. He raised his eyebrow as if ready to challenge me and I just rolled my eyes and sighed in defeat. "Alice, let's go. I'm sick of this circus act. I need a new wardrobe anyway."

Alice shot Aro a look that could kill and he haughtily straightened his posture as if unaffected by her authority.

"I'm calling my father right now, Aro. I'm telling him what an inhospitable employee you've been to me and Miss Swan. I don't think my father, heir to the Masen fortune, would be happy to see his money going into the pockets of some skeeze." She shot him another glance and he reddened slightly, and we left the asshole dumbfounded.

"I answer to Master Cullen only!" he shouted out behind us (no doubt a much needed act of defiance after working under his fucked up boss; "Master Cullen") and Alice literally began dialling her digits. The poor fucker was bound to get a talking to –at the very least.

"Al, where the hell would he go? Why would he do this? Do you think he's overdosed again?"

"I don't know, I don't know, and I don't know. Actually – that's a lie. There are a good number of places Edward could go to hide out. We Masens have a ton of hideaways around the world; it comes from earlier days when if trouble struck there'd be an abundance of places to hide out and lay low. Most likely he'd hit up St Tropez, Aspen, Florence; there's a few others, but it'll be impossible to find him. That's the whole point of these hideaways: you can totally lose yourself in these remote places." She held her finger up, pausing me.

"Yes, get my father please. Thank you." Another pause. "Hi daddy, you need to talk with Aro. Yes, I know you're very busy. Well, Edward's gone. No, I don't know where he's gone. Never mind that, father; he's gone on vacation likely. Oh, I know. Yes, we still need the chalet, of course we do. Naples? Really? Can't you think of anywhere more creative? Well, I suppose if that's what mother wishes..."

And damn it all, if he weren't on my mind already. No matter what she said to her father, I kept thinking about anything that related to him.

How could the fucker do this to me? How could the fucker act this way? Where was the guy from Starbucks? Where was the guy who fought for me?

Shit if I knew. I expected it to be hard… I knew it would be. But he was worth it. I saw the real Edward Cullen, and fuck it all if I didn't love him. Because I did. _I do_.

Fucking damn it! What the hell, Swan? You're still in love with that shitface? He's yesterday's news--a kick in the ass, a knee in the balls, and a smack on the head, _you're outta here, Cullen._

Alice continued on like, speaking to her father about some nonsense, that for a few moments, and then we drove off and I don't know where we were headed.

"I think we need to go to the only girl who's got some answers."

"No," I said firmly, leaving behind my thoughts of Edward… or trying to.

Alice gave me a pleading look.

"No. Go on your own time. I don't fucking want to talk to _her,_" I shot back.

"Bella, we need to know what happened. It's the only way," she retorted, already heading down a path I knew too well. _Jasper's?_

We arrived soon, in front of a house that was most definitely _not_ Jasper's.

"What the hell, Al! I don't want to go in there! Come on, let's go to the mall or something, no complaints from me," I yelled, throwing my hands in the air. She looked at me as I tried to calm down, my breathing heavy and my eyes brimmed with tears.

Alice got out of the car and came over to my side. Opening my door, she yanked me out and, from the look on her face, I thought she was going to explode and rant about how I probably deserved this for acting the way I did to Edward, or how I was fucked up for even caring about him, or how they told me this would happen, or how--

I lost my train of thought as she pulled me into a hard hug.

"Bella, it's okay, we'll figure this out, it's okay," she whispered in my ear, wiping away the tears that had been streaming down my face. _Fucking traitors!_

"Um, excuse me?"

I turned to see _her_ standing there. The shitface. The bitch. The whore. How dare she? How _dare_ she?

"What the fuck do you want?!" I screamed at her, relishing when I saw her flinch back a little. I let go of Alice and began to stalk toward the pig when Alice caught me from behind and held me back.

"Bella, stop!"

"Let me go, I'll kill her! I'll fucking kill!" But why did I even care? She was fucking good for him--they could go and fuck and fucking do whatever else they fucking wanted to fucking do. Fuckers.

Damn it, of course the word 'fuck' comes to mind with fucking Edward fucking Cullen!

"Bella, wait! I need to talk to you!" said the hoe. I glared at her and stopped my fidgeting.

"Why the hell do you think I want to talk to _you_? Did you have fun sleeping with my boyfriend last night? Was it everything you thought it would be? Did he ride you into the early hours of the morning, telling you he fucking loved fucking you? Huh, bitch?" I was seething, my chest once again heaving as I glared at her intensely, wincing as the words hit her hard. Good. She deserved it.

"Bella… he used me," she whispered.

That stopped me.

"What did you just say?" my voice cracked. The bastard did sleep with her.

"Can we please go inside? I don't want to talk about this here," she said, looking up at me with tears in her eyes. Damn it, I was supposed to be angry with her!

"Whatever," I mumbled, walking forcefully past her, bumping her shoulder with mine. We headed to the home, but I was too distracted to really pay attention to my surroundings.

Edward actually slept with her? When we were still… somewhat together? I knew he slept with girls, one after the other, liking a chain-fucker… but he had never been in a relationship before. He fucking collared me, for fuck's sake.

Renesmee moved around me and led us to the kitchen. She motioned for us to sit down and went to the refrigerator. Taking out some water bottles, she handed it to me and told me to drink up.

"You look like you need some water, you're going to dehydrate," she whispered, not meeting my eyes. _'Yeah, 'cause some water is going to make this all better. Why the hell do I care?'_

"Thanks," I whispered back, grabbing the water bottle and taking a sip. Realizing how thirsty I was, I chugged the entire thing down and grabbed Alice's. She didn't protest, watching me drink it in one gulp. I finished the bottle and threw it across the room, propping my hands up and putting my face in them.

"What the hell… just… what the hell…" I sobbed, shaking my head in my hands. I felt two warm arms wrap around me and rub my back.

"It's alright, it's alright."

Damn it, was _she_ touching me?

I opened my eyes and pushed Renesmee off of me. She didn't resist and took a couple of steps back. We stared at each for a while, neither of us saying anything. The only sound was the clicking of Alice's texts and the motions of the grandfather clock, swinging back and forth.

"Look, Bella…" Renesmee back. She paused, looking at me stare at her emotionless. I was too confused to have emotions at the moment. I had no idea what to say, what to think. Here was the girl who slept with my boyfriend--fuck titles, here was the girl who slept with the one I loved.

I fucking love Edward Cullen.

The ass. How dare he make me fall in love with him? Screw his warnings, they meant nothing when his actions said otherwise.

"… Bella… after he dropped you off last night, Edward took me home," she paused again to take a deep breath, and I could see tears forming in her eyes. "He… he came inside and we started to talk."

I nodded blankly, my eyes feeling distant as I listened to her. Why was she crying? Why was she upset? From what I heard, a night with Edward Cullen left you sore for a month and left you on a high for a year. He ruined other men for you, and the fucker was a still a boy.

"He told me you and him weren't really together. You were just another conquest. I swear, I had no idea what he was talking about, but he just kept going off on you.

"Then he started to inch closer to me, closer and closer. We were in the living room and he put his arms around him shoulder. I didn't know what to do. Hell, I was alone and there was no way to fight him. I just sat there and prayed he wouldn't do anything.

"I won't lie. Edward's a dream-inducing guy. Just looking at him makes you wet, but I was scared shitless. But then he didn't do anything. He just kept going off on you. Bella this and Bella that. So I listened until he said he was glad this shit was over. He was leaving and he didn't give a shit about the game anymore.

"'Edward Cullen doesn't do games' were his words…" she trailed off and waited for me to respond. I didn't have anything to say.

If Edward Cullen doesn't do games, then he is some sort of fucking master. He definitely had me going.

"When I realized my aunts weren't home and they weren't going to be home for a few days, he invited me back to his place. Something about being safer in the guest house, where some guy named Arol or Aro or something like that could make sure I was okay. So I took him up on the offer. I was tipsy, didn't want to get raped in the middle of the night by some teen breaking into the house. Rather be protected by one of Edward's servants or something."

"You went to his house? You stayed in his guest house?" I clarified. Maybe he didn't sleep with her. She said he used her… Renesmee was an innocent girl, no matter how much I didn't want to admit it. She could have meant that in any way.

"Well… I did go to his house. We stayed down at the party, just chilling and talking. He started to drink and then…"

"Yeah…?"

"Well, he took me up to his room. And damn it, he started flirting," she sobbed out, her tears starting to build again. Ah, shit. Now I felt bad for her. She fucking fell for Edward Cullen. Wrong move, Renesmee, wrong move. Take it from someone who knows.

I got up and slid to her side. I pulled her into a hug and she whimpered, her tears wetting my shirt. But I returned the favor. I began to cry too, moreso than the entire day.

He did sleep with her. He slept with her, and he didn't love me, and he just wanted me to give in. The problem was, I loved him. No, I _love_ him. Bastard.

"It was innocent at first. He just talked and I listened. He told me I was beautiful. He didn't say I was hot. He said beautiful."

He called me beautiful, too.

"He said I was different. I wasn't like the snobs here in Forks, the bitches who just wanted to be with Edward Cullen. But he said he wanted to be with me."

Sounds familiar.

"And then he kissed me, and it tasted like Heaven. Damn, I was so drunk by that point and he felt so good. He just kept talking, telling me everything. I felt like he was bearing it all."

I knew what was coming next.

"And then, mid-kiss, he told me he _loved_ me."

Fucker.

"I was stunned," she choked on a sob but I rubbed her back. I couldn't fucking be mad at her. She was fucking Boston, new town and all, and what a switch. She ate granola and went to protests. She wore Birkenstocks and SmartWools. She didn't stand a chance against Edward.

"But he made me feel so good… like I was important, like he really did love me. You were right, Bella," she pulled away and looked at me, her tears marking lines across her face. I watched her through my own tears, still left speechless.

"'Did he ride you into the early hours of the morning, telling you he fucking loved fucking you? Huh, bitch?'" she repeated my words from earlier. Shit, I was the bitch here. "Yeah, he did. All night, he teased and played and fucking said he loved me and I was important.

"And then, come morning, after I woke up, he was sitting there. He just sat and watched me with cold eyes. I asked him what was wrong, if he wanted to talk.

"'No, Edward Cullen doesn't talk'," she laughed dryly, "How did it feel? Did it fucking feel good? You're just another whore. See, this is what it was with Bella," she whispered at the end, catching on my name.

I just stared at her.

Alice had left the room, we were all alone. Here was the only other girl Edward said 'I love you' to, and he fucked with both of us. This was some psychological shit and we'd be screwed. We were screwed, no doubt about it.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I know what it means now. I do, really. Look, he left this behind for you…" she got up and walked to a drawer. She came back and handed me an envelope. I opened it slowly, my eyes furrowed.

A number.

One fucking phone number.

He fucking wanted me to call him?

"What is it?" she asked, looking over my shoulder. When she saw the number, she barked a humorless chuckle. "Seems his taste, doesn't it? Use you and then taunt you?"

"He didn't use me…" I whispered thoughtfully. And he didn't. We didn't do shit. Third base, but shit, we didn't push me. And why not? Wasn't I just another conquest?

Or was it part of his game? Tease me and make me want him more? But why did he wait to tell _me_ he loved me… and then Renesmee… no one else? What was special about us? We were new to town? We were… what, brunette? There was no pattern--and I knew for a fact Edward had patterns.

"Are you going to call him?" she asked, taking a seat next to me and putting her arms around my shoulder. She pulled me onto her shoulder and I let out a whimper.

Was I strong enough to call him? What would I say? My anger… shit, it was nothing compared to everything else I felt. I didn't want to call him, but I wanted to know. I wanted to know _why_, _how_…

"Yeah. I'm going to fucking call him," my voice cracked, and I didn't feel strong, but this had to be done.

I had questions, and only Edward had the answers.

**Leon: Alright, everyone. You can completely blame me for that cliffie--but just know that I didn't want to ruin the mostly angry-to-sad shift by putting in the next chapter. The next one is FAR more depressing and it needs to be a chapter by itself. Coming from Leon next, 'The Phone Call'... **

**Please visit my account page for some more stories, as well as my website. Links, pictures, videos, and news posted there, as well as a predicted update schedule.**

**http://www****. fanfiction .net/u/1785818/  
****http://www****. freewebs .com/leonm/**


	24. Chapter 24

**Leon: Here it is, right on time, you perverts. Phone talks and conversing, provided to you by us for your enjoyment. Hopefully you all like this chapter, I liked the last one more. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight - S. Meyer does. **

I stared at the phone, laying fully charged and ready in my hand.

My speech was prepared, set, and vicious. The bastard would burn. He would burn damn well.

"Are you ready?" Renesmee asked, taking a seat next to me on her lush couch. I didn't respond, still deep in thought. I had gone over my mains points over and over.

'_Cullen, you're an ass.'_

That one came back and bit me in _my_ ass as I thought of _his_ ass. Damn, even when I should be ready to shoot the fucker, he still found some way to make me want him. It was a good thing I knew he truly was a horrible person, it made him that much less appealing.

I think.

"Bella?"

"Uh, yeah… sorry, I'm ready," I mumbled, rethinking my points. I pressed in the numbers and put the phone on speaker. Renesmee would be in on this--she deserved it at this point.

'_Cullen, you are one fucking asshole, you know that? What the fuck, just--what the fuck? What happened to all the shit between us? Huh? Didn't it mean anything? You fucking called me your _girl_. When have you ever done that before? You fucking gave me a collar and said you _loved_ me, but I suppose that's all in the past, huh? Bitch, you deserve whatever fucking shit they stick you with, you mother fucker, son of a bitch. I'm glad we never fucking made love because your shit about saying you love me only proved you don't know how to make love in any way. Be happy your rich-ass has the money or girls wouldn't give a shit about you. In fact, they don't give a shit about you. You're nothing. You think _you_ use _them_? Hell, Edward, you are more of a dipshit than I thought. Girls fucking use _you_. You're nothing much than a fuck in the sack and a present from Nordstrom's. I can't wait for all this shit to catch up to you--hell, it doesn't need to. You're enough of a fucktard to completely ruin your life without the help of others getting involved. I can't believe I fucking took care of you when you were sick, it was probably the happiest time in my life to see you in such fucking pain. I'm glad the images are burned in my mind, I can replay them over and over and over until I fucking laugh my ass off at how pathetic you truly are. This was all a fucking game and you lost it, Cullen, you lost it bad. The future holds nothing but bleak shit for you and I hope it keeps coming at you for-fucking-ever. Edward Cullen, I fucking hate yo--'_

"Hello?"

Wait, what? What was I going to say again? Shit, I had lost all nerves--his voice did me in.

"Hello?" I noticed how rough it sounded, hoarse. Almost broken. Was he hurt? Shit, why did I care? Did I actually want him to be okay after what he did?

"Who is this?" I could tell he was starting to get pissed off, but his tone was so… expectant. Did he assume I was going to call him?

"Fucking shit, _hello_? Who is this?" No time like now.

'_It's your fucking conquest, bitch, fuck you, I hate you.'_

"Edward?" my voice cracked as I said his name. I could feel my eyes swell with tears, but I blinked them back. I _would_ be strong for this. I needed to be… for everyone out there who was used by Edward Cullen, by an Edward Cullen, by anyone.

"Yeah?" he grunted, clear distaste in his voice. Couldn't he tell who it was?

"It's Bella," my fucking voice wouldn't rise over whisper level.

"So?"

_So?_

"What's that supposed to mean?" I barked, suddenly feeling the rush. I could do this. Edward had nothing on me, I didn't give a shit. I was angry and it felt _good_.

"Edward, you fuckin--" I started but was cut off when he groaned loudly.

"Bitch, I'm a little busy right now. Be quick with it," he muttered sardonically.

"You mean like you are?" I shot back, gaining a smirk from Nessie, as she liked to be called. I heard Alice yap a laughter from the room next to us, coming into the kitchen after wherever she just went.

"Who's there with you?" he asked after a moment of silence. Alice and Nessie snickered and I just rolled my eyes.

"What the fuck does that have to do with anything right now, Edward?" I hissed, earning more snickers from the girls. This was going to be good.

"Bella, I asked you a question," he asserted firmly. Where the fuck did he get off talking to me like that?

"Oh yeah, Edward? Well, here's your answer. I fuckin' hate yo--" But once again, he cut me off.

"Look, Bella. I didn't leave you this number to chit-chat. Let's just cut straight to the chase," he began, not giving me time to respond, "Here's the way this works.

"I'm out. This little tiff is boring now and I honestly don't care that much anymore."

His voice was harsh, cold, strong. Everything mine wanted to be. I couldn't respond, all my words were lost. I wanted so much to scream my head off, I wanted so much to tell him to go fuck himself, I wanted so much to get a fucking explanation from him… but I couldn't say anything.

"Bella, I'm not just out, I'm gone. The scholarship? Have it, I'm too good for that shit. You need it more than I do because I know you're not good enough to come from money."

'_What?!'_

"You can take Harvard, too. It'll be good for you to get your head out of your ass long enough to learn something. Heh, Harvard? Bella? You stressed over a high school Biology test, are you fucking joking me?

"As for me, I'll be at Dartmouth. Don't even think of applying. I don't want to end up running into you one day after this phone call. Shit, even this is taking too long."

This time, the tears didn't stop. They poured and poured and poured. Nessie and Alice sat on, staring in shock. Wasn't I supposed to be the one talking? Supposed to be the one getting angry?

"Have a nice fucking time in school, bitch. We both know it's all downhill for you from here on out," he mumbled, and I heard a loud bottle crash and a snort. Shit, why did I suddenly want to ask if he was okay? Nothing made sense anymore.

How could one person affect me this much? No more than a handful of sentences and I already felt like complete shit. He barely said anything, too. But the fact that _he_ said them… it hurt more than I thought it would.

I grabbed the phone off the table and pressed the handset button. Running into the other room, I prayed Alice and Nessie wouldn't follow. I entered the bathroom and shut the door behind me, locking it. I turned the tap and let the water flow freely before I sat down and put the receiver to my ear.

"Edward," I choked out in a sob. Suddenly, I just wanted to talk. No yelling, no screaming, no cursing. Just talking. _Why_?

"Bella," he replied coolly. I wiped my tears away, glad he hadn't hung up yet. A conversation wasn't asking for too much, was it?

And fuck, didn't I _deserve_ it after all the shit we had been through?

"Just… why? Huh, Edward? Why?" I whispered, taking breaths to calm myself.

"Ha, do you really even need to ask that?" he chuckled darkly and a deep drag sound came through the receiver soon after. "You're just another pussy. It was fun while it lasted, but hell if I even remember what you look like."

I flinched as the words stung me hard, as if the pain were actually physical.

"Ho-how can you say that?" I managed through the sobs shaking my body. I didn't have the will to act strong. I knew exactly what was happening.

I was Bella Swan. I could try and act tough, I could take it to a certain point, but I had my limits. Love was my limit. And I knew, deep down, that I still loved him. Everything else seemed so pity. The empty feeling in my stomach, the pulse in my brain, the knot in my heart--it was too much to bear.

"Say what?" Another drag. What the fuck was he smoking?

"I thought you loved me?" I choked out.

"All part of the game, Bella, all part of the game."

"_Game?_" I spat. "Edward Cullen doesn't tell anyone he loves them, and he most certainly doesn't do it as part of any fucking _game_."

"You think you know Edward Cullen, bitch?" he seethed over the phone and I felt my heart crumble. I wish I saw the _real_ Edward, the one I fell in love with. The one who put his arm around my shoulder, opened my door, bought me coffee, just wanted to be around me… instead, I was greeted by Idiotward. Assward. Doucheward. Fuckward.

Where was just plain Edward?

"I thought I did," I whispered back, tracing the patterns of the wallpaper with my finger. I had convinced myself this would work. He was worth it. He wanted me. I wanted him. Where was the issue? Oh yeah--_he_ fucked Nessie and fucking used her and fucking used me. _He_ said I was just part of the game, another conquest.

_He_ also said he loved me.

"Know better now, don'tcha?" he griped after another drag. I had to ask.

"What the hell are you smoking and drinking?" I knew my voice was laced in concern, but I couldn't help it. Even with the way he was acting, I knew _my_ Edward was still somewhere down there. He couldn't fucking fool me.

"What the fuck does that matter?" he shouted. I rolled my eyes.

"Knowing you, you'd fucking OD again and end up in some shithole without me there to save your fuckin' ass again," I shouted back. "Fuck you, Edward, I don't want to deal with that shit again."

That's when the bleak laughter began--and went on for some time.

"You don't fucking get it, do you? Bella, you'll never deal with that shit again because I'm never dealing with _your_ shit again," he fumed, and I could just see the forehead vein popping out in anger. If he were here, I would have stood behind him and put my arms around his neck, petting the vein.

But he wasn't here. And he was fucking everything up.

I didn't care what he had done… I thought I did. No, I did. But it wasn't enough to make me hate him. I disliked him, that was sure, at the moment. But hate Edward? Just the thought, now in my sober mind, was enough to make me hurl.

And I did.

My vomit splashed all over the floor and my stomach clenched tightly. I was seriously fucked up.

I heard a gasp and scream over the phone.

"What the fuck, Bella, what happened?" Was that… worry?

"'What the fuck does that matter'," I repeated his words from earlier, spitting the chunks of vomit into the toilet and flushing.

"It doesn't," he muttered back. Wrong answer, Edward, wrong answer.

"Listen here, Edward," I said his name firmly as I could, "you can't just up and leave. That shit don't sit right and I'm not putting up with it."

"You are so dense, Swan, fucking dense. This is the way it works.

"You are not fucking good enough for me. I'm going to treat my entire time with you as if it never happened. You didn't exist. I don't exist in your world. Get that through your fucking head. Never call me again."

I shut my eyes tightly and shook my head to keep my senses. He was killing me… hard.

"I'm going to Dartmouth, you're going to Harvard, and I'm fucking happy as hell that I have better things in my life. You? You get to deal with whatever shit I know you're going to get yourself into."

"It'll be like I never existed? What the fuck does that mean?" I shrieked back, smashing my fist against the wall.

"Just like what it sounds. It'll be like you never existed. I need someone good enough for me, Bella, and that just ain't you."

"Then tell me," I ordered weakly, not wanting him to truly say the words.

"Tell you what?" he asked, clearly confused.

"Tell me you don't love me. Simple. Say that you, Edward Cullen, don't love me," I undertoned, feeling the sobs take over my body once more.

But he didn't say anything. There was silence--and that was even worse. Every second ticked until I knew he would say the words, no matter how much I didn't want to hear them.

"I don't love you."

Simple. Blunt. Cold.

I let the phone drop to the floor, no longer able to stand it. I ran to the door and pulled it open, rushing past a waiting Alice and Nessie. I didn't stop, I just kept moving. Out the door, to Alice's car, I jumped in and found the key in the dashboard. I heard the screams of my girls from the door, but I didn't understand what they were saying.

My foot pressing the pedal as hard as possible, I made my way for wherever I could think of, my surroundings muffled by scenes of Edward and me together, clouding my mind…

**Leon: Yeah, yeah, I suck (but that's a story for another time). Kept it short and simple. This was one of those scenes were too many details or talk would have ruined it. Read and review and the voodoo doll stays away.**

**By the way, visit us on my website and the Twilighted boards. We love to have a fun time down there, teasers, shaking, and much, much more…**

**http://www. twilighted .?f=44&t=2851**

**A fic recommendation for those of you who haven't come across it yet:**

**The Office**** by kyla713 and tby789**

**It's absolute gold.**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Thank you readers & reviewers. You are all wonderful people for sticking with me this far. I want to give a thank you to Magnolia for giving me the "yin to her yang" line. Thank you LEONNN my Beta and co-writer (yay!) for being so much more than just a Beta (sappy, I know). You****'****re awesome. Also, you guys might need some tissues for this chapter. Just saying. **

**Disclaimer: Don****'****t own it. Leon: We own pie though. Yummy awesome pie from the land of the holy muffin.**

**EPOV**

Bella wasn't fucking okay.

I fumbled around in my pocket for my smokes, couldn't fuckin find them. Looked around the room; all my crap was lying everywhere – clothes strewn around, smokes, luggage.

Fuck. I used to pride myself on my bastardly ways, but not today. I was full of loathing because of what I did.

I looked over at the wall where my bottle of scotch hit it, then looked at the puddle of liquid and shattered glass on the floor beneath it. Fuck's sake.

Bella Swan wasn't fucking okay, and I did it to her. _I made her not okay. _

And I didn't fuckin' know what she was doing now. The phone smashed to the floor with a loud thud and she was gone. I didn't know where she went or what she was doing and it was my fault. I was fuckin' sick.

'_I don__'__t love you.__'_

I grabbed my phone off the table and threw it against the wall with all my strength, finding satisfaction in the crashing noise it made.

_And now my phone__'__s fucking smashed. _Fucking idiot.

It was all fucking wrong--why the fuck didn't she scream? Why the fuck didn't she curse my name? Why the fuck didn't she call me out?

No, instead she fucking cried. She fucking cried over Edward Cullen, the motherfucking jackass who can't get his shit straight for fuck's sake.

And not only did she cry over Edward Cullen, she cried for him--fucking asking what I was smoking and drinking, her voice damn worried that I might get hurt. This girl was more messed up than I was--the only difference was, it was all my fucking fault she was like this.

My head was fuzzy from scotch, the new kush I bought, and agony. I couldn't fuckin' live like this, outta a goddamn suitcase in the middle of the fuckin' French Riviera.

If she never fuckin' came to Forks, I wouldn't have fucked her life up and she'd be some happy little girl in Arizona far away from the wrath of Edward "mother-fucking dickhead" Cullen.

And those bastards, I'd just throw 'em some money or send an assassin out to kill them, making it impossible to trace back to me, or do something ace like that.

But they knew they had collateral on me if Bella was brought into the picture. And I wouldn't risk her for shit. These guys weren't out to kill me (as much as they were eager to do so); they wanted to make me suffer.

They would do this in the form of slow and excruciating torture, and they would try and make me suffer as they suffered. They wanted to take away my beloved.

_It__'__ll be like you never existed._

Those words destroyed her. They fucking destroyed me.

But I had to say that shit. I didn't have a fuckin' choice.

She needed to be destroyed; she needed her heart torn out of her fragile body and stomped on and crushed and fucked with.

I fucking despised myself.

This killed me, what I did to my girl, my only fucking love, the only girl I ever cared about more than I thought humanly possible.

I'd fuckin' take a bullet for her.

But right now I was worse. I was the fucker holding the gun to her heart.

I dragged myself over to my bag of luggage, ripped through the clothes, tossing shit everywhere, and pulled out another bottle of scotch. Took a few chugs and savoured the smooth, warm feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Bella had her friends, she'd be fine eventually. She'll get over me in no time. Me, on the other hand, I invested way too much in her to ever forget her. I fuckin' loved that girl; she was the only girl I ever let myself fall for and the only one I would ever want to fall for. I'd never love another chick again.

All I ever wanted to do was make her happy, love her, protect her. Make her feel like she was mine, would always be mine.

Fuck that.

I couldn't do that. No matter how much I wanted her, no matter how much I tried, I knew I couldn't have her.

I would be the most selfish motherfucker on earth.

I was a selfish motherfucker. The thing about being a selfish motherfucker is when I met Bella Swan and fell in love with her, I didn't fucking know if I had the strength to stay away. I wanted her, needed her, couldn't fucking stay away. Everything about her lured me in.

I wondered how I'd keep her away. I didn't have the strength. At first I did. At first it was all fun and games. I thought she'd be a good fuck and that was it.

But then I fell in love with her.

I couldn't keep her away and she wouldn't stay away. I tried to push her out over and over but she just came back and I loved that too much to see that I would be _killing_ her.

So I had to fucking pull the trigger and fuck myself over to save her.

Renesmee was too perfect an accomplice to pass up. It was like she was conveniently dropped in my lap.

Everyone in Forks new I wouldn't leave Bella Swan for a Jessica Stanley or Lauren Mallory. They were old news; they'd been circulated around the school more than a bottle gets spun in an active game of spin-the-bottle at a preteen party. Bella wasn't listening to my warnings or anyone else's. When Renesmee – a girl who uncannily resembled Bella – walked into town, I knew she was the perfect distraction.

I would fuck her and Bella Swan would slap me and beat me up and Jasper would beat me up and Jake would too; and I'd take it because she would be safe. She would be broken hearted, but safe.

A broken heart can be cured; dying in the place of someone you love could never be reversed.

_It will be like I never existed. _

I told Bella that I slept with Renesmee because she was not good enough. I ingrained it into her beautiful head that she wasn't good enough for me, pretty enough for me, hot enough for me. She was boring and ugly and not quite good enough for Edward motherfucking Cullen. I preyed on her insecurities.

Renesmee was new and fresh, therefore evidently my latest "conquest."

I told Renesmee everything.

I told her the situation I was in and what she needed to do to be a good friend of mine and a good friend to my group of friends. It was her "in," so to speak.

Nessie would confirm that I slept with her. That I tricked her, telling her she was different than any other girl in the world and that she was _the_ _one_. She would tell this to Bella and Bella would call me. I tell her that I slept with Nessie because I didn't want to be with her anymore; it wasn't working out and I needed a new girl.

And then, who knows. Maybe they'd bond over the fact that they were both fucked over by me. Or maybe they'd be rivals. Fuck if I care, as long as Bella's safe. But there'd be one common ground. I was an asshole.

My legacy would be that of my true colors before I met Bella Swan. I was the asshole.

Except I couldn't sleep with Renesmee.

I only wanted Bella.

I wouldn't even fuckin' attempt that shit. Fuck no, no way, no how. 'No offense, Nessie, but fuck no."

Nobody but Jasper would know that. Everyone else had to think I slept with her. It was the only way.

I would skip the country; hide out in my French villa on the coast, and just wallow. Be miserable knowing I ruined Bella Swan's life.

I told her I ran away to make it like she never existed; that she never shit on my life.

She was the ugly little reminder of the time Edward's dick was taken astray.

I left Forks, I wasn't coming back. Packed some shit. Drugs, alcohol, smokes, clothes. Money. Lots of fucking money.

I already had an in at Harvard and every other Ivy League; and I had an out -- I didn't need to be in school to guarantee a spot. I could easily vacation the rest of the year away. That was my out. Staying in Forks wasn't an option.

Now was the time. There was no more pushing aside what I knew would eventually happen. It was no longer a theory. This was real, and they were coming for me.

I took the private jet. Carlisle was a big boy; he could take care of himself. Carlisle knew this day was bound to come and wished me well. I wished him well and told him to make sure those fine young interns take good care of him. It was the most fatherly discussion we'd ever had. I told him to keep an eye on Bella, to keep her away. She didn't need to ever return to the house.

I gave Aro a nice fat tip for the times we had together. The good times, the bad times. The times he stood in my life when my fucking father should have. All those soccer games. Bailing my ass out of juvie for underage drinking.

"Aro man, you have a place with me at Dartmouth when I attend next fall. I can't really be expected to make my own omelettes and espressos every morning, now can I?"

We had a good laugh and I wished him well. Told him to take it easy for a few weeks –take that special lady friend out dancing the night away. Maybe go to Paris.

Yeah, Paris was good. I gave him enough money to fund his trip; I think I gave him enough money to fund a small African village for a year. Or five.

I told him to hide the cars and never let them out. Never let Bella see them. Too many good times in those cars. Keep my baby safe. No, not the Vantage, Aro; my new baby. You keep her safe. You keep her away.

Let me make it fucking clear that I'm not running; I'm no fucking coward. I'm a Cullen and a Masen and damn it - if my mother never got me into so much shit, I would be fine. I could be with Bella but that would just be too fucking perfect for my already jaded life, wouldn't it. Apparently it was the will of some "supreme being" that it wasn't in my cards to be happy. I didn't deserve happiness.

After what I did to Bella, that much was true--I didn't fucking deserve to be happy.

I wasn't running from the Volturi. If they wanted me they could take me. I was running from Bella. I couldn't keep her out of my life -- this was the only way.

Not only did I willingly leave the love of my life, Bella Swan, in Forks broken hearted, I also left my friends. I wouldn't see Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, or Renesmee for a long, long time.

Years, likely.

Why did this all happen? What the fuck is this "big secret" that destroyed my life?

It wasn't fucking fair. But life isn't fair. Life is everything but fair. My life before Bella was mundane but good. Fucked around lots, got high, drunk, laid, paid. Living it up, just me and my friends. Shenanigans all day long. Parties every night. When Bella came, it was that plus so much more. Life was good. Happy. Interesting. She was a challenge that girl, she really led me on. I never wanted a woman so bad in my entire life.

As I said, life is everything but fair.

Start from the top, where all the shit went down.

My mother, wherever the hell she may be now, was an incredible businesswoman when she ran William C. Masen & Co. She led the organization and brought it to its peak before I was born. By the time I was born she had already made the company a multi-billion dollar enterprise; continuing the legacy of her father – my grandfather, William C. Masen.

My mom was well respected, powerful, beautiful, and most important she well-liked by everyone, which was a difficult feat in the cut-throat business she ran. At one point she was doing the majority of the luxury and commercial real-estate in the country as well as Europe, plus she had side-businesses – these were her "passions" that owning Masen & Co. enabled her to pursue. She ran many charities, owned and fully funded hospitals, and all this other stuff that I could be very proud of till she fucked my life over and ruined everything I ever lived for.

But it was only a few months ago that I was told about the deal my mother made that ended her existence as I knew it.

Before then it was always, "don't get too attached to women Edward or what happened to your mother will happen to you." I never got what that meant but I figured it was wise advice.

About the time of my birth she signed on to make a deal with this Volturi organization; they were a powerful Italian mob that reigned in Volturra in Italy. They also ran most of Italy. They eventually made their way to NYC and made a business proposition to my mother. She thought it out long and hard and accepted the deal.

I don't know the specifics of the deal and few people actually do. From what I'm told, she apparently got greedy and decided that by immersing herself in this "mob" culture, she could gain more power and make even more money than she had already made.

When my mother came to her senses, realizing the Volturi deal was sure to turn the life she lived into a life of crime, murder, extortion, money laundering, drug dealing, and all sorts of corruption, eventually destroying NYC, she told them she wanted out.

So as you can guess, the Volturi didn't so much do business like those who respected the law. They had their own culture and legal system and my mother soon realized she made a terrible, terrible mistake. She threatened to expose who they were to everyone and that was the worst thing my dear mother could have done.

She panicked.

They panicked even more.

One night they broke into her Manhattan penthouse and tied her up, gagged her and did terrible, unspeakable things to her until she agreed to continue with the deal.

But my mom wasn't happy with the deal, even after all these threats. She thought she could outsmart them. One day, when she and I were spending the day together, she took me into a restaurant that these guys "coincidentally" owned.

She went over to the big cheese's table and tried to gun him down in plain sight. I think at this point my mom's mental state was being compromised because who the fuck takes on a mobster in his own lair? That shit's just crazy.

My mother had very bad aim, and it didn't help that Mr. Volturi was dining with his fourteen year old son at the time. The boy panicked, jumped in front of his father, and took the bullet square in the chest, killing him instantly.

I didn't see any of this; my mom grabbed me, pulled me outside and into a cab and onto a plane back to Washington. She told me there was an accident in the restaurant. She then proceeded to dump me on the doorstep of our Forks home and left to never be seen again.

I thought my mom was just being a paranoid bitch. Since she told me she didn't want me anymore, I figured it was best to just forget about her. My parents then became officially divorced and I never spoke to my mom again; she was never found.

From what I'm told, this Volturi family told my mother they were going to kill her and then me, and they would make damn sure of it. The only trace they had to my mother was her penthouse in NYC; they didn't know my last name so had no lead on me.

I was safe back at home with Carlisle. Alice's father wasn't. He took on Carlisle's last name and kept Alice a Brandon just in case the Cullen link was compromised. He legally became a brother of Carlisle's with the work of our legal genius J. Jenks, who managed to fabricate a very compelling story as to why they were all changing up their identities. J. Jenks kept Forks oblivious as to all the false identities that were milling around the place for their own damn good.

Just a few months ago, I started getting threats from these Volturi people. At first I thought it was some kind of sick joke. But then I realized the only people who knew of this past were my family and they wouldn't pull shit like that.

They sent me lots of letters but eventually became more aggressive, sending me anthrax in the mail, once actually planting a small explosive in our mailbox which made one hell of a mess. All that shit was inconvenient as fuck but I didn't really care. I mean, sure, they'd send someone to kill me, but what the hell, man. I was protected and I could fight them off, or so I thought.

Then they sent me a particularly sick and twisted letter saying that when I had a girlfriend they would kidnap her, torture her, and they would all gang rape her. This made me fucking sick to my stomach and I literally was fucked out of my mind and overdosed to shit.

But I was still skeptical about the power of these Volturi. It wasn't worth leaving Bella for. Not yet. If she could hold on, then I could hold on. I had to be as strong as Bella, for her sake. She was safe with me.

I researched these guys. When I realized their power I was starting to fear Bella's safety. At first I thought it was an irrational fear. I thought I could protect her; I wanted to. But then I kept digging.

They were the most prominent crime family in history; they came from Italy and managed to keep their identity hidden forever and were never once convicted of a crime.

They were The Godfather. They were Scarface. They were Godfellas. They were all those things put together, combined, and made into a super mob. But to make things worse, they were REAL.

So at first I was fucking pissed at my bitch mother. What the fuck was her business getting me all fucked up for the rest of my life; my resentment toward women for her leaving and then now finding out the cause of her leaving which is a million times worse than just resenting women. Now every woman in my arms was threatened with her life for being with me. Having actually fallen in love for the first time, that shit was devastating.

Edward Cullen was deadly.

I couldn't stay in Forks knowing that these guys knew where I was. It was only time until they found Bella and did similar terrible, unspeakable things to her.

I always knew I was bad for her, but FUCK – I never thought it would come down to her risking her life by being with me.

Bella couldn't know anything. The more she knew the more she'd try to help.

She needed to forget me.

She couldn't forget me.

She needed it to seem like I never even met her.

She needed it to be like I never existed.

I left her in the arms of Jasper, again. He brought her back to life in the summer after her mom died while I was out gallivanting doing my fucks across Europe tour. He could do it again.

I fucking resented that shit. I debated and debated and tried everything. I would have sacrificed myself for Bella in a heartbeat but the Volturi didn't want that. They made it clear they were out for blood, but not my blood. Getting my blood wouldn't teach me a lesson and physical torture would sort of help that goal but that shit wasn't to go down till after I experienced as much emotional torture I could handle, and that was best achieved by taking Bella and .... well, it was not hard to guess what they'd do.

Bella needed a good life and a good guy and she had a future. She didn't need me and my fucked up shit in her life.

I told Jasper to get rid of everything that would remind her that I ever existed. My name can't be fuckin spoken.

"You're a good friend, Jasper; a real hero. Take good care of my Bella. Remember she likes chai tea lattes from Starbucks. They smell horrid and taste like ass but she likes them. They will make your fucking eyes water. But make sure you buy her those; she'll love that shit.

"Make her feel like a million bucks and let her know she's prettier than Renesmee, try and make up for the fact that she thinks I fucked the broad. She's got that eating away at her and you need to mend her self-esteem. If I could be around I would tell her she was the prettiest girl alive and I'd tell her that every fucking day. Hell, every hour on the hour. I'd treat her like a princess. She's the essence of beauty and is rare as they ever come. Tell her that, every day. Write that shit down if you have to.

"Tell her you like the way her nose peaks at the end; kiss her lots on the peak of her nose. She likes her neck nibbled. She has wretched taste in movies but watch them all the same. Beware if there's ever a 1980s film marathon. You'll be locked in the house for days watching that shit. But do it. Do it for her, do it for me. Do it for yourself. You have to make her happy. Don't let her call me. You can call me, text me, email me. Remember I'm in St Tropez, not the fucking other side of the world. I've got all the latest gear set up there. Everything's good to go. If there's an emergency, call me.

"Don't let her out of your sight for a few days. The Volturi don't know about her but they will if she keeps wallowing. I've made it known to them that I've left. They think they've won. They think I ran just like my mother. Oh, and be good, man. Be good to Alice. You're the yin to her yang, and in time you'll see that. I'd be honoured to have you with my cousin. Tell Emmett to be good to my Rose. Be good to my Bella. She's your Bella now."

Bella's confrontation was a little harder to take. I knew it was coming. I had to talk to her just once before I cut her off completely.

I had to do it for my sake; I had to hear her voice one more time.

But more important, I needed to do it for hers.

She needed to know I was serious; I wasn't ever going to be in her life again.

"You're not good enough for me, Bella."

The words stung but her reaction I will never forget.

"This is the last fucking time you'll hear from me," I told her, struggling to keep my voice strong. Trying to hold back the agony strained my voice. "I won't ever come back. I don't want to see you ever again. I'm going to treat my entire time with you as if it never happened. You didn't exist."

I didn't even get to say goodbye.

I wouldn't ever see her again.

I had to make sure of it.

I dropped my offer at Harvard.

I thought about it long and hard. Harvard was Bella's dream. If I went there, she would see me. Even if she didn't want me anymore, I would want her. I would always want her. And there was even a slight possibility that she could still want me. My being there was going to hurt her. She needed Harvard; the scholarship; hell she would have a good life without me and I'd fucking make sure of it.

I accepted Dartmouth instead. I'd start fresh. I'd never return to Forks as long as Bella was there. I'd return after, once she was fully over me and I was out of her life.

That could take years, but Jasper would keep me informed. He would take care of everyone.

I wish I could go back to before I met Bella Swan; it can't be worse than knowing that she's there but I can't have her.

Having never met her ,I wouldn't know for the rest of my life what I was missing out on.

Having never met her, I wouldn't have broken her heart.

**A/N: Yep, so there you have it. **

**-**

**Leon: HEY PERVS! Grey-eyed-blonde is the most fucking genius woman in the world with her plotting abilities. Give it up to her. I damn love this woman. This is the shit and you know it--it damn well makes perfect sense, it's written hella good, AND we get sweet and sullen Cullen all at once! Swescullen! Eh… we'll work on the nickname later.**

**Review now, our peeps, and we will keep writing this wonderful story for your amusement. Sorry I can't reply to your reviews for my chapters, we're working on a solution for that now.**

**As always: review, visit Leon McFrenchington's profile and website, and sleep well with thoughts of Edward Cullen on your mind.**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Hello my lovely readers! I hope you like this chapter. Many thanks for all your reviews – they rock! Thank you Leon for everything, my awesome beta & co-writer. **

**Disclaimer: We own many things--Twilight is not amongst them.**

_Five days in St Tropez… and counting…_

I open my eyes and roll onto my back. Waves are crashing onto my bare feet and the sand is hot.

Sun. The sun blinds my eyes. Heat. Humid. Gentle breeze. But mostly sun.

I rub my eyes, only to get more sand into them. Fucking beach. And that goddamn sun.

The reflection off the ocean severely increases the effect. It's like I'm the ant squirming on the ground and the sun is towering over me, taunting me with its magnifying glass.

I spit out a mouthful of sand. Bottle of rum to the left, two chicks to the right.

What the fuck? Two chicks to the right?

I can't see their faces, they're planted in the sand, but they are wearing bikinis. One has wavy golden hair; it's blanketing her face and back, one has pin-straight glossy raven hair. Both have impeccable bodies, both have glistening tanned skin.

Fuck's sake Cullen.

The blonde rolls over; her reaction is similar to mine. She coughs out sand, squints and curses at the sun, and starts mumbling in some foreign language. It takes me a few minutes to figure out what she's saying.

"Merde. Que'est-ce que j'ai fait heir soir?"

Ah, French. Of course.

I open my mouth to speak and I taste the stale booze and cigarettes in my mouth. Gross.

"Ouais, vraiment merde. Salut; je m'appelle Edward," I reply dryly, and I wonder why the fuck I'm starting with formalities now. I glance over at her, squinting my eyes to try and take in her face. I hold out my hand and she shakes it skeptically.

Oh baby, believe me, if you're waking up on the beach beside me there's nothing to be skeptical about now. _How do you say that shit in French? _

She gives me a puzzled look and then shakes my hand; she's beautiful but what the fuck do I care?

"Gigi," she replies in a thick French accent. Normally that would've got me going, you know how I love foreign chicks (well I used to love them at least, and for the sole reason that they wouldn't know enough of my language to converse with me... what a bonus) but not today. Today is a miserable fucking day.

Just as we're getting acquainted the other chick starts rolling around beside us. I'll have to admit the three of us looked pretty damn cozy lying on the shore together. At least we're all fully clothed, right? I use all my strength to raise my head slowly and cautiously so as not to vomit. A tidal wave of nausea hits me but it passes shortly after. Hell I better not throw up today. Rum usually doesn't give me a hangover. Fuck, I usually don't drink rum so what the fuck do I know? I look down and I'm wearing a pair of swim shorts. They're red and have white Hawaiian flowers patterned on them. Festive. Fully clothed; check.

"Ciò è terribile, dove sono io?" the tanned dark haired one pipes up. What the hell is that? Spanish?

"Español?" I guess, not really giving a shit.

She shook her head and propped herself up on her elbows, dusting the sand out of her hair with her hands. "Italiano," she replied in a rough voice.

"Well ladies, I'm sure I thoroughly enjoyed our multilingual threesome but it's about time I get going;" I didn't have a hope in hell they'd understand me so I sat up in a slow, calm pace so as to not induce the nausea, and motioned toward the hills.

"Mia casa," I said to the Italian, gesturing at the house; "Ma maison," I said to the blonde.

They nodded their heads, indicating coherence. I flashed them a smile and headed off to climb the motherfucking hill up to my villa and just as I thought I had made a quick escape the blonde piped up again.

"Em, Edouard?" the blonde said seductively and damnit, why the fuck did french girls always sound so goddamn seductive?

I turned around to look at her; her skin was glistening in the sun and was a perfect bronze but I didn't fucking care. Fuck that. Fuck girls. Fuck fucking girls too, for that matter. No more chicks in my life. I'm onto bromance and ho-mance. My bros for the partying and ho's for the fucking. No, fuck that. I don't need fucking. I'm be a monk.

And if blondie didn't look like Gisele Bündchen (except hotter, and not so old looking) and the brunette didn't so strongly resemble Adriana Lima (except hotter, and not so skanky looking) I'd have actually believed I didn't fuck them. But I couldn't give myself that much credit. I was grieving after all. And who in their right fucking mind could give up a (better than) Victoria's Secret threesome?

"Yeah?" I replied.

"Emm, nous n'avons pas fait..." she trailed off, and that was clear enough for me to understand.

"N'avons pas fait...?" I repeated, wondering if she was certain.

She nodded her head firmly. "Et Julietta n'a pas fait non aussi," she said pointed to the Adriana Lima chick. "Nous sommes des... des amoureux;" she held her hands over her heart trying to explain something to me. It looked like they were trying to say love.

_Love? _

"No, no you don't love me," I protested quickly. Oh fuck, what did these girls think? Did I fucking propose to them or some shit in the height of my drunkenness?

"Non, non, non, vous etes un garcon fou," she said, giggling girlishly at my response. I raised my eyebrow; what the fuck was she onto?

"Idiote," the Italian one spat out, gesturing furiously, then walking over to the blonde one. Oh god, they better not start fighting over me. It looked as if the Italian was going over to the blonde to confront her and have a crazy bilingual fight. Really girls, I wasn't worth it. Also, there would be hair pulling and ripping off clothes and that shit would just piss me off because I wouldn't be able to fully appreciate it in my wallowing state.

But was I ever wrong about the fight.

The blonde and Italian began kissing – very passionately – and then turned back to me.

Did I mention how passionate that was? Holy fuck. It was like tongue action to the max.

"You sees?" the French one said, struggling to find the right words. "We is in _love_."

Mama sita.

Well then in that case come to my place for breakfast. Hell, come and move in for all I care. I could use the extra company. Brush up on my Italian and French. Literally.

"Vous, uh, hungry?" I was sick of trying to speak three different languages, so I guess my Franglais would have to suffice. We were in fuckin' France after all; I couldn't very well be expected to speak French to one chick and Italian to another.

The two girls looked at each other and deliberated, and I swear to god I had only the best intentions in inviting them over. Seriously. In my current state there was no way I'd be able to even fucking jerk off I was so down in the dumps, and having two young, beautiful lesbian women in my villa was only for their hospitality and my company.

Wow Cullen. What the fuck has happened.

I led the two girls up the hill and through the foliage to my "paradise" on the Riviera. When my ancestors bought up this place and made it their little secret hideaway I doubt they intended for it to be a location of wallowing and self-loathing. I bet they intended it to be an escape from the real world. When the going gets tough, the Masens get going... to St Tropez. I'm actually surprised mother dearest wasn't holidaying her life away in good ol' St Tropez. This would have struck me as her ideal destination, where she could have some exotic young pool boy dote on her every need, indulge her every whim, and eagerly refill her martini glass. Mind you, the prospect of her floating around the Mediterranean on a yacht with said pool boy seemed equally plausible.

The two Chiquitas chatted happily back and forth with one another; I decided I'd get to know them some other time. After the long trek up the hill, then up the stairs and then finally up the patio and into the villa, I showed them the kitchen and told them to make whatever the hell they wanted. They seemed overly impressed with my place; I didn't know how much it cost my family and we've had it forever, but I knew it was pretty impressive, especially since the interior had recently been redone. Thank god for our weekly cleaners or else this place would've gotten run down.

They took it upon themselves to tour the place; I heard "oohs" and other such reactions as they wandered around.

"Bello, molto Bello!" the Italian chick kept exclaiming as she took in the house room by room and all I could think about was Bella. Bella, beautiful Bella.

Fuck I need a nap. I need to clear my fucking head. I came here to get away from Bella, but everywhere I looked, everything I saw reminded me of her. It was pathetic. It was like I was reliving a pathetic boy-band break up song. Literally reliving it.

I prayed to god those chicks weren't some sort of lesbian ex-convict con artists or bandita gypsies that would rob me blind, and with that, stripped down and crashed on my huge white bed.

I awoke from my peaceful slumber (judging by my massive and uncomfortably stiff hard-on I was definitely dreaming of Bella) by the annoying sound of my vibrating cell phone. Fuck's sake. If I couldn't fuck her in real life then _couldn__'__t they fucking let me fuck her in my dreams damnit!?_

"What?!" I snapped before I even looked at the name.

"Um, Edward, can we please just -" Bella. Fuck.

"I SAID DON'T FUCKING CALL ME!!" I barked into the phone and slammed it shut.

I flinched at the tone of my voice. I was too fucking harsh. I could have been nicer. I took a deep breath, it fucking hurt. I was heaving. What the fuck.

I could have been nicer.

No, I couldn't have. She needs to stay away.

I shook my head in disgust of my actions. I needed some sort of chastisement for my actions. I couldn't live with myself being such a fucking douchebag. In the past it was my main occupation but with Bella, with the love of my goddamn life, I couldn't bear it. The thought of her crying now after I yelled at her was enough to make me want to curl up in a ball and disappear.

Chastisement like a fucking whip or something. Like those fucking monks do. Fuck I'm a maschochistical motherfucker.

I fell back down into my pile of sheets and wallowed. All this wallowing was probably bad for my health or some shit. It couldn't be good. Maybe I'd go for a run today. Fuck running. Sit ups, push ups. Lots of those.

Fuck. When I moved to France I never thought I'd be bored out of my fucking mind after only being here for five fucking days.

Drinking and getting shitfaced every night and lying in the sun all day nursing my hangovers were a bad accompaniment to my wallowing.

And I was being a miserable fuck. Hearing Bella's voice was the highlight of my whole day but even that couldn't raise my spirits. It only reminded me of what I was missing.

No. I heard Bella's voice for the last time. I would savour that now.

I needed to go find some chronic and powder. I needed to get fucked up and lie in the sun and compose poetry or some shit. Maybe I'd write some really angst-filled compositions for my piano. I needed a piano in this place.

I'll do that when I have the energy and will to get out of bed. Until then, I'm calling for some reinforcements.

I grabbed my phone off the bedside table and called Carlisle, hoping he wasn't dicking around or something. I needed his full attention.

"Carlisle Cullen," he answered on the third ring.

Definitely dicking around.

"Hey, it's me. I'm fucking lonely as shit here," I started, not sure why the fuck I felt the need to call my father – the prick that wasn't much of a father to me at all, but seemed like the right person to talk to right now.

"You are?" he asked, slightly confused. "Isn't it hopping there this time of year?"

He raised a good point. Normally the fact that I was "stranded" in a vacation paradise, on my family's multi-_multi_-million dollar villa on the French Riviera with its own private entry to the beach where tons of supermodels, actresses, and other such celebs sunbathed regularly would have been a dream come true. Today, it was fucking brutal as hell.

"Yah, yah, it's busy and all. I just need some help here. Like maids and shit. I need a live in servant or something. You know, someone to cook and crap. I can't be expected to cook for myself now can I?"

"Ah, yes, yes I see," Carlisle said. "I'll get Aro to call some people. It'll get sorted out. Is there anything else? Why don't you send for Jasper and Emmett to visit? I'm sure they'd be more than happy to."

Father dearest was being oh-so-accommodating. But I really didn't care about me. I didn't care if I was lonely or bored, or that I didn't have anyone to cook for me. I was only worried about one thing.

"How is Bella?"

He paused and took in a deep breath. "Not well. Not well at all. Her aunt is terribly worried –"

"Wait, what? What do you mean not well? What happened? Did she get hurt?" I was frantic. I was fucking stuck here in St Tropez hiding out from Bella and she was fucking injured. Typical. I knew she couldn't take care of herself. I needed to be there. This fucking angered me too, knowing that I couldn't fucking leave Jasper or someone in charge of taking care of her. Nobody would do the job right.

"Oh, no, nothing like _that_," Carlisle said quickly, trying to reassure me. "It's actually more about her... her _psychological_ state, I suppose you would say. Psychologically-speaking, she's a little, well, distraught. She's going to need awhile to get over what you've done to her."

Those last words hit me like a spear through my heart.

What I've done. What I've done is fucking protect her. I knew it was hurting her but she needed to fucking know this was for her own good. And one day she would. But not now. I was still the fucker that hurt her.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and bit the bullet. Fuck, this was a lot harder than I thought it would be. "Tell Esme to let Jasper stay with her." I muttered while clenching my jaw, fully resenting what I'd come to say. "Let him comfort her. Or Jake."

"Jacob Black?" Carlisle asked skeptically. "Is he really the best person for her?"

"Carlisle, trust me on this one. She needs them. Jake is a good kid when it comes down to it. A smug little fucker but he's going to do her well. Preferably Jasper. I think Jasper really loves her; he'll have her best interests in mind. Please make sure she gets better. I don't know how long I'll be able to stay away if I hear she's not recovering."

"I'll keep in touch with Esme. We talk often enough anyway," he said; I could tell by the way his voice sounded he was fucking grinning like an idiot. "At work, I mean. Strictly professionally speaking," he added quickly.

Sure, sure, Carlisle.

"Not um, on an unnecessary basis," he continued, grunting and muttering to try and convince himself of something.

"Whatever," I dismissed his ramblings. "You might have to make it more frequent. She needs to ..."

"I will try my hardest, you have my word. How are you doing though, aside from the maid situation? And by maid, do you mean an attractive twenty something French maid with a frilly uniform and feather duster? Or do you mean an actual maid?" he said, clearly trying to lighten the mood. It wasn't working.

"Nah, I mean a _maid_ maid. Who can cook," I asserted. "And I'm doing fine. Don't worry about me, worry about Bella. I have two European lesbians camping out with me for awhile so I'm sure I'll be plenty entertained. They probably have some good stories to share." As suggestive as that sounded, I didn't intend it to be at all; I was being honest. I'm sure they're well-travelled and probably knew more about France than I do so they'd make for good company. Maybe they could even cook.

Carlisle chuckled, typical of his dirty mind, and I shook the thought of what he would do in the company of Julietta and Gigi out of my head fervidly.

"Sounds like you'll manage just fine then," he concluded.

Yeppers. Just fan-fuckin-tastic.

"Yah I'll be fine," I agreed. "Please keep an eye on Bella."

Carlisle agreed to see to it that Bella would be safe, offered me some words of wisdom about keeping it wrapped while playing with the lesbians – and I scolded him for having such a dirty mind and told him to go out on a real date already; date a real woman who could make him rethink his stance on women. Like Esme. But Esme was too good for Carlisle in my opinion; she was a classy chick. Intelligent as fuck too. Almost too much so. But hell, I had a different point of view on that now. I almost liked the fact that Bella was a rival of mine for the scholarship; I liked knowing that she was able to hold her own. Especially now that I was gone. So hell, if Esme was smart as hell, more power to her. Too bad her daughter didn't inherit too much of that intellect.

I grabbed a pair of swim shorts and threw a t-shirt over my shoulder and looked around for the twins.

Alright, alright, they weren't exactly _twins_. But it was always a fantasy of mine, and for fuck's sake, while I'm out here loathing I might as well pretend I'm having fun. Plus it felt unfamiliarly degrading to refer to them as the "lesbians" because in my mind, lesbians were god's gift to Edward Cullen. Not an expression of sexuality. So, since these chicks were apparently in a monogamous relationship with one another, I respected that -- therefore in my mind, they were "twins."

"Julietta? Gigi?" I called out to them, walking through the halls. I smelled some sweet home cooking – albeit something unfamiliar that I had likely never tried, and found the twins cooking away in our fully equipped kitchen wearing nothing but aprons with their bikinis underneath. Oh I loved Europeans; they were so much more liberal about showing off their bodies. I tossed my t-shirt out of the way and decided it'd be rude if I didn't partake in their liberation.

"Bonjour Chiquitas," I greeted them, taking a seat at the rustic looking kitchen table. "Qu'est-ce que vous cooking?" I asked, giving up on the French already. I don't fuckin care how much Carlisle paid for me to get fluent in every European language; it was too much fuckin effort.

"Um... how do you say, um... bouillabaisse?" the blonde one asked, serving me a heaping bowl of the seafood concoction.

"Ah, yeah," I said, taking in a spoonful. "Tres bien. Very good." I wondered where the fuck they managed to find the crab, lobster, shrimp, mussels, scallops and other seafood assortments they threw together to make this stew thing. It was fucking good though.

They began giggling and swatting each other with various kitchen utensils and bickering back and forth, throwing my name in randomly.

I yawned obnoxiously – more agitated with my own reaction than anything else – and rested my head on the table.

I can't believe I'm not into these feisty lesbians cooking half naked in my kitchen. Jesus Christ.

"Eduardo" Julietta began, sitting down beside me, licking a bit of soup off a wooden spoon. "You is... very sad, no? Very lonely ici?" she tousled my hair with her hands which felt amazing. I'll admit, the company was a nice change from the desolation I was used to the last few days.

"Yes, very sad, very grumpy, very suicidal," I replied dryly. Very fucking depressed.

Gigi's eyes widened at the word suicidal and she hurried over to the table. "No Monsieur! C'est tres tres terrible! Pas de suicide!" she exclaimed, evidently concerned about my wellbeing.

"Uh, it was a joke," I muttered. "Ha, ha, ha?" I explained, trying to let her know I wasn't losing it.

I didn't know how much these chicks understood but their counsel was better than anything else right now.

I cracked a bottle of white and poured each of us a glass, while the twins whispered expressions of affection and adoration into each other's ears. This puppy love was bound to end sooner or later, right? Even if they were hot lesbians, I wasn't sure how much more of the overt lovey-dovey crap I could handle.

Yes, ok, I know. I'm fucking bitter. Get fucking used to it.

"How long have you, uh, Julietta et Gigi," I pointed to each of them, then clasped my hands together to signify togetherness, "amore?"

They shook their head rigorously in comprehension. "It is been five months," Gigi replied. "We go to the universities together; pour exchange. We study here in St Tropez. Archaeology," she affirmed.

What the fuck?

"Archaeology?" I raised my eyebrow. These two hot lesbians were in St Tropez studying archaeology?

"Oui, oui Eduardo," Julietta confirmed. "And models, too."

This was confusing. They made models? Of like dinosaurs and shit? For archaeology?

I shook my head; "Whatever," I replied. To each their own...

"We is model for fashion magazines, to pay for schooling," Gigi explained.

That made more sense. So I'm staying with two European lesbian supermodels who are studying archaeology in St Tropez for the term. Wonderful. I'm sure Emmett and Jasper would believe _that_ in a million years.

Although these women were two of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen, it did absolutely nothing for me. I was seriously, seriously wallowing.

After about a half hour conversation with the twins (most of which was me attempting to explain "cocaine" and "marijuana" to them) I headed off to the local St Tropez dealer, who'd likely charge me an arm and a leg and a half for the damn stuff.

I didn't have a car, but you didn't need one around this place; everything was in walking distance. But fuck, I was in another fucking mind trap. Walking meant thinking, thinking meant Bella, Bella meant sad shitty thoughts right now.

My every single goddamn thought was absorbed by Bella.

Bella fucking Swan.

Her smile, her eyes, her blush, her taste, her laugh, her voice, her smell. Everything about her, I missed.

Her body; that hot fucking body.

Those boy shorts. The leather biker boots and scandalous vests she wore that wouldn't fit a Barbie doll.

But not just the badass I-wanna-get-in-your-pants Bella. Also the bashful, clumsy, fidgety, slightly insecure Bella that I'd come to know and love. The one I fell in love with after the saucy sex bomb Bella caught my attention the first fuckin day I laid eyes on her.

In addition to my every thought about Bella, I was thankful that Renesmee corroborated my plan. It was cruel and uncalled for but it had to be done, and she was there to help me. She would help me, then help Bella, and eventually help herself somehow. She wouldn't take money or any material things, the damn tree-hugger; but she did it for some reason; and of that reason, I was unaware.

Renesmee. What a random, random girl. Blows in from Boston, I know her for five minutes, I tell her my life story and she hops on board to help me. No questions asked. She assured me she wanted to do this, save Bella, cure cancer, save the whales, manage world peace. Plant a thousand trees. I dunno. She didn't actually say that, but close enough. She basically said she felt a connection to Bella and would be honoured to help me keep her safe.

Hah, "safe."

Every time the word "safe" entered my mind, Bella crossed my every thought. Was she ok? Was the dirty Volturi fucker onto her? Were they all onto her? Did they know my plan all along? Did they have an "in" at Forks? Did they figure me out?

But I realized I was being a paranoid fucker.

Can't live like that. I'll text Jasper and Emmett every fucking day, and they'll tell me how Bella is, every fucking day. That's how I'll live.

For now, a fresh line of blow will have to do the trick, and I'll wallow on the beach with a beer in my hand and the twins by my side.

**Leon McFrenchington:** This chapter had me 'lol'ing. Grey is such a funny writer, and she doesn't even try. I don't think any of you realize that Edward hasn't had sex this entire fic--well, other than that little number he did for Bella back in chapter 9. Alright, peeps, you know the drill. Review, visit the website, visit my profile, and again: REVIEW.


	27. Chapter 27

**Leon:** Alright, some Wallow Bella. Don't worry, I'll find a way to make her Swallow Bella soon enough. I know that's what all you perverts are waiting for… don't worry, it's coming. Literally.

**Disclaimer**: There was once a man from Nantucket. Like us, he didn't own Twilight either.

**Chapter 27**

_BPOV_

My foot pressing down on the pedal, the car whisked past the houses and to the forest bordering Forks. I didn't know where I was going, but I didn't care.

How could he say those things? I understood that we had only been seeing each other for a while… but all that development to get to where we were, all the shit we put up with from others to be together, all those emotions we… or, at least, _I _felt…

I had left the city limits, entering the broad thick of the forest. After a few more miles of driving, the car began to sputter and shift. I glared at it, looking at the gas meter.

"Shit!" I screamed when I noticed that it read 'E.' "What the fuck! Are you fucking kidding me!?"

I pulled off to the side of the road slowly and rode it out until the car completely stopped, the gas pedal no longer revving the engine.

I flung the door open and jumped out of the car. Turning to glare at it, I started kicking the tires.

"Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!"

I knew I shouldn't care--there was no reason for any of this to affect me, especially to this degree. But I couldn't help it. I felt so… empty. Empty with Edward. When I was around him, no matter what jealousy I was feeling when other girls looked at him or how upset he could make me without meaning to, it felt so _right_. Like I belonged next to him, next to his side, under his arm, snuggling against his chest, kissing his lips.

It was the first time I felt at home in Forks.

Deciding that the car had received enough punishment, and that my foot was too sore to continue kicking, I slumped down onto the floor and rested my head in my hands, not bothering to stop crying. I didn't want to stop crying.

After what seemed like hours, I threw my head back and settled on letting the light drizzle that began wash away my tears.

I groaned as I the water soaked through my clothing, the chills now creating goose bumps on my skin. I slowly lifted myself, my legs weak and wobbly. I stumbled over to the trees, trying to find some protection from the weather.

I reached the forest line and entered, the trees shading me from the onslaught the drizzle had transformed into.

"Ugh," I muttered as I continued to walk deeper into the woods. Who cared if I didn't know my way around? If I couldn't make it back? I fucking hated Forks and everything that it stood for, and everything it reminded me of.

I continued on the path for some time before coming to a dead end. The trees were all green, too green. Green like the rims around his golden eyes.

Gold, like the sun that made its way through as the clouds disappeared and the rain stopped.

The earthy smell around me, the jungle scent, that was so associated with Edward's sweet musk.

The firm floor beneath me, like his solid body holding mine, supporting mine, loving mine.

The intricate designs of the flowers, as if mimicking his complex mind--an enigma of brilliance and stupidity.

I leaned against a tree with a low branch and draped my arm over it for support.

"Just… what the fuck…" I whispered to the air, beseeching whatever higher life form existed to answer my questions. Why did I feel this way? Why did everything remind me of Edward?

Shouldn't I be hurt? Shouldn't I not care?

He tried to warn me, tried to tell me to leave… but I wouldn't. I didn't want to; I wanted to be near him at all times. Even when we weren't dating, I always found myself wrapped around him. The fights, the teasing, the party… everything involved Edward. Edward was the center of my existence in Forks--everything was done around him, caused by him, someway influenced by his little, shit-brained mind.

The asshole.

Sighing, I stood and began to walk again, trying to find my way out of this hellhole. Maybe I'd go somewhere, anywhere. I had dreams, I was smart. I could make my way anywhere. I just had to finish high school and I would be out of here. I would put all this behind me--these last few weeks, months, of total crap. I hated it all.

Until I reached it.

It was the most beautiful I had ever seen… after Edward. He was still the picture of perfection in my mind.

But this… this was a close second.

The trees parted in front of me, leading to a lush meadow. The rain had stopped and the entire field was glistening, sparkling, the sun's rays hitting the residue rain.

"Oh my…" I trailed off as I stepped into the meadow, taking in the intoxicating scent. The flowers were all bright, stunning, alluring. I walked into the middle of the meadow and began to look around, the sight brilliant and beautiful.

The trickling sounds of a small water fall and steam added to the effect, the pitter-patter of rain-drops falling off the leaves creating a melody of splendor.

And then it really clicked.

And I fell to the floor.

I was alone. Even with this beauty, even with my friends, even with my grades… I was alone. And I didn't care who else there was… Jasper was a brother. Jacob was a friend. Rose was a confidant. Alice was a protector. Nessie was an equal.

But even with them…

I still wanted Edward. Because, without him, I felt empty. Broken. Hurt. And, in the end, I knew I still loved him.

--

_Ring… ring… ring…_

"Hello?"

"Edward?"

"Stop calling me!"

_Click…_

_Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep…_

_Ring… ring… ring…_

"What the fuck? I said stop calling me!"

_Click…_

--

It had been 5 days since I last spoke to Edward. I didn't really speak to him--instead, he just yelled at me over the phone. And even while he yelled, I accepted it, just to hear his voice. I called him often, if only to listen to the message, to spark the memories of spending the night in his bed where he wrapped his arms protectively around me and didn't force me to do anything.

No. He held me. He held me and did nothing else.

He loved me. I knew he did.

But he told me he didn't… and that I wasn't good enough for him. That I was no one to him.

Even if he was my everything.

My mind had been so clouded, so disorientated. Before coming to Forks, I had done things… I had friends, boyfriends, lovers… at least, I thought lovers. Until I met Edward.

Even with his comments… with his stuck-up attitude, his player ways, his cockiness… he was different.

The charge of electricity when we first touched. My natural tendency to blush increasing tenfold just by sitting next to him. The butterflies in my stomach when I felt him brush against me, when I caught whiff of his smell, when I saw him staring at me with something more than lust in his eyes.

A connection… we had a connection.

It all began as a game, a little battle. I wanted to win against Edward--to show him I was worth something more than him.

Then the dance truly started. The clothing, the flirts, the looks.

The meetings, the touching, the feelings.

And, finally, the more passionate moments.

Holding each other, kissing each other, caring for each other.

But it didn't matter in the end… even if I was sure he was 'The One'… even if I was sure that he didn't truly mean the things he said or did…

_I suppose everything was really just false attraction… nothing more, nothing else._

I sighed as I stood and went to my closet, pulling out a plain white t-shirt and some jeans. I didn't bother showering this morning, or really getting ready at all. There was no one to tease anymore. No one I wanted to tease, or play with, or hold, or kiss.

I just wanted to be left alone.

The days passed like this, slow and lethargic. I sat around, ignoring anyone who tried to talk to me, as I did my work. Edward hadn't come back to school; he didn't need to. His grades were good enough that he could stop showing up for the last two months and still pull of passing grades even if he wasn't paying the teachers.

"Bella? Bella? Hello, Bella?" A hand waving in front of my face cut off my ponderings. I blinked and looked to see Jasper and Alice standing by my desk. Biology, the class I hated the most.

I stared at them as they grabbed my stuff and jammed it all into my backpack for me. Alice held my hand and pulled me along with her until we reached the cafeteria.

"Jazz, why don't you go and take Bella for a ride. I'm going to make some phone calls," she told him sullenly, looking at me with concern. I didn't care. Wherever, whatever.

"Uh.. Sure…"

We walked to his car, getting in and buckling up. Jasper didn't start the car yet; he just looked at me with worried eyes.

"Bella, it's alright. It's better this way."

_Not this again…_

"You know you're better off without him; he was nothing but trouble and he hurt you. He used you, and Nessie, and just left."

_Shut up, Jasper…_

"Come on, Bella, say something," he sparked for what seemed like the thousandth time since my phone call with Edward.

I could feel myself trembling with anger as I glared at him. His eyes widened when he saw my face, and that was all it took.

"Look here, Jasper. Fuck off. You don't get it, alright? Why can't you just fucking accept that I'm pissed and want to act like this, huh? Maybe I don't give a shit, maybe I just want this fucking school year to be over so I can get on with my life. You don't know shit, Jazz, you don't know shit."

I left his car soon after and ran to the bathroom. I just needed to get away for now.

I entered the bathroom and walked to one of the stalls, locking the door behind me. I leaned against the wall and just let myself calm down.

I wasn't going to let him affect me. That was the plan. I was going to be Bella Swan, her own girl. Not Bella Swan, Edward's girl.

Except I still had his necklace. And I wore it. Almost religiously.

I couldn't bring myself to remove it… it was the last thing I had from him. I never went to his place, or spoke to others about him, or anything. I just held onto the necklace, letting it calm me. Letting it remind me of who he used to be, that night he held me in his arms; that night I held him in mine.

"Bella?" Nessie's voice broke through my reverie. I shifted in the stall and knocked on it, letting her knowing she could come in. I unlocked the door and she slid through, closing it behind her.

She was the one person I could talk to. I barely knew her, and yet she was the sister I never had. She was there for me, she understood, and she tried. I couldn't ask for more. I didn't want to hear any bullshit about Edward. I just wanted someone there for me.

Just like he used to be.

With fucking chai lattes. He ruined those for me too.

"Hey Bella," she smiled as she hugged me.

"Hi Nessie," I greeted as I hugged her back, tightly crushing her against me.

"Come on, you're squeezing my boobs," she laughed, and I did too. That was one of the reasons I loved being around her--she would joke about everything, trying to make me feel better.

"You know you love it," I giggled as I stood back and smiled.

"Of course," she rolled her eyes and grinned before turning very serious. "Bella… there's actually something I wanted to talk to you about…"

Oh shit. Serious. I hated serious.

"Uh… yeah?" I asked warily.

"I was wondering…" she trailed off, her eyes once again asking if it was okay. I motioned for her to continue. "… well, I know I've tried really hard not to bring any of this up… but…"

Please don't, Nessie, please don't.

"Do you want to go to New York with me?"

Wait, what?

"Wha?" I asked, my eyebrows raising and my jaw slacking. She giggled and pushed my mouth closed.

"Look, I know you're hurt… and that it's going to take some time to get over him--" Or never. "--but you should really start living life some more. Come on, I want to take your somewhere."

She grabbed my arm before I had a chance to protest and dragged me out back to the parking lot. We reached her car and she shoved me in rather forcibly. When I started to ask her something as she entered the car, she turned the ignition, blasted the radio, and ignored me as she drove out of the school parking lot.

We were driving for a good 10 minutes before I noticed us heading down to La Push. I frowned, wondering why she was taking me to Jake's.

We arrived at his house after another 5 minutes. I got out of the car quickly, wanting to just get this over with. Nessie ran over to my side, smiled, and grabbed my arm again.

Pulling me out to the back, where Jacob's garage was, she stopped me in front of the large, closed doors.

"Are you ready?" she giggled while asking. I shook my head slowly, not sure what to answer.

"I don't know…?" I led off, trying to get some answers.

"Just look!" she yelled, probably signaling that we had arrived. I looked over to the garage and saw the doors open slowly.

Sitting there were three dirtbikes, standing by Jacob, and a smile escaped my lips.

This was going to be fun.

_Edward, eat your heart out. I'm going to start living life, whether you're in it or not._

**Leon: … well? Review and let me know, I had to restart this document because my computer died and then I died. It was written very quickly, but I actually think I like the direction of this new chapter. What do you all think?**

**As always: review, visit our other stories, ask us questions, and check us out on the Twilighted boards. Also, I have a new story on my account called 'On Thin Ice,' co-written by Bronzehairedgirl620. Readers and reviewers more than welcomed.**

**Grey Eyed Blonde: WOW Leon is fucking AMAZING! Loved this chapter. My favourite in the whole story. Review lots and show him some love. 3  
**


	28. Chapter 28

**Grey-eyed-blonde: **Thanks Leon for your awesome beta services and co-writing. Thanks so much for all the reviews and subscriptions and to everyone else reading. Sorry I didn't get a chance to reply to the reviews this time.

**Disclaimer**: There's a saying that goes "We don't own shit." That applies here as well.

**Chapter 28**

_Four weeks later... _

**JPOV**

I was sitting in my room, splayed out on my unbelievably comfy bean bag chair strumming my guitar, trying to figure out how the hell my song went; but, of course I forget it and that shit sucked. I seriously needed to start making guitar tabs.

Bella was supposed to be here… _'but surprise, surprise, she's not_.'

It was four thirty in the fuckin' afternoon; she was two hours late. I texted her, called her, called Esme, called Rose. I thought the whole point of Alice buying her that ridiculous iPhone was so that Bella could be reached at all times after her near-coma experience post-Cullen dump-fest. She probably couldn't figure out how to use the damn thing. I was starting to get really worried.

No. That was a lie.

I was already seriously worried about Bella four weeks ago, when she ditched on our Whistler ski trip to stay at home, get high all day, and write poetry. Normally I was all into that shit, you know, creative expression was a good fuckin' thing. Hell, I even invited her into the art room after class a couple times to try finger painting, and what does she do? She grabs the black paint – the whole friggin jar of it – and splashes it on the canvas. And then she rips up paper, angrily just ripping the shit outta the piece of paper as if it were Cullen's fucking heart, and throws it on top of the wet paint.

Hell, if it were the "old" Bella I was dealing with, I'd have applauded the effort and gave her a gold star. But it wasn't. It was the "new" Bella. I asked her if maybe she'd consider painting something a little more enlightening, you know, something less emo, but all I got out of that was a muttered 'fuck you' and a sneer.

She wasn't taking this easy, in fact she couldn't have been taking things worse. She ditched her quirky self for a different, scary Bella that I hardly recognized. She wouldn't eat, wouldn't carry on a conversation, wouldn't put any effort into anything she did. Skipped class, skipped tests, skipped hanging out with us. Snapped at Alice every day.

And now, she stood me up. I reminded her every day this week that if she was gonna get high every hour on the hour, the least she could do was invite me to join her in the festivities. That was my way of being like, '_Bells, I__'__m fucking worried sick about you, let__'__s hang out, and if it__'__s high you wanna be, I__'__ll be high with you too.'_

But that wasn't good enough. And now I was fuckin' freakin' out. She took it upon herself to go for random walks in the woods at night which was a bad idea around Forks. We had all sorts of drifters off the highway and shit camping out and chillin' in those woods, and I felt like I had to keep a twenty four seven watch on her.

Carlisle advised Esme it'd be a good idea if I stayed with her; kept an eye on her and shit, but she hated that suggestion, saying that we were supervising her or something. Snapped at me for "wanting her" or something and using this as a way of getting closer. Please, Bella. I couldn't have wanted you _less_ right now.

I couldn't text Cullen about Bella being "sad" or else he'd lose a nut and come back here the minute he heard she wasn't doing alright.

Now if I told him she was down-in-the-dumps, ready to take her life, catatonic, wearing black like it's her mother's funeral, not talking to anyone, doing drugs _all the time_... fuck, then I didn't even know what he'd do.

He had to deal what he did though. He had no fucking choice. Of all of Cullen's flaws when it came to his past with women, the last thing I thought that would hurt Bella would be this big motherfucking burden. I thought it'd be easy to get him off of Bella, you know – if the fact that he was a huge womanizer didn't scare her off, or the fact that he fucked teachers and shit, or the fact that he cheated on girls or had two or three girls at a time literally, or had a girl and one on the side, or stole his best friends' girls didn't turn her off him, I thought then at least it'd be the fact that he blatantly said he just wanted to fuck her out of his system and that was it.

But no, no. Oh no. Not Bella. She fell in love with him, and he _let_ her. I told him he shouldn't have gotten close. I told him that shit long ago. And then, since fuckin' Cullen didn't listen to shit people tell him (even when he tells you to tell him; like "hey guy, when I get in a relationship with some chick I care about, tell her to get the hell away from me or else I'll break her heart and worse"), he won't take that shit. So I had to be tactful about it and try and appeal to Bella's sensibility but that fuckin' wasn't operating either. She somehow managed to turn off her smart little brain and fall for the asshole; and I had to sit there, knowing that he'd have to run.

And I had to hold the goddamn burden of knowing that this... this crime family or whatever the shit his mom got herself into was after Edward and then in turn after Bella. It was so fuckin' random too. He'd been getting threats from them for awhile and we looked at them and kinda laughed it off being all like, "we're gonna come get you." But everyone knows you can't fuckin' come close to Cullen's mansion unless you fucking get though the very front of the driveway, buzz in there, then up the longer driveway, then get to the front door, then get let in by Aro who throws twenty questions at you, and if you make it that far, then you have to fucking find your way to one of the hundred or so rooms they have in the fucking place, and since it was built in old times they have all these hidden rooms and trap doors and panic rooms and god knows what else, so if you happen to make it past all that shit, past all the maids and shit, and find the person you're looking for, well then you're too tired to do a damn thing about it anyway.

So yeah, it was basically jokes. Plus, nobody gets into the front gate unless you know the code, and only Cullen and his dad know the code and Aro too _maybe_ – but I doubt Aro has that much access himself even. But lately I'd been thinking, and I swear to god, that Aro is more than just a butler or whatever the hell his formal title is. He's got mad skills. Once I crept up on him in the middle of the night when I snuck into Cullen's place when we were in middle school to get baked on his balcony, he caught me off guard and nearly karate chopped me in half. I was like dude, simmer the fuck down, it's just me, I've got some chron, maybe you need a bit to chillax. I'm pretty sure the Cullens had him trained for protecting them and a lot more shit.

So when Cullen started seeing Bella, then more threats start coming being all like, "when you get a girlfriend we're gonna kill her and rape her and do other shitty things to her." That's when Cullen got fuckin' worried. I never saw the guy like that; he just fuckin' sat there, didn't say shit for days, drank and smoked and did all these stupid ass drugs, and just tried to soak it in, but couldn't. It was like a death sentence.

I seriously thought he coulda somehow distracted them until college, but he didn't seem to think so. He didn't want to take the risk with Bella, and I was all in support of him not taking risks with her. Because, hell, I loved her. That was until Edward left, and I realized how much she loved him. He told me to be a good friend, he fucking gave me permission to fall in love with her and be the one to make her happy again and make her smile and crap, but I didn't want it. Not then. Not ever. She was hurting and yeah, I'd be her friend. And I'd be the best fucking friend I could ever be. But there was no way any guy would ever compare to him in her eyes. And it was just not my place to try and match him.

Thing was, when I wanted her before, I tried to use that "burden" of his against him. I tried to make it seem like he wasn't good for him because of a, b, c and d but _mainly_ because his mom got into the mob dealings and shit and that's why he was a no good for nothing sack of shit. That wasn't cool of me. But he was fuckin' in deep with other shit. He went to Europe one summer, and I had a girlfriend that I met during that time and loved her a lot. She was here for a camp thing. Then when she went home, we did the whole long distance thing because she was from Jacksonville and I was in Forks. So she comes down one weekend in September when school had started again, and I was hanging out in my house; it was all decorated nicely, I'd got the roses laid out on the bed, champagne and romantic shit, I wrote her a song, gonna tell her I love her, gonna give her a really nice ring, and then I get a phone call from Cullen bragging about how he "met" my girlfriend, "took the liberty of getting to know her." That shit stung hard. Turned out he had his own girlfriend at the time too; he was seeing Tanya who never found out about this who affair, but he wouldn't have cared if she did. He was just an insensitive prick.

So now I was left picking up his pieces, and honest to fuck, I didn't know what I was gonna do 'bout Bella.

_She__'__s broken._

And I'd tried, man. I'd tried more than I can. I'd visited her, brought her flowers, cookies, cake, done her homework when she was too lazy to do it so she didn't drop out; I was always helping her out here and there. I even blew off the Whistler trip when she said she wasn't going to go. But I was running out of ideas here.

Plus, with the way things were going with Alice, I didn't want to put her on the backburner because Bella didn't feel like coming back to her old self.

And let me tell you, it fuckin' sucked being the only one knowing the reason he left. Hearing everyone bash my best friend _sucked_. Even though he deserved most of it, they didn't know shit about what was really going on. And I just sat there and couldn't fuckin' defend him worth shit without giving something up.

_He calls and texts me every day to check on Bella. _

How is she? Did she eat enough today? Is she being safe? Does she seem happy? Is she keeping on top of her schoolwork? Is there any chance she'll forget about me sooner than later? Have the Volturi been around? Has anyone suspected anything? Has Alice been too nosey for her own good (to the point where she'd compromise the whole damn plan)? Have you talked to Bella yet today? Why haven't you talked to her yet?

So most days, I felt like a fuckin' stalker. My only consolation was that he gave me the one hundred percent go ahead to start seeing Alice (not that I was waiting for that or anything), despite my being a "second class citizen" in his eyes. And sure, I was no heir or anything like he was. I wasn't American royalty. But I could make damn sure she was treated like the princess she was. My amazing, sexy American heiress.

I drove over to Alice's at five o'clock sharp, 'cause I knew how much she hated it when I was late.

Run up to the door, wait, backtrack; grab a handful of flowers out of Mrs. Brandon's perfectly manicured greenhouse garden, back to the door, knock on the door, deep breath.

She answers the door, smiling widely, and she's dressed to kill. None of this couture crap or high-fashion Vogue stuff I didn't really care for, but more like the grade-nine Alice I fell in love with. She was wearing jeans (not skinny silver coloured jeans or weird neon blue ones that she wears to make a fashion statement, but just regular, plain old jeans... probably still expensive as hell but at least they're a little more normal looking) and a tight white turtleneck that looked soft as hell. Probably cashmere or something luxe, and probably straight out of France too. Who fucking cares though, because it's hugging her body perfectly and let me tell you, that's some smokin body she has. She's got a headband in her hair and her skin's all glowing and soft like it always is, and all I want to do is be with her now, and forever.

"You look, wow. Alice, you look really, really pretty," I mumbled, suddenly losing my cool. _Way to go, Whitlock. Tool._

Of all the times we hung out with the group, just shooting the shit, not even giving a damn, or hell even when we were fucking each other senseless in the art room back in the beginning of the school year, I never got nervous. But now, today, it's all different. It's like I never really met her before; it's like that was some sorta shell, some hard exterior that was impenetrable.

But today, she's like my fantasy Alice come true – the girl in the art room with the big brown eyes that lit up once she held the paintbrush to the canvas, and let her imagination and true, true passion (not the fashion shit, but the deeper passion – the passion for drawing, creating, exploring the canvas) take over her inhibitions. Plus her true compassion and empathy for Bella really shone through now, which was amazing to see because I never saw the really caring side of Alice before. It was incredible, and she was incredible for being so sweet to Bella even though Bella barked at her daily and had a short fuse with _everyone_, but especially Alice.

She smiled widely and I think she even blushed a little. She took my hand with her dainty hand and led me inside, twirling herself around me, graceful as a ballerina.

I took her mid-twirl, wrapped my arm around her lower back, and dove in for a passionate kiss. After our lips parted, I savoured her taste for a minute, nuzzling my nose against her neck, then trailed little kisses from her collarbone up to her neck, and back to her lips once more.

"Mmm, well, hello to you too," she whispered, wrapping her tiny hands around my neck to embrace me for another deep kiss.

Just before we were about to get all hot and heavy in the entryway, her father cleared his throat loudly, and shit I got so nervous I almost dropped Alice flat on the ground.

"Whitlock, you're showing off some pretty fancy moves there, pal," he grunted. I could never tell if the guy was joking or not.

Mr. Masen-Cullen-Brandon, or whatever he called himself formally, didn't generally come across as all that intimidating, but ever since I started "seeing" Alice, I was scared shitless over trying to impress him. Looks-wise, he was your typical millionaire: expensive impeccably-tailed clothing, well-groomed, stayed fit (a cycler, if I recall correctly), and to my detriment, was very, very protective and concerned about pleasing his one and only daughter. Not that I disagreed with those concerns; I was fucking concerned about keeping Alice happy, and now in light of all this Volturi shit, I was also scared about her safety.

"Hello Mr. Masen, err. Cullen," I muttered. "Sir." Nice Whitlock, way to ruin the most important impression you can make.

"You can call me William, Whitlock, just like you always have," he said, rather amused at my nervousness. He shook my hand firmly and headed toward the long corridor.

"Oh, and Whitlock?" he said, turning to face me. "As long as you keep Alice smiling like she is now, you're just fine in my books." He nodded his head in consent and left the room.

I let out the breath I was apparently holding, a little louder than I expected.

"Oh Jasper!" Alice giggled, playfully tugging on my earlobe before kissing it. "You're so silly sometimes."

**APOV**

I was so thrilled to have Jasper over tonight. I had butterflies fluttering around in my stomach all day in anticipation of tonight's date. We were going ice skating in the park; I couldn't wait to have an excuse for him to wrap his arms around me and twirl me around like a ballerina like he always does. Then hopefully dessert at Chez Michel on Main.

To be perfectly honest, things had been just incredible for us since Edward left. That was when Jasper really knew he wanted me. I think it had something to do with him being scared to date "Cullen's cousin" while he was in town, but maybe it was something else. He was terrified of daddy which was ridiculous since daddy loved whoever made me happy. Whatever it was, he was definitely over Bella. He said she was too in love with Edward, and when he had the chance, he didn't even want in her that way. He wanted to be her friend, her best friend just like he was now, but nothing more. Ever.

I didn't feel like a consolation prize either. Are you kidding me? I wouldn't have fucking touched Jazz if I had even the slightest suspicion I was just a 'second choice' of his.

No, he was different now. And to be honest, I think he even made me a little different, for the better.

At Forks High, I had an image to uphold; I was the "fashionista" that was going places in life; I was going to be a huge designer in Paris and everyone knew that. I was never seen without a Vogue, an oversized designer bag (my Louis or Balenciaga lately), and at least three designer items. Plus being a member of the 'group' meant I had to reinforce my status as being Forks royalty, like the rest of us did. Nobody talked to us unless we talked to them first, and so God help you if you parked in one of our parking spots. Edward wouldn't let you ever live that down.

But with Jasper, I could be silly and goofy and not wear couture all the time and he loved me all the same. And on top of this, he still believed I was destined to become an amazing designer, even when I just wore jeans and a t-shirt. In fact, he might have even preferred it when I wasn't dressed to kill, but that didn't mean I'd drop couture altogether. I'd just be more... _modest_ about it, I guess. Maybe he was threatened that other guys kept checking me out when we were in public. Who knows.

So today, for instance, I settled on my J Brand pencil cut jeans; Cypress wash, because they were totally more casual than say, my super skinny leg Rock and Republic Berlin jean; resistance wash. Then I wore my super soft, comfy, merino wool turtleneck by 3.1 Philip Lim, a Burberry headband (because it's classic, polished and preppy without screaming "snob"), simple jewelry (my Tiffany & Co. charm bracelet that I got as a Valentine's Day present from daddy last year, and pearl earrings), and my new Jean Paul Gaultier black satin ballerina flats. I was super excited to try out my new Marc by Marc Jacobs wool coat, paired with my Burberry scarf for skating. I'd look like I just stepped out of the pages of French Vogue, and would put Carrie Bradshaw's outfits to shame.

Jasper wore a navy zip up sweater and Rag & Bone dark wash jeans (that I totally made him buy last week when we went shopping in Seattle) with brown Cole Haan leather loafers and his black Italian wool coat; which would really complement my outfit for tonight. No matter what Jas threw together (and believe me, I'm sure he always _threw_ his clothes together) he looked unique, laid-back, casual, and absolutely dashing. Unlike my cousin who had his own personal shopper (who kept him decked out in Lacoste, Hugo Boss, and other very high end preppy sophisticated looks) Jasper had his own fashion sense and brought forth whatever was in style to his own unique pieces. Emmett on the other hand was a total prepster-jock through and through, basically sporting whatever was featured in the latest A&F catalogue. But that's cool, it's not like Rose was a couture queen or anything. They both always looked like they stepped out of an Abercrombie fashion shoot.

"Thanks for the flowers by the way," I said appreciatively, taking them off the counter where he placed them. "I'll get a vase for these."

Even though my mother was getting a little irritated that Jasper was grabbing flowers out of her obsessively groomed greenhouse, I thought it was an adorable gesture. And Emilio had nothing better to do with his time anyway. I mean, it was what he got paid for, right?

I danced over to the kitchen and put the flowers in a tall crystal vase. "Burgundy tulips are my favourite," I flashed Jasper an appreciative smile.

Even though I could tell he was excited for our date, he was clearly preoccupied with his worrying over Bella.

"Jazz, what's wrong," I took his hands in mind and looked deep into his eyes. They weren't their normal shade of deep brown; when he was sad or angry they were lighter, almost a topaz shade, and an icy expression exuded from them. I didn't care how superficial and materialistic I came off to others, inside I was a deeply empathetic and caring person who could read how anyone was feeling. I also had this crazy gut instinct, where I almost always knew if something was going to go wrong. That instinct had been full-fledged ever since Edward left, and it almost always had something to do with Bella.

"It's Bella, isn't it?" I didn't have to ask, I already knew.

He nodded solemnly, rubbing his temples in frustration. "What the hell are we supposed to do, Alice? Huh? Pick up the pieces after Edward? Well I've tried, Al," he paced back and forth in front of me. "I tried and damnit, she's not listening, and I'll be damned if she even gives a shit about our efforts, 'scuse my language."

"No, no apologies," there were more important issues at hand than his language, as long as daddy didn't hear. Or the fact that he called me Al sometimes, which totally made me cringe. "And I know, I'm in the same position. I'm constantly worried that she's gotten into some serious trouble. I keep getting these intuitions, you know? And seriously I've about had it with being blamed for all her problems. She freaks out at me ten times a day. It's like, what am I? Bella's punching bag? And she's high all the time, doesn't give a crap about her school work, and if you ask me," I lowered my voice, "I think she's about out for that scholarship. The teachers are none too impressed with her rebellious behaviour. Skipping class, getting up and leaving in the middle of lecture, coming to class high the few days a week she actually attends, and God knows what else. She's definitely behind in all her classes."

Jasper nodded in agreement. It was like we were talking about a child or something, someone who couldn't possibly know the consequences of their actions.

"Esme's worried sick; rightfully so, too. She hardly ever sees Bella but hears from Rose what kind of shit she's getting herself into. Esme's thinking therapy or some crap, but doesn't want to push anything on her especially cuz she's still dealing with her mom, which just about did her in," he added.

"I mean, what a jerk move of Edward, too. He could've been nicer about it. I didn't ever think he'd stay with her long enough, but you know I was only in it for the game really, the scholarship, right? Past then I left it in fate's hands, because I know he's such a player," I said.

I didn't expect him to leave her for Christ's sake. What the hell was his deal anyway? I had no clue where the hell he went, and my dad or Carlisle wouldn't bother telling me. They just said he was vacationing and pissing off to avoid responsibility, but what else was new? As if Carlisle should be encouraging – no _promoting_, this type of behaviour. Edward certainly took after his mother if this was any indication of his behaviour.

"Yeah, well, I'm sure he has his reasons for running. We can't be too quick to judge. I can't at least. I'm not asking Bella to ever forgive him, hell; I hope she never speaks to him again. But he's still my friend, no matter what he did. He's just a fucking idiot and he knows it."

Idiot or no idiot, he was my cousin. "Yeah, you're right, Jazz. Except I think I need time before I forgive him." He stomped all over Bella's heart just because he felt like fuckin' a new chick and didn't know how to break up with someone nor did he care to learn. Jerk. Not to mention all the shit he said and did to Bella…

"So, how about that skating, hmm?" I needed Jasper's arms around me, holding me tightly, making sure I didn't fall...

He ran his fingers through those devastatingly handsome blonde locks and flashed me a smile that sent butterflies wild in my stomach. "I think that's a very, very good idea."

**Grey-eyed-blonde: **Yep... that's pretty much it. I hope you liked it. If not, review and tell me all about it. If you did like it, well then review too. Thanks! ALSO _ you will all LOVE the next chapter - firstly because Leon's writing it (yay!) and secondly because it's just all sorts of awesome. Seriously.

**-**

**Leon McFrenchington:** I like what Grey wrote, personally. Getting into these side characters' mind is actually refreshing. Alright, next chapter was _supposed_ to be Rose/Em POV... but I decided to be nice and do BPOV. And Grey happens to like the idea... and so do I... and I think you all will too... so I'm going with that. I do want my old question to remain, though--once I _do_ write R/EMPOV, do you want a lemon between them or just more character development like this chapter? Let me know in reviews. There are a lot of you alerting this, and we'd _love_ to know what you think. Please review and let us know.


	29. Chapter 29

**Leon:** To answer your questions: 1) yes, obviously she went back and got the necklace. That's how she had it. 2) we aren't sure how long the story will last "time-wise," but as our outline shows right now, it's only some odd months, possibly a year or two depending on how far we spread it out. I'm not sure we're looking at a sequel either, but only time can tell. 3) it'll all "get better" when the time is right… like this chapter.

To answer my reviews in general: People, I'm loving you hard. Your comments are so nice for my chapters, you don't even know how happy they make me. Really. Grey sends me a message like "look at the reviews for your chapter, they are awesome!" (as if I don't religiously check that reviews page every hour for a new one) and I'm shocked at what people say. You are the reason I write and publish what I write, and I'm sure Grey agrees with that, because we love knowing _exactly_ what you liked and disliked about our writing. Seriously.

Hope you like this chapter, I just had to write it. _Please_ write your reviews for this one because I want to know your reactions. I'm pre-guessing them to see how close I get.

This chapter is dedicated to KODea. She knows why.

**Disclaimer**: The girl on Twilighted, who stole this story from us, insists we own a pink dildo. We don't. We also don't own Twilight.

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**Chapter 29**

**BPOV**

I opened my eyes and yawned, everything still very fuzzy from all the crap and moisture stuck in my eyes. I stretched out, my legs pushing the blanket down and my arms… hitting something?

My vision began to clear and I realized, this was not my room. I sat up quickly and glanced around.

I was in Edward's room. Noticing a shallow breathing to my side, I slowly turned to the person, praying I hadn't done something stupid. I was already in Edward's house for some reason, God forbid I had brought someone back here to mess around with in my state.

Then my breath hitched, my lungs burning as I stopped exhaling altogether. I wiped my eyes, willing them to remove me from this… this… I didn't know what to think of it.

Edward was lounging on his side right next to me, his arm draped over my waist still. His touch was so warm, so fulfilling. I felt tears brim my eyes. I looked down at my clothes: tank top and Edward's boxers. I heard the beat of muffled music coming from downstairs.

Oh shit, was it all a dream? Those gaps and getting high, of rocking my life out to the fullest, weren't real? Because this was the fucking day after the party… if Nessie hadn't shown up… we feel asleep…

I looked at him, taking in every detail. His messy hair mussed across his forehead, sticking out in every which direction. His cheeks were slightly flushed--not blushing, just that adorable pink tinge. His lips were parted slightly, and the tip of his tongue was sticking out just a bit.

I smiled, reaching out with my hand to touch his cheek. Caressing it, I smiled as he subconsciously moved his face inward, as if trying to get even closer. I let out a giggle and noticed his lips twitch in a slight smile.

"Morning," he mumbled, his voice drowsy, as his arm tightened around my waist. He twisted his body, taking me with him until I was laying on top of him. His eyes were still closed, and his breathing was still even, as I laid on him.

"Uh, hi," I replied, still confused. I had the craziest dream…

He opened his eyes slightly and caught my odd look. "What's wrong?"

I shrugged, or tried to, as I wrapped my arms as far I could around his chest, snuggling against it. He let out a chuckle and put his free hand on my back, rubbing it back and forth.

"Someone's in a good mood," he laughed, closing his eyes again and humming as he continued to massage me.

"Just a bit now. Though, I had a crap nightmare last night…" I trailed off, averting my gaze as Edward's eyes popped open and his brows puckered together.

"What about?" he asked, sitting and pulling me along. We adjusted so he was sitting against the headboard and I was straddling him. It just clicked that he was sleeping in his boxers, and that I wasn't dressed all too well either.

"Nothing," I diverted, tracing a circle on his firm chest, watching in wonder as it tightened and relaxed under my touch. He pursed his lips, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see his gaze sharpen. I had to look away before he caught me in that stare or I would be forced into telling him my ridiculous thoughts.

"Come on, Isabella," he murmured as he pushed himself off the headrest and placed a kiss on my lips. I titled my head up to meet his lips better; asshole knew that I couldn't resist. And the full name? That was low blow.

"Really, I don't want to talk about it," I whispered against his lips after we broke apart. While I was panting for breath, he was in total control, his lips moving from mine to my cheek, down my jaw line, to my neck. He nibbled a little, finding a spot that sent shivers through my body.

"Please?" he purred against my skin. If I wasn't so turned on, I would have sighed. Instead, I let out a little mewl. _'Well, _that_ was a new sound.'_

"Uh, uh, uh," I stammered out as he continued to kiss my skin. Sucking, nibbling, kissing, sucking, nibbling, kissing… _'Oh God.'_

"Don't make me ask again, Isabella."

Shit. Hot damn.

"Now."

Fuck. Me.

I pushed away and licked my lips at the sight of him. He looked like sex, sitting there all gorgeous-like. If someone said I was just eye-fucking him, it would have been an understatement. I was eye-raping him.

That was probably why I had the dream--some punishment for getting my hands on the most amazing, brilliant, beautiful idiot in the world.

I cupped his cheeks as he narrowed his eyes on me, pushing them up to make him smile. He resisted at first but gave in, grinning widely as he pulled me into a hug. I gladly accepted it, pushing myself as close as humanly possible. Edward kissed me hair as he placed his hands on my hips.

"You know you can trust me, Bella," he spoke into my hair, his voice muffled but still sexy as hell. I nodded weakly as I pushed away, looking at the wall as I thought of how to explain my dream. I didn't want to tell him about it. It was stupid, made me look needy… even though I was.

I groaned as he grabbed my chin and made me look at him, smiling that damn crooked smile of his. I sighed and closed my eyes, retelling the dream--how he slept with Nessie, broke my heart, left me behind, how I went wild and crazy…

And then he laughed.

And laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

"It's not funny!" I yelled, smacking his shoulder. He started to calm down, but I shifted away and tried to stand up. He caught my wrist and pulled me back to him. I nestled my head under his chin so I wouldn't have to look at him. His chest was still rumbling as his hands laced behind me tightly.

"Au contraire, it was _very_ funny. I don't think you should drink anymore, Bella," he chuckled. I rolled my eyes and titled my head, kissing his Adam's apple. He let out a soft moan before flipping us over.

"E-Edward!" I laughed as he started to pepper me with kisses, this time not so aggressively. They were more calm, more sweet, more loving.

"Yeah?" he said in between two of the kisses. I grabbed a hold of his face again.

"S-stop!" I stuttered out as his kissed down my arms, tickling me. _Damn being ticklish!_

"Hrm?" He stopped and hovered above me, a smile on his lips. I slowly stopped laughing, catching my breath, and smiled back. He leaned down, giving me one more kiss on the lips, deepening it this time. I returned it happily, my hands grabbing his hair and pulling. We broke apart again, our pants and laughs echoing as we smiled at each other.

"Bella, I want you to know something," he said after a few minutes. I cocked an eyebrow; his face had become very serious. He sat back, and I followed.

"Look, we both know that… I've got baggage, that I've been with a lot of girls, that I sleep around…" he trailed off and looked at me expectantly. Of course I knew that. He didn't honestly expect me to care at this point, did he? It wasn't like I was innocent myself.

"Yeah… and…?" I prompted, sitting on knees and taking his hand in mine, rubbing his knuckles with my fingers. He smiled in return.

"Basically… all right, we all know I'm an ass, but I promise you I don't _need_ to sleep around. I've got you now and that's enough. I already told you I love you, Bella, and I mean that," he finished with a bit of hesitation, as if afraid I wouldn't believe him. Screw that, I was almost in fucking tears.

"Edward!" I giggled, pouncing him and knocking both of us off the bed. He grunted in surprise, but began to laugh as I kissed him. Could today get any better? I didn't think so.

"Hey, let's go take a shower."

_'Wow, world. When you want to prove me wrong, you do a hell of a good job!'_

"Together?" I asked, suddenly a bit self-conscious. What if he said no?

"Uh… yeah?" Now _he_ was cocking his eyebrow, looking at me strangely. I let out another giggle and nodded. He snaked an arm under my knees and the other around my shoulder before heaving us off the floor. I squealed as he bounced up and down, laughing as he ran into his bathroom.

"Edward! Careful!" I snorted out. He shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"Bella, I'd never drop you. You're clumsy enough by yourself," he smiled as he set me down gently. I smiled back as he turned and entered the shower. Spinning the tap, he set it to hot and turned back. I immediately began to blush as I thought of what would happen next.

He lifted his hand and motioned with his finger for me to walk to him. I slowly stepped forward and he closed the rest of the distance. His hands expertly lifted my shirt over my head, leaving me bare to him. He chuckled at the sight of my boobs and I looked away.

"Bella, don't look away," he ordered, grabbing hold of my chin and making me gaze into his eyes. They were blazing, emotional, strong. They dropped slowly and took in my naked top. He leaned down and kissed my neck, sending shivers through my body. "You have the most amazing breasts I've ever seen," he groaned into my skin, his lips heading south to them.

"U-uh, Edward, don't lie!" I tried to step back but he held me close and continued to kiss lower and lower, coming to the valley between my breasts.

"I'm not." His tongue made its way between them, going down instead of up as most guys would have tried.

Screw it, no guy would even think of any of that. Edward Cullen knew what he was doing.

"Oh God, Edward," I moaned out as his tongue found my nipple, circling it slowly. His free hand made its way over to my other boob and gently kneaded it before groping more roughly, finally grabbing hold of the small bud and twisting. He looked up at me under those thick lashes and latched my nipple between his teeth. I gasped, the pain and pleasure intense. And damn, he had barely done anything.

I closed my eyes as he began to suck and twirl his tongue around me, softly, then more rough, then back to soft. And then it was gone.

I heard myself whimper as I opened my eyes and glared at Edward. He was smiling smugly and shook his head. "Come on, let's finish our shower," he said with a sly grin as his fingers tore at the boxers I was wearing, ripping them apart. If I wasn't blushing before, I had turned into a tomato by now.

"Bella, don't be embarrassed," he cooed in my ear as he pulled me into a hug. I could tell he was trying to make me as comfortable as possible, but it was hard. He had been with so many girls, and he looked like… _that_; and I looked like… _this_. It wasn't fair.

"Edward, you aren't going to take a shower in your boxers, are you?" I could _feel_ my face redden and heat up at the thought of bathing together.

"No, I'm not," he chuckled, his arms dropping from behind my back, and I heard the silent _plop_ of his boxers as they fell to the floor.

_'All right, Bella. Game time. The show is on. You can do this. Sexy, think sexy. You are the girl. Edward Cullen wants _you_. Sex Goddess Bella, it's time to wake up. Any minute now…'_

Edward slowly stepped back and my eyes raked over his form. Damn, wasn't there some rule that said perfection was never to be achieved? Then again, when did Edward Cullen follow the rules?

_'Oh, shit__… Sex Goddess Bella, calling Sex Goddess Bella, come to the room _now_ or we are in trouble!'_

There he stood in magnificent glory. Even flaccid, his cock was damn impressive and aided in the ache I was beginning to feel between my legs. I took it all in, every nook and cranny on his body. The musculature of his arms, his chest, his stomach. The lithe and thick stalks of his thighs and calves. The calluses on his long and slender fingers, coupled with his large hands. The way his smiled inched up more on one side than the other. The array of sex hair that was ever constant. And his eyes. Oh good lord, his eyes. They were so deep and passionate, and I knew I was staring too long, but I didn't give a second shit.

Edward took a step toward me, reaching out a hand and grabbing hold of mine. He pulled me gently to him and embraced me again. I relished in the warmth and firmness that his body provided as I wrapped my arms around him too. This is exactly where I wanted to be. It was sweet, it was tender, it was what I knew Edward could be.

"Are you ready?" he asked after a couple of minutes, the steam filling the room and warming us further. I couldn't help but wonder if I should read into what he said as he lifted me, my legs instantly wrapping around his waist, and walked us both into the heat.

I groaned at the brilliant feeling of Edward's skin against mine, the water intensifying the ardor.

"Can I wash you?"

_'Baby, you can do _whatever_ you want.'_

"Sure," I squeaked. Smooth, Bella, smooth.

Edward just set me on my feet and chuckled, his hands reaching out for a bottle of his shampoo. Pouring a generous amount, he brought his hands up to my head and began to massage my scalp with his strong hands. I dropped my head and allowed him his fingers to stroke deep into my skull. When my eyes focused, I realized I was staring right at his junk, the water flowing over it. I suppressed a giggle and held my hand back, the temptation to grab hold of his giant man meat too strong at the moment. Just as I was about to cave, Edward was tipping my head back and letting the water run over it, removing all the grim from the previous day. I sighed in contentment and frustration--it felt nice as hell, but I wanted me some action.

Good thing we were in the shower, I was _wetter_ than I'd ever been in my life.

He repeated the massage with the conditioner before fishing out his body wash. He squirted a bit onto a cloth and began to scrub my body with it slickly. His hands seemed to be everywhere at once--gliding up and down my arms and sides, then around to my back and neck, and then to my torso and breasts--a place he spent an incredibly amount of time, to make sure they were clean, I was sure. The pressure he applied as he grabbed hold of them was incredibly, my back arching toward him as he rubbed his thumbs over my nipples teasingly.

Then he finally descended and began to wash up from my feet. The sight of Edward kneeling, his eyes at cooch-level and not deviating from my pussy, even as he continued to wash me, was almost enough to make me pass out. My knees shaking was probably sign of that.

Edward spun me around quickly, and my knees buckled, but he kept me up by my waist. Shit was he strong.

And then his hands were cleaning and rubbing my ass.

I was getting an ass massage by Edward fucking Cullen.

Ass. Massage. Edward. Cullen.

_Fuuuuuck__…_

"Does it feel good?" he asked, bemused. _'Shit, I must have said that a loud.'  
_

"Perfect," I stuttered, knowing I sounded like a little kid. _'Shit, really, Bella?'_

Once again, I was spun around after Edward rinsed my ass off. There was only one placed he hadn't cleaned yet… and I was somewhat happy to see that he didn't have any feminine wash sitting around. _That_ would have been awkward…

But I had more pressing issues now.

Like Edward's returning gaze. On my lady bits.

I would have giggled.

But then he pulled me to him, and his eyes were straight set on my vagoo.

_Oh shit._

"U-uh, Edward," more stuttering. But he didn't seem to hear me as his head titled up and his eyes met mine. He stood slowly, until he was towering over me. More shivering, but it wasn't from cold or fear. I had never been so turned on in my life.

Edward watching me, touching me, wanting me… _'while he was standing there, looking like sex on a stick? Sign me up!'_

He seemed to think the same as he dipped low and crashed his lips into mine. I gave in completely, my body limping as his arms found their way to my waist again. I lifted my legs and wrapped them over his hips. I could feel something big get even bigger under me. I broke from the kiss and looked under me.

_Holy shit!_

Not only was Edward Cullen a shower, he was a fucking grower too! I was almost afraid it wouldn't fit.

A little grind against my ass from _big_ Edward knocked all thoughts out of me, though, and his lips once again crashed against mine as he sat down on the bench in the shower.

His hands were moving again, up my sides and to my face, pulling me closer to him. I bucked my hips against his, groaning at the fiction the length of his thick rod provided between my legs and against my asscrack.

Quicker than I could imagine, Edward had jumped to his feet, shut off the water, and ran back to his room with my still latched onto him. I squealed against his chest, laughing along with him as he jumped on the bed. I laid under him as his eyes washed over me, now doing a bit of his own ogling. That was alright--I didn't know what he saw, but if he wasn't going to complain, I wouldn't bring it up. I was too happy right now.

"Bella, you are the most fucking gorgeous, beautiful, brilliant seductress I've ever laid my eyes on," he growled as he dipped down and began kissing my neck. I titled my head to the side and back, giving him more access. "I stood no chance against you."

I grabbed his hair and pulled him up to me, looking at the longing in his eyes. He wanted this. He wanted me.

"Edward, shut up and make me feel loved," I panted out, the emotion too thick in the room.

"Oh Bella," he chuckled as he began to shimmy down, his face meeting my boobs again. "You are going to feel so loved, you won't know how to handle it," his voice had a dark overtone and my breathing hitched, my body richening in the wonderful need and ache that his presence caused me.

Once again, his mouth trapped one nipple while one hand began to twirl and twist the other. My back arched, pressing my body against his. His free hand slowly inched toward my lower parts, and I moaned as his fingers brushed past the outer lips. He began to skim around the edges, teasing me, making me want it even more--but that was impossible. I couldn't want him anymore than I already did.

His middle finger began to slowly enter and the ache subsided, replaced by the desire, the need of having inside me.

"God yes, Edward, please, just do it!" I yelled as I thrust my hips up, pushing his long finger inside me.

"Shit, so wet," he hissed as he plunged two more fingers in there quickly, not bothering to ease into me anymore. My body stiffened before relaxing as he removed them and forced them back in. In and out, in and out, his powerful fingers twisted and twirled, hitting spots most guys couldn't reach with their cocks. His fucking fingers were better than most lays!

He continued his strokes as his lips met every inch of my breasts, kissing, sucking, nibbling, biting--they never left my skin for more than a second. His other hand began to rub my clit softly, the bundle of nerves stinging slightly from the stimulation--but the sweet sting was just what I needed.

"Edward, shit, Edward, I fucking love you, fuck!" I screamed as my walls began to clench around his fingers as he hit a particularly sensitive spot. My body shook as my orgasm took over. My vision went fuzzy as Edward's fingers exited it my sensitive spot and he began his deep kisses on my flesh again.

"You," _kiss_, "have the," _kiss_, "fucking hottest," _kiss_, "orgasm face," _kiss_.

I let out a weak laugh as his lips lowered to my neck… and then my chest… and then my stomach… '_and_ _holy shit, he's not stopping!'_

"Bella," he began as he licked the side of my thigh, and my eyes rolled back into my head. _Shit!_

"God, Edward!" I fisted the sheets as he licked the other thigh.

"Even your fucking juices are the sweetest things I've ever tasted. I'm never going to get tired of pleasing you," he whispered into my cooch before leaning forward and kissing my clit softly--then he grabbed it between his lips and sucked _hard_.

"FUCK!" I screeched as his teeth slightly bit it. He stopped immediately and the ache was back, the need to have him pleasuring me. He lifted his head and stuck his tongue out all the way as I watched his face, it reaching down to his chin. I trembled at the sight. He dipped down and started from the bottom of my vagina, never entering, only moving up ridiculously leisurely. I groaned as my eyes once again rolled back into my head, bucking my hips and want _more_. His tongue ended on my clit, gyrating around it but not quite touching. I rolled my hips along with his tongue, hoping to gain the delicious chafing his rough buds provided, but he noticed and moved along with me.

Bastard.

"EDWARD!" I screeched and glared, and that was all it took. The next second, he was fucking me with his tongue and I felt my insides burst instantly. But he didn't stop, even with my body shaking from the intense release--he continued to whip his tongue in and out, to the sides, twisting it in ways that made me think he had to be some unearthly creature from the intense pleasure.

And then his fingers entered too. His lips found my clit and began to suck away like I was a lollipop, his fingers jamming back into me tenderly, but roughly at the same time. And just like that, I had another orgasm after such a short time with Edward. I could get used to this.

"Delicious," he muttered into my pussy as he kissed and licked up after me. _'And clean--I like that, now do it again.'_

"Oh my God, Edward… I can't feel my legs anymore…" I weakly laughed as he came back to my side and started kissing my neck and face, showering me in affection. I pushed him off me, and he returned his eyes to mine, but there was a hint of worry.

"Are you alright?" he asked, concerned, his hand caressing my cheek. I almost smacked him for asking me such a stupid question.

"Fuck yeah!" I yelled instead, laughing as he cocked an eyebrow and smiled.

"Then what's wrong?" he asked, again concerned. Damn it, no. I didn't want concern, I wanted sex!

"You need to do me," I insisted clearly and surely. I wanted this, I wanted him, I wanted it _now_.

"Is that all?" he said as he brought his lips to mine, and I could feel him smile as he kissed me. His body was once again hovering over mine, and I could feel the tip of his cock at my entrance.

"Sweet lord," I groaned as the head on his cock teased the hole. Fuck. Yes.

'_That's mine now, bitches.'_

"Bella, look at me," he stated, moving my chin so I was staring straight into his eyes. He dropped his hand and found mine. "Bella, squeeze when it starts to hurt."

I nodded, bracing myself--fuck the pain, I'd die from the pleasure.

Just as he entered, I forced my body to relax, to take him in. His body followed his dick, his back bending slowly. His lips captured mine in a searing kiss as he continued to push further and further, my crotch spreading apart like it never had before. I did as he told me and squeezed tightly on his hand. My other hand found his back and clawed at it.

He entered me slowly, allowing me to adjust to the size of his giant cock often. I moaned and groaned and fucking thanked God for this brilliant, sweltering pain. It was so worth it as he claimed me, made me his, made himself mine.

And just as he fully sheathed himself in me, he stilled and looked into my eyes. I looked back, taking in the burning passion and love I saw, wanted, needed, craved, felt.

"Edward," I whispered out, and he mimicked, whispering "Bella."

And then he began to slowly withdraw, and I felt empty, wanting him more. "Please," I whimpered, my eyes pleading him to continue.

He shifted his hips, widening my thighs and pushing back in slowly, lovingly. He was pacing himself, I could tell. Making this easy on me, this was all for me.

"I fucking love you, Bella," he whispered, leaning down and taking my lips in his, his tongue teasing the edges and forcing their way in. We fought for dominance as he continued to thrust, his pelvis hitting my clit and my back arching so that my breasts rubbed against his hard chest. My hands found his back again, rubbing the strong muscles and scratching as he hit my cervix.

"Edward," I mumbled into his ear.

"Hmm?" he mumbled back, and I could hear the strain as he tried not to pound into me. But I didn't want that. I wanted him to have me any way he wanted, to keep him happy and wanting more.

"Harder. Fuck. Me. Harder," I whispered before biting down on his ear and grazing my teeth on it.

"Oh God," and then he pulled out almost the entire way. I sniveled, the empty feeling back again and the pain returning, before he pounded into me. And pounded and pounded and pounded, his beautiful cock filling me up and hitting spots that were so far deep, no man could ever dream of touching them.

But Edward Cullen wasn't just any man. He was Edward fucking Cullen, God of Sex and Love and making me feel all types of wanted, horny, passionate, loved.

"Yes! Fucking yes!" I yelled as he grunted and forced himself deeper. I looked down to see him enter and exit me with such strength and power, all the nerves except those in my vagina shutting off as my body gave itself to him with no resistance. He pounded harder and harder, and I could feel that building pressure in my gut, signaling yet another release, but I tried to hold out for as long as I could.

"Bella, fucking do it, Bella. Cum on my cock, cum for me," Edward groaned as he bit into my shoulder. My body couldn't handle anymore and I felt the shakes once more, my pants mixing with my groans as Edward continued to thrust hard into me.

And I didn't want him to stop. I didn't want this to ever stop.

I wanted to feel loved. I wanted to feel desired. I wanted to feel _his_, in any way and form, including the most sweet of sins and wishes.

But I didn't.

And I awoke with a cry, tears already falling down my face. The ache between my legs was gone. Instead, I felt the ache in my chest.

I turned to the clock on the wall, seeing that it was still 4 in the morning. I rolled over on my bed and clutched at the blankets as if they would protect me. I wrapped myself tightly with them and covered my head with one of the spare pillows.

And for the next three hours, I cried and cried, knowing that I would never feel wanted or loved like that.

* * *

**Leon McFrenchington:** Okay, seriously, this is one of those stories where I write the chapter, say "omg wtf I h8 mislf dis es totes crap," publish it, and then start to like it later. Even though it's still crap later. I honestly don't know. Actually, I do that with all my stories and never like the chapters. Oh well.

Well, there's your smut. It's not very smutty--but, really, her emotions are more aimed on the sweet and loving side, rather than the animalistic sex she'll have with Edward later (wait, did I say that? I must be lying!). I'm sure most of you saw that ending, I just needed to write this now and get it out there. Sorry. Hope you all at least enjoyed it. This was mainly to show you a contrast when you see how Bella acts around everyone else. Now, I'm going to be on a bit of an FA-break for a while--the next couple of chapters are Grey's and they are great.

As always, I ask you wonderful readers to head on over to my account and check out my stories. I just started a new one that is jam-packed with sexual innuendos, co-written by Nikkipedia: 'Positive, Negative, Not So Sure.' I started with chapter 8 and every review thus far has praised my ability to make everything dirty. Please make me feel like a pervert and review it too. I promise it's good.

http://www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/s/4507917/1

-

**Grey-eyed-blonde: **... one of the many reasons I absolutely LOVE Leon. Need I say more? No, I needn't. So there's your smut fill for a few chapters. On a side note, if any of you were following "me" on Twilighted dot net, that wasn't the real Grey Eyed Blonde. She was a fake, and somehow managed to get away with copying and pasting the chapters from here onto Twilighted. She also said I owned a pink dildo in one of her A/N's. With Leon's writing I need no such device. This fraud, who we refer to as grey eyed bitch, has hopefully been dealt with. Thanks guys for reading the _real _grey-eyed-blonde/leon collaboration, and I'll try and update as soon as possible. Check out Leon's other stuff in the meantime, it's fuckin amazing. Seriously. I read that shit over and over.


	30. Chapter 30

**Grey-Eyed-Blonde: Hi guys! Thank you so much to all my readers & reviewers... you guys are the best! Also, I posted some photos on my FF profile, so if you want to check those out, feel free to do so! **

**Many thanks to Leon for his awesomeness. **

**Leon McFrenchington: ****A'ight, laughed my butt off at this chapter. It was epic. I lied. Not taking a break. I'm finally doing an EPOV, which people tell me I'm good at (really, though, I love Bella in this story more), but you're gonna get more smut--so don't worry. It'll be a dream again, though, just so ya know. Till next time, biznitches.**

**Disclaimer: We finally won our story back! Now, if only we could win the rights to Twilight... or at least RPattz... yum... RPattz.**

**---**

**MPOV – Yes, that's right. Molina POV. Brace yourselves lads. Ps. "FML" = Fuck my life. It's a website: fmylife[dot]com. I highly recommend checking it out. Molina's a frequent contributor. **

I pulled my 1986 Toyota Corolla rickety rust-bucket in right beside Alice Brandon's ostentatious shiny yellow Porsche 911 Turbo, double pumping the clutch so I wouldn't stall with only half my car in the designated "teacher's parking lot" that the Brandon-Hale-Cullen-McCarty-Whitlock clan claimed as their own the first day they stepped their disdainful little feet on Forks High soil, silver spoon still in each of their mouths.

My whole car rumbled when I turned off the engine and an embarrassingly large cloud of smoke spouted out of the exhaust pipe. I'd been evading the mandatory emissions test for this beast for the past ten years because that's about how long it's been falling apart and expelling unhealthy masses of fumes and god-knows-what-else into the atmosphere. I'm sure this old gem was a great deal responsible for the giant and rapidly growing hole in the ozone layer. I'm a biology teacher, slowly killing the planet.

FML.

I stepped out of my car and grabbed my old falling-to-bits leather briefcase out of the back seat, smoothing my forefinger over the thick layer of duct tape that was holding the back passenger window intact before slamming the door shut, throwing my hip against it so it closed right. Finicky thing this car was. It'd acquired so many quirks during its period of depreciation I'd started to think it had its own personality; double pump the clutch, throw my body against the doors to shut them right, remember to reseal the ceiling with a garbage bag when it rains to keep the leaks at bay, and god knows what else. Every day was a new discovery on how my car was falling apart.

A gust of wind hit me right as I was reaching for my thermos and threw me off balance, spilling the lukewarm coffee all over my loafers, in turn scalding my feet; the wind destroying any attempt I'd made to keep my hair relatively presentable this morning.

I took a quick glance of my reflection off Alice Brandon's Porsche and noticed I'd forgotten to remove the piece of toilet paper I used to cover my razor cut from this morning. I flicked it off and let the wind take it away into the abyss.

In addition to that my hair now looked like I just rolled out of bed, or came from a rampant romp in the sack. My superintendent is visiting my lesson today.

This is 'f my life' worthy: 'My heap-of-shit car pales in comparison to my students' fine European cars. I spilled hot coffee all over my feet resulting in second degree burns and a staggering limp. The wind blew my hair out of control and now I look like I've just had an hour long sex session with my girlfriend. My girlfriend isn't even having sex with me. FML.' Or conclude that with, 'My superintendent is assessing my teaching skills today. FML.'

I remember when I used to get excited about going to work, when I used to spring out of bed at the melodious ringing of my alarm clock, rock out to the radio on the way to school, and walk from my car to the school with that extra skip in my step.

Ah, those were the good old days; when I'd pick out a funky tie (I was dubbed the "cool tie guy" of Forks High), pack my favourite egg salad sandwich and tomato soup lunches with an extra-large thermos of coffee, and saunter down the halls while being saluted by the students and treated like the respected educator I used to be.

Somehow however, that all changed four years ago when those bratty progenies of "Forks Royalty" invaded our humble little school. Why those too-wealthy-for-their-own-good parents didn't settle on sending them to the Milford Academy in Seattle was beyond me; they'd receive a better education than I'd ever give them, that's for damn sure. Perhaps they'd even learn a thing or two about etiquette and learn to blend in because of their social status rather than parade around with this over-inflated sense of entitlement.

Even though they all had their own unique way of making my life (and all the other teachers' lives come to that) a living hell, the worst was Edward Cullen. He made the other four look like little angels.

Alice Brandon – the cousin of Edward Cullen – was clearly "too good" for Forks High; she'd parade around the school showcasing her expensive clothing, and jewellery that I could only _dream_ of buying my long-time girlfriend. I swear I saw a Cartier watch gracing her bony little wrist the other day, which wouldn't surprise me in the least. Her family probably blew their noses with hundred dollar bills just for the fun of it.

She wasn't all bad however; just abhorrently superficial and materialistic. I imagined she did more shopping than anything else; her father probably paid off someone to do all her homework. Somehow though, she managed to keep her GPA well above average, which always boggled my mind. Nonetheless I let it be; if you dared to correct her behaviour she'd just give you challenging raise of her eyebrow but then hit you below the belt with that manipulative little smile (which she's perfected over the years) and you'd have no choice but to give in to the barely five-foot tall tinkerbell.

She had happy-go-lucky Jasper Whitlock following her around, which confused me because he wasn't exactly her "calibre" if you get my drift. He was a good kid with good morals and a hardworking mother. His no-good-for-nothing father ditched him if I can recall correctly, which meant he had to pick up the pieces, and he did a damn good job at that. His mother raised him to be a gentleman; he never failed to open a door for one of the staff and would actually stand in the presence of a lady ever so often. Southern etiquette I suppose; I hear that's where he was born and raised as a little boy. The accent's still faint when he speaks, the slightest twang when he says certain words that you'd only notice if you'd been a linguist, like me. I didn't so much mind him though, just the company he kept. He rarely took any of my classes anyway since he was always doing the art thing. The kid was a stylish one, too. I didn't know anyone who could pull off some of the things he did; he often even created trends.

The 'mean girl' of Forks was Rosalie Hale. I swear she belonged on the rugby team, but somehow she got by getting her aggressions out on those less fortunate than her, such as those who dare walk in her path or look at her the wrong way. I don't think people ever looked her in the eye, even though it was hard not to stare when you were in her presence. Gorgeous as a supermodel, deadly as a she-devil. Once I chanced a look at her when she was in my class last year, just trying to figure her out, and when she caught me "staring" she stood up and placed one hand on her hip and said, "take a picture Molina; it'll last longer," right before the entire class. She was a mean girl alright.

And evidently set up for a charmed little life being Mrs McCarty and I wouldn't be damned if Emmett was the next Senator, seeing as his father's got enough influence. That's how things have always worked in that family; his father's father was a Senator, and I'm pretty sure his father was one too. And now this little golden boy was out to be the next Senator and next great football hero, winning in life at every angle possible.

Don't let those dimples fool you; Senator McCarty's son was not so innocent, despite his ability to win over the entire older female faculty with his unscrupulously overexploited smile that made his eyes twinkle. Give me a break. I think deep down, McCarty was an alright enough kid though, despite his tendencies of charming the pants off the elders. Rarely gave me any trouble but I knew his type alright. When I was a student back in the day we had a kid just like him, Ricky Norris. Ricky's dad was some hot-shot lawyer and because of this he didn't have to do anything in life because it'd all be handed to him. He didn't answer to nobody. So because of this, he got to do what he was truly passionate about, which was play ball. He got all the girls, decent enough grades, an incredible scholarship to the college of his choice; then once his football career was over, he got a cozy job taking over his father's multi-million dollar company. McCarty didn't bother me enough to make me wish I never lived; he never used the 'my daddy will fire you' card on me.

No, that was Edward Cullen's job.

Edward Cullen.

Mr. 'I'm god's gift to women.' Or Mr. 'I have more money in my pockets than your entire net worth.'

He was the whole reason I woke up every day and recited my three favourite words: fuck my life, fuck my life, fuck my life.

I never thought I'd be one of those teachers that crapped in their pants when a student gave them the knowing look that said 'you dare exert authority over me and your ass is mine.' I felt like the principal from Ferris Bueller, if only I had such entitlement. Unfortunately I was only a teacher.

I don't know when Edward Cullen established this power over me, but whenever it was, the transition was smooth enough I didn't even see it coming. One day I was the king of Forks – the coolest teacher, won the "teacher of the year" award five consecutive years, and then the next day I wake up and Edward Cullen is controlling my life.

I bought a voodoo doll a couple years back to try and make his life a little less charmed, stab at the golden boy's perfect little life, but that only resulted in me pricking my finger one too many times.

But sadly such guilty obsessions were best exercised within the comforts and privacy of my home.

When it came to class, I would stand at the whiteboard trying to offer the class the best teaching I could, and Edward Cullen waltzed in at least fifteen minutes late every class.

This year I gained the courage to stand up to the little demon and threaten him with a consequence to his tardiness, but that only got me a lecture from him on how his father was _Dr. Cullen_ who funded the new renovation on this school and his mother was a _Masen_ – a name which was sacred in Forks for a few centuries at least, and who was second in line to Dr. Cullen's numerous donations.

"You _lecture_ me, your funding's cut, so have fun cleaning toilets Molina."

FML.

I'd gone to school with god's-gift-to-men, Elizabeth Masen, until she got shipped off to the Chapin School in Manhattan after being caught shagging the now "Senator" John McCarty in the staff washroom. She was a freshman, he was a senior; she was an heiress, he was the Senator's son. Pretentious times a hundred. Whatever kind of offspring would have resulted from that union I'll never want to know. Can't be worse than what already exists in Edward Cullen himself.

Elizabeth always shared her son's sense of entitlement, but at least she exercised it with an ounce of discretion. Despite all the etiquette classes money can buy, she still knew where she stood in society.

She knew she was as good as royalty and never let those of the lower classes, like me, forget it. I've got deep wounds from Elizabeth alright, but I'm not going around discussing that. I'll be damned if the little spawn of Elizabeth Masen ever found out I asked her to the spring fling and got rejected. So maybe that's where part of my hatred for Edward Cullen was rooted.

He would have a fucking heyday with that, and wouldn't ever let me live that down. It's not like he'd ever know anything about rejection or real life difficulties; he had everything he needed in life and more.

He had every girl at Forks High lusting over him, every female teacher's loins aching when they saw him, so eager and yearning to screw him (and I swear to god some of the younger ones, like Miss Dawson, probably did get in his pants) and every poor male victim, like me, and Mr Banner the gym teacher, vying for his life.

This year was particularly bad because he was doing this whole song and dance trying to get into the pants of that new Isabella Swan, or _Bella_ Swan I suppose she preferred to be called. She entered Forks High on the first day all doe-eyed and timid but within a week of attending, turned into some cock-tease dressed in biker boots and god knows what else she got away with. I swear to god she came to class wearing some cheerleading outfit once, and Edward Cullen had to dash out of the room like there was a fire in his pants.

Since Edward started being noticeably more full of himself (upon the arrival of this Swan character, likely in hopes of trying to exemplify why he was 'God's gift to women') I started carrying a flask of whiskey in my pocket to sprinkle in my coffee every now and then. I should look into some valium or something as well in case he gets on my very last nerve.

The fact that my job security relies on what kind of mood Edward Cullen is in (which, in turn depends on how much nooky he's been receiving) makes me wish I'd gone to be an electrician and take over the family business like I was supposed to.

FML.

But no, I had to be different; I had to be passionate about teaching and inspiring young minds. I had to strive to "help students to realize their potential and reach their dreams." In addition to all these clichéd teaching taglines (which, by the way, don't happen in reality) I had the goal of helping special needs students.

The only "special needs" at Forks High were Alice Brandon's latest special "dietary needs" – for instance, when the cafeteria had to ship in only organic foods and nothing with white flour, sugar, or other such random additives, to assist her weight loss program for her employment at Paris Fashion Week or some ridiculous excuse to miss school.

That, or Edward Cullen's "special needs" that got him exclusive one-on-one time with Miss Rachel Dawson during my labs; somehow, despite missing nearly every single lab last year for his "enriched learning" with Miss Dawson, he still managed to stun me with his intellect, earning results in his experiments well beyond my knowledge. I actually looked up one result he managed to pull out of his ass (and I knew he pulled this out of his ass because I deliberately put him on the spot, asking him in front of the class) and he aced it. Not only had he aced it, he actually produced a major scientific breakthrough. I sold the idea to the American Society for Cell Biology and they gave me a grant to use for the classroom; it felt awesome to capitalize on Edward Cullen's ingeniousness. I purchased new glass slides because I knew Edward was using them for his extracurricular activities to line up cocaine; he'd bring them back with powder on the edges and I didn't want traces of contraband circulating in my classroom. Next thing I know I'd be paying _his_ prison sentence.

So far this term, I was fortunate enough that Edward Cullen was nowhere in sight. I assumed he was still basking in the sunlight of his tropical paradise; he always came back from Christmas holidays with a healthy bit of sun that made female students drop their jaws and undergarments at the sight.

Last year he didn't bother to come back until mid-January; seeing that it was early February I wasn't that concerned. Besides, he was faxing all his biology assignments to the school, and I'd been marking them; all one hundred percent papers. I knew he'd already received his offers for Dartmouth, Harvard, Yale, Brown, Columbia, Cornell, Princeton, UPenn, and god knows where else he applied.

He scored one of the most impossibly high SAT scores I'd ever seen which is why (in my attempt of being a good educator, providing equal support for all students – _even_ Edward Cullen) I urged him to look into joining Mensa. He then informed me that Mensa was "hocus pocus bullshit for antisocial losers who had nothing else to do with their time than sit around and dwell in each others' antisocial over-intelligence," and something about "analyzing the shit out of unnecessarily prolonged Scrabble tournaments." So therefore, Edward was smarter than Mensa. How could I have not seen that one coming?

He was set for law school, med school, business school, or whatever the hell other school he wanted. Why the hell doesn't he just try all three? Become a multi-billionaire (who knows if the family company he's inheriting has already achieved that though; might already be done for him). Hell, why not play the stock market just for the fun of it because you've got more money than god himself? Then to top it all off, why not marry the most beautiful woman in the world and have superhuman children with her? Call it a life well played. He had all the opportunities at the tip of his fingers, it was just a matter of which manoeuvre's he'd attempt. It was like playing a chess game where no matter what move he made, he won.

As much as I hated giving him the one hundred percents that fed his 4.0 GPA, I had no choice for two reasons. First, he deserved those marks, and secondly and more importantly, he _owned_ me.

Well, not so directly, but his family owned most of Forks High and Forks in general, and if I didn't listen to what the seventeen year old tyrant said, my career would be as good as over.

Just as I was finishing off the very little lukewarm coffee that was left in my thermos (the rest was on my shoes, soaking into my soaks, squishing around in my shoes every time I shifted my feet) the bell rang and my class of half asleep students that resembled zombies at this hour in the morning shuffled into the classroom, bickering with each other, pausing intermittently to yawn.

I did a quick head count to make sure I had even numbers for my exciting onion cell lab; I don't know why I even bothered though since most kids would bullshit their way through it anyway.

"Ahem!" I cleared my throat as loudly as possible, but nobody seemed to take notice of my attempt to settle the class down. "CLASS!" I hollered, straining my vocal cords.

"Onion plants and cells, that's whats on your slides; this lab is very important because it will encourage critical thinking skills to draw connections, and maybe even clarify your results from last week's lab..." I muttered, directing my uninspiring speech at whoever was listening.

I scanned the room, instantly noticing Bella Swan slouching in the back with her hood pulled down over her head, barely masking her heavy eyes. She had prominent dark circles beneath her eyes and bags big enough to pack my luggage for my annual camping trip up north. Poor girl.

Edward Cullen must've done that to her. Must have broken her heart by cheating on her with the newest flavour of the week. Alas, surprise, surprise. Come to think of it, I did see a new girl circulating her way around the school; pretty thing too. Looked quite a lot like Bella except more... expensive? Well-maintained? Whatever it was, she was a lot more _his_ type than Bella. Must have been the one who caused all this heartache.

Oh well, there's plenty of fish in the sea, all's well doesn't always end well, Bella will find someone a little more grounded for her out there, more reliable. I don't know who would actually be silly enough to commit to Edward Cullen since he'll likely never get married and just live the life of a high-rolling bachelor all his days. He'll be ninety years old and put Hugh Hefner to shame; I can just picture him now, draped in a silk kimono, lounging on a plush leather couch with six blonde bunnies ready to give him endless sexual gratification provided his junk still works.

The thought made me shudder.

As of now, he's got every woman/girl/gay male out there desperately trying to win him over. In fact, I ever think I recall a particularly awe-struck grade nine girl steal a lock of his hair once.

And my mind tries hard to erase the memories of that ill-fated day when I was wandering past Miss Dawson's classroom one day and I heard some erotic noises emitting from the room. Moans, groans and the occasional "Ohh yahhh, that's so good right there..." whether it was Miss Dawson herself I'll never know, but it wouldn't surprise me.

And here I was, blissfully ignorant, thinking that our young educators were actually somewhat respectable. Or that when I caught an accidental glimpse of Miss Dawson's garter belt when she crossed her legs (wearing a skirt, nonetheless) during a staff meeting said garter belt was actually for supporting her undergarments, not for the enjoyment of one under-aged student whom she frequently had these private "study sessions" with.

Needless to say, the fact that the ever-pretentious Edward Cullen hadn't made an appearance in my life for over a month was enough to raise my spirits. When you lead such a mundane life, every little bit of happiness is best savoured; preserving the sweetness of its temporary gratification.

**A/N: Hope you liked it... I just really liked Molina in the movie for some reason, he seemed like a rad dude, and since I'm going into teaching myself I thought it'd be fun to give his POV. Comments are always appreciated. Now take a little break from this story and go read some of Leon's other various works. They're all amazing and highly entertaining. Two thumbs up. **


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Grey Eyed Blonde here! Sorry about the little wait guys! It's crunch time for my school work... **

**I'd like to thank my readers & reviewers, and as always Leon for being an awesome Beta & Co-writer. He's the greatest. **

**  
Disclaimer: Don't own it. **

**Nessie POV**

Life with Mims was... strange. Strange was actually a gross understatement, which is why I avoided hanging around the house too much. She'd given me piles of Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem, and other works by prominent second-wave feminists to "educate" myself and "eliminate" hate. She was big into key words and catch phrases like that, too.

I personally think Mims worked so hard trying to reject who she was in her Manhattan days that she became entirely radical, completely resisting _everything_ and it made her pretty much adamant in general.

"Fuck patriarchy" read the bumper sticker slapped on the back of her Toyota Prius. I hated driving the thing around.

Oh, and aside from being a radical feminist – most of her life being consumed by being anti-this and pro-that – she was also a strict vegetarian and environmentalist. She'd just paid to get the entire house solar panelled for some reason or another. Seriously, I didn't quite fathom what that would accomplish since Forks was like, the greenest place ever. I think if there was ever going to be a hope in hell of saving the environment it needed to start in Manhattan, then work its way through New York City before Forks people should concern themselves.

Or if Forks people were to concern themselves, it should be left up to the Cullens to worry about leaving a lighter ecological footprint. They had enough shit using up energy than all of Forks combined. Such wasteful people. I mean did Edward Cullen really need a private jet to himself?

Whatever, this needn't concern me. He was long gone now, and I'm pretty sure he wasn't coming back... for a very, very long time. Which is too bad because after getting to know him a bit and hear about his unbelievable love for Bella, I knew he was a good person and worth helping.

I flopped down on the couch and laid down on my side, and _lord_ that was a bad idea. All I could feel was throbbing and heat and my bandage rubbing against the raw skin of my recently inked body part.

My rib tattoo was stinging like I was lying in a bed of thorns; every time I applied pressure it felt like death. Nothing was as bad as the tattooing procedure itself, or the initial few lines of it at least. The benefit of getting a piece like this was that after the first couple letters were drawn, the area was numb enough that it didn't hurt as terribly, but it was still a brutal, unpleasant sensation overall.

I cautiously ran my finger along the lines of the tattoo that were still raised from swelling and had a few little scabs from puncturing the skin.

Guh.

It looked fairly good though, which was a tiny consolation at this point. Perfectly scrawled in cursive lettering, the phrase "dulcius ex asperis." Sweeter after difficulties.

Once the swelling and redness went down, it would look really incredible. What's more, it meant something to me.

I placed it on my left side, right below where my bra ended; right at the skinniest part of my body. The most painful place on the body (next to the breastbone) to tattoo.

The pain and excitement and rebelliousness of it was certainly thrilling, that's for sure. I wondered what my Park Ave friends would have to say about my recent exploit; they'd probably drop their jaws and be like "Blair honey you should totes laser that off soon," or something equally judgemental.

I remember the time when I made the mistake of getting my cartilage pieced in an act of rebellion against my mother. "Let me give you the number to my mother's favourite plastic surgeon, Dr. Sven Esterfeld; she _swears_ by him," Eliza offered.

But that wasn't me.

Sweeter after difficulty; my life's coming back together... I'm finding out who I am and who I want to be, after the difficulty I experienced that placed me here.

After years of just following the crowd, never leading; years of pretending, not discovering who I was and who I needed to be; I was sick of being a fabrication.

But there was time to figure "me" out now, and I had the perfect partner in crime. We both wanted out of our old lives. We both wanted excitement; we both wanted to make mistakes and be irresponsible.

I thought about the way Bella's eyes lit up when she saw the tattoo parlour as we walked down the sketchy side streets of Seattle she insisted on taking rather than the safer districts.

"It's more _fun_ this way!" she exclaimed, grabbing my hand and dragging me through dark alleyways past homeless men and drug dealers. I shrugged my shoulders and went along with it, ignoring my conscience that told me to start using my head already and stop acting so irresponsible.

But the way her eyes grew wide upon seeing the sign that read "Pierced Hearts Tattoo Parlour"—I couldn't deny her such happiness.

"Nessieeeeee!" she squealed, jumping up and down like a kid in a candy store; "Can we pleeeeease?!"

I deliberated for a few seconds but gave in because she was doing these ridiculous puppy dog eyes that I knew would result in her getting her way with Cullen, and I had direct "orders" from him to make her happy, soo... in all fairness I didn't have a choice.

Plus, my job of "babysitting" Bella had become a lot more fun and a lot more than a tedious task like I thought it'd be. We were actually bonding. She was actually a frickin cool girl. And to be honest, fuck Cullen. He was the one who did this to her, and I was just going to make her happy because I was her friend. None of this was for him anymore.

Bella Swan was my best friend, and nobody was getting in between us.

Even though I was friends with Alice and Rosalie too, they weren't cool like Bella was. Bella was just so much more... original. Fresh. Exciting.

And even though she was broken beyond all repair, I'd rather be with someone broken than fake.

I didn't really care for Rosalie's 'sexier than thou' attitude nor did I buy Alice's 'more Park Avenue than thou' attitude. Puh-lease. I lived on Park and she's not Park. She's just plain _snobby_.

So even though I was so happy they accepted me as a friend, and was very grateful I wasn't rejected by the "in" crowd, I had more fun "finding myself" through Bella. Although she was depressed most of the time, the times when she grew wild with excitement over something like driving dirt-bikes or getting tattoos, I was just so excited to go along with her.

Thus the story of why I have a tattoo on my ribcage burning a hole through my skin.

And which is why Bella talked me into the whole thing, despite it being every mother and father of the Upper East Side's worst nightmare. Right now, I didn't have parental units to disapprove, so who cared?

"Come onnn Nessie I'm not doing this alone. Get something. Get something small because you're so unadventurous and _boorrring_," she taunted, sticking her tongue out like the brat she could be.

"Bell, I'm _not_ getting a tattoo and that's final!" I replied firmly, crossing my arms over my chest.

The massive bald tattoo artist standing behind the counter wasn't entertained by our bickering in his shop, but screw him, it was his job to sit and listen to friends convince each other to get tattoos and make terrible, permanent mistakes. He was just there to take our money.

We bickered for a long time and then I decided on something simple and discreet, and I was initially a little skeptical to have this bald man touching my body but whatever, he was professional about it.

Everything was good and under control until I saw what Bella had chosen to get done.

"You're getting _that_?" I asked; my voice thick with judgement and all sorts of disapproval.

"Oh shut up. It's so _me_."

Couldn't argue that; and it was certainly the new Bella, the Bella I was encouraging, so she could forget about the old Bella, the one who was moping around all the time and wallowing like an emo kid. We didn't have emo kids down on Park, but whatever. I didn't want Bella being like that. Bella the rebel was so much more... entertaining. And fun.

"Whatever; do it," I replied, letting her defeat me.

And it didn't look half bad either. From what I could tell, it was some sort of heart – not a heart in the sense you'd think, but a real heart, like the kind that's in your chest, with real arteries and stuff, made to look like an apple because it had the leaves at the top; wrapped around it was a teal coloured snake.

"What's it mean?" the tattoo artist asked after he'd sketched it out on a piece of paper to her satisfaction.

"It's a secret," she replied, giving the man a seductive raise of her eyebrow and a smirk, and I gave her the look that said 'really? Are you gonna fuck him too?' because she'd been all promiscuous with herself, not in fucking but saying she wanted to fornicate with every other guy that walked her path.

Until now I'd been convincing enough to talk her out of them, because five minutes after doing the act she'd regret it. That's just how she'd been with everything else lately, but I'm sorry, fucking around was a different thing altogether. We could get drunk, get tattoos, do drugs, but I was _not_ going to sit around and watch my friend become a hussy; nor would I associate myself with one.

Currently, in addition to nursing my wound, I was waiting for Bella to get her butt over here. She thought it'd be a good idea to break into the Cullen's mansion and steal his car because she didn't have one of her own and I didn't want to drive around in the Prius that screamed "I want your vajay."

Since our first mission failed terribly -- Aro caught us, because he's some kind of superhuman with security skills better than the guards at the Plaza, and called the police, which resulted in a very big lecture from Esme about trespassing and breaking and entering and attempted grand theft auto – we decided to just ask Alice to get it for us.

"You really think it's a good idea to steal Edward's car?" she questioned when proposed our scheme to her.

We had to spend an hour convincing her, my argument (which I snuck in behind Bella's back) being "he wants her to be safe, let her drive his car so he knows she's safe, or else its Jake's dirt bikes." She couldn't argue that.

So thus we had a vehicle to continue our reckless escapades. This evening's plan was to party hard at Emmett's debauchery and then leave early the next morning for a weekend in the city.

It was going to be the weekend when I told, or showed I suppose, Bella my "past." She'd probably hate me and call me a huge spoiled bitch and a phoney, which was partially true, but she'd forgive me. She would forgive me because she'd understand where I was coming from, hopefully.

I heard a flustered knocking on my door and eased myself up off the couch. By the time I was fully seated, careful not to hit my tattooed spot on anything, Bella was already running toward me.

"EEEEEEEEEEE NEW YORK!!!" she squealed, running up to me and giving me a huge hug.

"OW! BELLA!" I pushed her away, lifting my shirt up to readjust the patch that was covering my tattoo. "You whore."

"Oh shut up bitch, suck it up," Bella replied, flopping down on the couch. "So," she began, grabbing the remote and flicking on the television, "McCarty's party, get shitfaced, pass out, then New York City in the AM?" she proposed. She settled on the movie channel; Transformers was currently playing.

I smoothed the patch back down carefully and took a seat beside her. "That's the plan. We can take the Volvo; I'll get gas," I offered.

"Ha, as if we have to actually buy gas. Edward's got a special account at the gas station by Forks. They fill it up, full service and everything, then wave me off right after, assuming I'm his girlfriend or some crap," she said, her voice venomous when she said 'girlfriend.'

"Sounds great," I replied, hoping this discussion about Edward wouldn't continue. I focused back on the movie; it was at the part where Megan Fox is leaning over the car and her body looks so perfect and I can't help but hate her for it. "Ugh look at that body; simply perfection."

"Hmph," Bella snorted. "Cullen fucked her too you know," she said nonchalantly.

Wait. What?

"You're joking, obv," I said.

She gave me the 'fuck you' eyebrow raise and shrugged her shoulders.

"Ugh!? Really?"

"Yah well at least he screwed you after," she said, kicking her feet up on the coffee table.

"Bell-" I began; I knew I brought up a sensitive subject.

"No, no Ness. You know it's true. He told me himself. He used us both though, alright? She," she pointed at Megan Fox mid-ass shot, "is more his type than us."

Fair enough to let her think that. I was only out to protect Bella, be her friend, make her happy; that didn't involve telling her that Edward loved her more than life itself and was probably miserable and wallowing beyond all reason wherever he went.

"I think I have some friends in NYC you'd like to 'meet'" I said, wiggling my eyebrows suggestively.

"I always like 'meeting' new people," Bella replied, flashing a devilish grin.

Manhattan boys, eat your heart out. They wouldn't be able to resist Bella because she was just _so bad_. Totally opposite of the typical Upper East Siders. They were just drugs and alcohol badass. We were tattoo, dirt biking and drugs and alcohol badasses.

"Jake's crashing the party; he didn't receive a proper invite but who give s a shit, he'd done so well at Edward's last hurrah who's going to kick him out?" Bella said, getting up instantly. "Come on. We have to get ready. _Sexify_ ourselves."

Bella was in a particularly good mood today which was completely refreshing. She usually only got this happy after a few pills.... wait.

"Bell did you take anything today?" I said, grabbing her arm to examine her pupils.

"UM what?" she spat, "Don't think I can be this fun without the help of some special blue pills?"

Her eyes were completely out of focus, darting all over the place rapidly; pupils slightly enlarged.

"Bell.........?" I asked again, in a warning voice. "Did you take anything without me?" I pressed again. My only rule was if she was taking something, I was there with her, taking it too. It was safest that way.

"Gah," she dismissed me by waving me off of her. "You're no fun today Nessie. So what, I popped a few before coming. Nothin' the doctor didn't prescribe," she said referring to the Prozac her aunt had given her.

"How many?"

She looked at me with an unsettling amount of focus, zoning her dark eyes into mine. She grabbed me by the shoulders and brought her face close to mine. "A few," she pronounced slowly. "Now COME ON!" she broke away from me quickly, nearly knocking me over. "You're wasting sexification time, ALICE."

Oh that was a low blow. Alice was just a downer, trying to ruin all our fun. I was actually being a concerned friend of Bella's.

"Alright, whatever. You _seem_ to be acting normal enough," I said, totally believing my own lies. "Maybe you should pop a Valium before drinking though, calm your nerves and stuff." Sounded like a good idea.

"Yeah, k. Emmett's got some at his place, his mom's a nutso. Like literally," she came closer to me, lowering her voice to a whisper as if there were people all around us. "I found out from Rosalie that Emmett's mom's been living with some Dr. Livingston something-or-other for her insanity," Bella dished, eyes widening at my peaked interest. "Yep, true story," she said, nodding her head decisively.

"Well then, he's probably got some good stuff at his place."

----

At eight-thirty sharp we pulled into Emmett McCarty's beautiful home which, like the Cullen Mansion, had been passed down from generations of wealthy McCarty's.

Wasn't _quite_ a mansion though, but it was still really big, and really impressive.

I noticed lots of vehicles parked haphazardly along the beautiful grass; something I was sure the Senator wouldn't be too thrilled about.

"Where is Senator McCarty anyway?" I asked, curious to know how come Emmett was throwing the big party this time.

"Um, dunno; Rose says he's out of town like ninety percent of the time anyway, visiting his wife and working and stuff. He isn't around much. Probably doing Senator stuff," she answered, stumbling on her own feet on her way through the entryway, grabbing my arm to steady herself. She burst into a fit of giggles at her clumsy drunkenness.

She was already pretty buzzed from the Prozac-Valium concoction and the couple shots we took as we got dressed, which in reality was more like getting _un_dressed. We'd changed out of our jeans and tee attire into jeans and skimpy bar tops that barely covered our bodies.

Bella insisted on wearing this cornflower blue top that looked fabulous against her creamy skin but revealed a bit too much of it; her boobs were practically popping out of the sides, leaving barely anything to the imagination. She wanted to make a point of showing off her new tattoo, which I suppose made sense. It was a backless top that tied at the nape of the neck, which I fastened into a bow so the tattoo would be clearly visible; it left her back completely bare, save for the very bottom of the shirt which was so loose-fitting I was afraid for her if she encountered a gust of wind. The front had a huge slit going down it, showing off a generous amount of cleavage.

Guys would go wild over her tonight though, especially Mike Newton.

"Bellaaa, looking good," I heard a guy holler out to her, and sure enough, there was Newton, grinning like an idiot with his two thumbs up. He was quick at this picking-chicks-up game, but I wasn't buying it. I mean sure, was cute enough, but totally pathetic, and the fact that he was shunned by the "in" crowd was enough to keep me away from him. But not Bella; she was desperate for attention from any guy, and rightfully so. Edward Cullen had basically told her she was uglier than Rosie O'Donnell.

I wore a coral coloured spandex spaghetti strap camisole that hugged my body so tight I was afraid I'd pop out of it if I breathed. Somehow Bella had talked us into dressing like this; my outfit explained why every guy's eyes were on me this very minute.

I scanned the room in hopes of finding Bella before she ran off with some random stranger who said as much as "hi" to her, seeing as that's all it would take to get into her pants these days, and spotted her seated on a burgundy leather couch with guys flocked around her; some I recognized, most I didn't. I was instantly relieved when I spotted Jake sitting in the crowd of guys, who were now cheering her on as she took shot after shot after shot.

Oh, Bella.

"Bella, you're going to be so wasted, you're not even going to last five minutes," I said, entering the room -- its designs looked reminiscent of an elite hunt club; leather couches, dark wood everything, rich fabrics, wooden mallards; it also appeared to be an office of some sort seeing as it had a huge antique desk in the centre and a green leather office chair behind it. I also noticed a brass banker's lamp with a green glass lampshade; very typical of law offices and the like.

"Bella! You made it!" Emmett bellowed as he entered the room, looking around for something. "Yo guys, don't touch the desk, alright? Top secret shit's stored in here," he said, rummaging around the desk for something. "Here, why don't we get outta this room altogether," he grabbed a lighter off the desk and proceeded out of the room, Bella and her friends shuffling out. I followed, not sure whether I should trust Bella alone.

"Hey Nessie?" Emmett motioned me over into the hall where he was standing once everyone had moved into the billiards room.

"McCarty, you throw a good party," I said. He took me by the hand and led me up the stairs, and I wondered what the hell we were doing.

"Yah, thanks Nessie. Is Bella sauced or what?" he asked rhetorically, seemingly distracted by something.

"Totally eh? She's all over the place. I'm glad Jake's keeping an eye on her; I think Newton just about released in his pants when he saw her," I joked.

Emmett let out a hearty laugh and smiled, revealing those adorable dimples.

"Where's Rosalie?" I asked.

"Rose is downstairs, with Alice, keeping an eye on Bella. There's top secret shit going down up here. You can't say a word to Bella alright?" he paused to look me in the eyes, and took me by the shoulders. "Alright?" he repeated.

"Yah, alright," I agreed, not quite sure what I was getting myself into.

"Alright," he confirmed. He sighed loudly and opened a door at the end of the hall he'd led me to, and I followed him inside.

It seemed to be his bedroom; it had a pretty decent sized bed with plaid flannel sheets on it, trophy cases stocked full with gold trophies, medals, and jerseys. Nothing compared to Edward's bedroom, but that's to be expected.

"Sit," he instructed, pointing to the bed.

I did as I was told and waited; he left the room momentarily and returned with Jasper and _HOLY LORD_ I'd have been less surprised if it was Jesus Christ himself who entered the room.

Edward Cullen waltzed in behind Jasper, wearing a baseball cap that was lowered down, his Ray-Ban Wayfarers, a dark grey hoodie over top of a white polo, ragged looking cargo shorts (that was the style though, they were clearly Abercrombie), and a pair of nicely worn in Sperry Topsiders deck shoes, in brown leather. From the shades and cap he was clearly trying to be incognito, which sorry bud, wasn't going to work. Any girl would be able to spot him out in a crowd of a thousand guys because that's just how one-in-a-million he was.

"EDWARD?" I jumped up off the bed, my voice a hell of a lot louder than I'd intended. "What the fuck?!" I would have been in less disbelief if I had seen a ghost.

"Shhhhhhhhh!!" the guys all hushed me at the same time.

"Bella can't know he's here, alright?" Emmett asserted, walking over to the door and locking it.

Good god. I was in Emmett McCarty's bedroom, sitting on his bed, with Jasper, Emmett and Edward looking at me. _What was going on._

"What the hell is going on?" I snapped, knowing these guys were up to no good. "And been sailing lately?" I motioned at Edward's attire, and also the subtle tan I noticed on his body.

Edward chuckled and I knew right then why Bella fell in love with him so easily; taking one look at his beautiful face as he looked up at me; his chiselled jaw, the way his clothes fit on his perfectly sculpted body, and the way his voice sounded when he laughed, coarse and sexy and _fuck me_... good god I was smitten.

He raised his hands to his sunglasses to take them off and I noticed those long, slender fingers, and all the wonderful things he could do with them, and those strong hands rubbing up and down my.... NO _NESSIE_!! BAD!

I quickly shook the thought out of my head and brought myself back down to earth.

"Jasper, Emmett, EDWARD.... you guys have some explaining to do here," I said, resting my hands on my hips and tapping my foot impatiently.

Emmett's eyes kept darting to the door; he looked paranoid as hell.

I sat back down on the bed, crossing my knees.

"Before we get to that, I just want to say you're looking rather," he took a minute to check me out without any discretion as he searched for a word; "rather... _perky_ tonight," Edward said, a shit-eating grin forming on those perfect lips, slightly turning up on one side, and his eyes darkening like they did when he was making a witty remark that he knew would get a rise out of me.

"It's nice to see your holiday hasn't changed you too much Edward," I observed as he took a seat beside me on the bed. I leaned back, placing my hands behind me on the bed and gave him a good glare.

I knew he was here for some reason or another and I wanted to find out.

**A/N: Hope you liked it! xox Now go read some of Leon's stories! **

**Leon: BETCHA DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING?! And no, this is not a late April Fool's prank. For reals. And dang, how much of a horndog is Nessie? Then again, it IS Edward we're talkin' 'bout...**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Hi guys! Grey-Eyed-Blonde here. I hope you like this chapter, it's EPOV, which is always my favourite to write. **

**Thank you so much for all of you who have been reading and reviewing our story. If only **_**all**_** of the readers would review, then our lives would just be complete. PS – I'm sorry to all those who didn't like the last chapter. Please stay with me though! I promise the happily ever after is in sight! **

**I want to thank Leon for his beta services and co-writing awesomeness.**

**  
Thank you so much zgirl21 for spreading the word about FA. She's got some **_**awesome**_** stories too – check them out!! **

**This chapter is dedicated to wayfarers and topsiders. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight, but I do own this story -- *cough* grey-eyed-**_**bitch**_** *cough* **

**EPOV**

With my unbelievable debating skills as well as that special talent that enabled me to charm the pants off any woman I spoke to, I was able to convince Rosalie to let me come up to Forks to retrieve her boyfriend and Jasper.

"You're such a sweetie, Edward. What the hell happened to the Dickward we're all used to?" she teased when I told her I was lonely and needed my bro's back in St Tropez with me. I also might have let it slip out that I was desperate to see Bella.

An agreement was met between Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rose and myself that allowed me to jet over to Forks, sneak into Emmett's, chill there while he partied and said his goodbyes, and then take him and Jazz to St Tropez with me for a couple weeks.

They'd tell everyone they were visiting me but Bella wasn't allowed to know where I was, no matter how much she pried. And if she threatened to do something stupid (which from what I've heard was her new method of persuasion) they'd tell her I was in Australia or somewhere that she couldn't possibly reach with her limited resources.

And sure I'd be thrilled to have Jasper and Emmett with me at my villa; I was fuckin depressed as shit there, no matter how many times the twins walked around the house naked.

They were fuckin awesome roommates too; they cooked and kept after themselves and Carlisle had sent over some maids to take care of us so basically it was the three of us hanging out all day; them doing the occasional modelling shoots, studying, and constantly getting it on, while I got high and did dick all.

Despite our language barrier, I'd gotten to know them pretty well in my time with them. They told me they'd both tried the "boy" thing but when they stumbled upon themselves in a three-way with Gigi's ex-boyfriend Antonio, they realized it was the two of them wanting each other and poor Antonio just had to sit back and watch.

They then offered to have a threesome with me if it would cure my depression, but I told them I needed them to be my friend more than I needed sex; I informed them that they could still walk around the place naked though because that I didn't mind so much.

And man, having chicks as friends wasn't such a bad thing after all. I wondered why I never thought to do that before. I guess it's because every chick I ever befriended instantly became a fuck buddy, and since I don't want any strings with my fuck buddies, I didn't let them chill with me outside of all our sex. But damn, these twins? They were incredible listeners. And empathetic as shit. I felt like a pussy but I didn't care; I didn't have to exude my hypermasculinity to them and it was nice letting my guard down once in awhile. It was like having my own personal lesbian shrink service with me twenty-four seven. I had a shrink back in Forks when my mom left, but that was completely different. He was some old overweight guy who tried to use "hip" terms which made him sound pathetic, and tried to "relate" to me which only made him seem like a pedophile. When he offered to throw a slumber party with just the two of us in his office, I ran and never returned.

So although times were chill in St Tropez, I was still depressed as fuck. I needed some Prozac or some shit. Lots of it.

And even though I convinced myself I was only going to Forks to retrieve Emmett and Jazz, I knew that was a load of crap.

The real reason I was coming down to Forks was to see Bella. It was driving me insane. I couldn't go another day without seeing her. I texted Jasper thirty-two times a day asking about Bella to the point where he had prompted an automatic message reply every time I texted him reading: 'I'll call you if something happens,' basically cutting off my twenty-four seven live feed of Bella's every move.

Although being back here in Forks was fuckin incredible, I was in a bind. If I was caught – if Bella saw me, she'd be depressed as shit too, and try and get back with me and I didn't have the strength to stay away from her, let alone push her away when she begged me to take her back. That shit stung hard last time, and I wouldn't let her suffer like that again. And personally, I don't think I could restrain myself from taking her and fucking her senseless if she asked me to take her back.

The party was a perfect time for me to sneak over to Emmett's place and see everyone, and they were all cool with me hanging out there provided I didn't let Bella see me. They missed me, or so they claimed.

Even though that would be fucking impossible and likely dangerous for me to test my limits with Bella in such close proximity, I think I convinced myself enough that it wasn't in her best interest to see me, so I trusted myself. I could see her from afar but that was it. Creepy as hell, but I was desperate.

Hence my pathetic disguise of my Wayfarers and a baseball hat. I felt like that douchebag actor, the one in the movie about those vampire books – Sunlight or something it was called; yah, that guy. The tool that always walked around looking like he'd just rolled out of the ditch (probably reeked like it too) with his shades and dishevelled hair; I mean come on, couldn't he afford a stylist? Alice once dared to draw a similarity between us, calling him my celeb lookalike, so I told her she looked like Pete Wentz, which shut her up pretty quickly. I swear to god she took hair style tips from him sometimes.

I was really psyched that I'd made it this far unseen though. Fuckin risky as hell. My sketchy disguise must have worked.

My coming here would work out well because Emmett and Jasper would fly back with me and chill in St Tropez and we'd get drunk and high, go sailing and party all the time till it was time for them to leave, at which time I would go back to moping and being as pathetic as the kid who didn't get any presents at Christmas. Whoever that was.

"What are you doing here?" Nessie pressed for the fifteenth time, tapping her little stiletto impatiently. _What the fuck, simmer down woman._

"What are you doing here?" she asked again, each time getting louder and more irritated.

"It's nice to see you're fitting in swimmingly Nessie," I said dryly, referring to her appearance more than anything else. When I left Forks she was all granola and yoga at sunrise on a Muskoka dock and all but now she was a wastecase; complete with sixteen layers of makeup and a noticeable lack of modesty to her clothing.

She released a frustrated "gah" and tossed her head back dramatically, then rolled her eyes. Her eye goop was so heavy I could barely see her pupils.

"I'm here to bring these two kids back to... to _x_ with me," I answered reluctantly, motioning to Jasper and Emmett. I wasn't sure if Nessie could be trusted anymore; she seemed to be pretty fuckin persistent about why I was here in the first place; pretty defensive. I didn't want to tell her too much. "Anyway, what's it to you?"

"Bella's my best friend," she began matter-of-factly.

"Wait. What? Your _best_ friend? She thinks I fucked you and you're best friends?" _Jesus this is fucking weird._

"Whatever Edward, she needed somebody. Anyway, if you dare do so much as walk out of this bedroom, I think I'll have to get Jake to kill you."

I burst out into laughter. "Jake Black is going to kill _me_?" I asked incredulously. Emmett stiffened and straightened up beside me, tightly balling up his fists which made his knuckles crack.

"You don't realize the impact of what you've done to her. You've _broken_ Bella. And I'll be damned if all my efforts of helping her get back to normal are gone to waste because you decide to turn up again like the fucker you can be," she spat venomously.

_Jeez. _

"Alright, Nessie. I won't go near her, I promise," I said sincerely. If it was for Bella, I'd do anything.

"Scout's honor," Jasper added. "I'll make sure of it." I rolled my eyes at Jasper, who was actively taking in the scene, his eyes wide with anticipation.

"K guys, I'm going to check on my party. I don't want my shit getting broken because the delinquents of Forks can't control themselves. And I should prolly check on Bella, considering how she's dressed," he said, cupping a hand over his mouth once he realized what he said.

"WHAT?!" I shouted, not wanting to hear how my girl, my fucking girl, was down there dressed scandalously and I was just gonna sit up here and pretend like I don't want to kick the ass of every guy who laid eyes on her. Motherfucker, I hated my goddamn temper.

"Shit son," Jasper said, inching toward the door. "I'm peacing. See ya in the AM buddy" he said, lightly punching my arm.

I was sick of his blatant disregard of my influence in the room; he was boning my cousin and as much as the thought made me sick, he should try and show some respect to me for permitting that union.

"Fuck, Whitlock, we're not done either. I still need to tell you what I'm going to use to cut off your genitals if you so much as look at Alice disrespectfully," I warned.

"You've got bigger issues, dude," he shrugged his shoulders, then slinked out of the room.

Goddamn.

"Well is she dressed like _you_?" I directed at Nessie, strongly emphasizing that she looked like a street hooker. A classy street hooker, but still.

"Dude, Nessie looks like Mother Theresa compared to Bella. Plus she's got some sick ink on her neck, like some snake and heart and shit. It's deep," Emmett said, not trying to make me feel better at all.

What the fuck. I leave for a month and shit hits the roof all around.

"You let her get tattooed?" I shot an irritated glance at Nessie. "And Emmett, we're not done either. Fuck, what the fuck happened. I'm gone for a month and you kids take it upon yourselves to let Bella fuck herself over."

"Haha, oh Edward, you have no idea," Nessie said sardonically. "It's because of me she hasn't let every guy fuck herself over. It's because of me that she hasn't slept with Newton, Jake, the kid around the corner, the variety store guy, umm let's see," she paused, tapping her temple pretending to think "the tattoo guy, Alice's father, my aunt Mimsy..."

"Oh, ok. I get the idea. I owe you thanks for cock blocking my girlfriend's conquests," I replied sarcastically. "Goddamn why did I ever return to Forks."

"In case you forgot, you _dumped_ your girlfriend and destroyed her to shit. So I think you need to stop pretending like you actually have a reason to be here and maybe you should make an early trip back to your little beach or wherever you came from. Your private island," she sneered.

"Oh please Renesmee. As if I have a private island. That's pretentious. And you were aware of the circumstances and you went along with it. She thinks you fucked me. You were all in support of the whole thing until now; I know what I did was shit, but at least I'm not sitting there pretending like I had no part in making her miserable. You fucking lied to her. Whether it was for me or not, you still lied. So quit your holier than thou act and just... whatever. Forget me. Make Bella forget me, and you're good to go. I owe you. What do you want? Money? Huh? A gold star?"

Just as we were in the middle of our power struggle over who was doing a better job of protecting Bella I heard a knock on the door. What the fuck.

Was the door locked? I glanced at Emmett who glanced at the door then looked at me. He looked panicked.

"Uh don't come in!" he hollered, his eyes darting back and forth between me and the door.

They clearly didn't hear him or care about what he'd said because the door flung open; Mike Newton was carrying some chick with a blue shirt on, her boobs practically hanging out of the thing. She barely looked conscious, her limp body hanging there, her only support being Newton. Poor girl. Another victim of the roofie cocktail.

I was about to go over and kick Newton's ass for trying to rape a girl in Emmett's bed or whatever the fuck he was doing; likely something involving fucking, and that shit was just uncouth to do in another guy's bed, but before I could get my fist in his face, Nessie threw me down on the bed and climbed on top of me, grabbed my hair with her fists, and began making out with me.

"Mphf what the fuck!?" I muffled from under her, trying to push her off me but she was fucking smothering me to shit. I managed to break away from the dominating hold she had on my mouth and scanned the room for Emmett, who'd apparently left the room. Thanks bud. Leave me in here with a Newton orgy.

"Go along with it," Nessie hissed in my ear. Since I had no control over what was happening in my life anymore, I just laid back, defeated, and let her gyrate against my body trying to get away with whatever the fuck she was up to. I wouldn't fucking kiss her though; she was enough of a bitch to turn me off that for good, and I'll be damned if I ever kiss another girl that's not Bella ever again.

I wrapped my arms around her waist so I could prop myself up enough to look behind Nessie and that's when I saw _her_.

Mike Newton was holding Bella. My fucking Bella.

For a minute I was completely stunned by her beauty, taking it all in hungrily. She was drop dead gorgeous; her hair was shiny and her face was more beautiful than I could have remembered. To say she looked good was an understatement; though she looked skinner than I'd seen her before which was a little disconcerting.

But she was drunk. And her shirt left nothing to the imagination. I couldn't fucking sit here and watch fuckin Newton fuck my girl. No fuckin way.

I grabbed Nessie by the waist and flipped her underneath me so I was on top. She panicked and tried to fight me off but I didn't fucking care. I'd have smothered her with a pillow to keep her hands off me so I could save Bella, throwing my manners out the window.

I broke free of her grip quite easily now that I was enraged to the point where I could kill Newton; the fucker wasn't even paying attention to what the fuck was going on in the room.

Newton was carelessly holding Bella in his arms, smiling proudly like a hunter bearing his latest catch. Bella's head was dangling and she didn't even have her eyes open—that's how drunk she was. Was she even conscious?

Just as I was ready to land a powerful blow to his face, Emmett and Jasper ran into the room followed by Rosalie and Alice.

"Bella, what the fuck are you doing?! Do you really want to fuck Mike Newton?!" Alice screeched, running toward her and slapping her face lightly to bring her to consciousness.

"What the fuck'd you give her? Date rape you son of a bitch?" I spat at Mike, and his jaw dropped when he realized it was me.

"I wannaaaa fuck anyone who's not Edward," Bella blurted out, swinging her legs around, her eyes still closed. She began choking on something, presumably vomit, and I couldn't fucking watch this. I needed to be helping her.

Before I could move Nessie managed to wrap her legs around my waist and dragged me back down to the bed and this time I went along with it. I was fuckin enraged but Jazz had just safely removed Bella from Newton's arms and Emmett would fuck him up good for me.

I opened my mouth to talk but Nessie clasped a hand over my mouth. "Shhh don't let her hear your voice," she murmured into my ear. "It's for her best!" she hissed, frantic and fearful for what I'd do next.

What the fuck was I supposed to do? Fuck's sake.

"You, me, outside," Emmett said, grabbing Newton by the collar. "You're gonna wish your mother was never born."

"My mother?!" Newton squeaked, trying to fight his way out of Emmett's grip which was proving to be a futile pursuit. He was swinging his fists around trying to sock Emmett but Emmett had an iron grip on him, and just grinned, completely gratuitous for having a reason to kick Newton's ass.

"Yah, your mother," Emmett repeated, his voice now husky with rage; "so she wouldn't have to see how fucked up her boy's gonna look tomorrow." _That sounded promising._

"Bella, we have to get you somewhere to rest," Alice gently urged, affectionately tucking Bella's hair behind her ear. Jasper laid her down on the bed, right beside where Nessie was pretending to fuck me.

"Naaaaaw," she slurred, wriggling around on the bed. She opened her eyes and I jumped up, flipping Nessie down beneath me, and got off the bed and fuckin turned my back to her so she couldn't tell it was me.

"Nessie's getting luck-ayyy," Bella said, giggling at her own incoherence. "I wanna three-way with you Nessie."

_Mother of God. _

"I gotta go," I whispered to Alice. "Make sure she's safe."

I took one last look at Bella, and that was a huge mistake.

Not because we met eye-to-eye; but because we met eye-to-eye and she didn't even realize it was me. Her eyes just glazed over with a vacant stare, as if she was hypnotized. From what (profuse) experience I had with drugs, I could tell she was high on a lot of different things, and that fucking scared me.

I felt sick to my stomach and fucking bolted down the hall and out of the house outside where I saw Emmett pinning Newton up against his house.

"Let me in," I said, pushing Emmett out of the way. Newton likely hadn't been hit yet, but he looked fucking terrified. "Listen you son of a bitch," I said, grabbing him by his shirt collar, throwing him up against the wall. "You fucking so much as LOOK at Bella again and you're fucking DEAD. You hear? Fucking DEAD." I released him and he stumbled away frantically, squealing like a pig.

"Where's Bella?" Emmett asked, throwing his arm around my shoulder, completely disregarding the previous scene. "And hey, you look rough, man. I didn't realize, but dude, you look fuckin rough," he said, looking me in the eyes. "You need us, eh?"

I took a deep sigh. I was defeated. "Ya, I need you guys. And Bella's in the house; Alice, Nessie and Jasper are taking care of her. Fuckin Jasper. What a goddamn saint."

"Yeah well, no matter how hard he's been trying, Bella's not doing too good either. I didn't think it was a good idea for you to see her, because, hell, she's different, man. She's not the same Bella you left behind and nobody can bring her back. Plus Nessie's encouraging her to 'find herself' or some shit and apparently that's done through drinking, drugs, tattoos, dirt biking-"

"Dirt biking? Are you fucking kidding me?" I tried to keep my anger at bay so I'd hear all the details from Emmett, but it was hard, man. It was hard.

"Well, uh, yah. Jake and the two girls have been getting kinda... adventurous I guess you'd say," he led me in the back door of his house so as to avoid the party inside. The house was nearly shaking from the pulsing music, and I was glad Bella was at least in the care of Alice, Jasper and Nessie rather than in the middle of that shitshow. "Edward, you have to let her go." Emmett said sincerely, placing his hand on my shoulder for comfort. "You just have to, man."

Emmett rarely gave advice, but when he did it was important, and best to be taken seriously. He had witnessed Bella's behaviour the last month and if he thought it was good for her that I let her go, I'd let her live her life the way she wanted to. All I asked was that she was safe, and happy. That's all I ever wanted for her. If that meant me sitting in St Tropez hearing about all the shitty things she was doing that I didn't want to hear about, then damn it all, I'd have to suck it up. I could take the pain, but she couldn't. If being with fuckin Jake would make her happy, so be it. If getting tattooed brought so much as a smile on her face, then fuck it, let her get as many as it takes to keep her smiling.

But I wanted to be masochistic. I was practically Opus Dei now, all into chastisement. Well, I wasn't exactly that hardcore, I mean even though I thought I was roughing it, in reality I was living in a luxury villa in the South of France with two lesbian supermodels. But I was miserable and I wanted to hear about Bella's life even if it meant I was miserable. I knew that's what Emmett meant. He wanted me to let go of her for my sake. I wasn't important. My feelings or whatever didn't matter right now. Fuck my life; I'd gladly embrace it.

I followed Emmett to his bedroom where Bella was now laying, in his bed, looking peaceful and asleep.

Alice and the others had left.

"If the last few parties are any indication, she'll be out for awhile... as in, till the morning," Emmett said, motioning to the bed. "So I'll be going to check on my lady in waiting..."

"Jet's set to leave at noon tomorrow so if you're still coming meet at my place a bit before then," I took a seat on the bed. "I'd offer to pick you and Jazz up 'cept Bella stole my Volvo and I don't want her to see me driving around the Aston; you know, to be safe and all."

Emmett agreed and left the room; I was grateful for everyone giving me a bit of privacy with Bella.

Even though it might have been creepy as fuck that I was sleeping with my passed out ex-girlfriend, I didn't fucking care. All I needed was one more night of smelling her delicious hair, holding her fragile body in my arms, and knowing she was safe. That was enough for me.

I laid down beside her, got under the blankets and wrapped my arms around her tiny body. She smelled like her usual self of strawberries except it as mixed with something different; cigarettes and weed likely. And tequila. I nuzzled my face in her neck which smelled like some sort of ointment, probably what she'd been applying to her tattoo, which looked really fierce actually. I don't know if it was fierce in a good way, or just plain imprudent. From the moon casting light in through the windows I could faintly decipher it as an apple with a snake wrapped around it. Emmett was right; that was some deep shit.

I swallowed, feeling a lump in my throat. My stomach was in knots; my instincts were telling me this wasn't fucking okay.

Bella was different; she'd changed during my absence. She lost herself; she was angry and bitter and I fucking made her that way. I practically handed her the opportunity to destroy her life. What if she got into heroin or some shit?

I thought back to the days when I was so consumed with fucking and chucking women; when I never thought a chick would be able to hold me down worth shit. I didn't even give a damn about women, and here I was now, clutching my ex-girlfriend tightly, cherishing the moment knowing that at this precise moment she was safe in my arms.

I couldn't even imagine feeling this way about a past girl I'd fucked.

I mean, yah I had Tanya and all, but that was more of a mutual fuck-buddy agreement than anything serious; plus we'd been cheating on each other from day one of that seriously misguided union.

But Bella was different; she was everything different and everything good in my life.

I leaned in closer to her and she mumbled something that I couldn't quite make out. She was dreaming; her breathing hitched and she mumbled some more, then a tiny whimper escaped her mouth.

A few little grunts followed the whimper and she rolled over so she was facing me, her little fists balled up and pressed against my chest. She buried her head against my pecs and I scooted down a bit so I was closer to her face and began smoothing my hand down her hair gently to calm her back to a deep sleep.

Once I was sure she was out like a light (likely heightened by the drug cocktails she had messed around with, and mass amounts of liquor) I kissed her head once; a small gesture that I had yearned for so much these last few months.

Looking at her now – peaceful and at ease – she looked like the Bella I'd left behind. The Bella that was sexy as hell, trying to look all badass in those biker boots and so-small-they-should-be-illegal shirts; the Bella that tried to come off as confident, but deep down I knew she was shy, and the blush that rewarded me when I whispered dirty things in her ears... that Bella was innocent, and happy.

That Bella was nothing like the one I saw half an hour ago; intoxicated from alcohol and drugs, angry, and as if she didn't give a damn about her life, drunkenly flailing her arms around while being held by Mike Newton of all people; fuck I knew I was no good for her, but Newton? Why the hell did she have to choose him? And what the fuck was her reasoning behind letting him take her to Emmett's bedroom to screw?

This was all very unsettling. What's worse was I knew I couldn't stay to make her better.

All I could do was enjoy the moment as I held her here in my arms, savouring my last night with her.

**A/N: Voila. Next up is Leon's chapter, so get excited for that! It'll be fucking amazing, as always. Also, if you get a chance, check out Leon's other various works, which are all incredible. That boy's got talent. **


	33. Chapter 33

**Leon**: Alright, here's what you've all been waiting for. I hope you enjoy it. Sorry it took me so long, big change in this chapter.

**Disclaimer**: No. Stop asking me. I'm in denial.

* * *

**Chapter 33**

I awoke to the sound of birds chirping.

"Hrm," I nuzzled against the body next to me. _Finally, I got some_. Nessie deserved a Nobel Prize in cockblocking.

Too bad I didn't even remember any of it. Didn't matter. Again: _finally, I got some!_

With my eyes still closed, I grasped the body next to mine and shoved my face into his neck. I took a deep breath and a gasp escaped me.

What the hell?

No.

Not another dream. I couldn't handle another dream.

I leaned back, removing myself from this person. I opened my eyes slowly as my hands roamed the figure next to me. The light through the shutters made me blink a few times, but once my vision cleared, my breathing hitched.

_Edward?_

I groaned, realizing I was dreaming again. I hated and loved these dreams... my time spent with my Edward, only a sadistic reminder that it was what _could_ have been...

"Shh," he mumbled from next to me, his arms lacing around my back and pulling me back toward him. I sighed into his chest, knowing I should enjoy these nightly sessions. "I want to enjoy sleeping next to you."

"Me too," I replied into his skin, kissing his firm chest.

"I want to love you," he continued, his arms tightening behind me.

"Me too."

"And I want to say I'm sorry for leaving."

_What?_

I sat up, pulling myself from Edward's grasps. His eyes shot open as he sat up with me, looking around for signs of trouble.

"What did you just say?" I asked incredulously. I saw him visibly calm at the lack of distress.

"I wanted to say," he grabbed me and brought my to straddle him, "that I'm an idiot."

"Let go of me," I said as he continued to pull me closer to him. "Let go of me now, Edward!"

He stopped and a defiant, strong glare took the previous weak smile. "No."

"Damn it, Edward, what the fuck is going on here?!" I yelled. I lifted my hand and brought it straight across his face. The slap echoed and I gasped as I saw his cheek redden from the force. But still, his hands did not let go.

Instead, I felt myself being pulled closer, his arms enveloping me in a hug. "Bella, I'm not going to let go of you ever again," he whispered into my ear.

I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder. "What the... what are you doing here, Edward?"

"Bella, just stop talking. No questions. Who cares. Just stay here with me. I can't do it. I thought I could leave, I thought I could stay away, but I can't."

"Edward, you're not making any sense," I told him, shifting my head on his chest to look at him. His face was serene while his eyes were sharp.

"Don't you get it, Bella?" he said, shaking his head. "Don't you see how bad I am for you, for us? That would could get _killed_ just being the one I love?"

"Okay, now you _really_ aren't making any sense," I said, pushing away from him. His grip tightened, holding me close to his chest.

"Bella, run away with me."

"What?" I practically shrieked, looking at him like another head spurted off of his neck.

"Let's go somewhere, anywhere. Saint Tropez, Moscow, Tokyo. Wherever you want," he confirmed, looking me straight in the eyes.

"How do I know this isn't another dream? If it's not, how can I believe any of this?" I found myself asking, laughing weakly as my arms went around Edward's neck, pulling him to me.

"Can a dream do this?" he asked, kissing my neck.

"Lately, all my dreams have been doing that," I answered, tilting my head so his kisses could continue. He stopped immediately and looked at me.

"And who exactly are you dream making out with?" he scoffed, his eyes narrow.

"This one complete idiot," I scoffed right back, taking my turn at nipping at his neck. He groaned and held onto me tighter.

"I don't think I've made this clear enough, but I don't like the idea of sharing you with another man. Let alone another idiot."

"Who said you weren't the idiot," I said, moving my lips up to his cheeks, brushing my lips against the scruff forming.

"So you still love this complete idiot?" I could feel him smile as his cheeks pushed up against my lips.

"I never stopped," I finished, finding his lips with mine and sucking on them as much as I could. My hands latched in his hair and I pushed myself into his body. He returned my actions, his hands cupping my cheeks and holding me to his lips.

"How could you still love me? I mean, I won't let you go, but it's still a little sad, don't you think?" he teased as we broke the kiss. I chuckled.

"Maybe I trust you too much? Maybe it's because my stomach churns when you're not near? Maybe it's because I'd cut a bitch for touching you like this?" I told him as the kisses continued, our pants becoming heavy as we sucked the air from each other.

"Then will you leave with me? Will you stay with me forever?" he asked, stopping the kisses and sitting back to watch my reaction.

"Always, for forever," I whispered as I kissed him deeply one more time.

**The End**

* * *

**Leon**: … really? You didn't honestly believe that, did you? Come on now! I almost caved and finished the story there... but we have plans. Sorry.

To answer your questions: _yes, damn it, there IS a happily ever after! So I say... STFU! _Not really, but calm down. It'll happen at one point in the future. If you keep asking, I'll make sure to write a completely different ending where Bella hooks up with Mike and _they_ live happily ever after while Edward joins the army and gets shot on his first day, m'kay?

Kidding. But really, trust us. I _desperately_ want to write the HEA already and the major lemon Edward's gonna have to give Bella to make up for all this, but we don't want to jump the gun, do we?

Back to the story. I make up for the above by giving you all a _real_ lemon... well, kind of. It's real to you all. Not-so-much to Bella... in a way. Just read and you'll see what I mean.

* * *

**Chapter 33**

I moaned as I turned and latched onto the body by my side. My legs instantly hitched over and under, gripping me to the firmness.

"Whoever you are, you feel fucking amazing," I mumbled as the sleep left me. I still felt like shit, but I got some. I finally fucking got some.

_And the Nobel Prize in Cockblocking does _not_ go to Nessie!_

_'Take that, my bitch.'_

"Shit," the guy hissed, pushing me away. That should have pissed me off, but I didn't care. I rolled over and pulled the blanket over my head, ignoring the figure behind me.

"Let yourself out before they find you," I said drowsily. "Emmett gets pretty pissed if people stay at his party over night."

I felt, rather than heard, the guy edge closer on the bed.

"How are you feeling?" he whispered softly.

"Like shit. Now leave." I swatted behind me, trying to get the guy out of here. I had no reason to pillow talk or cuddle with him.

"Okay," and I felt a kiss on the top of my head as the bed lifted and the guy made a move to leave.

"Wait!" I groaned, surprised by the act of endearment. I tried to twist my body to look at the guy, but two firm hands grasped at my shoulders and held me in place. "What the--"

"Just go back to sleep. It's late," he said quietly. I shook, trying to get out of his grip.

"Get the fuck off of me!" I yelled, struggling roughly, spinning my torso around.

_Edward?_ Fuck, I was dreaming again. At least I could recognize it now.

"What the fu--" I started to scream, but a hand clamped on my mouth.

"Shh, you're going to wake everyone up," he whisper-yelled. I stared at him incredulously. My hand found contact with his face before I even realized I had struck him.

"Shit," he hissed, pulling back and holding his hand to the spot I slapped him.

"Damn," I said, sitting up as I started to see the red form on his face already. "Are you alright?"

I moved closer to him, grabbing his cheeks with my hands and brushing my fingers against it. "I didn't mean to hit you, I was just mad," I answered. I didn't like to strike Edward, even in these dreams.

"Bella, I--" he started, but I cut him off by crashing my lips to his. I groaned as the sparks flew through me, my hands snaking their way to his hair, pulling us closer to each other.

His moans vibrated through me, and I could feel the effect I had on him pressing into my stomach.

"Bella, stop," he panted against my lips. "I can't, we can't--"

"Edward, shut up. I want to be with you for a little longer before I wake up," I gasped as my kisses began to travel along his jaw, back to the sweet spot near his ear.

"Wake up..." he mumbled, his hands finding my waist and pulling me to him. I didn't bother paying attention to what he said—I was too focused on making as much physical contact as possible.

"Say it. Say what I want to hear," I paused my ministrations, looking up to gaze into his eyes. He looked confused as he stared back, frozen on the spot.

We stayed in silence for a few minutes before his hands found my face, cupping them and pulling me into a deep, open-mouthed kiss. "I love you."

_Bingo_.

"I love you, too."

I pulled away, ripping the shirt I was wearing off of me. Edward stopped and his eyes widened just a bit. Faster than I could imagine, his shirt was flying across the room and he had pounced on me, his lips brushing against every visible inch of me. I latched my hands onto his hair, tugging lightly because I knew he liked it.

He had moved down to my breasts, sucking and licking my nipples; his hands were busy grazing against my inner thighs, pulling at the pants I had fallen asleep in. I could feel the ache build between my legs. Edward sensed the force I apply as I thrust my legs together and up, trying to subside the feeling.

"Oh God," he hummed against my skin as our lower bodies met.

"Please, Edward, no teasing. Just hurry," I whined, continuing to buck my hips toward his.

"We can't, I can't," he moaned against me.

"We can, you can—_you will_," I punctuated the final command by wrapping my legs around his and rubbing my body up and down.

"I want to, I want to so badly," he said, his voice strained and tight.

"Now," I whimpered, and I could see him lose all hesitation in his eyes. My pants and panties were pulled down and off, tossed to the side like a unholy rags. I didn't disagree with the sentiment.

My hands found the button and zipper to his shorts, shuffling as I cursed while removing them.

We had paused again—staring at each other, stripped and ready. Edward hovered above me, his eyes so uncertain but willing. Slowly—too slowly—he pressed his body against mine and kissed my lips. Chaste and sweet, but still so satisfying. I parted them and licked his, begging for access.

As my tongue made entrance into his mouth, as our tongues lathered each other, as our hands connected onto the others' face, Edward entered me.

The sparks I had felt from his touches, his kisses, were nothing compared to truly connecting with Edward. My body stretched, accepting him, pulling him closer to me. My walls clenched, tightening around him, holding him to me.

"I miss you so much," I whispered as he began to thrust, still tracing kisses up and down my body.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered back between kisses.

"I know... I just can't believe it... I can't accept that I can only have you here, in my dreams... I can't accept that you aren't a part of my life..." I said, my voice weak with defeat, yet full of passion—only Edward could manage to get this from me.

"We can't be," he told me as my walls began to flutter, and I knew I was close.

"Why? Why can't we be?" I moaned out as he started to thrust harder and deeper.

"We weren't meant to be," he answered with a moan of his own.

"Life sucks, Edward," I chanted his name as I began to milk him, my orgasm taking over. I felt it signal off his own as he stalled within me, his own release filling me.

"I know," he grunted, falling down onto my body, his weight the most comfortable thing in the word as he remained inside me. His kisses continued, everywhere and anywhere.

As the oxygen escaped my lungs, Edward rolled us over, taking me with him into a spooning position. His arm draped over me, pulling me right against his body.

"Go to sleep, my Bella. It'll be okay," he crooned in my ear, rubbing my back and arms. I relaxed into his embrace, letting the calm wash over me before I'd start another day without my Edward.

~*~

The sun was not welcome in the morning. My entire body was sore and stiff... and cold. I jumped out of bed to see nothing on my body—granted, the clothing I sported last night wasn't _too_ covering anyway. I clutched the blanket to my body as I stood and searched for a pair of shorts and a t-shirt from the drawers. I wondered briefly why Emmett didn't wake me up.

"Bella?" a muffled voice came from behind the door. I groaned, knowing Nessie was probably going to bitch about me waking up naked in Emmett's bed, whoever I slept with last night already gone and probably bragging to his friends.

"What?" I called as I pulled on one of Em's t-shirt, lacing a belt around my waist to create an outfit. _'See, Alice? I listen sometimes.'_

"You decent or are you still in the whore-suit?"

"Oh you're _so_ funny, bitch. Get in here," I said, opening the door to find Nessie tapping her foot against the floor, her arms crossed and her eyebrows raised. "Don't give me that look. I _invented_ that look."

"And I invented kicking your ass for being such an idiot," she seethed, grabbing my arm and pulling me toward the stairs.

"Ah, hoe! Stop it or I won't love you anymore!" I laughed, ignoring her mood. She could bitch all she wanted; my day was fine so far and I didn't want shit to piss me off.

"Shut up, we're going home," she mumbled as we stepped into the living room, no one in sight.

"Whatevs," I mumbled back, grabbing a bagel as we walked past the couch and into the kitchen, to the back door where Nessie had parked.

"Don't you 'whatevs' me, I had no idea where you had gone or where you were," she said, stopping and thrusting my body in front of hers to look at me.

"What's your deal? You act like something big happened last night," I rolled my eyes, munching on the bagel. When she didn't say anything, I stopped chewing and looked closely at her. Her eyes were shut and there was a blush on her cheeks. "Wait a minute... did something big happen last night?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she choked out, flustered. I narrowed my eyes on her, but she averted my gaze and pulled on my arm once more.

"Come on, we're going to miss our flight, okay? I can't wait to show you New York. So much fun, and we are totally going to go back during the summer. You're going to love it!" she squealed, and I could tell she was keeping something from me.

But I didn't care.

I never cared.

"`course we are, my slut. Let's get out of this shithole of a town," I laughed along with her, now chaining our hands together as we left the house, left the town, left the state, and most importantly of all, left all reminders of Edward behind.

~*~

The plane ride back from New York was short and perfect. I was buzzed or drunk the entire time in New York and the airline kept the drinks coming on the plane.

And I fucking loved it.

The entire weekend, I clutched to my necklace as guys approached me. I had my release that night in Forks. For now, I just wanted to have fun. Ness and I had a blast—we acted like kids at Coney Island, forgot about sleeping as we went to all the clubs and even fucking plays that I could think of, and finally to relaxing nightlife of 24 hour coffee shops with poetry slams.

I was a fucking pro, or so the guys had told me. Maybe it had to do with my slut-costume. Who gave a shit.

"Heeey Beeeeellssssss," Nessie hissed my name, giggling as she downed the rest of her champagne. "I think we need to send in our approvs for uuuuuniiiiii."

"And I... I think... I think you're _drunk!_" I giggled right back, slapping her hand.

"Well, I knooooow you'reeeeee druuuuunk, like a mouse!" she laughed, letting her head fall back.

"Like a mouse? Mousey mouse, mouse? Why a mouse?" I couldn't stop the rumbles of my laughs breaking through, the entire first class looking at us.

Fucking first class!

"Shut up!" she shrieked, sitting up straight. "I just realized something!"

"Whaaat?" I drawled, quieting down to listen to her intently.

"Hot guys... hot guys get to see themselves naaaaaakeeeed in the shower!" she whined, looking at me with sad, broken eyes. I burst into a fit of giggles, clutching my sides as they began to hurt.

And with that, I knew I could survive this. With my friends, with my laughs, with my memories, I knew I would get by.

But that was all. Get by.

In six months, I was heading to Harvard. I had the money now, I had the grades, and I would fucking show _him_ I could survive there. Fuck Edward.

I fucking loved Edward, but I would show him. I would show him I was good enough for him, and that he could have had me, could have had us.

But we couldn't be.

I didn't stop the tears from falling—I could have blamed that on the laughter. But I fought back the sobs warning to escape me. I wouldn't let them. I had to be strong.

I had to move on.

--

**Leon**: Alright, there you go. In case you're confused, Bella thought she was dreaming—and the drugs didn't help with her mindframe, so that's how it happened. And I just felt really bad for Edward, had to give him some lovin'. NOW he's had sex once in this entire ficcie... and that's it for a while. I'm sure none of you had any complaints (other than "You frackin' suck at writing lemons!").

I promise my next chapter won't be so sucky... well, I _am_ saying "so sucky," so it will suck like the rest of mine do. But not this bad. I've just been on heartfail, and Grey has been so understanding and awesome but I just didn't want to disappoint y'all so I threw this together. Good news? I have a few more stories going on at the moment, all located on my profile (or links to my co-authored ones), and Grey and I have plans for a Geekward story and it is just HILARIOUS! I love working with Grey--it's such an honor, seriously.

Next up is Grey's chapter, with a huge time jump. It's great though, trust me. I love her chapters more than my own by a long shot. Please review—I'll respond to them as best I can!

**Grey**: Hey all! Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews, and to everyone who's been adding our story to their favourites (there's lots of you!). I'm sorry I couldn't reply to reviews this time around -- school has just been ridiculous. I read each and every one of them though, and they are all amazing. You guys are the best! Xx

**Leon: ALSO! Some news! 'grats to Grey, who is going to graduate from college this Thursday and was accepted into one of the most competitive universities in her country! BIG PROPZ TO YOU GREY! Wish her some good luck and a "good job!" in your reviews!**

**edit by Leon:** So, some people (*cough*two trolls*cough*so far*cough*) have mentioned that this is date rape. I'm 100% positive they are the same person, since the accounts were created today and they have nothing on them, plus the account names are similar. Um, no. It's not. Date rape is one person drugging the other and sleeping with them without consent. Bella is the one who submitted and Edward had no idea she was still drugged up at this point. This will all come up later, I promise, but I need to make it clear here and now--it was _not_ date rape and it _was_ an act of love, on both their parts. Promise. If you missed that, then flame away--it only points out how silly you are for not understanding. That's the one thing I'll stand by (feel free to bash my writing--I'm okay with that :D!).


	34. Chapter 34

**Grey-Eyed-Blonde: **No, my beloved readers, Bella was NOT raped in the last chapter. Settle down now. You guys should know by now we wouldn't pull shit like that. Leon wrote a nice little explanation at the bottom of chapter 33. I repeat: NO RAPE. RAPE IS BAD. Only Mike Newton would pull that shit. Edward wouldn't need roofie cocktails to get in a girl's pants. That is all.

Moving on... thanks for all the reviews, you all rock and I love each and every review and reviewer! Thanks also for all the congrats – I'm really flattered by all your kind words. And thanks Leon for adding that in your A/N. Very sweet of you.

Many thanks to Leon for his co-writing awesomeness and Beta skills.

Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight.

* * *

**EPOV**

_August 20th _

"Hey Aro, do I got any new messages?" I hollered as I entered the villa, soaking wet and feeling refreshed from my early morning jog and swim in the ocean. I ran my fingers through my hair then shook my head, sprinkling water droplets everywhere. Aro raised his eyebrow at my jogging attire of swim shorts and sneakers.

"Ah, yes Master Cullen, you have quite a few here," he motioned to the stack of letters on the kitchen island.

"Alright, let's hear them," I braced myself for the stack of what looked like fifty letters and took a seat in front of a huge omelette that he'd prepared for me. Truly the thing I missed most about Aro was his incredible cooking skills. Everything he cooked was influenced by his vast knowledge of gourmet cuisine and was of the highest culinary quality. This was no exception; it smelled and looked delicious. He brought over a tall glass of freshly squeezed orange juice that I chugged down in a single gulp.

I fucking missed having Aro around. He'd been staying in Forks until about a week ago when I accepted an offer at Brown at the last minute and required him to help me pack and pretty much just get my shit together to start school. He already sent the essentials from my bedroom in Forks over to the dorm and was now helping me pack all this crap, because I didn't exactly fold clothes. Plus he had sick ironing skills, which I couldn't very well let go to waste.

Aro cleared his throat and donned his reading glasses, and I couldn't help but snicker under my breath. I covered it up as a cough so I wouldn't embarrass the poor guy. I was used to seeing Aro wear his black butler attire -- you know; black pants, black shoes, black jacket, white shirt -- but since he was hanging with me and the twins in St Tropez I didn't want him to stick out like a sore thumb, so I insisted he wear a pink and white Hawaiian shirt with matching Hawaiian shorts. He looked like an awkward tourist, like Chuck Griswold.

"I hope you don't mind but I've taken the liberty of going through these letters already in the midst of packing, to get rid of any excess you don't need to bring along with you," Aro said.

I had a mouth full of food so I grunted and waved my fork indicating for him to get on with it already.

"Very well; your tuition has been paid in full, you have a receipt here from Brown University; they also sent along the six entrance scholarships you've received, shall I let you know who gave you the scholarships?" He peered over his glasses at me; my mouth was still full so I just shook my head, not giving a damn in the least.

My mind wasn't occupied with any of this crap about entrance scholarships, course selection, or even what school I was attending. It was still consumed with Bella, and more importantly the last thing I heard about her; Bella was well over me and had moved on. Jasper and Alice apparently had a huge falling out with Bella near the beginning of summer and they hadn't spoken since then, and last he knew she was off to New York City for a few weeks with Nessie and Jake to be spontaneous and do drugs. After grilling Jasper about this falling out and accusing him for being an irresponsible prick for allowing said falling out with her while he was supposed to be watching her, he told me she was safe, she moved on, she didn't need daycare. So as much as I wanted to send Jasper to babysit her, and force this duty upon him, he was right; she had to live her life and do whatever the hell she wanted with it. As long as she was safe, I couldn't complain, and Aro assured me that Jake had her best interests in mind, albeit with the wrong intentions... but again, as long as she was safe.

"You received numerous offers to fraternities, shall I list them off?" Aro said, disrupting my focus. He motioned to a second stack of letters which were likely, knowing Aro, alphabetized or some shit. Aro was compulsively organized.

"Uh, I don't think so Aro. Those are sausage houses, aren't they? I don't want to be surrounded by men all the time, I want ladies Aro, you know this. And I mean as appealing as it sounds being the vulnerable young rush being gang beat and tormented with a paddle by the older members, I don't think I need to be part of that, do you? What are your thoughts on fraternities?" I seriously wanted to hear what he had to say. Aro was always worthy of offering sound counsel.

Before Aro could answer, the twins stumbled out of their bedroom looking like they'd just been through twelve romps in the sack and back. Their hair resembled a rat's nest; they had bags under their eyes like they hadn't slept their entire life.

"You ladies enjoy your last night at Chez Cullen?" I asked smugly as they shuffled over to the table. Aro briskly stood up and pulled out chairs for them and served them their weird ass breakfast which consisted of grass and seaweed and oats and stuff blended up and served as a shake. It looked like regurgitated baby formula. They claimed it was good for their complexion or some shit, but I didn't buy it. I wouldn't dare taste that stuff ever.

They were wearing bikinis, presumably to go for their morning surf. They were pro-surfers after being in St Tropez all summer, compliments of my mad surf skills. They started out not being able to stand on the damn board and it tested my patience to try and teach them, but since I'd been taught by the professionals in Hawaii I figured I'd rather teach them than watch them break their ankles.

"Oui, oui, mais je suis vraiment excited to attend the university in America," Gigi said, licking her lips eagerly at the sight of the nasty green vomit drink.

"Gigi you should study languages there, as in French. You'd ace it," I said, walking over to the pile of mail and grabbing the Wall Street Journal.

The girls said something in their foreign language and began giggling with each other, something they did often when I wasn't wearing a shirt.

"You girls missing men yet?" I asked rhetorically, since they'd been eyeing me like a piece of meat the last few weeks. Even though they were clearly into each other – I mean they had sex like eight times a day – they were trying to get me in the sack in hopes of curing my 'depression' or whatever they thought I had. I was convinced I was just bitter. But I missed my narcissistic self.

"Your offer of a threesome is still validity," Julietta said to me, trying to eye me seductively, which normally would've worked since her and Gigi were quite easily two of the prettiest girls I've ever laid eyes on, but I didn't want to break my losing streak. I'd been celibate for nearly a year (save for the one incredible time I had with Bella who thought the whole thing was a dream) so why screw that up with a good thing like sex?

"Ladies, ladies; you girls know you're my only two women in the world right now, so why spoil that with a threesome?" I asked, trying to shake the thought of how incredible that would be out of my head before I actually got tempted.

Aro cleared his throat, indicating he was a little uncomfortable with our discussion. No matter how many times he'd seen the girls' constant PDA he was still unsure how to react. Should he look? Or not look? I could understand how he felt.

"So ladies, fraternities or not?" I asked, hoping that'd draw them away from the idea of a threesome once and for all.

"Oooh! Julietta! Let's be a sorority! Beaucoup des filles!" Gigi exclaimed, her eyes growing wider by the minute.

Julietta, who was always more of the jealous one, snorted at the suggestion which triggered a heated discussion between the two of them in six different languages.

I shrugged my shoulders and motioned for Aro to proceed as I finished off the rest of the omelette.

"So I'll just toss the letters from Alpha Epsilon Pi," he knitted his brows in concentration, "Sigma Chi, Zeta Delta Xi..." he trailed off, trying to decipher the Greek pronunciations.

"Yah, yah, chuck those, what's next," I prompted, kicking my feet up onto the table.

Aro gave me a distasteful look then took his glasses off, placed them on the table, and pushed a small stack of piles in front of me. "These, Master Cullen, are ones that I thought you would want to read yourself."

"Aro, I can't be bothered," I waved my hand dismissively. "The jet takes off in t minus 4 hours and I still gotta pack all my shit and get these twins ready. I'm sure they haven't even begun to think about packing," I said -- they didn't even recognize I had mentioned them; they were still bickering away passionately. It'd only be a matter of minutes until they had to go have their crazy 'make-up' sex that I seriously envied.

"Very well then Master Cullen, but these may very well be of interest to you. They are letters from a secret society," Aro said, lowering his voice. "Skull and Bones, Scroll and Key –"

"Wait, wait, wait," I interrupted him, "I thought those were only for Yale and Harvard and shit. I didn't think Brown had any of those," I grabbed the pile of letters and sifted through them. Sure enough, there was a letter from the Skull and Bones, Scroll and Key, Pacifica House, and Franklin Society, amongst others.

I scanned over the first two which stated that upon being 'revealed' at Yale, they opened secret branches at other Ivy Leagues, such as Brown, Princeton, Yale, etc. I took them to my bedroom and tossed them in my luggage to read later. I was aware of the perks of being a member of one of those secret societies and it didn't surprise me that they sought me out for membership; my grandfather was probably a member. Being a Masen, it was no wonder they wanted me – likely for my Masen reputation and my money.

"Thanks Aro," I said when I re-entered the kitchen. He nodded his head solemnly, respecting the 'don't ask, don't tell,' nature of the secret societies.

"Thought I might as well pass it along, since it's in your blood, Master Cullen," he said reverently then continued to wash the dishes, washing his hands clean of any judgment he might have felt.

"Leave the dishes for the maids," I instructed; "It's more crucial we get the twins ready to go."

----

_September 1st _

I pulled the Aston Martin up to my new home for the next four to eight years, depending on what graduate school I'd attend. I hadn't committed myself to one single faculty; I settled on taking both business and medical science courses so that I could branch out to either of them in the next couple years. I had a feeling though Med Sci wasn't going to work out for me, no matter how much Carlisle has been trying to push me in that direction. Being a doctor had its advantages, but I wasn't really into wanting to help people, and there was a cap on the salary of oh, about eight hundred thousand a year if you work as a specialist or work your balls off like Carlisle and have no life save for fucking nurses in your spare time. As an investment banker I could make sick money and not have to worry about being around blood and sick people. The thought of sick people gave me goosebumps.

I quickly surveyed the building – my new home – I had arranged for myself and a couple of my old travelling buddies. I was lucky enough that one of the fraternities were selling their place so I managed to talk the people at Masen Corp Property Division (a smaller branch of William C. Masen & Co. that I never even knew existed) into thinking it was good for business if we bought up this frat house, fixed it up nice, let me live in it a few years, then sold it back to the university for huge money so they could use it as a residence. They agreed because, well, they had no choice. Whenever me or one of Alice's parents suggested something, they couldn't say shit about it but to go along with it. Since my mom had equal say as her brother, my uncle, she got to make 50 percent of the final calls. Since she was no longer around to deal with such matters, I was in charge of half of it, but since the company had so many investors and all this shit I just kept the main guy, James something or other in charge until I was ready to take over my share so as to not fuck everything up so to speak. In the future Alice wouldn't want to do much with the company either except reap in the benefits, so when I was ready to take over, all company decisions would have to pass by me prior. I would have complete power. _Fuckin eh._

I checked out my rear-view mirror and noticed that Aro was following closely behind in his Lincoln with the twins as well as all my luggage he was hauling around. It couldn't very well fit in the Aston now could it?

I saw some fluffy thing bouncing around in the back of the car through the window and fuck my life. If those girls are living with me we're not having a goddamn poodle or whatever the fuck that creature was. Looked like a small fluffy ball of energy from here. Christ. I was already emasculated from living in complete celibacy while in the company of two of the finest lesbians I'd ever laid eyes on and I'll be damned if they'd push me further by making me walk that dog that screamed 'I'm a homosexual.'

I parked the car in front of the large brick house, noticing the distinct ΑΕΠ wooden letters above the front door. That shit would have to go. Besides, if I were to join a brotherhood, it'd be Sigma Chi all the way. But fraternities seemed too clichéd and not elite enough. Sausage factories. I'd think about the secret societies though, that shit sounded ace. It'd be nice having an "in" beyond the advantages I already had in life. For instance, they could probably get a good assassin to kill all the Volturi and get the President to cover it up. Several Presidents were members of secret societies. But I didn't care about killing them all. I just wanted them away from Bella. And since she was at Harvard, they'd never find her. I hope.

Aro was all eagerly unloading mine and the twin's luggage and informed me that the moving van would be here shortly along with all the new furniture I had ordered, compliments of the company. I didn't want to sit around and wait for my buddies to get their shit together; it'd take them a couple of hours to get here and then they had movers and crap to deal with. They were from Manhattan and were truly your typical society boys, just like me, Jazz and Emmett were of Forks. They were good guys who were going into their second year here with crazy connections, and apparently they held all the best parties. They were Sigma Chi's but didn't live in the frat house because like me, got sick of all the dong around the place. Plus their rents were old money which is why they could afford our fucks around Europe tours which we presented to our parents as taking summer classes in Italy and shit. Sure we passed the classes, but when on in between classes is what was really educational. They were rad dudes. Plus we'd have a good set up, and Jasper and Emmett were only a hop, skip and a jump away. Or more like a taxi ride away. I wouldn't fuckin' hop, skip or jump anywhere. Maybe I would with my new poodle. Goddamn it.

Jasper and Alice were hitting up RISD which was like, a block and a bit away from Brown and Emmett was still debating between going to Boston University and Harvard. His dad had an easy in for Emmett at Harvard since he went there and was a highly respected Harvard alumni, but Emmett didn't know how he felt about going to a school based on his dad's merit alone. To be honest, Emmett was likely just intimidated by the amount of work he'd have to do at Harvard and then actually go and do something with his life. Rosalie would have easily gotten into either school as well, since she was fierce like that and had special arrangements with Forks High faculty to maintain her 4.0 because that's just we rolled.

Bella and whats-her-face would be at Harvard which would be a joke and a half because if Nessie thought Forks was full of snobs, she had a whole new thing coming to her there. Though I think she did say she was from Boston, so she should be used to that shit. Hopefully she would keep Bella safe and I wouldn't have to worry anymore. Hopefully she'd find some guy to take care of her who wouldn't have the fucking mob after them. As much as I wanted her to be happy and safe, if I actually had to meet a guy she was dating, so help him god.

I used the next few hours to familiarize myself with the school along with the twins because, well, I'd never stepped foot on Brown grass before. I seriously thought this is where all the retarded fuck-ups went when their daddies couldn't get them into Harvard or Yale. Now I was a student at Brown. Fuck my life.

And yes, that fluffy thing that belonged in a psych ward because of all its maniacal uncontrollable energy was _ours_. Apparently it was in fact a poodle of some sort; a cockapoo it was called, which actually couldn't sound any gayer. Anyway, this fucking cockapoodle or whatever it was called was our latest member to our blissful little family. They picked it up from some random pet store they insisted on stopping in which reminds me, I'd have to blast Aro for agreeing to stop at a pet store as soon as they landed in Rhode Island. They wanted to call it Bonbon, but then I might as well fucking chop off my balls right then and there. More likely than not I'd be the sucker walking this little pest most of the time anyway, and I'd be damned if I was going to call the thing Bonbon in front of everyone. I can just see myself standing in the middle of the campus hollering "oh Bonbon, where are you Bonbon!" So we settled on Bo. But I'd call the thing Bob or something. I didn't care if it was a girl or boy dog. They could have at least asked my opinion on what kind of breed to get in which case I would have only settled on a retriever or a spaniel or something cool like that, and relatively sporty that could catch a Frisbee. This guy would be lucky to make it up a flight of stairs with the size of those legs. Anyway what's done is done so I sucked it up because I cared about Gigi and Julietta and if a frickin cocopuff or whatever it was called made them happy, then so be it.

We took the fuzzy thing on a walk and eventually made our way across the meticulously manicured grass and in the direction of RISD to see what kind of digs Alice and Jazz arranged. If he dared to live with her after only a couple of months of dating I'd kick his ass.

"Oh mon dieu!" Gigi exclaimed; pointing at something or other.

"What, Gee?" I asked, using the new nickname I'd given her over the summer. Sometimes I called her "gig" as in "Geej." She got pissed off from me calling her "Gee-Gee" instead of pronouncing it with a proper French accent so I ditched the name altogether. I didn't want to sound lame now did I? So she was interchangeably "Geej" or "Gee." And Julietta was Juli because it sounded less fruity for me to say too.

"Un Starbucks cafe!" she exclaimed, grabbing Julietta by the hand and me by the other. I was cool with being dragged around by two smokin hot lesbian supermodels because it made me look like a fucking god and gave the impression I was fucking these two broads. I was cool with having a "three-way relationship" with them, as long as I could remain chaste and avoid kissing. Whatever it looked like to others though, was none of my concern.

"Gig, way to lose a nut over a Starbucks," I said dryly, picking up the puppy that was now tumbling around on the grass. I wasn't amused with her blatant disregard for this thing the moment she saw something more exciting. Besides, if she was going to go ape-shit over every little American thing she happened upon, she'd drive me nuts. "Doesn't France have these things?" I asked, holding the dog out in front of me for one of the girls to take.

"Yes, il y a beaucoup des Starbucks in France, but there is none in St Tropez, which is why we are excited maintainent. We had pas de coffee all summer basically. Pas de Starbucks!" Juli said, her eyes growing wide with anticipation at the prospect of having some quality java.

"Y'know ladies, you shoulda just told me you wanted an espresso machine. We're getting one at our new place too, obviously," I said indifferently; "Aro makes a mean latte."

Wait for it.. three.. two.. one.

"VRAIMENT?!" Juli exclaimed grabbing Gigi by the shoulders and shaking her and hugging her in excitement.

"Vraiment," I confirmed.

The twins started going on feverishly and passionately in their native tongue probably overly enthusiastic about the espresso machine. The only thing about being around girls all the time was that they were so goddamn easily excitable over everything and anything. It was like fuck, could they ever just not get excited and squeal? Could they ever just simmer the fuck down? But as far as concerns went with roommates, that was the extent of it with the twins. They were good to me so I'd listen to their squealing. Besides there was little else that was as cute as Gigi's excitement; she was like a kid in a candy store with her big blue eyes growing wide, and sometimes she actually jumped up and down and clapped her hands. Plus she talked a million words a second when she was excited, so I couldn't help but just grin and bear it.

I watched her now as she and Juli started making out, which always started out as an innocent kiss then went straight into hardcore tongue action (which I'll admit, was sexy as fuck and sometimes I had to turn away so as to not tempt myself). Gigi winked at me over Juli's shoulder, as if to say 'we're happy here.' Thing about Gigi was she had these amazingly long eyelashes and bright blue eyes, so even when she was completely expressionless her eyes looked like they were lit up with excitement, and they always looked so wide. Nothing compared to Bella's seductive 'fuck you' eyebrow expression, or the way her eyes looked totally relaxed and at ease when she was high as a kite, and fuck I hope my girl is okay. I fucking hope she's safe, and I hope to god she's happy. Renesmee better be doing a good job of keeping my girl safe.

We headed into Starbucks and even the smell alone brought back a million memories of Bella. This shit wasn't going to work. I actually gave my credit card to the girls and waited outside for them to get the coffees because I didn't feel like dealing with a wave of Starbucks-induced Bella memories. The time that was particularly prominent in my reminiscence was when I brought Tanya in and that drove Bella absolutely crazy; I'd never seen her angrier as long as I knew her. She hated Tanya and watching her mock her ridiculously complicated drink order made me burst into laughter right here at the curb. The little dog was licking my arm which was cute but fucking annoying at the same time and I was glad to see the twins had emerged from the store, coffees in hand. I handed the leash to Gigi who took it begrudgingly.

The scenic route to Alice's place ended up being annoying as hell because apparently the 'scenic route' meant getting lost and walking around for three hours trying to find a school that was only a block away from our point A.

"Juli, if you hadn't insisted on walking through the back roads so you and Gee could get your nooky on we wouldn't have ended up walking around in a five mile circle," I complained, tossing my empty Starbucks cup in the trashcan outside of Alice's building.

"It is not my fault!" Juli exclaimed, throwing her arms up and rambling on about something or other in Italian or French or who the fuck knows anymore. "Idiota, uomo imbecile e difficile!" she exclaimed.

"Je sais, je sais," Gigi said while attempting to soothe her by rubbing her lower back. They trudged up the stairs and I followed behind, carrying the damn puppy because he kept tripping up the stairs because he was so short.

When we entered the loft at the top of a very trendy looking brick building I could already hear Alice yelling at someone; presumably Jasper. Good god, what has the son-of-a-bitch done now.

"I won't tell him! He doesn't need to know damnit!" Jasper replied as I entered the room, my eyes darting toward him, shooting him a warning glance.

"Oh, hi Edward!" Alice trilled, running toward me and giving me a big hug. I hugged her briefly but then pushed her away. I had shit to deal with.

"Tell who what? What the hell is going on?" I asked, submerging myself in their argument while Gigi and Juli looked around the loft.

"Ooh molto bello!" Juli exclaimed, and Gigi and her went on about something or other in their foreign languages.

"Alice, Juli and Gigi, Gigi and Juli, Alice," I said motioning between them, not really caring that they weren't being formally introduced.

"Ooh new people! And a PUPPY!?!" Alice squealed, running over to smother the poor innocent creature.

Alice was almost instantly distracted from the puppy after three seconds when she remembered there were new girls to meet. I could tell she was going to love those girls because a) they were fucking stunning and stylish as shit, they might have even made Alice look last season, and b) they were just as excitable as she was.

While they got acquainted I pulled Jasper into the kitchen by his arm. "What the fuck is going on, huh?"

Jasper shook himself free of me and smoothed out his shirt where I grabbed him. "Get a grip man, nothing's going on" Jasper said, trying to sound indifferent and failing terribly. I knew he was lying because he avoided eye contact; which always gave Jasper away.

"Don't fuck with me Jazz, what the fuck was going on? I come visit my cousin and hear her and my best friend screaming in each other's face? Not cool man, not cool."

Jasper sighed loudly and shook his head. "It's uh, it's personal man. Sex issues and stuff. You don't wanna know."

I wasn't convinced but neither was I in the mood to argue with my best friend, especially if it had something to do with his and my innocent little cousin's sex life.

"So how do you like the loft?" Alice said, now holding the puppy and petting it adoringly. I was about to offer her the thing but Juli spoke before I could.

"It's very bella Alice," she said, taking Gigi's hand and sitting on the crisp white couches.

"Ya it's sick Alice. Must've cost your daddy a pretty penny, eh?" I joked, looking around; it was a decent place, and I knew it would be if my cousin were to live in it. It was bright and spacious with about twelve foot ceilings and everything was white or purple. It was a trendy place, but that was expected of a RISD student.

"Ya, bullshit Cullen, nothing compared to what I hear you managed to sucker out of the company funds. A frickin frat house? And not just any frat house, but _the_ frat house – the mansion that Brown's had their eye on for years to make into one of their main residences?" Alice asked incredulously, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Oh yah? Is it nice?" Jasper asked quietly, fidgeting with his shirt sleeves. I wondered what his living arrangements were and I felt kinda shitty for not asking him to live with me.

"It's not bad," I replied indifferently. "What are you sayin for the year?"

Jasper looked me in the eyes with a glint of hope. "Well I hadn't found a place yet, since you know, rez is kinda pricey, and well... well I don't wanna make my mom pay more than she has to..." he trailed off.

I knew his mom worked her butt off and it wouldn't be nice to have her work all day just to pay her kid's rent, and what the fuck was I doing? Jasper was my best fucking friend, and I wouldn't let a thing like the potential of him having my cousin over for sleepovers to get in the way of me living with the guy. Besides, he was three thousand miles from home and needed his buddies around.

"Live with me, man," I said sincerely. He looked at me hesitantly.

"You can't say no," I added firmly.

"Oh please do Jasper! Jasper it'll be so much fun!" the twins began simultaneously; hopping up and down. They'd grown fond of him when he and Emmett to stay at my villa for a couple of weeks. Everyone got along so well. All that was missing was Bella.

"Yes Jazz, that sounds like a good idea," Alice coaxed, noticing Jasper's uneasiness. She lightly touched his arm which made me a little uneasy because I still hadn't seen much PDA between them.

"Jasper, don't be a fuckin pussy. The deal's done. You're living with us. And I'll be fucked if you ever pay rent because then I'll fucking show you what's what," I said, punching his arm jokingly.

"Yeah?" he asked, suddenly hopeful and seemingly relieved.

"Yep." I confirmed. "So now our place includes me, you, Gee and Juli, my three New York pals..... Aro," I chuckled at the last one. "That makes eight."

"No way! Aro's living with us?" Jasper asked in disbelief. I nodded. "Fine dining every day," he added.

"You betcha. All compliments of me. The NY guys are pitching a hefty amount for meals provided Aro keeps them well fed but I don't expect that from you or the twins," I said.

"Wait, you guys are twins?" Alice asked. "You guys don't look like twins!" she exclaimed, her excitement growing for some unknown reason.

"Not twins," I corrected; "Lesbians."

"K. What?!"

* * *

**Grey:** So yes, as you can see the gang has skipped ahead in time a couple of months and are now in university! Hope you liked it, and if not, let me know. If so, let me know. Love your reviews!


	35. Chapter 35

**Leon**: Hi all. Here you go. No stunts this time, just the chapter. I want to thank all of you for your kind reviews. I think I replied to them all for my last chapter, and I can't say how happy I was that you guys liked the lemons I've written. I've tried to keep them soft, emotional, subtle... hopefully I've succeeded.

**Disclaimer**: We own Twilight. *opposite day*

**Chapter 35**

"Bitch, get down here!" I yelled up the stairs. Nessie was so damn slow.

"Shut up! I'm coming!" she yelled back, still cooped up in her room.

"Isn't that what you tell the guys?" I laughed, shaking my head. I sighed and walked into the kitchen of our new place. Grabbing a water bottle from the fridge, I went back into the living room and plopped down on the couch. I smiled at my surroundings, proud of the full scholarship Nessie and I had received. I wouldn't have to worry about money at all in college, and no more fucking working at Starshit.

We were given a townhouse right near the edge of the campus. Everything was perfect, down to the very last details. Two bedrooms, two bathrooms, two stories... two everything. I frowned. Almost two everything. But I didn't want to think about _him_ anymore.

"You're such a pervert," Nessie said as she bounded down the stairs and rushed into the kitchen. She came back a moment later with a water bottle of her own.

"Whatever," I said, smiling as I lounged back. "Believe we're here? All settled? This is going to be _amazing_!"

She grinned and cocked an eyebrow. "Sounds like someone's ready to do some exploring."

"Do I smell a challenge?" I smirked

"Always."

"Whatever, let's go," I said, laughing as I grabbed her arm and pulled her up with me. We ran into the entrance hallway and grabbed our coats. After covering ourselves to ward off the cold of the East Coast, we left the townhouse, giggling as we thought of where to go.

"Where to first?" Nessie asked, linking our arms as we walked down the path toward the Campus Plaza.

"Hrm... Starfucks!" I yelled, pulling on her when I saw the chain store.

"Bella! Hell no! You fucking hate Starbucks anyway," she said, shaking her head at me. I stopped and turned to her. Pouting, I looked down and dug my foot into the floor.

"Fine... I guess I can't go and relive some good work memories..." I mumbled poorly, glancing up to look at her with the best puppy-dog eyes. Her eyebrows furrowed and she scowled.

"You are _such_ a baby, God," she muttered, rolling her eyes and picking up her stride again toward Starbucks with me in tow.

"And you love it," I giggled, slapping her butt. She rolled her eyes more dramatically before breaking into a giggle fit of her own.

"Whatevs."

We reached the coffee shop and entered, the little bell tinkling to signal our arrival. The coffee shop was empty, save for two girls sitting in the back corner. We walked up to the counter and pressed on the bell.

"Hey, service over here!" I called back. Nessie gave me a shocked look.

"Bella! God, don't you remember how much you hated working here? Don't be such a spazz," she chastised. I snickered, ignoring her.

"Shut up. I'm not gonna be a bitch," I told her, quirking an eyebrow. She mirrored me and stuck out her tongue. "Stop that!" I laughed, pushing on her shoulder.

"Whatevs!" she repeated as I heard the barista come up to us. "Oh, why, hello there," her voice had dropped, oozing in seduction. I cocked my head and turned to look at the barista.

_Fuck. Me._

"Hello there, ladies. How can I service you?" tall, dark, and handsome asked. _'I can think of a few ways...'_

The barista towered over both Nessie and me, dressed in his fitted Starbucks uniform. My eyes shot down to his arms, the sleeves strained by his flexing biceps. I traveled up to his prominent pecs, and even his abs were visible from underneath his shirt. He had olive-toned skin, and his eyes were the blackest I had ever seen, but so soulful. His straight black hair parted on his forehead, and I felt my hand inching up to remove the locks from his hair.

"Uh, hello?" he asked again, tilting his head. I dropped my hand as I realized what I was doing and let out a nervous laugh. I shot glance at Nessie who was smiling widely at me.

"Heh, heh, heh... hi. I'm Bella," I introduced myself as Nessie bumped my shoulder with hers.

"Felix. Felix Volturi. Nice to meet you," he greeted back. And hell, if anyone else had done that cheesy introduction, it would have been so lame... but it worked well on him. He smiled at me, putting down the cup he had lifted to write my order. Leaning forward on his elbows, he lifted an eyebrow when I found myself leaning forward as well.

"So, you work here?" I asked, mentally slapping myself for saying something so stupid. Thankfully, he just chuckled and nodded.

"Yes, it appears that I do work here."

"Um, Bella, I'm just going to go to the bathroom okay? Why don't you stay and talk until I get back," Nessie suggested slyly as she started to walk off. I glared at her, both thankful for getting some alone time while pissed that I was left to make an idiot out of myself.

"So..." he trailed off as we both watched Nessie saunter over to the hallway in the back.

"Yeah..."

"You new around here?" he asked, his breath fanning my face. I smiled in spite of myself. _'Coy, Bella, great job.'_

"Yeah, we're starting school in a couple of days. My friend and I got a scholarship," I answered, averting my gaze.

"Wow, a scholarship... full ride?" he asked. I nodded, grinning sheepishly as a genuine, impressed smile appeared on his face. "That's amazing! They don't hand many of those out. What do you want to study?"

"Um, I'm thinking Literature, maybe a minor in Anthropology," I pondered aloud, not really having chosen anything yet.

"Hey, I'm a double major in Lit and Anthro," he chuckled, leaning forward again. "Maybe I could tutor you?" His eyebrows lifted and I could see that his breathing shallowed, as if waiting for my answer. What kind of world was I living in when this hunk would be interested in me?

_Edward was interested in you._

Oh God. Not again.

I shook the thoughts and met his gaze. "I'd like that very much."

"I'll need your phone number," he told me slyly. I giggled at his waggling eyebrows as he handed me a scrap of paper and a pencil. Scribbling my number down, I folded the sheet and leaned forward to slide it into his pocket.

"All yours," I said, once again meeting his gaze. We stayed silent for a few moments before a cough interrupted us. Turning to see a woman waiting to order behind me, I blushed and mumbled my chai tea latte order. "I'll just go wait for my drink then."

"I'll get right on it," he said, still looking at me as I waved slightly and walked away. I watched as he took the woman's order, his eyes still set on me. I giggled when Nessie returned, a lazy smile on her face as she took a seat next to me.

"So?"

"So... what?" I dodged, leaning back into my seat. Before Nessie could open her mouth to ask for details, I heard my name being called. I smugged a little and stood, walking back over to the counter.

Felix handed the woman her coffee before handing me my latte. As I tried to take it from his grasp, his hand clasped over mine. I looked up, a little shocked.

"So, Bella... I have your number, but I don't think I could wait to ask you out," he said, a little amused. I couldn't help the bemused moan I let fall out of my mouth, playing along.

"Dang, I bet you just know I gave you a fake number, huh?" I joked, pulling slightly as his hand fell. I took a sip of my drink as he laughed.

"Something like that. It's just, you look great, Bella. You're stunning."

I froze.

_He turned to me, holding me out in front of him with his hands on my hips. "Wow. You look great, Bella." He stood back and admiringly looked me up head to toe with an amused grin on his face. "You're stunning." _

"Uh, thank you..." I mumbled, looking down at my cup. Felix seemed to notice my hesitation.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I guess that was a bit forward," he fumbled over the words, his hands raking through his hair.

_Fuck. Stop it_.

"No, it's okay..." I trailed off, giving a weak expression. "Thanks for the drink. I hope you call."

"I will," he breathed out, visibly relieved for not upsetting me. I gave a final fleeting smile before returning to Nessie's side and grabbing her hand. "Come on, can we go?"

Noticing my expression, she gave me a nod and stood. Nothing was said as we walked out of the shop. I took the occasional sip, handing the cup over to Nessie who would take one of her own before handing it back to me. I realized we were walking back to our place. That was perfect. I just wanted to go back home now.

"B-Bella?" I almost missed someone calling out my name. I was so distracted that my mind really wasn't settled on any one thing. Nessie stopped me, pulling on my arm. I turned to her, cocking an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Um, look," she mumbled, nodding behind us. I sighed and turned again.

_Alice?_

"Alice?" I called, surprised. What was she doing here? "Why... why are you here?"

She walked up to us slowly, eyeing us for a reaction. I stared at her, dumbfounded.

"Um... I'm at RISD... Jasper's going to here," she answered. I felt my jaw go slack. What the fuck...

"But... but what about UW? What about not going? What about traveling? Why are you guys here? How could you guys come _here_?" I practically screamed. I didn't want them here. My hand flew up to my necklace. I twisted it in my hands, trying to calm myself down—I always used it when I needed to calm down.

"We didn't know you were going to come here! What happened to Harvard?" she asked, shocked.

"I didn't want to go there! I didn't want to run into..." I stopped. Speaking his name aloud...

"Bella... I'm sorry..." Alice started, but I didn't want to hear it. I held my hand up and shook my head.

"No. It's whatever. I don't care anymore. Really." That sounded convincing.

"Oh..." she trailed off. She took another step forward and tried to give me a hug. I returned it half-heartedly "Well, call me if you need anything."

_Yeah. I'll call you tomorrow._

I suppressed the sob and roll of my eyes, settling on muttering a goodbye before turning quickly and stalking off with Nessie right behind me. She was unusually quiet as we reached our place. I threw the door open and ran up the stairs. I reached my room and just threw myself on the bed.

I had no tears. I wasn't sad. I wasn't upset.

I was pissed. But I didn't know why, or at whom, or anything.

I heard Nessie enter my room and take a seat on my desk. We stayed in silence, our breathing even and steady, before she spoke up.

"Anything you want to talk about?" she asked quietly.

"No," I answered meekly.

"`kay... what do you want to do?"

"Let's order pizza and watch a movie," I suggested, sitting up and shaking the rushing thoughts from my mind. I was here, I was happy, and be damned if anything would remind me of all the crap I'd put up with.

If I wanted Edward, I would have gone after him. If he wanted me, he would have gone after me. But we didn't. It was all a false attraction, nothing else.

Except I still dreamed about him, every night. The only difference was that it wasn't lust-filled anymore. The last time I had a dream where we were intimate was back at Emmett's house in Forks, after his party. Every dream that followed was just us, together.

Nessie nodded and pulled her phone out. I listened nonchalantly as she ordered the pizza before she hung up. "Come on, let's go set up downstairs. A night in for once won't hurt us, will it?"

"No, sounds good," I agreed. I followed her down the stairs, setting up the living room with some pillows and blankets on the floor. My mind drifted as I placed everything in its spot, Nessie browsing through the DVDs she had brought over from her aunt's place.

Here at Brown, even with Alice around, I knew I had changed. For the better. I wasn't the same Bella, I wasn't Slut Bella, and I sure as hell wasn't Edward's Bella.

I was just... new Bella. Different Bella. Better Bella.

I struggled with the conflicting thoughts in me as the bell rang. Nessie left to pay for the pizza as I went to grab us some sodas from the kitchen. We returned and sat, watching the screen as The Ring flickered on. The night passed easily, us grabbing each other every time the girl popped up or the music turned dark. We burst into laughter at the cheesy effects and plot. When the movie finished, we put in another, watching another handful of movies into the late morning. I yawned sometime around 4, and Nessie was already leaning down against my shoulder in slumber. I snickered, knocking her slightly to awake her. We cleaned up quickly, said our goodnights and went to our rooms.

In two days, we'd start our school year at Brown. Soon, Felix would call and I'd accept his date. I'd graduate, and life would really begin. Who knew? Everything would work out. It had to.

* * *

**Leon**: There it is. 2500 words, not too long, not too short. Review and let me know what you think. This is pretty much the last sad Bella you'll see. Even here, she's just pissed and annoyed, not really sad. Next time... Badass Bella (regardless of what she says). Also... maybe Edward... *laughs maniacally* Remember, this story is coming to an end soon! Okay, so here's the reason for my delay. I've started two new stories... hope you check them out.

el deseo universal: An angst-filled, romantic mystery that is 100% EPOV goodness. (M)

"_The Universal Desire - Both were wanted, and yet she was unobtainable. How far would he go to make her his, and why did she not return any of his feelings? This player has his work cut out for him as he tries to figure out this dark seductress. AH. Dark"_

A Game Between Us: A dramatic, smut-filled story... no, really. Just smut-after-smut-after-smut. But there's a plot too! Le gasp! (M)

"_It began as a game. She went in for relief. He went in to win her over. A story of sexual exploration, lust, and love. : AU/AH, Major smut"_


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

**APOV**

"Lesbians?!" I shrieked, discarding my attempt to sound as non-judgmental as possible out the window.

_Oh, those windows._ The amazing ceiling high windows with wonderful perfect view of the park, with grass so green and fresh it almost looked fake and the Starbucks and the quaint little French style bakery on the cobblestone road... I could get used to this city. I quite liked this city. And my skylights...

But lesbians? Really?

"Really," Edward confirmed, a shit-eating grin forming on his smug face. That boy was always too good at reading my mind. I missed this Edward.

St. Tropez did him well, whatever the fuck he was doing over there. He looked good with a bit of sun too, I'll give him that. His skin was ever so subtly bronzed, his hair in complete disarray as ever sticking out in every which way as if he'd been running his fingers through it for days (which I totally advocated against since it messes up the ph balance of the hair and contributes too many foreign oils to the scalp) and natural highlights and flecks of bronze were visible when the sun hit it at a certain angle.

I noticed he'd also gone shopping; he was wearing an expensive pair of dark-wash Rag and Bone jeans (I'd know the price since I tried to get Jasper to buy the same pair with zero success), and a basic dark grey t-shirt with a blazer casually thrown overtop (who makes blazers look so casual besides Edward?) and of course, his beautiful Rufus Gerard wristwatch.

At the very least I was happy to see my cousin back to the cocky SOB we were all so well acquainted with, rather than the woe-is-me walloward.

He began padding the front of his blazer down, presumably for cigarettes and oh hell to the no he is _not_ smoking in my perfect, beautiful potpourri smelling loft. It would probably leave cinder residue on my freshly painted brilliant white walls too. Daddy suggested I get a decorator, one of the Profs from the school to design my loft and I was so happy I took him up on the offer because it turned out just stunning. "Modern Light" was the theme we went with; everything was white and pale lavender and with silver accents. It was divine. I even had my old ballet slippers hanging on one of the walls -- my laundry room wall, actually -- as an extra little accent.

"Edward, put those cigarettes away, or step out on the balcony," I demanded.

"Yah, you got a light?" he replied absent-mindedly, still padding himself down.

"Ugh, if you must, on the étagère," I said. He cocked his eyebrow, and I pointed to the large set of free-standing shelves toward the wall. "Over there." I gave him a judgemental look hoping to dissuade him from lighting up but he disregarded this and happily headed out the French doors and onto the balcony where he proceeded to enjoy his cancer stick.

"Well he seems better," I snorted, rather annoyed that he was off vacationing and living the high life while we were all picking up the pieces of crumbling mess he left behind.

Jasper shifted uncomfortably beside me and sort of grunted in agreement.

"Oui, mais Edward... he has lots of problems," the pretty blonde one – Gigi – said, sounding rather distressed.

"Edward has problems?" I repeated. "No, no I don't think so. I think Eddie here likes to over-complicate everything and if he'd have just stayed away from Bella in the first place like we all told him he'd have been able to stay in Forks and not be so bloody miserable for the past couple months."

Julietta's eyes widened at my mini-tirade over Edward and was just opening her mouth to rebut when he re-entered the room, reeking like smoke.

"You'll realize one day what those gross things are doing to you when you can't make it up a flight of stairs without having an asthma attack," I warned.

"I missed you too, cuz," he replied sardonically, wrapping his arm around me and poking me in the stomach.

"Ow, fool," I swatted him with my hand and he sauntered over to the kitchen and began raiding my fridge.

"So what are you enrolled in here at Brown?" I directed at no one in particular, not really caring, instead wondering just how long it would take Edward to dominate the school by owning the profs and colonizing all the female ass.

I heard clanking in my fridge as he shifted around some bottles then grabbed a Heineken. "Juli? Gigi? Can I offer you something?"

Well that was strange to hear from my cousin; him actually _caring_ and acknowledging others around him. Even though he didn't seem to be throwing sexual innuendos the way of the girls in his usual fashion, it would be next to impossible for him to not be sleeping with these knockouts. No wonder he didn't ever want to return from St. Tropez. And here I was, thinking Bella was somehow actually different from the other women, that somehow she changed him for the better and made him into someone respectable. But I suppose he allegedly cheated on her too, so surprise, surprise.

I took a moment to examine these lesbians, or "twins" as Edward introduced them. "_Mes cheries, my two lovely twins,"_ I think were his exact words. _UGH puh-lease. Give me a break. _

They were both approximately the same height; both were taller, more slender, and overall had better figures than me. They were striking like models because of their statuesque height and figure, but cute enough to be girl-next-door commercial model worthy. Think Victoria's Secret Angels; a bit of Cover Girl natural beauty meets a _lot_ of runway. Gigi had long, curly medium blonde locks that fell to her boob-line and had deep navy blue eyes that were really expressive and reminded me of water from a fresh, very cold lake. I could tell she was easily read like a book because of those eyes, and she had flawless, perfectly tanned skin that held the perfect amount of natural glow. She had the typical cheerleader-cute blonde girl looks without actually being a cheerleader, but the part of her that revealed her European modelesque were her elegant, long, slender limbs and the slight arrogant air she possessed. She came across as happy-go-lucky and was sharp on her feet, same as Julietta. They were both evidently very intelligent girls -- their responses were always quick and they spoke with eloquence and confidence. Julietta, as I could tell right off the bat, was the more domineering of the two, whereas Gigi was just along for the ride, and really _was_ just that innocent. Julietta seemed almost protective of Gigi, whereas Gigi was always searching your face for signs of discomfort. She was extremely empathetic, whereas Juli was more attuned to what Gigi was doing, as if she were looking out for her. Julietta's sparkling blue devious eyes danced when she grinned, and when she looked up from her dark, long lashes it always looked like she was plotting something or up to no good. When she smiled, which was rarer than with Gigi who was always smiling, her cheeks formed perfect round apples that enhanced her heart-shaped face and drew your eyes to her natural pillowy lips. Julietta had the habit of furrowing her brows when someone spoke, which I hate to say, will eventually be the cause of inevitable wrinkling. Not like that would ever make her less beautiful though. Neither girl wore much (if any) makeup and had the whole organic and natural supermodel look down to a T.

And I was supposed to believe that Edward hadn't been sleeping with, or trying to sleep with, these freakishly beautiful two girls he just happened to stumble upon while in France. _Right... _

Edward returned from the kitchen carrying two bottles of Perrier for the girls and I decided it was high time I figure out just what kind of mischievous plan he was concocting without soliciting my help, or even so much as my advice, first.

"So Gigi, and Julietta," I began, rubbing my hands together in anticipation of all the dirt I'd weasel out of them at Edward's discomfort; "How do you know Edward?" _Innocent enough question... _

"We lived with him," Julietta replied matter-of-factly; "In St. Tropez. We were doing exchange there, in the program of anthropology and archaeology, and he was on vacation and let us inhabit with him."

_Oh really, Edward. How very generous of you. You're practically a social worker. _

"Is that so?" I replied, revelling in my own foreseeable game of make-Edward-feel-awkward by revealing his innermost darkest secrets as to what he's been doing the past half-year at the family's St Tropez digs. "Julietta and Gigi and Edward... _inhabiting_ together. Sounds like a wonderful time, doesn't it Jasper?"

Jasper shrugged his shoulders, clearly not wanting to play any role in my fun. He fidgeted with his sleeves instead; disappointing me in his lack of sportsmanship in our game.

"Yes, well, these girls are quite the roommates, let's just leave it at that," Edward replied, distracted by the label on the Heineken bottle.

"Something wrong with the brew, Edward?" I asked, not really caring.

_Quite the roommates?_ What could that possibly mean? He fucked them, obviously. _That sneaky little bastard._ He fucked these girls and left Bella in Forks in self-destructing mode.

He looked up at me from the label, stunned by my voice. "What? No, nothing. It's just weird... reading things in English. I think I know more French than I lead on," he replied. He knew more French? Was that an innuendo for _"I fucked them"_? Was that another way of saying _"I colonized the French and Italian lairs of pleasure"? _Sometimes he was just too subtle, even I couldn't pick up on it.

"Could use that for picking up chicks, couldn't I? Or would that be lame? Too clichéd?" he directed his question to the girls who were giggling over something and gossiping away in French. This so wasn't cool. I was supposed to be mademoiselle _French Vogue_ and here they were, showing me up in the language as well as _French Vogue_ fashions. I seriously needed to learn from these girls. Game playing stops now; operation Get-These-Girls-to-Teach-Me-All-They-Know-about-French-Couture starts now. Wait. Game playing recommences. I'll work both operations simultaneously. He can't not let me know if he's banged them. God it's tough living up to my deceitful expectations.

"You know I visit France quite often, girls. I go there for the summers," I began, coolly trying to sound like it was no big deal that I was actually a big deal.

The girls were still giggling and I was growing tired of their lack of interest in anyone but themselves and Edward.

"Alright everyone, I propose we go for a nice dinner. Compliments of me," I said brightly, clapping my hands together which earned the attention of _les filles._

"Oh no, no, we couldn't accept such an offer as this," Julietta said, looking at me with those doe-eyes she'd mastered. "_I know you're fucking my cousin, so don't look all innocent" _I wanted to reply.

"Hahaa, oh no," I laughed dryly. "By compliments of me I really mean compliments of my father."

We agreed on an Italian place called Blue Grotto, which was recommended in the Providence Guide to Fine Dining. Upon arrival Edward must have done his trick of slipping a hefty bill into the waitress's hand while shaking it because not only did we receive the most attentive service in the entire place, we got the whole backroom to ourselves and endless refills of the restaurant's finest chardonnay.

I was well aware of Edward's get-in-her-pants tactics since I'd witnessed them my entire high school career at Forks High, but I was taken aback when he actually seemed genuinely interested in what these girls were saying, and even replied in French a couple times. It was nothing too advanced and he did it unobtrusively, throwing in the occasional 'vraiment' and what not, but he did it to show his respect for their language and tried his best to translate something to them when they didn't pick it up. It seemed almost... _thoughtful_ of him. I didn't know what his deal was. And of course he pulled out their chairs and was the proper gentleman, and when we were finished and I was ready to ask for the bill the waitress said it had all been taken care of and refused to tell me who paid it. I wasn't an idiot though, and didn't have to think twice to know why Edward was laying on the chivalry extra-thick tonight. He must have been trying to get a threesome with the girls, and I swear to god I heard them say threesome once or twice over the dinner and Edward just laid back in his seat and chuckled, eyeing the girls but not like a piece of meat... eyeing them with great fascination and even, dare I say it, _adoration_ for them. It was like France changed him, and not necessarily in a good way. He was more cunning in his courtship which was going to be just great for his time at Brown. College girls would find his chivalry and gentlemanly behaviours to be indicative of his upbringing (and for once in his life, he wasn't trying to reject the fact that he was American royalty and was beginning to behave as such) and would find this song and dance so refreshing that they'd be lined up out the door for miles in their bras and thongs waiting for a piece of him. As if he didn't dazzle women already without putting forth the least bit of effort, if any at all. It was all clear; he must have taken it upon himself to become a proper gentleman and actually come off as caring and listening when a woman opened her mouth rather than tell her he has something he'd like to fill it with if she doesn't shut it (true Edward line, no joke).

Well he wasn't going to get away with this nonsense. Not with me around. If he thought he could just waltz into Brown with these drop-dead gorgeous lesbians and try and talk them into sleeping with him then proceed to fuck the rest of the female undergrads he had another thing coming. Even though Bella was a blatant fool for acting the way she did, she didn't deserve to be dumped on by Edward.

And he wasn't fooling me. He was still being the same old cheeky bastard to my face.

"Ali, thanks for dinner," Edward said, lazily throwing his arm around my shoulder as we exited the restaurant. What I didn't fail to notice was how he winked at our attractive young waitress on his way out, causing her to fluster and turn beet red. I wanted to tell her not to waste her time, but that wasn't my place. When Edward Cullen was on a conquest, no girl who crossed his path was safe. He knew what he wanted and always got it, and then some.

"Yah no problem," I replied dryly. "I should be thanking you, douchebag. I said _I_ was going to pay for dinner." I crossed my arms across my chest and did my best "humph" which usually resulted in me getting my way no matter what the circumstance.

He shrugged indifferently. "Your father's money was no good there, it was out of my hands, I'm sure you'll understand," he said, holding his arms up in a pathetic attempt of conveying defeat.

"Your generic, insincere apologies are sickening me. And instead of wasting your infectious wit and charm on me, why not babble with your two lesbian lovers," I snorted.

"And lesbian lovers they are," he added smugly.

What a creep. I knew he was screwing them.

Jasper, Gigi and Julietta were walking ahead of us, laughing happily and enjoying each other's company so I took it as an opportunity to lay some guilt on my cocky cousin. The fact that he didn't feel remorse for any of his actions weren't good for anyone, including himself, and if he wasn't going to take care of his actions I would because karma would bite him in the ass and I wouldn't sit back and watch that. Essentially I was doing him a favour.

"Wow I'm really lucky Bella's moved on in her life to not have to put up with you anymore," I began, choosing my words strategically and carefully. "I mean ya we miss her and all, but we had to let her go so she could be the fun-loving one-night stand party girl she wanted to be." _Not to mention she's at fucking Brown._

Edward stopped in his step and eyed me curiously as if he'd heard my internal thoughts, but then quickly shrugged off any sign of caring or sincerity so he clearly didn't. I mean he wasn't a mind reader, right? "Yah, well, her loss," he said, his voice vacant of any emotion.

How the hell could he just up and leave Bella, the "love of his life"? All I knew was there was a reason he was screwing these lesbians and there was a bigger reason he went to St. Tropez than to get away from Bella. I needed to know the truth, and I had a funny feeling Jasper knew more than he lead on.

"Oh Jasper darling! We need to talk."

**JPOV**

Dinner was fuck-my-life awkward. Only I knew the reason why Edward actually left Forks once and for all but the whole time I had to sit here and listen to Alice bitch and complain about what an asshole he was being and how "what goes around comes around" and karma and all this weird new age shit her mother was feeding her.

"Coming darling," I said dryly, my lack of enthusiasm evident in my tone. My lack of wanting to be alive evident too, for that matter. And apparently, even though I'm a trustworthy, loyal, never-cheat-on-you kinda guy, Alice was convinced I screwed with Edward's twins while in St. Tropez.

I knew this not because she verbalized these concerns, but by the way she was acting hostile towards everyone, but especially the girls; granted they wouldn't be able to tell, because Alice acting hostile actually comes across as the opposite – super friendly. But I knew her well enough that the sugary sweet Alice was death and she would cut you deep.

Aside from that, she was acting considerably icy toward Edward, which I imagined had something to do with a combination of his bringing the twins into her life, and him leaving Bella for the only reason known to her, that being Bella was sub-par for Edward's rigorously enforced criteria in girls.

It was super decent of Edward to put me up for the year at his place though, I'll give him that. I knew he was kinda resentful of me since I was left behind taking care of _his_ girl when he was in St. Tropez "wallowing," though I'm not sure how much of that he actually did in the past couple of months. He looked great for someone who was supposed to be in a deep state of depression. Hell, I might go as far to say he looked better than he ever did, and the fact that he had two smoking hot supermodels on either side of him at all times only helped him look good and superior and really added to his already cocky air.

Man, I had chill times with him and Emmett in St. Tropez, and don't get me wrong, those chicks were bomb to hang out with too. They were funny, giggly, always found something to gossip about between each other, super in-love and never feared to display it to everyone, and were just cool, laid-back chicks in general. They were basically perfect for Edward who just wanted the company, 'cept it was fuckin hilarious because they kept offering him this threesome and made something of a game out of this attempt by prancing around wearing lingerie, or lounging on the couch making out right in front of him, or skinny dipping in the pool right outside his bedroom window... shit like that. So it became a game between them on how to seduce him and constantly trying new ways to get him to crack but he never did. Not once. Emmett and I certainly enjoyed sitting back, cracking a beer, and watching them traipse around in next to nothing.

But aside all this cool shit, they weren't Alice. And for some reason, I saw the side of Alice that was so rarely exposed that I was all over it when it was, and I did everything in my power to hold onto it. She let go more often now than she did in the past, to the point where this version of Alice was almost an everyday occurrence. And I told her I loved that side of her but she still felt the need to put on this high fashion "haute couture" appeal, which if you ask me, I think was her comfort zone.

Now I was tagging along behind Alice who was madly and rapidly texting away on her BlackBerry, a habit of hers which I supremely despised because it always had to do with plotting and Rosalie, two things that almost always went hand-in-hand.

What also seemed to go hand-in-hand was ill-fate and Bella. Bella fuckin Swan, the girl we tried to cut loose for life (for her own good, too, might I add) was now here, in Providence, studying god knows what at Brown University of all places. Why the fuck she wasn't back at Harvard – the whole reason this damn godforsaken "union" began between Edward and Bella – was beyond me. I mean, come on. The only reason they were attracted to one another was their fierce competition over some stupid scholarship so they could both go to Harvard... well actually it was so Edward could go to Harvard and continue to feed his increasingly expensive blow habit, whereas for Bella it was so she could go and become some successful feminist divorce attorney, and fuck my life, neither of them went to fuckin Harvard. What was with them? Was Harvard chopped liver all of a sudden? And here I was, fuckin trying to get a decent (read: drama-less) somewhat enjoyable life started with Alice away in blissful Rhode Island... a whole hour away from Harvard and the mess that would be Bella, and they decide to invade mine and Alice's space once again and just live here.

So my project went from being "do well in school" to "keep Bella's presence unknown to Edward and keep Edward's presence unknown to Bella as well as keeping the aforementioned presences unknown to Nessie (who was a fuckin pill and a half) and then on top of it all keep Alice away from plotting something devious where they all meet up as a result of some 'unbeknown' freak coincidence."

Fuck. I just wanted to become an architect – of buildings – and now I was becoming an architect of fucking keeping people away from other people and all this jazz.

Before I could continue with my internal struggle, Alice whipped around to face me, and stopped dead in her tracks. I noticed Edward and the girls were quite far ahead of us now, which meant there was the possibility of me being interrogated right about... now.

"What the fuck do you know about Edward? Hmm? I know you KNOW more and you're not telling me all you know – I know you know this and how I know you know more than you're letting me know you know is because you're acting WEIRD!!!" Alice exclaimed, throwing her arms up furiously.

Dear god.

"Alice, please... I have no idea what you're talking about." _I know exactly what you're talking about._

"Don't even try that shit on me. I read your face like a book. Now give it up. Or _I_ won't give it up, if you get my drift," she sneered, and damn it all, was she really pulling that one out of the box this time?

She looked ahead to Edward and the girls who were now stopped outside of Alice's apartment, likely waiting for us to get there to let them in so they could get their frickin dog.

She shot me a warning look, and because she could read me like a book, noticed my relief when I caught a break by them, which only earned me a look of disapproval.

"We're not done yet, mister," she muttered under her breath.

"Alice I've got plans tonight, please stop holding me up and let us grab the frilly dog," Edward said, earning a bout of laughter from Gigi and Julietta who were clinging onto him.

I knew Edward had good intentions with those girls, but I wasn't quite sure what their deal was. They were desperate to sleep with him and if you ask me, I'm pretty sure they wanted to for their own benefit, not his. He wouldn't budge though, no matter how much seduction was involved.

"Cullen, does it work for you if I move in tomorrow? I'll crash at Alice's for the night?"

Edward shot me a fierce look instinctually, before taking a breath to calm down a bit at the thought of me _actually_ sleeping over at Alice's, but I wasn't asking his permission anymore. He had his own shit to deal with.

As Alice fidgeted with the lock and Edward mumbled something under his breath, a girl walking on the other side of the street with some random dude struck my attention, and I swear to god it was Bella.

Bella fucking Swan... walking across the street from all of us.

_Please don't look this way, please don't look this way... _

It was most definitely Bella; the way she fidgeted with her sweater cuffs was a dead give-away, and if she looked this way, fuck I don't even want to know what Edward would do if he saw Bella with another dude. They were presumably on a date, or so the body language indicated. The guy was walking closely toward her but she was subconsciously steering away, and as a result she was right on the edge of the sidewalk. She seemed into him, but her body language indicated she wasn't ready. You don't gotta be Sigmund Freud to get that reading from the scenario. Regardless, if they fuckin looked this way...

Edward was crooning his neck and stretching it out, something he did when he was impatient, and such was the case with Alice's Guinness Book of World Record's slowest lock operation ever.

It was only a matter of time until his gaze met her...

**A/N: Next up is BPOV. As the plan stands, this story is ending at 45 chapters, so we're almost there.**

**Leon entered a story in the Forbidden Love Contest. It's called 'Affair in Training.' If you could all head over to his account to read it, review it, and possibly vote for it, that would be great!**

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Story: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5028543/1/Affair_in_Training

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**http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~goldentemptress**


	37. Chapter 37

-1**Disclaimer**: Don't own any of it. These are so unnecessary. FF provides a universal disclaimer. Oh well.

**EPOV **

I woke up to the blaring of my alarm clock at ten past nine in the morning.

_Fuck_.

I was already ten minutes late for my nine o'clock class. Not to mention the 8 a.m. run I hoped to fit in.

_Fuck that. _

I threw on the first pair of pants and shirt I found on the floor, hopped to my ensuite bathroom while pulling on my socks, arrived at the sink and splashed cold water on my face. I looked at my reflection in the mirror; death looked me back in the face. I had bags under my eyes and gross eye crusty stuff on the inner parts of my eye from still being half asleep, not to mention my hair was in absolute disarray.

_Sex hair._

I still couldn't recall how I came to arrive back here last night and not in some random girl's pants. I remember a bar, and then another bar, and then a sports bar (why the fuck I'd show my face in one of those repugnant joints I'll never know, although I'm sure the frat brothers had something to do with it) and then a few more bars. I remember chicks and more chicks and the twins and grinding and fighting off guys who wanted to have a threesome with my twins... _my_ twins, the twins I promised to protect from the evils that are Ivy League frat boys, and then I remember Bella.

No... no that can't be right.

Bella's at Harvard. This is _Brown_. Bella was not at the bar. Bella was not one of the chicks I encountered last night.

And it's a good fucking thing too because I must have been wasted out of my mind and I'd be damned if she saw me acting belligerent and self-destructive like I'd recently been behaving under the influence of my recent favourite, Johnnie Walker Blue Label.

I hobbled back to my bedroom and noticed my bed was empty, which was for once in my life a relief. I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself if I went out and fucked some college broad after putting Bella on a pedestal for months and not even so much as _looking_ at another girl because my mind was in tunnel vision, and the vision it was focused on was Bella.

I grabbed my phone off the bedside table and began flipping through photos of the night; me and Jasper, me and Alice, a group photo of all of us, a photo of myself and my roommates, one of me, Rose and Emmett.... cool... Rose and Emmett came by?

My phone flickered and died before I could get through the rest of the photos but that didn't matter. I had fucking Introduction to Business to hustle my ass to and I'd be fucked if I missed the first day on account of being hungover and still a little wasted. That shit wouldn't land me a job on Wall Street.

I popped about six mints and grabbed my laptop and threw it in my bag and practically flew down the stairs. Cardboard boxes were strewn across the room and shit was just carelessly thrown everywhere. I made a mental note to call the cleaners in for some serious damage control before my epic "back to school" bash of the century which was happening this Friday, only three days away.

The guys I was living with were in some random fraternity and insisted on bringing their pals over which bumped the guest list up some hundred or so and on top of that anyone who was anyone was coming, but since it was a Cullen party it was invite only, as usual. The location may have changed but the rules did not, thus there'd be no riff-raff walking through the doors of this exclusive residence.

The twins were heading out the door, dressed as skanky as possible and did they really need to be drawing so much attention to themselves? They were already European supermodels which bumped them up a few notches in most people's books, tanned as hell and practically glistening, but they had to wear all this clingy revealing couture shit on top of the aforementioned fact, which just wasn't sitting right with me.

"Gee, Jules, hold up," I called out. They whipped around and a huge smile grew on Gigi who was thrilled to see me up at this obscene hour of the morning. _Crack of fucking dawn..._

"Bonjour Eddie," she purred, and damnit these girls didn't even have to _try_ and they sounded seductive and exotic. Those accents that made each word roll off the tip of their lips didn't hurt, either.

"Ladies, are you really wearing that?" I asked, raising my eyebrow at their barely-there outfits. Gigi wore some sad excuse for jean cut-offs that barely skimmed her thighs with a skimpy loose white tank top while Juli wore beige shorts and a flowy see-through blouse with a camisole or some shit underneath but it barely covered her better assets, if you get my drift. To top it off they had their jewels and fancy sandals and all that shit so if the fact that they weren't supermodels that exuded sex out of every single pore didn't capture the attention of every man and woman, the fact that they dressed to the nines certainly made them stand out, demanding the attention of any innocent passersby.

"Yes we are!!" Juli exclaimed, "Now hurry up Eddie, or you're going to be muchos late."

Great. A third language. "Spanish Jules? Really?" I teased, hoping they weren't going to start conversing in tri-lingual conversations with me and actually expect me to keep up. I should've majored in modern languages for fuck sakes.

After moments of deliberation and a lot of hesitation from the girls (because hell, they wanted to look 'super cute' for their first day of class) they both threw cardigans over their clothing making them somewhat less of a feast for the hungry freshman eyes.

Satisfied with even the slightest victory, I linked arms with the girls and the three of us headed off to main campus, each splitting off to our respective classes at the V in the road; Juli and Gigi went to some anthropology lecture, while I headed to business.

As soon as I found my lecture hall I did a quick scan of the room for any familiar Forks faces and found none. I was slightly relieved by this revelation, which meant I wouldn't get the asshole treatment that would surely come my way from any Forks people who were still under the impression I ditched Bella because I wanted other ass. The thought of her thinking that still made me sick, so many months later.

I felt the familiar twinge in my stomach that I got from feeling that emptiness... that void in my life I felt when thinking about Bella. It felt like a haste sucker-punch to the gut followed by hunger and fear and sadness – all sorts of terrible emotions bottled up in one big package that hit me like the wind.

I shook the thoughts out of my head and was soon distracted by my own real-life sucker punch, being thrown at my gut. I barely had time to react when I looked and saw the face of a familiar douchebag.

"So turns out you were smart enough for Brown, eh Emmett?" I joked. What the fuck was he doing here in my first year business course at Brown?

"I'm enrolled for the year bitches," Emmett boomed, earning a bunch of irate glares from the group of keeners who were quietly seated, laptops open, pens in hand and ready for some early morning learning.

I rolled my eyes at their reaction. Seriously kids, take it easy.

"Well it's great to see you," I replied earnestly, "What happened to Harvard or wherever you were headed?" I asked.

"Fuck Harvard," Emmett bellowed again; this time he was interrupted by the professor clearing his throat loudly, which was clearly directed at us.

"Tell me 'bout it later bro," I said, lowering my voice noticeably and patting him on the shoulder, "for now, let's take a seat before this group of nerds gang up and kick both our asses."

We grabbed two seats at the back of the classroom and about twenty-five minutes into lecture I had to kick Emmett's leg to wake him up from his slumber; his snoring had become obtrusive and actually made it impossible to hear Prof Dompfelmeyer's lecture on Business Ethics.

In my personal, highly regarded opinion, fuck business ethics, but judging by the group of eager beavers sitting in the front row pushing their glasses up the bridge of their nose, not everyone felt the same way as Emmett and I.

"Mister Cullen, I suggest you and your steroid-jacked football playing buddy take your nap outside, or otherwise shut up and pay attention," Prof Dompfelmeyer said loudly, and fuck it, he knew my name already.

Deciding this lecture was useless anyway, Emmett and I deked out the back of the room, causing more commotion than if we had actually stayed for the lecture.

Once outside, Emmett continued his bellowing. "As I was saying," he began, clearing his throat intentionally as if to make a point, "Harvard. Sucks. Ass," he articulated the words perfectly for effect.

I laughed and motioned for him to continue, for this would be good to hear.

"Fuck the pretentious faculty there, fuck the pretentious rules, fuck the team colors, and most of all," he said, his voice growing louder with intensity as he established his argument, "Most of all, fuck the chicks there."

"Really?" I said incredulously. "I'd have thought Harvard chicks were hot? You know, good breeding, wealthy families and the like. The American tradition. Wholesome chicks, like Natalie Portman. Definitely no Jessica Stanleys hanging around that neck of the woods."

The discussion of women was one topic Emmett loved with a passion, could never get enough of and took very seriously so I was in for a fully detailed account of how chicks at Harvard paled in comparison to Brown chicks.

"First of all, they're not like that at all. Fuck, you'd think Natalie Portmans would be running around, all scholarly with tight white blouses buttoned down a little too much, sinfully short skirts, and tortoise shell reading glasses, but no, not at all," he said, genuinely shocked with his findings.

"Really eh? No sexy schoolgirls running around in short skirts?" I replied, full of sarcasm because hell, who the fuck would expect that of Harvard chicks but Emmett.

"No man. No way. I know you think this is a big joke but seriously..... so far at Brown I've seen all eights, or _plus_ even. Fucking eight-point-somethings and shit. Harvard was all fives and below. It was downright disgraceful. I should contact the Dean regarding the lack of good looking women and how it cost them the best wide receiver in all of America."

"Not to mention a senator's son," I added.

"Not to mention is right. Damnit I need to send them a letter ASAP. Tell them to shove it where it counts."

"Emmett man, you raise some valid points," I began, taking a seat outside the campus coffee shop. "But you forgot the most important detail of all. You're dating the fucking hottest chick there is in our beautiful chick-filled country of America."

Emmett frowned slightly and took a seat beside me. "That very well may be Cullen, but a guy can look can't he? And what the fuck is the point of going to fuckin Harvard if there aren't any chicks to check out while I'm in class?"

I nodded in agreement, not really caring about the calibre of women here, or at Harvard, or anywhere for that matter. All I could think of was Bella.

"Anyway, you and those fucking hot and hilarious twins are here, and damnit man, the way they roll their R's when they speak, I can't even begin to imagine what else they use those talented tongues for..."

I shook my head, not really wanting to hear about what he was alluding to, and hoping he'd drop the subject.

"You know, since they're lesbians and all-"

"Yes, I get it Emmett," I interrupted. Those girls were like sisters to me, or cousins at the very least, but mostly sisters, and man I didn't want to hear about that shit. "Yes they're very attractive girls but damnit McCarty, I've been living with them for months and _months_ and I don't want to hear about that kinda shit. They're my pals, alright?"

Emmett was taken aback by my spiel but he agreed nonetheless. "Sorry dude. That was uncool of me."

Thing about Emmett was he was fucking blunt, and took things straight-up when you said them bluntly. He wasn't one for subtle hints, so if I ever had a problem with it I had to say it outright, and he'd back right off. He was cool like that.

"So what's Rose doing?"

"Rose is taking something or other to pass the time, but you know she doesn't really want to do anything with it. She's into modelling and is just taking courses to breeze by and get a degree because Esme's been driving her nuts over it. And in case you're wondering," he lowered his voice, looking around as if to see if anyone were listening; "Bella pretty well cut off Rose too. Rose and I were just trying to help and when that didn't do shit, I backed off, but Rose kept trying until that _also_ proved to be fucking pointless as shit. So it's best you guys _never_ speak again because she's messed up as is."

I shrugged off what he said nonchalantly and stored it away for more in-depth contemplation when I was on my own and could think about what the implications of this might be.

"But yeah, Rose, you know she's bright as fuck but she doesn't care to do anything academic so why push her, right? She's a great girl, gonna make a great wife, and if she wants to be a trophy wife I'm more than fine with that. She doesn't have to prove to me that she's smart; I know she's smart by how witty she is and how she talks about things, you know?"

I nodded in agreement. Hearing Emmett talk about Rosalie so affectionately made me realize what I had given up in Bella. If only I could talk about someone I wanted to spend my life with and be with forever... it was sappy as shit but it was the only thing I could think of when I thought of Bella – our future together that was meant to be and that I was missing out on.

"Plus, what's nice about Brown," Emmett had been talking the whole time and I'd actually tuned him out thinking about Bella. "Is that you can pick your courses and don't really gotta commit to a program, you know?"

"Uh.. yah," I replied absentmindedly, "Yeah, that's true eh? It's pretty bomb."

"So I'm thinking I'll do football while I'm here and see how that goes, and do economics or poli sci or some shit and go to law school after... maybe follow in my dad's footsteps if I'm ambitious enough, and if not, he'll get me a cushy job as a partner in a law firm somewhere," he concluded, quite content with his life plan.

"She could look into RISD programs, do something useful such as interior design or cooking to learn how to be a good little housewife," I joked, and Emmett laughed heartily in response. He knew I wouldn't actually take a serious jab at his girlfriend's potential, or that would result in me getting my ass kicked by the Brown football team and himself.

"She's enrolled in cognitive psych right now, but we'll see how that goes," he said, his mind seemingly consumed with the love of his life. "Rose is... Rose." He shook his head in amazement. He was right. Nothing quite summed up the wonder that was the self-assured Rosalie Hale.

"Rose is doing just fine and you will too man," I said reassuringly. "I'm happy to have you here at Brown. Now we're all together, the five of us." _The only thing missing was Bella. _

--

After a particularly wallowy day I managed to get my ass into second gear, go for a jog with Emmett (who led us to the side of campus where the cheerleader try-outs were being held, no less) and start getting my pep squad of party planners on the go.

I picked up my phone and dialled Alice's number, hoping she'd be around because nobody was capable of hosting a party quite like her.

She picked up on the second ring, and sounded overly excited about something. "Hello Edward!" she exclaimed loudly, "How are you this _fine_ afternoon?" She spoke so loud I had to hold the phone away from my ears to prevent deafness by screeching pixie voice.

"Fine, fine," I replied monotonously, "Hey listen, I'm hosting the shitshow of the century, first annual Brown 'anyone who's anyone' gathering to celebrate being wealthy and elite, and I was wondering-"

"Of course I'll come, Edward! You know I'm always up for a party, and you know what? Hell, let me plan the _whole_ thing!" She made some awkward squealing noise; "It'll be _way_ better if you just let me do everything, ok? I'll start right now."

_Bingo_.

"Aw, really?" I tried to act surprised but obviously wasn't in the least. "You're the greatest, cuz. Now there's a hundred and fifty people showing, so make it good. I'll give you my AmEx and you can go from there."

After going over a few other details with Alice I was in dire need of getting my mind off shit. I was tempted to resort to the old habit of blow, but ever since that nearly fatal overdose I promised Bella I would never, in my entire life, do anything like that again. The terms still stood, and although I'll never see her again, I would never break a promise with Bella.

The idea of just "happening" to visit Harvard for some random trip or another and then "bumping" into her occurred once or twice, though I'll admit even I thought that was taking things a bit too far. Besides, she was in a rough place, and no matter how badly I wanted to see her, no matter how much I needed to see for myself that small shred of my Bella that was left in her, I couldn't do that to her. She didn't need to see me. She needed to move on with her life, date other guys who hopefully wouldn't have a crazy mob after them, hoping to serve their head on a platter to her. I felt that familiar and unfriendly twinge in my stomach and lied to myself by deciding a smoke would ease the feeling... or perhaps a Valium.

I kept trying to deny the fact that I was still one hundred percent in love with Bella, which just made my inner anguish so much more painful than it needed to be. Every fucking thing reminded me of her, not to mention these apparitions or whatever the fuck I was having. I'd be in a crowded place, such as the campus cafeteria, and swear to god I see Bella in my periphery. I look, and she's gone.

Don't get me wrong; I know how this fucking looks. I'm clearly a nutcase. I'm undoubtedly losing my mind, and every single shred of sanity I had left.

I tried to convince myself I was a perfectly sane individual but it kept happening and happening and I just couldn't reason my way out of this. It tempted me to go to Harvard to satisfy my curiosity once and for all; I would look her up, see that she was in Boston the whole time, and then lock myself in the nearest psych ward.

--

_Friday _

I spent the last two days hanging out at every campus bar and drinking away my sorrows while trying to still get to my classes.

_Fuck class. _

I knew all the shit we were talking about anyway. I ditched all my first year classes and signed up for advanced second and third year classes hoping I'd learn a thing or two but I knew most of that shit too.

I decided since I was going to get epically wasted tonight it was a good idea to lay off the sauce and opt out of my mid-afternoon scotch with the frat brothers and settle for a jog with the twins instead. They took up running in order to keep toned or whatever the hell they said it was for, but believe me, two girls couldn't get any more toned. Rose was supposed to come along for the jog so I sent her a quick text hoping she'd get her shit together and we could do this already.

I suggested we bring the poodle, Bob (and hopefully 'lose him' along the way) but the girls didn't think he'd be capable of running and I had to agree with that. He was a lazy fucker who just pissed on my leather couches all day and lounged around like he didn't have a care in the world.

Before I could get my jog on, my phone beeped impatiently on my dresser and I went over to see what the fuck was going on now.

A text from Alice; no surprise there. That girl had little to no patience and she'd labelled the subject as "urgent!" so I couldn't very well ignore it, especially since she was doing all the planning and shit for my party – not that she'd have it any other way.

I opened the message and it simply read: _"And, after all, what is a lie? 'Tis but the truth in a masquerade" – Alexander Pope. _

"_You have my attention..."_ I texted back, wondering where she was going with this.

"_I'll be over in five,"_ she replied.

I looked out my bedroom window, overlooking a huge front yard and part of main campus and noticed a shit load of utility vans parked on our lawn.

"What the-" I jogged down two flights of stairs to the main floor and saw absolute chaos; caterers, decorators, and what looked like movers – bringing shit in and taking stuff out – filled the entire first floor.

"Hey- hey buddy!" I hollered out to the very flamboyant looking balding man wearing a pink sweater and white leisure pants, who looked to be in charge of this circus act.

"Hello sir, how may I be of your assistance?" he replied cheerfully, dramatically taking a bow and reaching out his hand for me to shake.

I just looked at it and dismissed the gesture, and he frowned. "You must be the booze boy we ordered up, to load up the fridges with Cristal," he said, grabbing one of three BlackBerry's he had strapped to his belt and began typing away on it. "Very well, chop chop," he snapped, "we don't have all day."

"Right, well I don't know about you, but I own the place," I replied dryly, and just as I was about to tell them all they had the wrong address, Alice fluttered into the room, gracefully introducing herself to all the employees in sight.

"Alice Brandon, it is so very nice of you all to come on such short notice. Now, we are doing a masquerade theme, a la Romeo and Juliet –"

"Alice, what the?" I motioned for her to come in the kitchen and she followed behind, looking a little disheartened.

"What's wrong Edward? I thought you'd like a masquerade theme?" she said, looking innocent as all get out which meant there was _definitely_ something going on.

"What's with the circus act? I thought the shit show of the century was just going to be drinks and debauchery, not a fuckin royal gala!"

"Oh Edward, stop interfering. Just nevermind. I've taken the necessary steps to ensure your party is absolutely unforgettable. Believe me, dear cousin, it will be grand," she said, gesturing into the abyss.

I frowned. "Well alright then, but good luck getting the frat boys into wearing a mask. And me too, for that matter."

"Already been taken care of," she replied confidently. "I've arranged a mask for you, and believe it or not, Rosalie already took the frat boys mask shopping with a little gentle persuasion," she boasted, ruffling around in her purse for something. "Ah hah! Here we are," she handed me a gold Phantom of the Opera mask, and I looked at her hesitantly.

"Alice, really?"

"Oh come on, suck it up! Just wear it with a suit and you'll look like a million bucks. Really. It'll be worth it to see..." she suddenly got flushed and I knew she was up to something.

"See.....??" I persisted, not wanting to put up with any bullshit from Alice today.

"....All those hot chicks in slinky dresses and glittery masks" she asserted. "Now knock it off, you're ruining my party planning committee. You're bringing down their morale. Go on, get!" she shooed me out of the house, practically pushing me out the door. "Go bother someone else in your spare time. Come back by eight o'clock promptly. Don't be late! The host can't be late for his own party!" she hollered out the door behind me, then slammed it shut.

--

The twins were in my room helping me with the finishing touches of my outfit for the masquerade of the century I was allegedly hosting.

I wore that random mask Alice insisted on me wearing, a black tuxedo, and an expensive evening cape that I owned for some godforsaken reason.

The girls giggled as they did a once-over of my outfit, then began bickering in French.

"Is it good ladies?" I asked, not really giving a damn, and just wanting a drink already.

"Oui, oui, vraiment very good," Gigi purred, then made this "meow" sound since she was supposed to be a cat, apparently. She sure fooled me. She was wearing some slinky black dress, stilettos, and a small fluffy black mask so I suppose she somewhat resembled a cat, but that's certainly not what first came to mind upon looking at her.

Juli wore an elaborate looking bright pink dress with ruffles that reached the hem, right above her knees, and a matching pink mask. She was supposed to be a butterfly. Right.

I sauntered over to my closet and grabbed the bottle of Cristal I had hidden up in my stash and cracked it open, then poured us each a glass in a champagne flute.

Juli and Gigi took a sip and then linked their arms in mine, and we headed down into the party.

"Thanks so much to Leon for his awesomeness in every aspect of this

story. Go and read his other work in the meantime, it's all wicked

stuff.

So sorry about the prolonged update period this time.. I am really,

really sorry. Was bogged down with work and so much other crap and I

just wasn't feeling the writing so I had to wait until inspiration

found me once again. Thanks to everyone for sticking with us this far

-- you guys are what made FA such an enjoyable story.

Next update will be sooner than this. It's Leon's turn so you know you

have something really amazing to look forward to!

Love, Grey. xox"


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N: Hi all! Grey-Eyed-Blonde here!! Ok, so, Leon needed a bit of a break, but he did write the beginning of this chapter so be sure to thank him for that. Then I took over and wrote the rest, so I hope you all enjoy it. SORRY ABOUT THE WAIT, I know, I know, I suck. Next chapter will be up soon. I PROMISE. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own it. **

**BPOV**

"Hey there," he whispered against my lips, hands settled on my hips as he pulled me toward him. I smiled and pulled slightly away, just outside of kissing distance to tease him.

"I'm sorry. Is there something I can help you with?" I asked, feigning disinterest. He chuckled and moved one hand up to my head, pulling me back and kissing me softly.

"There might be," he said, punctuating with another kiss. "I'm not sure." I laughed and wiggled out of his grasp, but just as I turned, he tightened his arms around me. "No, no, no. You're mine, little girl."

I slumped into him and laid all my weight back, forcing him to support me. He chuckled louder and lifted me over his shoulder. I squealed as he banged on Nessie's door and began to walk down the stairs of the apartment. He called her out as he bounded down quickly.

"Felix, st-stop!" I laughed out as he jumped the final steps and put me back on the floor, capturing me in his hold around my waist again. He started to run his hands along my stomach and hips and kiss my neck. I couldn't stop giggling as he tried to make ridiculous noises on purpose - he was always so playful. A clearing throat interrupted his game and we both turned to see Nessie standing at the top of the stairs, her hands on her hips.

"Please, get a room. No one wants to see you two do the freaky," she muttered as she came down the stairs, dressed well for the party tonight. She wore a lilac colored ball gown, expensive jewelry, and had her hair styled impeccably. Some rich kid was hosting a party across campus, and while we weren't ones to typically attend, Alice had come out of nowhere after disappearing these last quarters. She insisted we attend this one occasion, and while I was resistant at first, Nessie and Felix finally convinced me that it might be a good idea.

_Ah._ Felix. After that fateful day at Starbucks_, _things couldn't have gone better. He was the perfect gentleman on our first date, quickly followed by our second date, and then the third, and then the fourth… and things had just been amazing. There were no mindless conflicts, worrying, fearing the worst. Everything was easy. How it should be.

Not much time had passed, but I wasn't going to complain. For once, everything was simple sailing.

"I think people would pay good money for that, actually," I quipped. "Your whore-fests on the other hand…"

I trailed off, snickering as her eyes narrowed and huffed. "You know, you better be happy I don't want to mess up my costume, or I'd jump you right now," she shot back.

"Yeah, yeah, come on. Let's go." I laughed as Felix pulled me to his side again.

"Bella?" Nessie said, indicating I was forgetting something. "You could do better with your outfit babe. May I?" _Oh yah, I forgot I was still wearing my jeans-and-tee uniform. _

She dragged me away from Felix into her room where she instantly began fluffing my hair, spraying hairspray everywhere, then applied mascara, blush, and all sorts of other products that were foreign to me.

When she stepped out of the way for me to look in the mirror, I was a new person. My hair was bouncy and fell in soft curls around my neck and shoulders, accentuating my bare neck that was exposed in my gold halter-neck gown. Tracing the low neckline were little Swarovski crystals -- an indication that this dress must have cost Nessie a fortune.

Something about the way that girl spent money and clearly had a taste for the finer things in life made me wonder about her past… and how much money she really had versus what she lead on. It seemed like I was the only girl ever who was broke and working to earn a living. _Whatever_. Felix didn't care about any of that status rich-kid stuff like you-know-who did. I felt on par with Felix, even though I knew his family had a bit of money. Let's say he was more… modest about it. Same with Nessie. She didn't care… but the fact that we had a sick upscale apartment at Brown was all thanks to her.

"Wow bitch, I look hot," I said, my eyes bulging out my head in awe.

"Yeah, yeah, stop being so full of yourself," Nessie joked, giving me a quick squeeze and then taking my hand. "Now get your man dressed and we're ready to go," she ordered.

***

When we arrived to the party butterflies started twirling in my stomach. Expensive cars and limos with chauffeurs lined the block around the massive house where the party was being held.

"Fucking hell Nessie, what'd you bring me to?" I never saw such a beautifully decorated exterior of a party. Dainty lights trailed along the house and accented the shrubs and trees around the lot, and a path of candles let us down the driveway to the front door.

A buff dude who appeared to be in his 20s carefully examined us and then looked at clipboard in front of him. "Name?" he asked flatly. He was no doubt a football player.

"We're Felix's plus two," Nessie answered; I could tell by her voice she was already giddy about attending this classy affair. "That's Felix Volturi, as in _the_ Volturi's."

"I had no clue you were into these functions," I muttered under my breath to Nessie as the dude checked the list for our names. "It's like a friggin debutante."

"Masquerade, actually," the security dude corrected.

Whatever. "Yah, one of them," I replied sarcastically. "Who's joint is this anyway?"

Before the security guy could answer, a dainty little pixie, dressed as a pixie, rummaged her way through the crowd over to greet us.

"Ahhh!" she shrieked, loud enough to scare the fur off a cat. "I am _so_ glad you came! I totally didn't think you would come, B" she ran up to me and embraced me in a hug as big as her delicate frame could handle, and deeply inhaled my scent. "Beautiful fragrance, btw."

"Uh, thanks. You look good as usual. You're a -?"

"Fairy," she confirmed. "Sugar plum fairy. _Oooh_ masquerades are so much fun! Besides, both of you looking stunning," she said to Nessie and me. "Seriously you guys, you look so good I wouldn't have recognized you if it hadn't been for hearing your sarcastic banter over the crowd."

"Uh, thanks," I repeated, not sure if it was a compliment that I looked so good she could hardly tell it was me.

"Anyone else we know around tonight?" Nessie asked as we merged into the entry way toward the bar area. The interior was even more stunning than I could have ever imagined; I swear to god Alice had chandeliers installed just so she could weave gold ribbon through them.

"Um, well Rose and Emmett are crashing a bit later; she's arriving as a cat and Emmett's just... well, Emmett with a mask I suppose," Alice furrowed her brow as we approached the bartender who was also masked.

"I'll have a cosmopolitan, and whatever these girls want," she ordered to the bartender, who upon recognizing her jumped up and quickly whipped up her drink.

"Three shots of tequila for me," I said. "Ness?"

"I'll take a vodka tonic, thanks," she said as she scanned the room for prospects.

I turned to take Felix's order but he went off somewhere, likely to connect with his buddies that were arriving here tonight.

Alice flitted off to go yell at someone who wasn't using a coaster, and after throwing back my three shots, I linked arms with Nessie and led us toward the dance area.

"So I wonder if Alice planned this whole getup," I hollered over the music to Nessie, who was swaying back in forth in tune to the music, already slightly hammed.

"Yah, some tool with a big trust fund no less," she replied. I took her hand and we started dancing and giggling and just being drunken fools with each other when I felt a strong pair of hands wrap around my waist.

"Baby, I'm gonna head outside for awhile with the guys. There's a sick patio out back and we're just gonna chill and catch up for a bit. Do you wanna come?" I could smell Felix's thick cologne as I breathed in his scent and shook my head.

"Nah I'm good here with Ness. Thanks though." Just as he turned to walk away I quickly grabbed him by the arm and pulled him in for a deep, passionate kiss before releasing him. "You're incredible," I whispered. He grinned back widely and nestled in closely to whisper in my ear.

"No, you are Bella. You look fabulous." And with that, he headed out of the room with a posse of guys, leaving me and Nessie to get recklessly drunk so we could be belligerent fools on the dance floor.

After throwing back a few more drinks, the room was fuzzy and the trance-like music pulsed through my veins. Nessie took me by the hand and led me into another room, insisting on showing me some hot 'sex-on-a-stick' guy that she couldn't resist any longer.

"Fine, but if he's into a three-way, I'm splitting," I reasoned, guessing the sex on a stick fella noticed us grinding up against each other and made eyes with innocent naive Nessie.

"Deal, he's all mine." She took me to the living room which was dark with twinkly lights giving the illusion of stars in the sky, and it was absolutely breathtaking. Five guys sat on a big leather couch, four of them snorting coke off the glass table; the fifth one just sat there solemnly looking around bored out of his mind. Occasionally a chick would approach him and wrap her arm around him but he'd shrug it off and remove her hand as if it carried the plague on it. His lack of regard for the girls and blatant dismissal of them actually made me laugh a bit.

Nessie needed some liquid courage so I just waited there for her return, watching the guy more closely, who now looked so bummed I almost felt sorry for him. I knew exactly what it was like to be bummed, so when someone looked like their dog just got hit by a truck I wanted to help them out.

Unfortunately I was drunk and not so smooth, and my opening line of "Did your dog get hit by a truck," was responded with a furrowed brow, a small grin, and an "I wish."

_Uhh... sadomasochist? _

"Nope, but if you knew my dog, you'd wish he was dead too," he replied.

_Shit. I called him a fucking sadomasochist out loud? _

The guy just looked at me curiously and let out a small chuckle, then held out his hand. "And you are?"

"No names," I insisted. We already had masks on and all I could see where his perfect sparkling eyes, and that's all the temptation I needed for tonight. We didn't need formalities and phone numbers, and _damn it you're dating Felix Volturi! What's wrong with you!_

"I need a drink." I quickly stumbled out of the room leaving the guy sitting there puzzled out of his mind. I bumped into Nessie – like literally bumped into her, making her spill her drink all over her dress.

"_Whoops_," I said sheepishly, backing away from her before she beat me to a pulp.

"Whore!" she snapped back, but then gave me the telltale smile showing me she didn't really mean it.

"So I saw you macking on my sex on a stick man, I hope you put a good word in for me."

Whoops again. I didn't bother explaining to her that for a split second I contemplating jumping his bones because, hell, he was just so fucking irresistible, but I did opt for telling her I needed to get some air with Felix.

"You're leaving me high and dry with this guy aren't you," she whined, wringing her hands nervously.

"Stop it! You're reminding me of myself! You are a hot, confident woman. You need to march up to him and say, dude, I wanna jump your bones." _Good motivational speech, Bella._ "And my friend does too," I slipped in quickly. Before she could screech at me, I bolted for the door and stumbled onto the patio where Felix was having a bromantical discussion with his friends who looked to be straight out of Little Italy. Maybe big Italy, actually.

I caught a drift of their conversation which was something about a den, and bait, and catching something... I wasn't coherent enough to understand so I just ran up to Felix and pecked him on the cheek. "I missed you," I said, giggling uncontrollably because I was drunk and thinking about something funny Nessie told me earlier today – something about a commercial for a diaphragm.

"Hey babe, these are my cousins, Caius, Alec, Demetri, and their girlfriends are inside, Heidi and Jane," he said, "And the others are –"

"Whoaaa, too many names," I interrupted, backing away slowly. "I need to go inside." There were too many people at once, and they all looked the same to me. It was overwhelming.

I turned around to walk away but Felix grabbed my arm, a little too tightly for comfort. "Hey, take it easy!" I protested, pulling away from him. He brought me in closer to him and looked me straight in the eyes; his expression was piercing and sharp. It made my heart beat faster than necessary, in a bad, nervous kind of way.

"Bella, you're wasted. Let me take you home." His voice was too demanding and assertive, and damnit all I wouldn't have a boyfriend tell me what to do.

"No!" I protested, wriggling free of his grip. "Let me go find Nessie!"

I bolted inside nearly tripping and falling on my face before some Good Samaritan caught me. I looked up to see it was the beautiful stranger from the couch and sure enough, Nessie was by his side. She had a concerned look on her face which kinda freaked me out, but whatever. No big deal.

"Bell, we need to get you home. Felix stays here," she ordered rudely, her voice a lot harsher than I'd ever heard. I turned around to see Felix standing behind me with his hands on his hips.

"If you don't mind Nessie, I'd like to take Bella home. She is my girlfriend after all," he argued.

"Yah Ness, whatever. Just someone take me home. I need to fucking rest up. I'm _waaaaaasted_." I began hiccupping and giggling and just being a hot mess overall which is when the hot masked guy steadied me with his hands and then gently lifted my chin up with his finger. I was kinda worried why this dude was making such intimate contact with me so I darted my gaze over to Nessie for an explanation, but she just shrugged her shoulders. Then the hot stranger looked me in the eyes for a long time, then carefully untied the string of my mask, letting it slowly fall to the floor.

"Bella, I need you to listen to me," the sexy stranger said, his voice sounding smooth and velvety and so strangely familiar.

All of a sudden it hit me. It hit me like a brick wall.

_Edward. _

I gasped, then covered my mouth and looked him in the eyes. There was no mistaking those topaz eyes. I ripped his mask off to reveal his face, and I was dumbfounded.

I never realized how incredibly gorgeous he was. I never fully appreciated his beauty as much as I did right then and there. Seeing him standing there on his own, alone and vulnerable, made me realize how lucky I was to have him.

And then I remembered how he left me to screw around with other girls.

_Other girls. _

That's when I saw _them_. The two scantily clad women wearing something that passed as lingerie moreso than a costume approached him and wrapped their long, bronze arms around him; one slut on each side. Just the way he liked it.

A panicked look formed on his face, and _oh don't be so shocked, Fuckward._ He knew he was in the wrong, and here he was looking like fucking Hugh Hefner with the playmates of the month salivating for his balls.

What pissed me off the most was I fucking knew those girls from class. I remember bumping into them and thinking they were fucking gorgeous and beautiful and I wanted to be them.

They had him now. He obviously left me for them.

They were fucking goddesses. They were Aphrodite and he was Adonis.

And I was Bella. Plain, simple, boring Bella.

I felt myself getting faint and angry and full of hate. I didn't know if I wanted to punch him or kick him or scream or cry, but just as I was about to make some sort of attack on him, everything went dark and I fell.

***

I regained consciousness and woke up on a bed surrounded by the playmates, Edward, Felix, and Nessie. I was uneasy being around this crowd of people and just wanted to be the fuck home... and away from Edward. All of a sudden my sugar levels came back to normal and I took advantage of it.

"You fucking skeeze, how DARE you come here when you said you were going to Harvard?! How dare you stalk me here to shove them in my face and make me miserable just like I was a year ago! How DARE YOU!!!" I launched out of bed ready to strangle the motherfucker and he made no sign of stopping me but then fucking Nessie jumped in front of him to block my wrath and then restrained me. "Whose side are you on, Judas?" I snapped at her.

She gave me a concerned look and sighed. "Bella, you need to settle down," she began.

"The fuck I do! Fuck you, Nessie. Fuck you for bringing me here. Did you know this was gonna happen? Did you fucking KNOW?! You were rejected by him too, remember? He fucking ditched you too!!"

I screamed and wailed and acted like a two year old, and looked over at Felix who looked like he'd just seen a ghost.

"What are you looking at, huh?!" I spat at him, but he just backed away and looked down at the ground. I fucking terrified everyone.

I terrified myself.

"Bella, you're fucking insane," Edward said flatly, showing no emotion, showing no nothing. His face was dead and his eyes were void of any emotion. He looked like Cokeward.

"I'm insane?" I began, my chest heaving as I started to hyperventilate with rage.

"She is... very nice, mais oui?" One of the playmates said, the blonde whore, who was pretty and beautiful and could be a cover girl for any magazine out there. Fuck her. The brunette rubbed her shoulders and played with her hair affectionately, then whispered something foreign to her.

Fucking skanks. They were probably dykes no less. Only Edward.

"Nice new girlfriends," I sneered, glaring daggers at the beauty queens.

"Bella, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. I don't want to see you anymore," Edward said without even looking up at me. He was a fucking coward. His eyes were red like he'd been crying or some shit, or maybe shooting coke, yah, probably shooting coke, and his fucking face was blank and his voice was dead. He was dead.

He couldn't even fucking look me in the eye anymore. He couldn't even fucking give me the respect of looking at me when he spoke.

He was a fucking sad excuse for a man.

"You're a fucking coward, Edward"! I screeched, trying to launch myself at him. "Fucking tell me that to my face, you fucking pussy! Fucking tell me you can't --- can't," I started heaving uncontrollably, then began choking out tears and hyperventilated some more.

So slowly he brought his eyes up to my face, took a deep breath, and clenched his jaw tightly. Without fucking stuttering or blinking or even showing any emotion he said flat out "I don't want to see you ever again."

I looked over at Felix who was sizing Edward up, likely ready to kick his ass for me -- no doubt they'd have a fair fight. When he noticed me looking at him, he came over to me and lightly pecked me on the cheek. "Come on babe, let me take you home," he whispered. I tried to gauge Edward's reaction as Felix touched me affectionately, but he remained with his jaw clenched, face blank, still looking at the exact spot he was looking at when he told me he didn't want to see me ever again.

"Let's get out of here," I said, propping myself up to get out of the bed but then I stopped before I got up and grabbed Felix's jaw, bringing his mouth to mine, then I crushed my lips against his passionately in a deep kiss. I groaned into his lips and made sure to throw in lots of tongue action, and then I released him and got up. Before I left the room I made sure to flash Edward a wicked glare, who was still just staring into the abyss.

Felix drove me home against the wishes of Nessie and Edward, but whatever, fuck them both. He was rude to me and she was dead to me so that was that.

I was super car sick but Felix was a good driver, so I leaned back into the plush leather seats and let myself fall asleep, knowing that he would take good care of me and make sure I got home safely.

When I woke up, I wasn't in my apartment. I was disoriented and the room was spinning uncontrollably – it was the strangest sensation for a hangover ever. I'd drank tons more before and never once felt like this afterward. I shrugged it off and laid back down into the bed that I soon realized was Felix's.

A few minutes passed and I was only feeling worse, so I hobbled out of the bed to find Felix and get some water. When I entered the living room he was on the phone and raised his finger up for me to be quiet.

Whatever.

I found the kitchen sink, which was a huge surprise in my disoriented state, and poured myself a glass of water.

I brought the cup up to my lips, but before I was able to get a sip I felt a pair of hands handle me roughly from behind, wrap their arms around my neck, and pull me down to the ground where I involuntarily fell unconscious.

**A/N: Review like mad bbs! **


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: Hey guys. Wow! So many reviews for the last chapter!! That makes me very, very happy! I'm usually not a review whore, but let me just say, the support I've been receiving after my little break is definitely boosting my confidence. You guys rock. On that note, I am SO SORRY about not being able to reply to all of them. I had to do a toss-up between writing the chapter and replying to all the reviews, so I kept you interests in mind when I stuck to the chapters. But I do read each and every review. **

**I hope you like this chapter. **

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, blah. **

**EPOV**

Once Alice had enough people in my house to constitute a small country, I decided I was fucking sick and tired of the party. I wanted to be back in France on the beach just living my life as a hermit with my two coincidentally hot roommates with no school, no stress, no nothing.

So I sat on the couch with my roommates, the four frat guys sans Jasper because he was locked in a closet having a panic attack somewhere on Alice's behalf.

The frat guys were snorting coke and popping pills, a hobby I used to adore and partake in whenever the opportunity arose, but at the moment I'd rather be doing economics homework than do that shit.

Gigi and Juli were off somewhere doing chick things; likely making sport of making out in front of horny college guys to get a rise out of them, something they hadn't experienced til they came to America.

I scanned the room, searching for some eye candy but saw nothing. And what the hell was the point? Everyone had fucking masks on – most of which were elaborate as hell – so how the hell could you even tell if the chick was hot or not? I wasn't gonna wake up next to some chick who was practically deformed just because I happened to have a bad case of beer goggles mixed with the fact that her entire face was hidden.

Fuckin Alice and her elaborate ploys to do god knows what.

Two brunette chicks were practically banging each other on the dance floor in the room over; one wore a slinky gold number and the other a purple ball gown or some shit, and yah that stuff was sexy but my dick was dead and I didn't wanna get up and go over there to make the effort. So I sat with my head in my hands, wallowing as I had done for the last year basically.

I got up to go outside for a breath of fresh air and a smoke (how ironic) when I saw what seemed to be a mini mafia conversing on the patio. Six Italian dudes, some with accents, some without, were chilling going over some elaborate plans to either kidnap a chick or a dude, or whatever the fuck they were planning. It didn't sound legal whatever it was.

I ignored what I'd heard and went back inside, mentally kicking myself in the head for being such a paranoid douche.

"Cullen, nice party," some skanks purred in my ear as they inappropriately rubbed each other up against me on my way to the couch. I tried to be nice to them by smiling, though I'm pretty sure it came across as more of a grimace than anything.

I cleared my throat to make an attempt to reply to them over the loud music and mumbled, "It's uh, yah... I'm gonna," I pointed to the living room and walked off. It was pathetic.

I hung my head down low while my buddy went on about all the hot chicks in tight dresses and took a look around to make a contribution to his nonsense when I saw a timid looking girl check me out from across the room in my periphery.

She wore a tight gold silk dress that showed over her incredible figure; soft rolling hips, impeccable rack, long cascading curls that bounced whenever she swayed to the music, and wow, she was fucking gorgeous.

Standing there alone like a wallflower I wondered what her deal was. Why wasn't she being flocked by a mass of horny college guys who wanted to ram themselves into her? The thought made me shudder, and I was instantly reminded of why I'd never have another one night stand no matter how hard I tried. Clearly, the reason was Bella.

Looking at this beautiful woman I almost felt like I was betraying Bella, because I promised I'd love her and only her for the rest of my life. I caught the wallflower looking at me so I looked away quickly and hung my head in defeat.

I was about to go on minding my own business when I saw a pair of gold stilettos in front of me. I looked up past her long legs, up her hips, pausing for a little longer than necessary at her boobs before focusing on her masked face. She looked like she was supposed to be an Oscar award or something, because she was wearing gold from head to toe; dress, shoes, mask, etc.

Cept she looked like an Oscar in a sexy way, as if the Oscar statue was a chick. Like one of the bond girls from Goldfinger at the beginning, where they're all dancing in the nude in their golden paint...

"Did your dog get hit by a truck?" she blurted, and I furrowed my brow because hell, that's all I could muster when a hot girl comes up to you and is seemingly deranged. _Was she joking? _Only one way to find out...

"I wish," I grinned, hoping she'd pick up on the light-heartedness of my answer. Plus, my dog was a furry little shit name Frou-Frou or some crap so yah, replace the fuzz ball with a Doberman and we're cool.

"Uhh... sadomasochist?" she muttered, seemingly ready to walk away.

"No, but if you knew my dog you'd wish he were dead too," I replied, eyeing her carefully to gauge her response. She looked horrified. _Did I say something wrong? Fuck I was bad at this. _

She didn't run for the hills, so I took the next step. "And you are?" I held out my hand for her to shake.

"No names," she insisted, shaking her head.

Shut down. Or wait, did she want like a one-night stand? Because if so, that shit wasn't cool with me cuz well, I was a fucking pussy.

I kept looking at her eyes to try and figure out her deal, and damn she had expressive eyes. I smiled, finally happy to have a companion or someone to talk to when she looked at me like a dear in headlights.

"I need a drink." She stumbled out of the room, probably never to be seen again. I sighed loudly and waited for the next best thing to show up, and she did.

This one was wearing purple, which is when I realized she was the bump and grind partner of the golden girl I'd just had an awkward encounter with. Hopefully this one would go better.

And damn, these two girls looked almost identical. At least their smokin' bods and eyes did, because that's all I could really see of them.

This one had a bit more toned features, less soft and supple, less skinny in the arms and legs; more womanly I guess. Meh, what the hell was I going on about. As if it even mattered.

I looked up at the girl, who approached me in the exact same manner as the other one, cept this one blurted "I wanna jump your bones."

I leaned back away from her because, well, that was just too upfront for me and I laughed it off hoping she was joking.

She noticed my discomfort and started wringing her hands together anxiously.

"Well let me get a drink before that happens," I joked, but she didn't take it as a joke.

"You're into my friend, aren't you?" she said, squeezing in beside me and the coked out, nearly passed out frat boy beside me. "Man, I knew she had better luck with this..."

"What are you talking about," I said softly, and hopefully reassuringly. "She bolted because she thinks I'm a sadomasochist," I explained.

The chick nearly spit out her drink in laughter, and I was slightly offended that she was making fun of her buddy, but then I realized it was in a kind of affectionate way. These two girls clearly cared about each other a lot.

It was like Gigi and Juli, minus the dental dams.

"Well, I'm Edward," I said, holding out my hand. "And you are?"

The chick's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets and she gasped, covering her mouth. "Edward Cullen? _The_ Edward Cullen?" Goddamnit, I already had such a reputation with these Brown chicks after only a few weeks of being here. I was fucked.

"Unfortunately," I muttered, feeling totally sorry for my pathetic self.

"Renesmee."

_What. The. Fuck. _

"_THE_ Nessie?" I asked, my mouth gaping so widely my jaw probably dislocated.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" we both exclaimed simultaneously.

"You're supposed to be at Harvard!" I barked.

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S SUPPOSED TO BE AT HARVARD," she hollered at me.

"Duuuude," the random coked out frat guy butt in, "Nobody wants to be at Harvard." He passed out shortly after.

"Fuck man, this shit is fucked up," I shook my head in disbelief. Of all the fuckin Ivy League schools, she decides to crash mine. "That was like fuckin macking on my sister or some shit. Gross."

"Totally," she said, a look of disgust washing over her face.

"Wait, wait, wait. So if you're Nessie, then who the fuck was-?"

"Bella," she said flatly.

_WHAT THE FUCK. _

_MY_ Bella? My crazy, adorable, awkward Bella was hitting on _me_? And then she fucking bolted? Did she KNOW it was me? Is that why she ran off?

"Your guess is as good as mine," Nessie said, referring to my dumbfounded expression.

"Wow eh." I grabbed a mickey of vodka off the coke table and chugged it, squinting and making a ghastly face in response to the bitterness of the taste. That shit was fucking nasty.

"Okay, I'm telling you this only because I care about Bella, and even though you'll probably deny it, I know you still do too," Nessie began, doing the whole 'Miss Boss' thing that I hated so much. She was such a fucking bossy woman.

"I'm not denying shit; of course I still care about her. She's my fucking life."

"Riiiiiight," Nessie said, not believing a word I said. "And that's why you were hitting on me..."

It didn't look good, she had a point. "Well I hit on her first before she ran off," I argued.

"Whatever," she said dismissively. "Bella has a boyfriend. He loves her and she loves him. Leave them the fuck alone. Leave _her_ the fuck alone. She's moved on, and you need to let her do that. After all you've done, _you have to let her move on_."

Anger and rage and hatred of the motherfucker who laid his hands on my beautiful Bella washed over me and I stood up enraged. "Fuck that. I'm gonna kick his motherfucking ass."

"YEAH!" the cokeheads said in unison, standing up ready to rumble.

"Sit the fuck down," I hissed at them.

"Nessie, let's go kick his ass."

"Edward!" she snapped, grabbing me roughly by the collar of my shirt. "Fuck you. You HAVE to let her be. Leave her alone. If you love her, know that Felix is good for her."

Before I could be reasoned with, I got up and walked toward the door to go find Bella or run away or do something. _Anything_.

"Edward, wait," Nessie pleaded, taking me by the hand and looking me in the eyes with sincerity. "Please. Take a Valium or some shit so you don't kill him. We all know you can't control your rage."

She had a point. If I encountered the sick son of a bitch I'd definitely kill him. I didn't want to go to prison over something like this, especially since I fought so hard to leave her behind. It would fucking kill me if I was put away for life and I was never be able to see her again.

"Yah, whatever." I turned back to the table and grabbed what I assumed was a Valium and popped it in my mouth. "I'm good to go now. Even if I wanted to kill him" I swallowed the bitter pill, "I couldn't, cuz I'll be half conscious." It was foolproof.

It was no coincidence that as I ploughed through the mass of people toward the door Bella herself came stumbling in, just about ready to smack her head on the table.

_Good for her, my ass. _

Before she fell to the ground I wrapped my arm around her delicate waist, the sensation of lust and an insatiable thirst for her taste running through me like a madman, and swept her up into my arms.

I noticed a guy standing behind her as if he owned her and he quickly came in to claim his possession. _Fucking sick son of a bitch, treating Bella like she was his dog or something._ Fucking skeeze.

"Bella, we need to get you home," Nessie said assertively, grabbing Bella. "Felix stays here."

I shot Nessie a grateful look and mouthed 'thank you' to her, but she just pretended she didn't see it as if to hide it from Felix. I owed that girl one.

Fucktard opened his big mouth and ordered Nessie around saying something about being Bella's boyfriend and fuck this and fuck that my head was spinning and I didn't fucking care to hear that douche talk.

All I could do was focus on Bella. When I looked at her, it was as if the whole world went silent and still.

It was blissful.

Bella was hiccupping and mumbling on about how wasted she was and Felix just stood there like he was Hercules or some shit, some almighty protector that didn't have to take care of his girlfriend because he could get away with just standing there and looking tough. Fuck that.

I grabbed Bella by the waist to steady her, which is when I noticed fuckhead's jaw clench and he began cracking his knuckles.

What a fucking douche. There was no need to bring theatrics into this.

Once Bella was standing, I held her by the face and gently lifted her chin up with my finger. She licked her lips, not trying to be seductive, but fuck me, that's how it came off because I was just so fucking hot for her always.

She was flushed but drunk but gorgeous, and I had a sick feeling that Felix was gonna take her home and ravish her.

I'd let her be the judge of that.

As I held her beautiful face cupped in my hand, I wanted nothing more than to kiss her and hug her and hold her and ravish her. I wanted her so bad. An animalistic urge to rip her dress off right then and there rushed through my body but I shook the thought out of my head to focus on the task at hand.

I couldn't stand not seeing her face anymore. I needed the mask off. Quickly but carefully I untied her mask, mindful to not let it get caught in her hair, and in that moment, my body went still.

I froze. Her mask dropped to the floor, and my heart started beating out of my chest.

She was more fucking beautiful than I could have ever imagined.

Being in France all that time I had dreams about her every night and daydreamed about her and had sexual fantasies about her, but never in my wildest dreams did she ever look as good as she did right now.

This was it.

I was going to come clean. I had to confess to her.

She had to know that I still loved her and wanted her. We could fucking run away together. Fuck the Volturi. They could destroy my mother's life but they couldn't fucking destroy mine.

They could never, ever take away the love that we had for each other. The fucking burning desire in my groin was aching and I needed her now. I was losing control.

"Bella, I need you to listen to me," I said slowly and clearly, rubbing her cheek softly.

Nobody else existed right now. It was just me and her.

As I was in the middle of preparing my declaration of love for her, something I'd dreamed of for ages, I saw two fucking girls in my periphery. Two girls I only knew too well. Two girls I loved; two girls that were my best friends, but two girls that would be a threat to any girl, especially Bella.

I panicked.

And then realization hit her, and she fucking lost it. It looked like she was about to blow a gasket.

Instead her face went completely white and blank, and she tumbled to the floor.

Felix and I ran in to catch her at the same time, but it was Nessie who broke her fall by sliding to the ground and holding her up with her body. It was fucking heroic. And somewhat erotic.

"Jeez, she was hammered," Fucktard said, trying to lighten the mood. Fuck him and fuck his lightening the mood attempts. "I didn't even realize she was drinking tonight," he went on, as if he fucking knew a thing about her. Fucking tool.

"Yah, well. Bella's a lightweight, what can I say. People should take better care of her," I struggled as I picked her up off of Nessie and carried her in my arms. "Ness, you alright?"

"I'm fine thanks," she said, dusting off her clothes. "She would have had a concussion. I didn't know what else to do since you two were staring each other down so intensely."

Felix tried to take Bella from my arms but I just whipped around and turned my back to him, clutching onto Bella tighter while I had the chance.

I carried her up to my bedroom and gently lowered her onto my bed. It was still just me and her here; everyone else didn't matter. Nessie and Felix were bickering about something but I didn't care.

Bella was here and that's all that mattered.

"Edward, you can't fucking do this to her again," Nessie pleaded. It was annoying, like a ringing in my ear or a mosquito. I didn't want to fucking hear that I couldn't have her.

I was holding her right in my arms; it would be impossible to just leave her again.

"Edward, you are well aware of the circumstances that made you do what you did," she persisted, careful not to reveal any of the details to this nosey Felix fucker.

"What if things have changed, Nessie? What if being alone for a year made me realize what is actually important in my life, huh? What if I can't fucking leave her again?"

"Well then mate, you're a selfish bastard," Felix but in. If I wasn't so blissful from being around my girl and dizzy and weak from the Valium I'd have killed him. "You should've seen her. She was a wreck. I slowly showed her that it was alright to show emotion again. She never even mentioned you. I only ever got a head's up from Nessie."

"It was too painful for her to remember. It was easier for her to just forget you," Nessie explained. "And that is what she did."

I gently pushed back a strand of Bella's hair away from her face, and I'd have given anything to kiss her soft, perfect lips.

"Felix, give us a minute?" Nessie asked, becoming increasingly anxious about something.

"What?" I spat at her once the douche left the room. "What do you want me to do, huh? Just let her fucking be with some guy who doesn't love her one-tenth of how much I love her?" I shot a pained glance at Nessie because damn, I was hurting.

After a few moments of silence, Nessie spoke up.

"You know what you have to do, Edward," she began softly. "Just do it for Bella. You know it's the right thing to do."

I wanted to tell Nessie to shut the hell up, but she was right. I couldn't put Bella in danger, no matter how badly I wanted her. It just wasn't safe.

And it wasn't just Nessie's persistence that made me feel uneasy about her safety. Alice sent me a text earlier today telling me that she was having these "premonitions" about Bella's safety. Normally I'd have called her a whack-job and ignored her warnings, but Alice was never wrong, and shit was fucked up enough as is.

So I did what I had to do; not what I wanted to do.

We hung out in the room waiting for Bella to come to, and it took a hell of a lot longer than we expected. What was thought to be ten minutes of anxiously waiting turned into an hour and a half of extreme awkwardness between Felix, Nessie and I. The twins sat beside me because hell, they didn't want to miss out on one of Bella's freakouts of the century. They were well worth witnessing, especially if they weren't directed at you.

The waiting period consisted of me and the twins having in-depth conversations, Felix sneering at me because I had two hot lesbians by my side, me sneering back because he was fucking my girlfriend, and Nessie just sat there glaring at both of us.

I paid close enough attention to Bella the whole time because hell, I cared about her more than anyone in the world. Which is why I was the first to notice her eyes slowly flicker open, and I swear to god a small smile formed on her pillowy lips when she woke up.

Just when I was thinking she looked like an angel, she opened her mouth, and damnit, it was show time.

"You fucking skeeze, how DARE you come here when you said you were going to Harvard?!" she began, trying to prop up her body to throw herself at me. _Oh shit._ "How _dare_ you stalk me here to shove _them_ in my face and make me miserable just like I was a year ago! How DARE YOU!!!" She was ready to attack but I didn't bother moving because hell, she was a lot weaker than me, not to mention I fucking wanted a beating because of what I was about to do to her... again.

Nessie flew in front of Bella, saving the day once again like a fucking hero. Superwoman or some shit.

Bella clearly wasn't impressed; she shot Nessie a look that could have killed and screamed out, "Whose side are you on, Judas?" When Bella started with the biblical references I knew it couldn't be good.

Nessie, or Judas, made the mistake of telling Bella (albeit calmly and courteously) that she needed to settle down. Which I mean, she did, because she only just woke up from being passed out.

"The fuck I do! Fuck you, Nessie. Fuck you for bringing me here. Did you know this was gonna happen? Did you fucking KNOW?! You were rejected by him too, remember? He fucking ditched you too!!"

_And cue the attention to me. _

"What are you looking at, huh?!" Bella spat at Felix who was kinda just sitting there with his jaw dropped like he'd never seen a girl yell before.

And that shit got me thinking hard. Was it possible that douche-nads never provoked Bella the way I did? Was it possible they never fought, and he never saw her like this before?

Was it possible Bella was happy with this piece of turd?

Bella happy, whether it be with this clown or not, was all I ever wanted. So I did what I had to do.

"Bella, you're fucking insane," I gritted through my teeth, trying my best to sound like an insensitive prick. Unfortunately, I was pretty fucking good at that.

"I'm insane?"

"She is... very nice, mais oui?" Gigi butt in, feeling like this was an appropriate time to verbally assess Bella. Fucking Europeans.

Then as if things couldn't get any worse, Juli started moaning and rubbing Gigi's shoulders and twirling her hair, publicly declaring their lesbianism to the rest of the gang. And now Bella thought I was fucking the broads. I wish, but she was the reason I wasn't.

"Nice new girlfriends," Bella spat venomously at the twins.

"Bella, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. I don't want to see you anymore," I said flatly, hoping that would do the trick. I'm not gonna lie, I was fucking trembling. I was choking back tears and kept rubbing my goddamn eyes as if I was tired or something, just to hide the fact that I was a fucking pussy.

I couldn't even fucking look her in the eyes, because I knew her expression would be pained and that shit would burn a permanent image in my head for life.

"You're a fucking coward, Edward" Bella exclaimed, again trying to throw her body on mine. "Fucking tell me that to my face, you fucking pussy! Fucking tell me you can't --- can't," she started hyperventilating and crying, but I couldn't fucking look.

Fuck that. I had to look.

She needed to know I was serious. Or she needed to at least think I was.

So I gathered a deep breath, mentally preparing myself for this, and looked her in her big beautiful brown eyes. "I don't want to see you ever again."

That was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

Felix butt in, clearly taking advantage of what the fuck I had to do, and walked over and kissed Bella on the cheek. I clenched my fists to control my rage and kept my eyes on the wall behind them so I didn't have to fucking see any more.

"Let's get out of here," Bella said, then fucking mouthfucked Felix right in front of me. She shoved her fucking tongue down his throat and he cupped her fucking breast right in front of me just to spite me.

I was fucking sick of what I'd done and who I became. I couldn't fucking tolerate this shit anymore.

Fuck this. Fuck life. Fuck everything.

**A/N: Review like mad. You rocked it last time. Let me know your thoughts; what makes you happy, what makes you sad about my chapters, what food you like, whatever. Show me some love. **


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